Note that I am not the author: Thought it would be interesting to share and get some views. . . .crazy world we live in![i][/i]
"i know it's a bit of a heavy topic esp so late in the day, but it's bn bugging me all day. bd has cheated a few times, 3 that i know of, and each time things become sour and then promises to change and does for a while but then it happens with someone else and we've bn thru it 3 times alrdy and i really wonder if he can really truly honestly change? i doubt it. so y am i still with him? he's a good dad,totally hands on, great person and personality, i know he loves me to bits and spends all his time with me-leaves for work in the morning, gets back home straight from work and starts preparing supper etc and he showers me with love, kisses, affection. i don't know, sometimes i think mayb i'm asking too much of him and shud jst b satisfied with what i have, after all his cheating is basically confined to office hours so it's emails/sms's which he sometimes forgets to erase - but it's still cheating and i shudn't accept it rite? i just do not know what to do anymore. he's such a flirt and the thing is his charming, friendly personality always makes him an easy target for the ladies, so it's so easy for him. what do i do? sometimes i just feel like leaving him and moving on with my kids and then i get scared that i might meet someone worse than him? he's really great save for the flirtations really, he is the best, he spoils me rotten with massages,dinner dates, movie dates each atleast once a week and he's so good with our sons. why can't he just stop with the flirtations it's as if he's perpetually seeking something that is lacking in our relationship or me and even though i've told him that it hurts me he seems to stop but then resumes with someone else, he's got lots of female friends-oh the emails and sms's, it used to be worse cos they wud come in at nite as well so atlst now nothing comes in when he's at home anymore, and he's casual with his phone i can check it anytime i want, we are open like that, oh but it hurts to come accross these flirtatious sms's sometimes.oh i just don't know"

You are such a retard, did you miss the part where I say this is not my story. . . . . .otherwise you can cheat all you want, I would not notice at all!

I think she should focus more on his good side and forget about the flirtations, apparently she can't change that part of him.

SA Goddess:

Note that I am not the author:  Thought it would be interesting to share and get some views. . . .crazy world we live in!

"i know it's a bit of a heavy topic esp so late in the day, but it's bn bugging me all day. bd has cheated a few times, 3 that i know of, and each time things become sour and then promises to change and does for a while but then it happens with someone else and we've bn thru it 3 times alrdy and i really wonder if he can really truly honestly change? i doubt it. so y am i still with him? he's a good dad,totally hands on, great person and personality, i know he loves me to bits and spends all his time with me-leaves for work in the morning, gets back home straight from work and starts preparing supper etc and he showers me with love, kisses, affection. i don't know, sometimes i think mayb i'm asking too much of him and shud jst b satisfied with what i have, after all his cheating is basically confined to office hours so it's emails/sms's which he sometimes forgets to erase - but it's still cheating and i shudn't accept it rite? i just do not know what to do anymore. he's such a flirt and the thing is his charming, friendly personality always makes him an easy target for the ladies, so it's so easy for him. what do i do? sometimes i just feel like leaving him and moving on with my kids and then i get scared that i might meet someone worse than him? he's really great save for the flirtations really, he is the best, he spoils me rotten with massages,dinner dates, movie dates each atleast once a week and he's so good with our sons. why can't he just stop with the flirtations it's as if he's perpetually seeking something that is lacking in our relationship or me and even though i've told him that it hurts me he seems to stop but then resumes with someone else, he's got lots of female friends-oh the emails and sms's, it used to be worse cos they wud come in at nite as well so atlst now nothing comes in when he's at home anymore, and he's casual with his phone i can check it anytime i want, we are open like that, oh but it hurts to come accross these flirtatious sms's sometimes.oh i just don't know"

and de person involved can jump into the lagoon abi. what else does she wants at least the guy don try now!.
She better be contented with what she has else those daughter of Jezebels outside might teach her the lesson of her life in her hubby

Hmmm, this is an interesting post. SA Goddess, are these two people in question in an open relationship?

We are in SOuth Africa and we all know HIV/AIDS are serious issues, staying with him could kill her in the end and she won't get to see her boys grow up, all because of LOVE, whatever that is!

@ Inked-Nerd, NO hun, not in a open relationship, you should see the excuses the woman is making for the man, imagine women taking advantage of dude just because he is charming, so I asked her if he is not using his charm to lure the women into his den. . . . . . . . .she will be rudely awakened one day!

I dont want to comment yet for personal reason, but women most especially BLACK women should learn to take what ever MAN and LIFE throw at them with a smile that the only way a woman can survive.

SA Godess I cant believe u would stoop so low to allowing this fool even talk with u,

hes a retard~

U deserve someone better,someone more classy!!

I tink i know who~

@Topic:
Nice story!

190, forget the slowpoke. . . . . .

