Lemme set the ball rolling

It was the year 2013

I was in my year two in the prestigious OOU.
It was during a holiday period so I was at home. So there was this new girl that just packed into our neighbourhood. This girl was the whole nine yards. Her name was bukola and she was very sexy.

Na so me and my boys come start to they front anytime this girl was around our vicinity. I was forming my own jejely, waiting for my friends to try out their luck first so that I will go last. This would give the impression of me being "unique", or so I thought.

So as I was still fronting and waiting, my brothers were already trying their luck and the girl was shooting them down one by one. Until it got to Dennis' turn.

He was the baddest guy among us, he was into G stuff then though he has stopped now since he couldn't pay the price to plus his ministry (if you know, you know)

All of us were fronting and expecting Dennis to come back and read his book of Lamentations to us when the unexpected happened. We started seeing pictures of both him and the girl on his 2go account(2go was reigning back then).He changed his relationship status from single to in a relationship. He was also calling and pinging the gal 24/7. Fast forward to the next two weeks, he was already drilling the Bukola's oil rig.

All of us were just surprised and hailing Dennis when the unexpected happened. Dennis suddenly disappeared after dating the girl for like five months. Two days after his disappearance... An elderly couple came to find Dennis only to discover that he vanished to thin air. They didn't say a word and left.

5 days later Dennis suddenly reappeared. He was so disorganized and disoriented when we saw him and it was unlike Dennis cause he was a cool guy and very neat.

Long story short, Dennis made a mistake and ate Bukky's pussy raw and it resulted to pregnancy. Bukola informed him and he vanished only to appear later claiming that he always see people in black chasing him with cutlass and axe and pouring him water on his body. Turns out both of Bukky's parents were attending white garment churches.

The only regrets I had was that I didn't get my chance to approach her and both of them got married eventually. They're still together till today.

Has any thing similar happened to you before??

Please share and let's have a good time

Lalasticlala, mynd44, farano, fynestboi, luciferkristi, earthbound, lefulefu, tosyn2much, obontami, wristbangle, biacan, nwaamaikpe

OP make your mind up on what you want people to talk about

Earthbound:
OP make your mind up on what you want people to talk about

life isn't a one sided something now.

Besides, life is synonymous to variety

I'll tell you about the funniest thing that happened to me recently.

Last week, I took a stroll from my house to use the Diamond bank ATM at Opebi. I contemplated going to chop fish and chips at Pekas so I called a friend to meet me there. Whilst asking him to meet me there, he said he was stuck in traffic so I told him I was going to eat there and I had time to wait for him. I made this call just in front of the bank where there were a couple of sex workers. As I finished making the call, one of the girls there was like 'fine boy, make I follow you na'. I ignored and kept walking. She followed me all the way inside, waited for me to order my food, and came to sit next to me. She said I looked like one of Bob Marley's sons. I ordered one small stout for her. When my fish and chips came, I dug in hungrily not sending anybody mama. I told her point blank that I really wasn't interested in her. She asked for another bottle for the road, and I obliged. Not long after, my guy came. He liked the chic and they hit it off. We stayed for another hour or so. My guy said he was going to lodge the chic. I said no p. I finished up and went home only for my guy to call me around 7 the next morning to lend him some money as his bank was effing up. I went to meet him at the hotel and it turned out he couldn't transfer at the time (he's more boxed up than me) to the chic who was waiting for her payment. After I did the transfer of 8k to the girl. She blurted out, "no carry me again o. If you see me for outside, just commot your face. Your prick no fit stand finish. No be your friend be dis? Fine boy." At that instant she grabbed my property which was quite visible through my sweatpants. "No be man b dis? Ewu!"
Did I mention all of this went down in the lobby of the hotel?


modified.
Moral of the story. Women respect whom they believe is the money bag.

Earthbound:

I'll tell you about the funniest thing that happened to me recently.

Last week, I took a stroll from my house to use the Diamond bank ATM at Opebi. I contemplated going to chop fish and chips at Pekas so I called a friend to meet me there. Whilst asking him to meet me there, he said he was stuck in traffic so I told him I was going to eat there and I had time to wait for him. I made this call just in front of the bank where there were a couple of sex workers. As I finished making the call, one of the girls there was like 'fine boy, make I follow you na'. I ignored and kept walking. She followed me all the way inside, waited for me to order my food, and came to sit next to me. She said I looked like one of Bob Marley's sons. I ordered one small stout for her. When my fish and chips came, I dug in hungrily not sending anybody mama. I told her point blank that I really wasn't interested in her. She asked for another bottle for the road, and I obliged. Not long after, my guy came. He liked the chic and they hit it off. We stayed for another hour or so. My guy said he was going to lodge the chic. I said no p. I finished up and went home only for my guy to call me around 7 the next morning to lend him some money as his bank was effing up. I went to meet him at the hotel and it turned out he couldn't transfer at the time (he's more boxed up than me) to the chic who was waiting for her payment. After I did the transfer of 8k to the girl. She blurted out, "no carry me again o. If you see me for outside, just commot your face. Your prick no fit stand finish. No be your friend be dis? Fine boy." At that instant she grabbed my property which was quite visible through my sweatpants. "No be man b dis? Ewu!"
Did I mention all of this went down in the lobby of the hotel?

like seriously? She did all of this in front of the whole hotel staff and customers. Your embarrasment plus na big one oh. Cha, can't stop laughing

are you guys shy ni? Share a story now. Even if its short

TheOdd1sOut:
like seriously? She did all of this in front of the whole hotel staff and customers. Your embarrasment plus na big one oh. Cha, can't stop laughing

There were actually less than 5 people around at the time.

