My name is Chidi-ebere Lewis, I have an issue on my mind which I really need your opinions and not insults. I am a teacher in one of the private schools in my area in Isefun and my wife is a Secretary/PA in a big company and her salary a month is like four times what I receive. We have a daughter of two years old and on the day of her second birthday my wife and I decided to throw her a birthday party because on her first birthday we didn’t do much, we just marked the birthday with family members only since I was not buoyant enough to throw an elaborate party for her so for some weeks my wife was very angry with me and when the issue got to my mum she was furious that she was inconsiderate and heartless.

Now the 2nd birthday was at the corner so she began the preparation without my knowledge, buying things for the celebration and keeping them in her friend’s place. Later, she came and told me our child’s birthday was just a week away what was the plan. In response, I said you know, I haven’t been paid for two months now and you have been given me transport to go to work, so, what is on your mind. She gave me a paper with a list of items needed for the party summing up to N105,000 approximately; I was alarmed. ‘Are we throwing a party for the whole community or what, where do you want me to get such an amount from?’ I yelled at her. That’s how trouble started again? I spoke to her mum about it who told her to cut her coat according to her cloth; likewise my mum was.

Unknown to me, some of the things she bought were on credit from her friend who owns a super-market in our area. After the party, some weeks later, her friend, the owner of the super-market, came to the house on a Sunday evening to ask for her money and my mum came to visit us that same day. As we were seeing my mum off, we met her friend coming in from the gate. She started shouting that we have been avoiding her and that we were not coming to her shop to buy things since then. She also said she has seen my wife go to other shops to buy. I was lost in words and I advised her to calm down so that we could talk. We all went back inside the house to listen to her. She narrated to us the whole story and I asked my wife if what she was saying was true and to my greatest surprise she confirmed. In anger, my mum stood up and slapped her and immediately she slapped my mum back and I was so disappointed with her to the extent that I threw all her belongings out and told her to leave my house without touching her. This led to me filing for divorce, ever since the incidence, I have not had peace of mind because I miss my family but if you were in my shoes; what would you do?

Ade Ayomide, Accountant: “I would get angry obviously, but I would beg my mum and will not slap or beat her in anger but what I would do to the lady ehn…….. She would wish she didn’t slap my mum, and she would be forced to go and beg by herself. To be honest, any lady who can slap her mother-in-law no matter the circumstances is not fit to be called a wife!”


What's your take?

Full Gists: https://nextedition.com.ng/2018/10/28/mother-justified-slap-wife/

Throwing her things out and filing for divorce seems to me a bit extreme, though the fact that she dared to slap your mother back is a big insult.

The mother has no right whatsoever to slap the wife. She overdid it.
For those guys ready to tear me apart cos of their mothers, if your father in-law comes into your house and slaps you, even without retaliating, you'd still say you might send his daughter (your wife) away. Spineless bastards!
OP, don't divorce. Try and resolve the issue. The next woman might end up beating up your mom, I've seen cases like this where the mom was overbearing. And your mom should try as much as possible to stay in her husband's house, she should visit you less often. If you guys have any issues at home, DON'T, I repeat DON'T report to any of your in-laws or your own family. They usually complicate things. Then learn to handle your wife, let your NO be NO. She doesn't have to go out of her way to celebrate birthday for the girl. She still got a lot of birthdays to celebrate.
Be a man and put your house in order. And by the way, why would my mom slap my wife? She'd rather give her the silent treatment and trust me, that's more effective. If you don't handle this carefully, you'll come back one day to meet your house in shambles. Your family and in-laws in a free for all fight. And as for your wife, deal with her appropriately, not divorce.

The day your wife, mother and sister become close friends, you're finished as a man.

thesicilian:
Throwing her things out and filing for divorce seems to me a bit extreme, though the fact that she dared to slap your mother back is a big insult.

so if I am your wife and my father slaps you,will you give him your other cheek? Slapping back was obviously self defense

funmisticqueen:
so if I am your wife and my father slaps you,will you give him your other cheek? Slapping back was obviously self defense

That is so bad of her. Now you are saying you can do same if it happens to be you, nawa ooo. If your father slaps me, I won't hit him back but I will tell him not to try it again and prevent him from hitting me if he dares to try it. Somethings are not just right being an African lady or man.

funmisticqueen:
so if I am your wife and my father slaps you,will you give him your other cheek? Slapping back was obviously self defense

na now I know u dont have sence and aint matured how dare u slap ur mom in law? dint u think is beta DAT u cry to hubby about wat his mum do so he will handle it and apologized to her. slapping ur mum in law is sucide dont even think about it. funmilayo ur a Yoruba girl yet u dissappoint me with dis ur answer

dats what happens when some women earns more than their husband.
your mother shouldn't have slapped your wife likewise your wife....call your wife back.you guys are jx starting to have ended already. forgive and forget
life is short.

d day my wife or anybody tried DAT DAT person will die.yes cos I will beat the hell out of DAT person. if as a woman u got Brian why not report to ur hubby? u now carry hand to slap my mum I will beat her disgraced her and send her back to her family

funmisticqueen:
so if I am your wife and my father slaps you,will you give him your other cheek? Slapping back was obviously self defense

I won't insult you, but you forgot one day you'll become a "mother-in-law "

Estherosev2:
dats what happens when some women earns more than their husband.
your mother shouldn't have slapped your wife likewise your wife....call your wife back.you guys are jx starting to have ended already. forgive and forget
life is short.

all these girls we these days are the reason why some men don't want to marry, look at what this one is vomiting, he should forgive and forget...

If you're my wife and out of anger you remove one of my ears, I can forgive you, but just poke my mother on her forehead...

