very senseless. And i have tried to see it from every angle and it is baseless.
it is either you have a male or a female child.
Female children keep the marriage of their folks in place.
A male child won't even care if the mom and dad are fighting., he is just going to be drooling but if it is the female child, she is going to be crying and trying to make sure the folks are intact.
I have witnessed this a number of times. i am close to my mom and my sister is close to my dad and thats the way it has been.
if you have daughters( they are so wonderful) beautiful and you have less headaches.

If I could take this research as something, i would say the reverse is the case. I am a man and i know that men love their daughters more than their sons. Even in Nigeria, men are always looking for boys just for male ego, inheritance and such flimsy excuses but the truth is that the daughters take care of the home more than the sons.

where will the world be without gals?    

dayokanu:

What about Western men that the survey was all about? Did you question that the survey took place at all or that the researchers are Nigerian men disguising as Whites?

^^here's a hint:

3 million records (doubtful) of which demographic? Immigrants?

dayokanu:

What about Western men that the survey was all about? Did you question that the survey took place at all or that the researchers are Nigerian men disguising as Whites?

But the result of the survey seems to suggest that other races share the African man mindset.

arabs, indians/pakistanis are all examples of races which share the african male mindset on this matter.

What an odd assemblage of publicity-seeking, chauvinistic, publicity-starved, death-forsaked, shameless 'researchers' exhibiting the putrid product of idleness and misplaced priority. Pray, how is this gonna help the world. So we should now see girls as evil? Crap!

Black women must not led us to our doom.

hmph.

anyway!!!!

look on the bright side

having more boys and less girls means more dan daudas in the long run.

so rejoice all you misogynists. Your bats will thank you later

as long as i hav a male child im satisfied.Some1 to carry my name.I do also luff 2 av a fem child. But male in the order of preference

George_D:

where will the world be without gals?    

who be this ashawo?

Exactly one of the things that makes me different from other men/African's I guess, A child is awesome and amazing be it male or female give em both the same quality education, my sister's are living example of the women that have got the same potential of men.

We know both child is awesome but we cannot just pretend to be ignorant of the importance of the male child in the family.the op is 100% right about the research.

The matter of male child carrying the family name was relevant in the dark ages. When only men could work due to the strenuous nature of the jobs. And that continued till the industrial age where heavy machineries and the mines provided the jobs. These days where the good jobs are done with brains renders that totally irrelevant. Who cares if the child is a male or female. What matters is the quality of parenting, guidance and education as well as achievements. Do u think Serena and Venus Williams' father cares a hoot about their gender? Would u choose to have an "heir" even if he is a ganja smoking i d i o t ? And what silly inheritance are we talking about here? The small money left in the bank? Only weak men are afraid of not leaving a male child cos that is the only way their name can continue.
Do u think Clinton or Obama give a hoot about not having sons? Their names would continue forever. And gone are the days when girls couldn't aspire to great heights. For me, my greatest legacy would be a good name, achievements and lives touched. Not children sired by my loins. They will be my achievements too but the gender matters not to me.
By the way; I have a gorgeous girl who gives me joy. If she is the only child I will ever have, I will always bless God for the privilege.

I wonder why all the 'wahala' about this research? The outcome said it increases by 5%!

What this means is that 90% of the time, it doesn't matter. Is that too hard to understand?
Would you guys have quarreled at a research that says alcohols drinking increases the chance of having an accident by 5% by quoting all your buddies that have been drunk yet successfully drove home?

Abeg, lets learn to understand the essence and basis of research and the meaning of its outcome rather than emotional feelings.

BTW, how many times have you heard of a man leave a woman for having too many boys?

if you are not yet married make sure you settle this matter in you subconcious mind so that you
won't struggle with it in the nearest future.you are what you accept! if you accept this research
as it is may you not live with unecessary fear for the rest of your life.Give a girl child good education
and moral upbringing and she will be the envy of the world!

