CHoccolaTE:


OK it's 351 likes so far, I honestly thought it would be more.
Imagine the nonsense. Don't raise your voice, give him a treat.
tufia.

Babe,give me the link abeg

CHoccolaTE:



Of course na,
Another one is that when it suits them they say women are not polygamous and were created to stay faithful to one man.
When it doesn't suit them you see them claiming women enjoy sex as much as men and are only pretending so they should stop acting like they are doing men a favor by having sex with them.

Confused people.

You need a good prick in your life

Daeylar:


I found the thread An except of the pound yam advice, I can't stop laughing

The link pls
I want to save it for reference purposes .

cococandy:


Yea. Try to emotionally blackmail me into agreeing with you that it’s better for a woman to get cheated on than a man. You are not the first.

I’m very loyal to my gender and will never compromise it to boost your ego. Take a seat.

Spits. No woman on nairaland has argued with me to this point without giving up.
I never encouraged cheating by men, I only said men shouldn't take back cheating wives but you felt men should do so because women also take back cheating husbands as if they are being forced to do so.

I regret replying your mention

Elder001:


Spits. No woman on nairaland has argued with me to this point without giving up.
I never encouraged cheating by men, I only said men shouldn't take back cheating wives but you felt men should do so because women also take back cheating husbands as if they are being forced to do so.

I regret replying your mention

Sucks for you huh? Master argumentator

LadySarah:


The link pls
I want to save it for reference purposes .

At your service
https://www.nairaland.com/4042701/caught-husband-red-handed

Femsyn:


That's why I used the words "assume", "perhaps". Because I might be wrong or right. Same way the OP has pointed out the wife is a year older. OK?

Noted!

Daeylar:




At your service
https://www.nairaland.com/4042701/caught-husband-red-handed

This thread is so full of shit and nonsense coming from so call egocentric Nigerian Men. I pity the woman that would marry some of these online guys. So a cheating man should be given pounded yam and egusi soap, pamper him and ask question why he did it but a man cannot do the same for the woman.

Cheating is not good and I am against it 100% but whatever is good for the goose is also good for the gander. This is not feminist talk but a reality of life.

It is well OP. Please decide on whatever you want on your own and getting advice online from a lot of divorced men it’s a NO NO. Think twice and also know that Forgiving spirit is the greatest love

Daeylar:




At your service
https://www.nairaland.com/4042701/caught-husband-red-handed

This is sad mehnn.!!
I can't ,as in I just can't.

He even said she shouldn't raise her voice when confronting him.Do you think that woman's husband would beg her if she was jobless?Did you notice that and compare it to this thread where the op kept emphasizing how he is 100% percent breadwinner.


Women,go to work! No more housewife ship, that ship has sailed with our mothers

Ishilove:

I hate you

Weytin him do na? I even wanted to correct you before he did so

postmann:


I'm at a loss why you quoted us after the initial quote from elder. But if that was meant to draw my thoughts on this issue, well, here it is;



John 8:7 comes in handy when women gather around to garner support for one of their kind caught in adultery.

CHRIST was more concerned about the soul of the woman since her sin attracted the maximum penalty. It shouldn't be a classic example on how to forgive an adulterous wife.

Now coming properly to the issue of adultery: I wonder where today's women lost their common sense when it comes to understanding the cardinal difference between men and women.

There's a big difference when a woman is unfaithful and when a man is. And here are my points;

** Never at anytime did GOD permit a woman to be married to two men at a time, unlike men.

*** No known deity punishes a man because he is sexually unfaithful to his wife as long as the object of his unfaithfulness is not another man's wife.

*** GOD wasn't perturbed when Sarah offered her slave girl to Abraham to wife, but was ready to strike when Abraham willingly offered Sarah twice to two kings

*** Deut 24: 1-4 puts it even clearer.

*** 1 cor 11: 7b ...for the woman is the glory of man.

I'll reiterate what I've always said on this forum, sex takes place in the inside of a woman. That's why when a married woman commits adultery she is defiled spiritually and physically. And the nature of man doesn't permit him to ever regard the woman in the same way again.

Forgiveness in this regard doesn't mean taking her back as your wife.

You can càll me a sexist or something worse and I'll readily tell you that you're right, I'm guilty as charged.

Cc daeylar, cococandy.

giftygirl1:

I'm at a loss why you quoted us after the initial quote from elder. But if that was meant to draw my thoughts on this issue, well, here it is;



John 8:7 comes in handy when women gather around to garner support for one of their kind caught in adultery.

CHRIST was more concerned about the soul of the woman since her sin attracted the maximum penalty. It shouldn't be a classic example on how to forgive an adulterous wife.