Nothing funny to share.

Earthbound:

There were actually less than 5 people around at the time.

ehyah... Another funny thing happened to my friend too

Earthbound:

I'll tell you about the funniest thing that happened to me recently.

Last week, I took a stroll from my house to use the Diamond bank ATM at Opebi. I contemplated going to chop fish and chips at Pekas so I called a friend to meet me there. Whilst asking him to meet me there, he said he was stuck in traffic so I told him I was going to eat there and I had time to wait for him. I made this call just in front of the bank where there were a couple of sex workers. As I finished making the call, one of the girls there was like 'fine boy, make I follow you na'. I ignored and kept walking. She followed me all the way inside, waited for me to order my food, and came to sit next to me. She said I looked like one of Bob Marley's sons. I ordered one small stout for her. When my fish and chips came, I dug in hungrily not sending anybody mama. I told her point blank that I really wasn't interested in her. She asked for another bottle for the road, and I obliged. Not long after, my guy came. He liked the chic and they hit it off. We stayed for another hour or so. My guy said he was going to lodge the chic. I said no p. I finished up and went home only for my guy to call me around 7 the next morning to lend him some money as his bank was effing up. I went to meet him at the hotel and it turned out he couldn't transfer at the time (he's more boxed up than me) to the chic who was waiting for her payment. After I did the transfer of 8k to the girl. She blurted out, "no carry me again o. If you see me for outside, just commot your face. Your prick no fit stand finish. No be your friend be dis? Fine boy." At that instant she grabbed my property which was quite visible through my sweatpants. "No be man b dis? Ewu!"
Did I mention all of this went down in the lobby of the hotel?

wait I didn't fully understand your story....


why did she say no carry me again o. If you see me for outside, just commot your face. Your prick no fit stand finish.

Preshy561:
Nothing funny to share.

doesn't need to be funny.Just some life experience we can learn from

Frankicent:



wait I didn't fully understand your story....


why did she say no carry me again o. If you see me for outside, just commot your face. Your prick no fit stand finish.

in other words, she told him not to patronize her again. She also told him that his preeq has stroke so it can't function again.

Update

One of my friends told me a story. This one is a bit scary o.

He and one guy went to a night club that night. They were chilling when they spotted two chicks twerking and dancing like there was no tomorrow. They decided to approach them. Turns out they were prostitutes.

They carried them to another club establishment and had the time of their lives. After that, they parted way went home separately.

So as they were going home in my friends car, the gal mood suddenly swinged from happy mood to gloomy and sad mood. My friend asked her what the matter was but she never responded. The only thing she told him was "Please stop the car. I wanna ease myself." This was about 3 in The morning.

The girl got down and dived into a bush. He waited. 10 minutes later, the girl was yet to come out. Due to concern and partly curiosity, he went into the bush to search for her. As he got to the bush, a dog (pitch black) suddenly rushed out and chased him. He scaled a fence before he was able to escape.

He trekked home. Shaken and frightened.

His only thanks was that he didn't Bleep her cause that was the thing he wanted to do.

Only thing I can of is when it was snowing heavily and I was walking down a hill covered in ice, tripped, slid down and slammed into a pole with legs wide open. Ouch

Or when I was in a cafeteria with friends with a MOUNTAIN of food on my tray and a guy I fancied was walking towards our direction and I flung the tray of food away from me, either in front of my friend or to the other end of the table, I can’t remember lol

ibkayee:
Only thing I can of is when it was snowing heavily and I was walking down a hill covered in ice, tripped, slid down and slammed into a pole with legs wide open. Ouch

Or when I was in a cafeteria with friends with a MOUNTAIN of food on my tray and a guy I fancied was walking towards our direction and I threw the tray of food away from me, either in front of my friend or to the other end of the table, I can’t remember lol

snow??

are you still in diaspora Or you're now at home??

tell us the one about the guy. in fact tell us all the stories

not everybody going to club is a normal human being. as I hear the story ehn, fear catch me

TheOdd1sOut:
snow??

are you still in diaspora Or you're now at home??

tell us the one about the guy. in fact tell us all the stories

Diaspora is technically my home since I was born here, still here

Lol I stopped liking him when I heard him talk, he had a really high pitched voice lol shallow, I know

ibkayee:

Diaspora is technically my home since I was born here, still here

Lol I stopped liking him when I heard him talk, he had a really high pitched voice lol shallow, I know

Lol... same type of voice you hate turns some women on.

any other stories?

don't say no o

I worn my trouser backwards, it was a mini trouser and quite short but fashionable.

