my first love and i broke up about 7 years ago (we were young and broke up over something that we shouldn't have) soon afterwards he had a child with his new girlfriend and they have been living together ever since.

We hardly saw eachother or spoke since the break up but about 7 months ago we had sex. He had visited me about two times before this and nothing happened just general chit chat and those times i just entertained him out of politeness.

I know he still loves me cos i was his first love and he seems dedicated to his family (i wouldn't say he is necessarily the cheating type just that he had intense love for me back then).

I wouldn't want to break up their unit for our selfish reasons but i think the two of us have unresolved issues. I think he is still mad at me for breaking his heart back then and i am still mad at him for holding such a grudge against me and not believing my innocence.

We live pretty close to eachother so i was wondering if its best we ironed out the issue once and for all or should i just leave things as it? I am very hurt though thinking about the situation.

what do you mean the meaning of the sex? it was just something that happened while we were together i really didnt want it but we had been kissing and the rest and it just got out of control. I got mad at him over it and i think he got pissed off with me for getting mad at him. I was just trying to avoid a situation where an affair developed.
The problem is we both never stopped loving eachother but we have a moral responsibility to his wife and kid. His wife seems lovely and dedicated too by the way.

well they are not technically married but refer to eachother as husband n wife for obvious reasons

i have moved on just wondering if i should still sit and talk to him cos it hurts more knowing that all these years he still doesn't believe me and might actually hate me. I was expecting by now he should have more respect for me and wish me well as i do for him

well it was silly of me to sleep with him but i didnt have a choice since it was inevitable (he was the one visiting me not vice versa). Guess you don't understand

What about your present bf? Oh, maybe there's no one;maybe u waited for your ex coming back,and things are now falling to place? There's nothing like my 'first love' mumbo. . .just that you are not being fair to the other woman. Think you should stop seeing him,cus nothing good will come out of this. . ,but hurts and regrets.

well at that time i was fighting with my bf and now i am single again. Thanx for the advise guys

A strong chemistry always exist between two ex-lovers when they meet again, especially if the break up was due to trivial issues. Most of the time, they hook up again when they meet again and this always leads to cheating on their present lovers.
@Poster, this is what you both are experiencing now.

1212:

, and now i am single again.

Can we hook up?

deoyel25:


Can we hook up?

why do you want to use yourself as a consolation price?
because it s obvious all the guy is using you for is sex

i think the issue is deeper than just sex (based on my instinct)

looks like u r finding every available reason in d book to get back with dis dude.
Your chances are close to zero and one thing u ought to be doing is asking yourself if he is worth the stress/risk.

you can always enjoy the NSA sex if that's what rocks your boat but erase the fact that he'd leave something definite for an unknown. Even if by any chance gets back with u, what guarantees you he is not gonna leave u for someone else in the future.

This is as clear as bread and butter. Think with ur head babe

Sounds like a Home wrecker in the making,

jay bee:

looks like u r finding every available reason in d book to get back with dis dude.
Your chances are close to zero and one thing u ought to be doing is asking yourself if he is worth the stress/risk.

you can always enjoy the NSA sex if that's what rocks your boat but erase the fact that he'd leave something definite for an unknown. Even if by any chance gets back with u, what guarantees you he is not gonna leave u for someone else in the future.

This is as clear as bread and butter. Think with your head babe

you are right, thats why i came on here to get advise

Lady Dee:


Sounds like a Home wrecker in the making,

i will hate to think i am. I'm not even trying to start anything with him cos 7 yrs is a longtime and we have both changed i just wanted to see if theres any point in resolving the past

1212:

i think the issue is deeper than just sex (based on my instinct)

for you maybe but for the guy in question,nope
if you like playing the game then go ahead but dont expect anything good to come out of it

1212:

i will hate to think i am. I'm not even trying to start anything with him cos 7 yrs is a longtime and we have both changed i just wanted to see if theres any point in resolving the past

Ehhhn, so what do you really want then?

Its like your begging for something to be there when there is absolutly nothing!
This is how homewreckers start!

Comot eye from dat place and stop the guy from seeing you

What is the need in him visiting you by the way?
Didnt you know the saying
old fire wood catch fire faster

Im sure he knows it, hence, the unnecessary visits,

Use your head, because he is definetly using ur own!

Lady Dee:

Ehhhn, so what do you really want then?

Its like your begging for something to be there when there is absolutly nothing!
This is how homewreckers start!

Comot eye from dat place and stop the guy from seeing you

What is the need in him visiting you by the way?
Didnt you know the saying
old fire wood catch fire faster

Im sure he knows it, hence, the unnecessary visits,

Use your head, because he is definetly using your own!

the situation is this: we live like i said very very close to eachother so under normal circumstance we should be bumping to eachother everyday but we don't cos our timings for going out are different and i choose not to purposely bump into him. I allowed him into my house those times because i didnt see it as anything suspicious i genuinely thought he was trying to be friendly and like he said he was forced to come and visit me cos he was wondering why he doesnt see me at all since we live so close. I have learnt my lesson since the sex episode so i will try to avoid him coming in my house and if at all he comes in i will be extra careful next time

1212:

deoyel25:

1212:

I mean it.

deoyel25:

I mean it.

based on what? my pathetic story?

Based on your status.

so you want to hook up simply because i'm single, strange

Is it because you are single that is why you are having time for frivolities. You are sleeping with a married, just know that the man will never leave his wife for you. Just know that you are helping the man when the ''T'' is standing and he needs where to insert it. Be wise and get a life my dear girl.

1212:

so you want to hook up simply because i'm single, strange

It sounds strange but its not strange. Its not all about your status but some other reasons I wont post here. I want you to forget about the past and face the future.

@mylove4him, I know you are referring to me with the first line of your post. Mind you, I aint frivolous. Ta

Sorry, but the past is just a history and you can't change it; focus on tomorrow, cause every bit of it comes every hour.

@ deoyel25 how old are you? and are you single?