Now coming properly to the issue of adultery: I wonder where today's women lost their common sense when it comes to understanding the cardinal difference between men and women.

There's a big difference when a woman is unfaithful and when a man is. And here are my points;

** Never at anytime did GOD permit a woman to be married to two men at a time, unlike men.

*** No known deity punishes a man because he is sexually unfaithful to his wife as long as the object of his unfaithfulness is not another man's wife.

*** GOD wasn't perturbed when Sarah offered her slave girl to Abraham to wife, but was ready to strike when Abraham willingly offered Sarah twice to two kings

*** Deut 24: 1-4 puts it even clearer.

*** 1 cor 11: 7b ...for the woman is the glory of man.

I'll reiterate what I've always said on this forum, sex takes place in the inside of a woman. That's why when a married woman commits adultery she is defiled spiritually and physically. And the nature of man doesn't permit him to ever regard the woman in the same way again.

Forgiveness in this regard doesn't mean taking her back as your wife.

You can càll me a sexist or something worse and I'll readily tell you that you're right, I'm guilty as charged.

naptu2:


Takes?

I hate you

Yes. I know that that version of God was created to endorse your misogyny

Nothing new there.

Elder001:


Cc daeylar, cococandy.

cococandy:
Yes. I know that that version of God was created to endorse your misogyny

Nothing new there.

I'm a known feminist on this site and I've received a lot of insults even from women because of my feminist views, so, I find it funny that you'll mistake me for a misogynist because I endorsed what God said.

You're a Christian therefore you're expected to live by the rules of the Bible.

You’re a joke is what you are.

What God said indeed

Elder001:


I'm a known feminist on this site and I've received a lot of insults even from women because of my feminist views, so, I find it funny that you'll mistake me for a misogynist because I endorsed what God said.

You're a Christian therefore you're expected to live by the rules of the Bible.

My kinda thread

I read the op’s story and I felt really depressed, not because of his wife per se, but because he’s a successful young man who provided for his family.

I always thought and I still believe what most Nigerian women want most is money—so I am quite befuddled that the OP’s wife will cheat on him despite the comfort and opulence. My advice is for the OP to send his wife packing and to do a DNA test for the daughter.

And as for elder001 who is arguing with known and dreaded feminists on NL, I really think you should avoid feminists on NL as they are quite scary people. Their ideology most times stem from pain occassioned by hurt inflicted by men earlier in life.

I fear and avoid any woman who even argues too much, let alone a feminist. They have the uncanny to kill men fast. I advice any young man to flee at the faintest whiff of a woman having feminist tendencies.

Once again, I sympathize with the OP. God will heal and restore you.

CAPSLOCKED:
PRAY TO THE LORD FOR THE SPIRIT OF FORGIVENESS, AND TO CAST AWAY THE SPIRIT OF CHEATING FROM HER, AND MAKE HER A LOYAL WIFE. THEN REPACKAGE YOURSELF. MAYBE YOU'VE LOST YOUR SEXINESS AND SHAPE. GIVE HER MORE MONEY, ATTENTION, AND SEX. HOPEFULLY YOUR MARRIAGE WILL BE BETTER HENCEFORTH.
CHEERS.

I saw what you did there.

CHoccolaTE:


I remember reading on this same Nairaland, a certain thread where a married woman came to complain about her cheating husband, she said she caught the man having sex with another woman inside their matrimonial home, right on top of their matrimonial bed.
If that isn't the height of disrespect then I don't know what is.

But guess what out wonderful Nairaland men said to her? They advised her to pound yam for him and prepare his favorite soup and then in a loving respectful tone of voice she should ask him what happened that made him cheat and help him work on those problems.

That particular idiotic suggestion to pound yam for a shameless cheating husband gathered more than 500likes, and many more heartless beasts that call themselves men were cheering the person that wrote the comment and advising the wife to follow his advice.


You men deserve a taste of your own medicine.

Some idiots will tell you women find it easier to overlook cheating and forgive and in the same breathe will tell you how women are softer and more emotional than men so how can the same weaker more emotional person withstand blows and heartache better than the logical unemotional one?

And no, women can have sex without attaching emotions. Women have friends with benefits and sugar mommies keep sugar boys they sleep with on a casual basis.

