Can old firewood catch fire?

I had a discussion with some friends a while ago. The topic dwelt on whether former lovers both now married can still come together. My answer is as good as your guess.

No, they can't come back together if they are both married. The answer is so obvious!

What argument did your friends use to support the notion that such old friends can come back together?

emmmm come back is possible as in a fling. Life is not fair or straigh forward. Pure and simple.

Yes it's "posible" if that is what you mean. All things are "possible", but certain things are wrong unecessary, and unwise.

abegiii Seun dont reduce everything to right or wrong the fact is that we are human beings and therefore subject to human nature and by nature we are selfish. The issue here is not if its right or wrong, but is it possible?

While I agree that circumstances and situations are peculiar and no 2 cases are the same, I am a strong and ardent believer of Okafor's Law.

As I said in a similar thread How Well Do You Relate With Your Ex, it's very dangerous to maintain undue closeness or rapport with your ex. If you have no intention of consuming the meal, why sniff it?

You'll be amazed how many married men and women alike fall for this ungodly thing: meet up with their ex, remember old times and before they both realise it they're rekindling the flame.

Flee form all appearances of evil, the Holy Book advices.

This Okafor's Law again. Abeg, who is this Okafor? The guy deserves a Nobel prize jare.

it seems you tend to judge a lot which is not a right given to you , people do different things for a bunch of different reason so Seun abeg don't just categorize things into right or wrong. What's wrong to you may be right to me and vice versa.

Why are they coming back again, for what? they left each other for different person which means they are not made for each other. why come back, then?

infact, once you moved on, don't look back but become enemies.

Haba! Bros, enemies are not exactly recommended o. But I completely agree with every other part of your arguement.

Una doo! I mean, don't make enemy out of it.

Coming back together may only be possible depending on individual situations. Abuses from one spouse either side such as, physical, psychological or mental torture. Such a situation can result in the total lost of interest in the continuation of the union. As a result an old lover becomes a welcome development.

it all depends.anything can happen.this is not a wrong or rigth affair,anything can lead to it.as much as i agree wity okafor law.we should be very careful the way we address the issue.
seun what do you feel?


jolaoso

If you want to , I will say it possible, becuase anything can happen any time.

There's aboslutely no justification for a married woman/man to seek solace in the arms of an ex or any other person for that matter. If the marriage has become a sham such that one must resort to his/her vomit as only befits a dog, then do both yourselves and external parties a favor and stroll to the divorce court. It's amazing but you'll be suprised how fast the other ex will flee when he realises he is no longer an exciting 'run' or 'under G' affair but a prospective husband/wife. The buzz of such illict affairs is more often than not in the adventure and risk of getting caught or not. It Is Most Certainly Not Love! If they loved each other, one or both (if they're both married) will divorce the other partner(s) and marry themselves. Fat chance of that happening!

Is it just me or must there have been a solid reason they called off their relationship in the first place?........ just checking!

yomidipset4eva:
What's wrong to you may be right to me and vice versa.

Is lying right or wrong? I thought fidelity is one of the foundations of marriage. Why go through all the trouble of getting married in this 21st century if you're not going to be able to stick to your partner.

If you're running an open marriage ("a marriage where both parties agree that they are permitted the right to have sexual relationships outside the marriage, without regarding this as sexual infidelity." then it's ok to have an affair. Otherwise it is not. I think it is wrong to be deceptive to someone that loves you dearly. I think that vows, once made should be kept. If you can't keep the vows anymore, then go and annul the vows first. First tell your partner, "look, I want to go and sleep with another person" .

Ra:

There's aboslutely no justification for a married woman/man to seek solace in the arms of an ex or any other person for that matter. If the marriage has become a sham such that one must resort to his/her vomit as only befits a dog, then do both yourselves and external parties a favor and stroll to the divorce court. It's amazing but you'll be suprised how fast the other ex will flee when he realises he is no longer an exciting 'run' or 'under G' affair but a prospective husband/wife. The buzz of such illict affairs is more often than not in the adventure and risk of getting caught or not. It Is Most Certainly Not Love! If they loved each other, one or both (if they're both married) will divorce the other partner(s) and marry themselves. Fat chance of that happening!

Is it just me or must there have been a solid reason they called off their relationship in the first place?........ just checking!

It is not just you Ra, why on earth should you come back when you found yourselves incompatible in the first place and to make matters worse, you are both now married. Infact they are not serious

Yes If they come to terms provided they are still single. But since they are married case closed. Any other funny thing happening btw them is a cheat.

Well Yes. If they still like each other, all they need do is divorce their present husband/wife. Love does crazy things to people! It could break a sweet marriage and create a sweeter one.

hot-angel:

Love does crazy things to people! It could break a sweet marriage and create a sweeter one.

What in the world is that kinda love? No such thing angel.