Some of you are just trying to deny the obvious? Inasmuch as there will be deviations, the research is somewhat accurate. Look around you (office, church, neighbourhood, family etc) how many marriages are under pressure because of male child(ren). Truth is that a woman with 2 or 3 sons is not usually under the same kind of pressure that her counterpart with 2 or 3 daughters will be. why is that? call it african mentality or what you will. Chances are that even the extended family will come to the rescue of marriages with sons more than they will if the reverse were to be the case.

Have you ever heard that a man was 'forced' to take another wife because his wife couldn't give him a daughter but cases of the reverse abound, you don't need to look far. When you hear most men talk about their boys, there is this sense of 'I have to be there for them because they look up to me' and 'I also need to put my stamp of authority over them before they get out of hands'

Goodyness:

Some of you are just trying to deny the obvious? Inasmuch as there will be deviations, the research is somewhat accurate. [b]Look around you (office, church, neighbourhood, family etc) how many marriages are under pressure because of male child(ren). Truth is that a woman with 2 or 3 sons is not usually under the same kind of pressure that her counterpart with 2 or 3 daughters will be. why is that? [/b]call it african mentality or what you will. Chances are that even the extended family will come to the rescue of marriages with sons more than they will if the reverse were to be the case.

Have you ever heard that a man was 'forced' to take another wife because his wife couldn't give him a daughter but cases of the reverse abound, you don't need to look far. When you hear most men talk about their boys, there is this sense of 'I have to be there for them because they look up to me' and 'I also need to put my stamp of authority over them before they get out of hands'

ORO [word]

hayo:

[b]The matter of male child carrying the family name was relevant in the dark ages. [/b]When only men could work due to the strenuous nature of the jobs. And that continued till the industrial age where heavy machineries and the mines provided the jobs. These days where the good jobs are done with brains renders that totally irrelevant. Who cares if the child is a male or female. What matters is the quality of parenting, guidance and education as well as achievements. Do u think Serena and Venus Williams' father cares a hoot about their gender? Would u choose to have an "heir" even if he is a ganja smoking i d i o t ? And what silly inheritance are we talking about here? The small money left in the bank? Only weak men are afraid of not leaving a male child cos that is the only way their name can continue.
Do u think Clinton or Obama give a hoot about not having sons? Their names would continue forever. And gone are the days when girls couldn't aspire to great heights. For me, my greatest legacy would be a good name, achievements and lives touched. Not children sired by my loins. They will be my achievements too but the gender matters not to me.
By the way; I have a gorgeous girl who gives me joy. If she is the only child I will ever have, I will always bless God for the privilege.

bros ye, it will always be as relevant as your wife taking your surname instead of the opposite. always.

The fact is that parents look forward to their kids being like them.

A man would love to have a son who would grow up to be like him, In him you would see a younger you.

If the man has a business, he looks forward to his son taking over his business. With daughters they might get married and not even live in the same Geographical location.

If you have a biz and your daughter was running it, when she gets married to a guy, In most cases the groom would decide where they would live and the daughter would have to move in with her husband.

Another point, female kids are usually more caring to the parents and a son might be carefree

dayokanu:

The fact is that parents look forward to their kids being like them.

A man would love to have a son who would grow up to be like him, In him you would see a younger you.

If the man has a business, he looks forward to his son taking over his business. With daughters they might get married and not even live in the same Geographical location.

If you have a biz and your daughter was running it, when she gets married to a guy, In most cases the groom would decide where they would live and the daughter would have to move in with her husband.