No gender cheating is better or worse than the other.

victorian(f): 6:06am
She must have gone through alot of lack and poverty for her to be grateful having a married man taking care of her needs.
There is no real difference between her and a man who married openly more than one wife. Look at Alafin of Oyo, he married so many wives and he's taking care of them well, none is complaining. They all have houses built on their names, buisnesses here there. The wives are happy, nothing like divorce in his home, all minding their own buisness but all taking good care of the king. Look at Mayweather, the boxer he has many wives And concubines abroad. None of them is complaining, none has divorced him. The Op should let the married man marry her properly and she will become second wife and stay on her lane. As long as the man still loves his wife at home and taking care of both their needs. I see nothing wrong in it. The men that married only one wife, no be divorce tomorrow, divorce today? Ordinary food sef, some cannot provide. Beating today, beating tomorrow.
Babe enjoy your life jare. There is no karma in this one, as long as she doesn't plan evil to his wife.

PLEASE READ THE ABOVE POST BY YOUR FELLOW WOMAN. AFTER READING IT, DOT YOUR Is AND CROSS YOUR Ts, THEN YOU WILL SEE WHY SOME MISGUIDED MEN THINK IT IS NORMAL TO CHEAT ON THEIR WIVES. IT BAFFLES ME HOW A LADY WOULD ACCEPT TO BE A SECOND WIFE OR A SIDE CHICK TO A MARRIED MAN.

cococandy, daeylar

cococandy:
I will laminate this post

Lol, I won't deny those words

Femsyn:
OK. Why do I have a feeling this whole story will change soon as your wife's side of the story is heard?

You're 25. Dated since 2008. Married 2015. Had a baby girl in 2015.

A little mathematics shows you got married at 22. Started dating while you were 15. Wife is, I assume, younger, since she's just serving. It also shows that perhaps, pregnancy prompted the wedding in 2015.

From your writeup, I sense you feel she's an ingrate despite the financial assurance you provide.

What do I see?

I see a bored young lady who seem caged and wants to be set loose!!!

Gbam

[quote author=Taylor430 post=71205455]Thanks a lot to everyone who has shared his/her opinion and I was able to gain a thing or two from you guys.

She is 26. She is a year older than I am and we started as secondary school sweet hearts. The thing is we have always been together all our adult lives. I don’t understand why some people are saying I didn’t let her enjoy her youth. She is the only woman I have ever had an intercourse with and I try my best to make sure we always communicate about these things.

She called her mom today and she explained everything to her mom. Well I don’t know what was said but she called me to inform me she is coming to our house and she was pleading with me on the phone. I don’t want to involve my mom yet because she loves me and she will fight tooth and nail to make sure this get messy.

I have been here thinking if I don’t have my daughter, the decision would have been very easy to make. I know no matter how I try my decision will surely affect my daughter. She will have to live with my mom because I have to work. I believe no one can ever take care of her like I would.

I have packed my bags and I’m ready to leave the country for a month so I can find peace. Will I ever find peace again. My heart is shattered! I don’t know how long this has been going on! She would go have sex with him and come back home to kiss my daughter and I.

I saw some people on your platform advise me to submit myself for STI/STD. Well I will be doing that but I have treated myself for STI three times this year. I wondered how I got them. I trusted my wife and I thought she got it from a public toilet. I was stupid and blind. [/quote

Pls kindly involve your parents and believe me it's not the first time she's doing this act probably with different guys.
Don't allow her mom or the affections you have for her or the fact that you are thinking of your daughter well-being to summit to her plea , pls kindly involve your parents in this case you are still very much young here to handle such a sensitive matter alone no matter your financial status or the level of your exposure in life.
Theirs a lot to infidelity in marriage if care is not taking it bring you down both financially and other wise, reasons is because woman is the backbone of the family, they influence the home both positively and negatively.
Shalom

Homeboiy:



Sir, I'm angry

I can never forgive a cheating wife

Don't let her mother meet you

Don't discuss anything with the mother

Discuss with your own mother first before u make the real decision which is divorce

You make the most valid point here , seriously he might be ignorant of the history of the family, spiritually and otherwise.
He's too young to handle this issue alone because after the this , the next stage might be how to cage and manipulate him.
P.s
He might not even know the history of the said mother-inlaw , such as infidelity aspects and diabolic aspects too.

Richy4:


I understand what you were trying to say man. But what I can only say is that she was not mentally prepared age wise... Besides try watching one movie every time.. how would u know if movie B is better than A when you have not tried movie B...

give or take, she became 15, jump into a relationship and knows nothing about any other but this guy. .. She is bound to make mistakes when another voice speaks to her in a calm seductive manner... especially when there's a relationship misunderstanding at home. ..this is because she got no experience in dealing with such situations. .. in a relationship such things happens but mental maturity... That is knowing that u are in that institution for ever and no going back is what solves the problem. .."she did not test the waters " This is just a "carry over" that was not surpose to happen

This said lady was also graduate and I believed that the guy has not always be with her every time of the year and also the possibility of her bedded several men is still high than her not beaded any during her university time.
My brother no excuse for been early (15) and not mature because she never marry at age 15 .