If my mother slaps my wife,and my wife reflectively-out of that initial sheer burst of anger does the same...well my actions wont be as extreme than to when it seems clear she tooked my mom as a fight mate.

daben1:
I won't insult you, but you forgot one day you'll become a "mother-in-law "

yes I will definitely become MIL one day. That still doesn't give me the right to treat another man's child with disrespect.

So pls answer the question

The case is simple, just go to the wife's mum and slap her too, so then u can start again.....

jakandeola:
d day my wife or anybody tried DAT DAT person will die.yes cos I will beat the hell out of DAT person. if as a woman u got Brian why not report to ur hubby? u now carry hand to slap my mum I will beat her disgraced her and send her back to her family

like you will support the wife

What did I just read??.... Your wife slapped your mother ?.... What the fuvk....

Op, how old is your wife? she lacks maturity, sense, brain, respect, and sense again....Who spends 100 thousand naira on a birthday party when your husband doesn't even have transport fare to go to work?...

Damn! your wife is so unreasonable... What gave her the audacity to raise her hand on your mum?.. That's the greatest insult ever..

I don't even know what to say because I can't imagine what I'd do if someone does same to my mum...
But if she's remorseful about the whole thing then maybe you should forgive her.. also make sure she goes to your mum to beg for forgiveness.... Your daughter needs a mother, and you need a wife too, a wife endowed with reason, so make sure she learns how to be reasonable.....

funmisticqueen:
like you will support the wife

if my mum do wrong I will support my wife. but my wife cant slap my mum is wrong

How can your wife slap ur mom?, this our generation self get as e be. Op, just forget it and move on cus even if u forgive her ur mom will never forget d issue and this may cause hatred BTW both of them.. Human can only forgive bt can't forget, your mom is just like a mother to her and that means she can slap her mother and if her mother forgive her, she can never forget. So my advice is follow ur hrt cus you are d one that knows how it hurt.

thesicilian:
Throwing her things out and filing for divorce seems to me a bit extreme, though the fact that she dared to slap your mother back is a big insult.

A BIT INSULT INDEED!

The foolish woman deserves more than the slap.

What even gave her the gut to slap the poor girl in the first place, I swear if I'm the girl I'll break her head and if her stupid son tries any rubbish, e go follow im mama chop.

Arrant nonsense

Mtcheewww!!

Rosay15:
How can your wife slap ur mom?, this our generation self get as e be. Op, just forget it and move on cus even if u forgive her ur mom will never forget d issue and this may cause hatred BTW both of them.. Human can only forgive bt can't forget, your mom is just like a mother to her and that means she can slap her mother and if her mother forgive her, she can never forget. So my advice is follow ur hrt cus you are d one that knows how it hurt.

Look at this ewure!!

Your mum was so wrong to slap her and she had the retaliation coming. It could have been a reflex action from your wife or something that she has always wanted to do.

Your wife should have kept her cool though. But what right does your mum have to slap her? If she had respected herself by allowing both of you solve your issue, she wouldn't have been disrespected.

So...both of them were wrong.

jakandeola:
d day my wife or anybody tried DAT DAT person will die.yes cos I will beat the hell out of DAT person. if as a woman u got Brian why not report to ur hubby? u now carry hand to slap my mum I will beat her disgraced her and send her back to her family

And what will you do to your mother?

teresafaith:

Look at this ewure!!

.I don't argue with stupid people so you're right... Cheers to ur stupidity..

Yes Op even if she is wrong.




This is d best time 4u to know how much ur wife loves you.

funmisticqueen:
so if I am your wife and my father slaps you,will you give him your other cheek? Slapping back was obviously self defense

So if your mum slaps your hubby and he slaps your mum back, then, you will praise your hubby for defending himself abi,

Reason before commenting

jakandeola:
na now I know u dont have sence and aint matured how dare u slap ur mom in law? dint u think is beta DAT u cry to hubby about wat his mum do so he will handle it and apologized to her. slapping ur mum in law is sucide dont even think about it. funmilayo ur a Yoruba girl yet u dissappoint me with dis ur answer

Dat yoruba fat girl is a fucking feminist... With no home training... But she needs a man, she's bitter

bdchange:

That is so bad of her. Now you are saying you can do same if it happens to be you, nawa ooo. If your father slaps me, I won't hit him back but I will tell him not to try it again and prevent him from hitting me if he dares to try it. Somethings are not just right being an African lady or man.

You can't hit a human being and expect him not to retaliate!

Op, even though what your wife did was very wrong,
You shouldn't have filled for divorce,

Remember your mum was wrong, she shouldn't have slapped your wife. She should have allowed you two to solve your issue.

Your daughter should not suffer bcs of this issue.
Bring back your wife and let her apologise to your mom.

jakandeola:
na now I know u dont have sence and aint matured how dare u slap ur mom in law? dint u think is beta DAT u cry to hubby about wat his mum do so he will handle it and apologized to her. slapping ur mum in law is sucide dont even think about it. funmilayo ur a Yoruba girl yet u dissappoint me with dis ur answer

I like this man.
You're so matured

funmisticqueen:
so if I am your wife and my father slaps you,will you give him your other cheek? Slapping back was obviously self defense

Lol. Self defense against a parent in law is only necessitated in a life and death situation. If you're my wife and your father slaps me, I'll walk out of the house and expect you to caution your father otherwise you will bear the consequences.

teresafaith:
The foolish woman deserves more than the slap.

What even gave her the gut to slap the poor girl in the first place, I swear if I'm the girl I'll break her head and if her stupid son tries any rubbish, e go follow im mama chop.

Arrant nonsense

Mtcheewww!!

Your stupidity is it follow come, inherited or borrowed... :/
All this things u ve listed here, I can't wait to see ur daughter in-law do to u. Idiot �