Another point, female kids are usually more caring to the parents and a son might be carefree

well said. why do you think wealthy europeans MAKE their future sons in law sign prenuptial agreements before marrying? this is to avoid a guy marrying the heir of a dynasty and pissing it all away[assuming the girl is the only child]. also it isnt unheard of for future sons in law to agree compound surnames and the kids to still bear their grandfather's name. this is particularly true of wealthy families. still very 2010, and very european/american

As much as I don't want to be seen as someone that does not like girls as children, It is very clear that Africans, Asians and Arabs desire to have male children as their offspring. I've got an Arab guy as a friend and he dotes so much on his son whom he had with a White British lady. They are divorced now and this Algerian guy is presently married to a woman from his country. They have a daughter but my friend is fond of his son who looks just like him. He takes him out and proudly shows him off to his friends at events. His Algerian wife keeps complaining that my friend does not care for her and his daughter as much as he dotes on his only son from another woman

One of my uncles had 4 girls as children and he kept looking for a son. When his wife could not give him a male child, he went out to look for a young girl in order to get what he desired. The girl he married was younger than his first daughter. Anyway, the girl also delivered a baby girl for my uncle. I've not seen my uncle for some time now and I feel he is still looking for a Son.  I don't mind having daughters but I must have a son I will be proud of .  Cheers.


www.vibes-extra..com

Would u choose to have an "heir" even if he is a ganja smoking i d i o t ? And what silly inheritance are we talking about here? The small money left in the bank?

thank you very much.

even if the inheritance is ₦1000, people can still kill each other over it anyway.

ladej:

well said. why do you think wealthy europeans MAKE their future sons in law sign prenuptial agreements before marrying? this is to avoid a guy marrying the heir of a dynasty and pissing it all away[assuming the girl is the only child]. also it isnt unheard of for future sons in law to agree compound surnames and the kids to still bear their grandfather's name. this is particularly true of wealthy families. still very 2010, and very european/american

signing of prenup is now included in this fantasy?

so wealthy males do not ask their fiancees to sign prenups or what are you saying.

dayokanu:

The fact is that parents look forward to their kids being like them.

A man would love to have a son who would grow up to be like him, In him you would see a younger you.

If the man has a business, he looks forward to his son taking over his business. With daughters they might get married and not even live in the same Geographical location.

If you have a biz and your daughter was running it, when she gets married to a guy, In most cases the groom would decide where they would live and the daughter would have to move in with her husband.

Another point, female kids are usually more caring to the parents and a son might be carefree

nigerian/african concerns.

BTW, how many times have you heard of a man leave a woman for having too many boys?

gosh, i cant believe the amount of ignorance on this thread.

o ma se o. 


so it's children now that are the reasons for divorce, not anybody's deeds or misdeeds. I just gave the example of mel gibson, which you chose to ignore.

[s]some of you shouldnt be surprised when your women turn to juju to hold you. Obviously, you leave them no other choice. Many of you end up with ogbontiras like yourselves anyway.[/s]

so, all the divorces you know of, are solely from families with girls.

it's very annoying the way most black and nigerian guys just jump at any thread denigrating women. No be woman born una? If they tell you to slow your roll on the bosom gazing circuit and tata loving, una go say it cant be done. See all your lives now?

It is a pity that all this talk is going on.
u guys should know that u are responsible for the sex of ur kids.
If it is a boy its u and a girl u of course.
All this talk abt the woman being under pressure has no meaning to me.
Unfortunately it is africa and anything is the woman.U can divorce as much as 10 women but until u produce that male factor u will keep having girls.The earlier u accept that the better.If u so desire a son give the woman a son and stop telling us how impt it is. If u cant just accept thats the best u can do.

Maybe women should start putting pressure on guys for a male child,because it is all their fault.Imagine a woman that so desires a boy and some yeye guy cant give her a baby boy and some people are talking abt the woman being under pressure,is it her fault?the guy shoud hide his face in shame and not disturb the poor woman.

^^^

Uche did you read the initial post?

The survey was carried out by Americans in America on Americans So this has nothing to do with Africa

^^what's your reason for assuming the researchers are american?

the write up has foreigner and/or foreign backing written all over it.

2. they probably based their skewed research on immigrant populations.




try to understand americans better. After all you live among them.

The researchers are Economists Gordon Dahl (University of Rochester) and Enrico Moretti (UCLA) these are caucasian sounding names

the write up has foreigner and/or foreign backing written all over it.

2. they probably based their skewed research on immigrant populations.

Evidence that support your opinion that it has foreigner written all over it.