There is such thing. I am talking because I have seen stuffs like that happen. Although it wasn't marriage. It was my cousin, she broke up with her fiance for her ex fiance because she was still in 'love' with him. She is going to her ex very soon because she says he makes her happy than the one she was with before. You see love does crazy stuffs to people.

This is an abomination. May it never happen. Abi? You said it has even happened, thank I didn't see it and have not even heard it may be I would be blind and dump by now.

Dominobaby, hope you can still see clearly and hear very well. For me I do [i]not[/I] hear o! It's an abomination. '[I]Tule-tule ko ni tule wa o[/I]' ("may home-breakers not destroy our homes".

hot-angel:

There is such thing.  I am talking because  I have seen stuffs like that happen. Although it wasn't marriage. It was my cousin, she broke up with her fiance for her ex fiance because she was still in 'love' with him.  She is going to her ex very soon because she says he makes her happy than the one she was with before. You see love does crazy stuffs to people.

Please, what i understand from Hot-Angel's point is that this cousin of hers is not yet married, just friendship. let's wait till the marriage come and see what happens. Like I said b4, if it didn't work at 1st, probably it wont work 2nd.

Well, I have heard it all and made up my mind....... really before now but not too concrete. Mine is just a case of "to rescue". I didn't know I was putting  myself in too deep. It's a long story but I thank God "nothing dey happen" Let me know if you guys are intrested in the story: I have it all documented. Just like a movie.

I think this topic was settled over a year ago, but I have to add my story and maybe someone will respond. I am involved with a married man. I love him -- have loved him since we met over 12 years ago. Were we compatible then? No -- we were too young to keep it together. We've dated other people, been in other relationships, and now he is married. I have no reason to believe that there is anything wrong in his marriage -- if he didn't want to be there I believe he would leave. Seeing that he has not -- he must love her. He has admitted that I am not out of his system, and he is not out of mine. I want him.

Do I want him to end his marriage? No.
If he did would I take him? Yes.
Am I going to put my life on hold and wait for him? No.
Would I if he asked me to? Yes.

I am not letting him go. It is hard for me to be without him -- knowing she has him everyday. I say all of this to say that -- life is tricky. What you want or need can be affected by circumstances, but they are just that -- circumstances. What is meant to happen will happen. I think it is very possible to have married the wrong person. Vows are only as good as the intention. Some people marry for citizenship, some for money, etc. I won't influence him to make any decisions about his marriage. If it doesn't survive for other reasons -- then we will see.

I might be a Jezebel, but if I decide to marry someone else I am still not letting my true love go. Period.

love will always find a way

After they are both married?

Isnt that what we call ADULTERY?

never heard of divorce?

they must both be jokers movies can b very deciveing free marriage is, what u make of it

onenine08:

I think this topic was settled over a year ago, but I have to add my story and maybe someone will respond. I am involved with a married man. I love him -- have loved him since we met over 12 years ago. Were we compatible then? No -- we were too young to keep it together. We've dated other people, been in other relationships, and now he is married. I have no reason to believe that there is anything wrong in his marriage -- if he didn't want to be there I believe he would leave. Seeing that he has not -- he must love her. He has admitted that I am not out of his system, and he is not out of mine. I want him.

Do I want him to end his marriage? No.
If he did would I take him? Yes.
Am I going to put my life on hold and wait for him? No.
Would I if he asked me to? Yes.

I am not letting him go. It is hard for me to be without him -- knowing she has him everyday. I say all of this to say that -- life is tricky. What you want or need can be affected by circumstances, but they are just that -- circumstances. What is meant to happen will happen. I think it is very possible to have married the wrong person. [size=16pt]Vows are only as good as the intention. Some people marry for citizenship, some for money, etc.[/size] I won't influence him to make any decisions about his marriage. If it doesn't survive for other reasons -- then we will see.

I might be a Jezebel, but if I decide to marry someone else I am still not letting my true love go. Period.

I love this post, expecially the part i have highlighted And boy do I know plenty married people who are stuck in relationships because of the shame and stigma that divorce brings


@ Topic

Thank God for thought inducing threads like this, instead of the so-called mindnumbing pond scum threads that seems to be awash in this section

Shite happens, but as long as you avoid Facebook and Friends Reunited and Classmates Reunited and co, it is well, because as someone already mentioned, love makes us do crazy things and it is describes as falling in love because when it comes, it sweeps you off your feet and makes you lose your balance, so beware and stay off those social networking sites if you are weak and don't trust your own conviction

@post
ofcourse its possible, i've seen a case where a man divorced his wife, got married to someone else & later divorced this other person so that he could go back to his first wife.
the world is a crazy place you know & with all the deception going on, i really dont blame some of them

@ topic

they do it all the time.

Time blunts the sharpness/memory of whatever broke them up, it seems.

However, some people are especially at risk if they were forced apart by outsiders- ie not through any incompatibility on their part.

Just what I've noticed!