@ MoBO, WOWO dude, is that what you really believe? You sound like an abuser of NOTE, happy are those whose paths will never cross with yours!

story story story

life's a choice sooner that later she's gonna make one wether she likes it or not

She needs to leave him, he obviously is taking advantage of this woman. He wants to have his cake and eat it to.

I think it's quite sad.

She's has children for him, can she leave him .

He will never change, she may end up a nervous wreak.

He must have had these traits when they first started,why did she overlook them .

A guy like this is very easy to spot, they can be real babe magnets, if you can cope with it then fair play, but it's a tough path to walk.

Women really suffer

nothing is acceptable when it comes to cheating!

What does the woman want? Convenience or Love
Having it all can be a tall order dis days. If that's the only weakness he has then surely their are better ways of dealing with such.
They could both decide to have open relationships thereby no party feels cheated.
They could try counselling
They could move away from his familiar surroundings

Omolola1:

nothing is acceptable when it comes to cheating!

Open relationship? that would worsen things between them~

jay bee:

What does the woman want? Convenience or Love
Having it all can be a tall order dis days. If that's the only weakness he has then surely their are better ways of dealing with such.
They could both decide to have open relationships thereby no party feels cheated.
They could try counselling
They could move away from his familiar surroundings

Could be the way to go but, how many people can really cope with that .

I bet you a dollar if she availed herself of the OPEN RELATIONSHIP the guy would scream blue murder.

Why is she complaining? She is cos the dude is a serial cheat and i bet if she plays him at his own game then he had come back to his right senses.
Dude is never going to stop as long as the woman worryingly continues taking it cos of the kids.
What happens when the children grows older, able to fend for themselves and he his still a serial cheat? She becomes miserable old hag.

Life is too sweet for one person to make the other person's life miserable. Take control of your life/destiny. It works all the time

madlady:

Could be the way to go but, how many people can really cope with that .

I bet you a dollar if she availed herself of the OPEN RELATIONSHIP the guy would scream blue murder.

Well that's the thing. Men do it but frown upon it when cheated upon. So play us at our own game and see how it goes.
Forget about morality as it's your happiness that matters.
If you don't want to go via that route then just sit and accept whatever comes your way. I hear prayers can remotely work as well but then again can prayers heal the past?

Initially I would say, Just cheat back on the guy, but maybe she is not like that, so why disgrace herself and be something she is not.

Simply she is incompatible. She has two options:

1. Accept that he is a cheater and insist that he wears condoms.

2. Move on and find someone else who shares her views of monogamy.

jay bee:

Well that's the thing. Men do it but frown upon it when cheated upon. So play us at our own game and see how it goes.
Forget about morality as it's your happiness that matters.
If you don't want to go via that route then just sit and accept whatever comes your way.
I hear prayers can remotely work as well but then again can prayers heal the past?

That's a joke right .

No I could not sleep with 2  guys at the same time. It's not about morality but self-respect.

jaybee, what you are saying nao is if a guy cheats, the lady should cheat on him as well~

hmmmn~

Omolola1:

Open relationship? that would worsen things between them~

Not necessarily, if they are both mature [in this case they're not] and consenting adults, then it could work. Neither one of them seems to demonstrate any sign of maturity. The man is playing her and she's going along with it. That to me is a lack of maturity on both their parts.

Can you pray for a nympho or serial cheat to change?
Last time i checked, changes occurs from within when the party in question is ready to accept change. ain't no miracle happening. It's just like praying for a drunk to forget the bottle when that bottle is all that makes 'em happy


That's the whole point hun. Her best bet is to leave but what do u tell a woman that has decided to stay with someone that has cheated 3 times?

Some women have dignity and aren't afraid of going it alone cos of self respect whilst others are afraid of the unknown cos the present is convenient even if they are dying within

Omolola1:

jaybee, what you are saying nao is if a guy cheats, the lady should cheat on him as well~

Yes and NO
If a guy cheats and the lady seats and accepts the trash then in ma books it's acceptable for her to cheat as well.
no point feeling sorry for yaself if you can't dust ur bag and move the heck on if u feel ur being wronged in any way.
We are in the 21st century for crying out loud where women go it alone. We have a female chancellor in Germany and many more powerful women in the world so no point sitting back and hoping for the best.

i guess she hasnt left the man because of the children she has for him~

Omolola1:

jaybee, what you are saying nao is if a guy cheats, the lady should cheat on him as well~

jay would never say smtin like dat~

That's not an excuse hun. . What happens when it's too late for her to leave?
Listen i know what i'm saying cos i'm speaking from personal experience. My mum never stayed when ma dad cheated. She left and brought up all the kids by herself. I can boldly say i turned out good.
Initial step is the most difficult one but once it's done then everything becomes easier as you get used to him not being there

hmmmn! but it doesnt work 4 evry1. personally though, i wont stay~