Please stop this, even Jesus gave adultery as the only reason for divorce, she has committed that and many more.
Bro inform both parties and divorce if that's what will make you feel better.
After that forgive her.

Deman05:
Forgive her, cover her sins and you both should build your faith in God more stronger....for me, that's the only true but painful way.

Taylor430:
Thanks a lot to everyone who has shared his/her opinion and I was able to gain a thing or two from you guys.

She is 26. She is a year older than I am and we started as secondary school sweet hearts. The thing is we have always been together all our adult lives. I don’t understand why some people are saying I didn’t let her enjoy her youth. She is the only woman I have ever had an intercourse with and I try my best to make sure we always communicate about these things.

She called her mom today and she explained everything to her mom. Well I don’t know what was said but she called me to inform me she is coming to our house and she was pleading with me on the phone. I don’t want to involve my mom yet because she loves me and she will fight tooth and nail to make sure this get messy.

I have been here thinking if I don’t have my daughter, the decision would have been very easy to make. I know no matter how I try my decision will surely affect my daughter. She will have to live with my mom because I have to work. I believe no one can ever take care of her like I would.

I have packed my bags and I’m ready to leave the country for a month so I can find peace. Will I ever find peace again. My heart is shattered! I don’t know how long this has been going on! She would go have sex with him and come back home to kiss my daughter and I.

I saw some people on your platform advise me to submit myself for STI/STD. Well I will be doing that but I have treated myself for STI three times this year. I wondered how I got them. I trusted my wife and I thought she got it from a public toilet. I was stupid and blind.

The Lord is your strength brother

postmann:


I'm at a loss why you quoted us after the initial quote from elder. But if that was meant to draw my thoughts on this issue, well, here it is;



John 8:7 comes in handy when women gather around to garner support for one of their kind caught in adultery.

CHRIST was more concerned about the soul of the woman since her sin attracted the maximum penalty. It shouldn't be a classic example on how to forgive an adulterous wife.

Now coming properly to the issue of adultery: I wonder where today's women lost their common sense when it comes to understanding the cardinal difference between men and women.

There's a big difference when a woman is unfaithful and when a man is. And here are my points;

** Never at anytime did GOD permit a woman to be married to two men at a time, unlike men.

*** No known deity punishes a man because he is sexually unfaithful to his wife as long as the object of his unfaithfulness is not another man's wife.

*** GOD wasn't perturbed when Sarah offered her slave girl to Abraham to wife, but was ready to strike when Abraham willingly offered Sarah twice to two kings

*** Deut 24: 1-4 puts it even clearer.

*** 1 cor 11: 7b ...for the woman is the glory of man.

I'll reiterate what I've always said on this forum, sex takes place in the inside of a woman. That's why when a married woman commits adultery she is defiled spiritually and physically. And the nature of man doesn't permit him to ever regard the woman in the same way again.

Forgiveness in this regard doesn't mean taking her back as your wife.

You can càll me a sexist or something worse and I'll readily tell you that you're right, I'm guilty as charged.

Una don come with twisting the bible to serve misogynistic interests.
When some people came to ask Jesus questions about marriage and divorce,he reminded them that the Creator made them a male for a female.
'Haven't you read the Scriptures?" Jesus replied. "They record that from the beginning 'God made them male and female.' Matt.19:4
Forget all that story about God allowing men to do it but not allowing women.God's original plan was that they both live by the same rules as given in the garden of Eden.

.

Hi Taylor430,

The issue of infidelity in marriage is a very touchy topic. It is a really sad situation you just painted.

Please if you can, get in touch with us at centreformaritalaffairs@gmail.com. You can also come to our office for counselling, if you wish. It is free of charge. We are a Non-profit, Non-governmental organisation whose mission is to ensure that all marriages remain healthy.

It is our passion to improve the overall strength of a couple's relationship. Please check my signature for more information.

Postmann, you are entitled to your opinion but please don't twist the scriptures.

Oga,

I suggest that if you are fat, lose weight. Try and get that six pack. Maybe she is no longer physically attracted to you.

Also try and dress smart, wear something that will attract her to you once again.

Maybe you no longer show her love, and she is looking for that outside. Try to be more romantic and loving. There are books you can read to help you out.

Take a hard look at yourself and wherever you think you have erred, fix it so that your marriage can have a fighting chance.

Good luck and may the gods be with you.