I was on heel and felt on top of the world. I was shaking my bum bum like i was testing the durability of it...

Only to get to work and after walking the whole place up and down, I wanted to put my hands in my pocket, I realized it was not there.

I touched the back of my bum bum and oh there it was. No wonder the front looked like I had suddenly grown a gigantic manhooood.

I went to the rest room sad face to change.

Frankicent:



wait I didn't fully understand your story....


why did she say no carry me again o. If you see me for outside, just commot your face. Your prick no fit stand finish.

She wasn't referring to me

The scariest day of my life was when I had my first child, she was 7 months then and hubby wasn't around, was writing his msc exams . Just me and my baby in the house. As I woke up to feed her aroud 3am, I discovered she wasn't on the bed anymore, shock and fear enveloped me, I let out a big scream that woke up my neighbour, just then she cried out from the floor. Never knew she has fallen out from the bed and was sleeping there. God that day was terrible, was so scared. When I look at her now as she is three, I only smile.

Funniest moments
My bro and i were watching WRONG TURN and we watched it until PHCN took the light in the night and we went to bed. Him to is room and me, to my mum's room.

Not up to an hour he rushed back to my mum's door knocking and calling my name and when i answered him "what is it " he said i should come o, he couldn't sleep again that he has been imagining things (effect of the movie) so i told him i was coming, immediately i wanted to stand up, my mum held me and was like "Why you dey allow this boy use your head self. I was just staring at her confused and she continued "If him no fit sleep wetin concern you.na you send am make he watch bad film for night. na so he watch one snake film finish, he run come my room for night say Snake dey pursuit am. Lol.

I pleaded with her to allow me keep him company and she allowed me and that was how we got talking..From family to friends, to guys and girls and luckily nepa brought back the light, we were still talking and laughing, even my mum was laughing in the room and when she couldn't bear it, she joined us.

It got to point, i was feeling hungry and since there was no indomie in the house again, she had to prepare spaghetti. after eating i rushed to the room and mum was like, where you dey go? i looked at her and said "Make i do wake keeping for you.i dey go sleep na, before i even finished what i was saying, my brother just walked passed me to his room and my mum was yelling, Una don make sleep commot from my eyes una wan go sleep leave me abi and we started laughing.

We went back to bed at about 4 while she was awake till 5..
And now that he's not around, anytime i find it hard to sleep, I just enter his room and start a conversation in my head... Even insomnia self dey fear.
He was my best night conversationalist

The scariest day of my life so far will be seeing full grown up men shot with a gun and ending their journey in life with petrol and a match stick. I was in junior school then when on my way to school I saw OPC men beating 3 guys with iron rod with OLE OLE chants. They led them to the centre of the road where they burnt them up. You needed to see how I was covered with goosebumps while hearing them cry in deep pains until life left their body.

Scariest:
When my Yoruba demon of a neighbor asked me to go fetched him bathing water 7 years ago, when I brought the water he was busy talking with his friends outside. so, I decide to take the water into his room, immediately I got inside here lay this woman the size of 50 elephants.. naked and black as coal... I don't know when I screamed out at the top of my voice JESUS!!! and drop the water, ran out... he was like "What happen? wetin dey pursuit you?" I was like "I see demon" till date that she still scared the hell out of me...
This story covers the topic
It was scary to see such a black fat lady naked
*I was surprised somebody can actually sleep *with such an elephant.
*It was funny the way I screamed Jesus
I learned summary for school




Bonus
Funniest:
When I asked LEO [UBA bot] when last he had sex and he replied me "When last did you wash your brain"?

Surprise Experience
When I asked a friend to transfer N100 to me so that I can withdraw my last N500... after he transferred it and walked 30mins to ATM, on getting there I queued for 20mins more and when it was almost my turn I received a maintenance debt alert of N52 from UBA... the surprise and frustration on my face that day I'll never forget

Divay22:
All in one abi

Share your own na

Offpoint:
.

Patiently anticipating your own

Bluezy13:


Share your own na

After you

Divay22:
After you

Na you first come na...

Ginaz:
I worn my trouser backwards, it was a mini trouser and quite short but fashionable.

I was on heel and felt on top of the world. I was shaking my bum bum like i was testing the durability of it...

Only to get to work and after walking the whole place up and down, I wanted to put my hands in my pocket, I realized it was not there.

I touched the back of my bum bum and oh there it was. No wonder the front looked like I had suddenly grown a gigantic manhooood.

I went to the rest room sad face to change.

hahaha... Hope nobody saw you

nwanyiugbo122:
The scariest day of my life was when I had my first child, she was 7 months then and hubby wasn't around, was writing his msc exams . Just me and my baby in the house. As I woke up to feed her aroud 3am, I discovered she wasn't on the bed anymore, shock and fear enveloped me, I let out a big scream that woke up my neighbour, just then she cried out from the floor. Never knew she has fallen out from the bed and was sleeping there. God that day was terrible, was so scared. When I look at her now as she is three, I only smile.

the agony of a mother over a missing child catch you for a sec there. How is she now

Bluezy13:

Patiently anticipating your own

lol, updated