Nope, not on heat

just outta recess

and er. . .na which one be FOC??

Free of charge. When u . . .u weren't hearing fi o! si meaning same?

<shakes head in disbelief>

oh Vicks!!

and some more laughter lines:


1. Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed?

2. If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the
core of the earth?

3. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at
you but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out of the
window?

4. Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your back side

5. Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is
stand up and say, 'My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic'?

6. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't
point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom?

7. Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for
centuries' have a 'use by' date?

8. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible
crisp no one would eat?

9. Is French kissing in France just called kissing?

10. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll
squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out'?

Really cool . All hail the queen of jokes' section

<smiles>

Morning to u2 Vicks

Queen ke? - Nah, Efe's just like any other joker

'n thanks for the compliment!

My God! Efe *holds heart in shock* i didn't except u online. I was just checking tru ma Erm. . . updates when i saw this.

Morning babe . So are u staying long enough so we can do the proposed . . . . I'm fit enough to

Morning to u too!!

how're u feeling?

No not staying online - off to work in a few minutes

let's catch up in the evening

Sadly a lil worse(thats how it's usually) .

I guess u've not suffered it for some time now Lol.

Yeah safe journey dear

Thanks Baby

Yeah, it's been a long while - but I know exactly how you feel

Try and get some rest till I get back

& Take Care

Okay Np

I have the answer , to the no 10 question,

The answer is * Studio CFR *, Piece of cake,

^^ Titi

still waiting 4 u 2 post your own joke make we see

abi u nor get liver? . . .

And here's another one:

2 prostitutes chatting on the corner waiting for business. One said the the other "have you ever been picked up by the Fuzz?".

The other eplied "No but I've been swung round by the t!ts once or twice".

1st thief : Oh The police is here.Quick Jumpout of the window
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry this is no time for superstitions.

***********************************************************

Lady : Is this my train?
Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this
train to KualaLumpur.
Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.

******************************************************

Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter : Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and
the game went into extra time.

**********************************************************

Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.

nice,
i want to ask
IF ONE WANTS TO COMMITT SUICIDE AND THE ROPE ROUND HIS NECK IS TOO TIGHT AND PAINFUL,CAN HE TIE IT ROUND HIS WAIST!!!!!

^^

Lancaster!!!

@ Efe, missed u so much.

Hey, missed u too

Oya wetin u bring come??

and pls not bread (again)

Man shall not leave by bread alone,
, or he risks the scourge of kwashiokor.

Efe, haba! U forget that the bread is what i used in wooing u back in teacher training college, Agbor.

@yula, i wan turn am 2 jew.

really

Thanks so much Efe. I enjoy ur jokes. They make my day.

E jor ! Make dis thread die now. E old pass Metuselah(or whateva the spelling is) self

Two old pensioners are taking a trip down memory lane by going back to the place where they first met.

Sitting at a café, the little old man says, "Remember the first time I met you over 50 years ago? We left this cafe, went round the corner behind the gas works, and I gave you one from behind."

"Why, yes, I remember it well, dear," replies the little old lady with a grin.

"Well, for old time's sake, let's go there again. and I'll give you one from behind."

The two pensioners pay their bill and leave the cafe. A young man sitting next to them has overheard the conversation and smiles to himself, thinking it would be quite amusing to see two old pensioners at it. He gets up and follows them. Sure enough, he sees the two pensioners near the gas works. The little old lady pulls off her knickers and lifts up her dress.

The old man pulls down his pants and grabs the lady's hips, and the little old lady reaches for the fence. Well, what follows is 40 minutes of the most athletic sex the man has ever seen. The little old man is banging away at the little old woman at a pace that can only be described as phenomenal. Limbs are flying everywhere, the movement is a blur, and they do not stop for a single second. Finally, they collapse and don't move for an hour.

Well, the man is stunned. Never in his life has he ever seen anything that equates to this -- not in the movies, not from his friends, not from his own experiences.

Reflecting on what he has just seen, he says to himself, "I have to know his secret. If only I could shag like that now, let alone in 50 years' time!"

The two old pensioners have by this time recovered and dressed themselves. Plucking up courage, the man approaches the pensioner.

He says, "Sir, in all my life I have never seen anybody shag like that, particularly at your age. What's your secret? Could you shag like that 50 years ago?"

The pensioner replies, "Son, 50 years ago, that fucking fence wasn't electrified."

There was a virgin that was going out on a date for the first time and she told her grandmother about it.

Her grandmother says, "Sit here and let me tell you about those young boys. "He is going to try to kiss you; you are going to like that, but don't let him do that."

She continued, "He is going to try to feel your breast; you are going to like that, but don't let him do that. He is going to try to put his hand between your legs; you are going to like that, but don't let him do that.

Then the grandmother said, "But, most importantly, he is going to try to get on top of you and have his way with you. You are going to like that, but don't let him do that. It will disgrace the family."

With that bit of advice in mind, the granddaughter went on her date and could not wait to tell her grandmother about it.

The next day she told her grandmother that her date went just as the old lady said.

She said, "Grandmother, I didn't let him disgrace the family. When he tried, I turned him over, got on top of him and disgraced his family."

Mantee:

Thanks so much Efe. I enjoy your jokes. They make my day.

you're welcome - glad you like them 

Mr.Bones:

E jor ! Make dis thread die now. E old pass Metuselah(or whateva the spelling is) self

stick with the adult night classes - it'll do wonders for your spelling

dani1luv:

I Loff You Jokes . . .Efe

longest time Dani- thank, glad u like 'em

@KayCyrils - try open your own thread to dey post your own joke

Besides, I've seen both of them! 

Efe, must u fight?

KDK:

Efe, must u fight?

who? me?? I be peace maker now!

Mr.Bones:

^^ that's one of the reasons they deported her from Nigeria

and the other reasons??

Efemena_xy:


and the other reasons??

carrying and possession of heroine in d bra