And how do you know its skewed on immigrant population

dayokanu:

The researchers are Economists Gordon Dahl (University of Rochester) and Enrico Moretti (UCLA) these are caucasian sounding names

that doesnt show there's no foreign backing involved. Neither does it prove they're originally american. Caucasian applies to other countries besides the US.

dayokanu:

Evidence that support your opinion that it has foreigner written all over it.

And how do you know its skewed on immigrant population

because the write up clearly expresses foreign views.

the bias is quite obvious- you'd like us to think boys are more important than girls. And want women to start panicking, thinking the survival of their marriage depends on producing male children.

This type of mentality is more prevalent in certain parts of the world where it's culturally entrenched, and where many men consider not having boys as a fate worse than death.


anyway, supremacists also support the subjugation of women, so maybe you should proceed from there.

IF ALL CHILD ARE EQUAL GOD HIMSELF COULD HAVE CREATED THEM AT THE SAME TIME,BUT THE FACT THAT BOY OR MEN ARE SUPERIOR TO GIRL OR WOMEN MAKES GOD TO FIRST CREATE ADAM BEFORE EVE. every other things is baseless as none of you can change what GOD himself has made under the SUN.

Even the Holy scriptures said that the essence of marriage is to have a SON without which that marriage is a total failure.people's problem is that they do not study their respective scriptures yet they claim to be christians or muslims

[b][size=18pt]Well, men still lack the understanding that, 'WHATEVER THEY GIVE THE BANKER TO KEEP, THE BANKER RETURNS BACK TO THEM'. Some are lucky to even have children and should always be grateful to God for his kindness and gifts but, are they? 

I can appreciate all their reasons for a son and, it's not their fault because, they are society's constructs (societal stigmatisation) however, we all know how education can change ideas given time, these entrenched ideas will be history particularly, in the majority world just as it is now, in the minority world. 

Remember, it was like that all over the world but things have changed now especially in the West.  That's no longer important since they realise a daughter could do as much and in many ways, more than a son - it no longer matters to them.

For example, at one point in history, there were no 'Heirs' to sit on the British throne and common sense then dictated they work with what they had (our present Queen and her sister) and they did thus, the enthronement of 'Queen Elisabeth II' and now, there are heirs everywhere - how about that   You see, it no longer matters, does it

Thus, society can change their ideas any time and attach values and importance to things when it wants.  So, if the minority world could change their values and ideas in these areas, the same will one day apply, to majority world's, societal mentality of having a son.  Let's watch this space!

Even in our culture, its not new and our history has shown that, in the past, families without a son had always kept a daughter to produce an 'heir' and they succeeded therefore, what's the heck about this son, son, son and, soooooooooon of a thing that our fore fathers survived not having and we could not survive now. Tell us and let's hear it!!!

Our history is there to throw light in to this argument.  Many part of Nigeria did it and are still doing it, Igbos in particular! Also, even in the Biblical times - Lot's daughters had to sleep with their father to produce an heir and they succeeded and God did not count it as sin to them because, there weren't enough people in the world at that time, remember! (Genesis Chpt.19 v. 33 - 38).

Also, people should understand that these so called researchers have their own agenda/issues and can manipulate findings to their own advantage.  

Remember, some are also funded or sponsored by organisations with agenda and vested interest in the research thus, have the power to determine how research is conducted e.g how data is collected (i.e. they could choose to focus on families in dare need of a son - ), processed and results/findings disseminated and thus, the findings we are all here arguing about.  

It's all constructed to suit a particular group (stir up issues in peoples minds). So people, before you argue over these findings, think!!!

Therefore, the message here is, no matter what is given to you - work with it for there is blessing in it and don't listen to society.  We have no right to pick and choose besides, the giver has the power to 'forfeit', 'withhold' or withdraw' completely his gifts any time he pleases - never you forget that!!! And for couples, please ignore society and be grateful with what you have, for it is a big blessing![/size][/b]

HMMM, SO MEN STICK AROUND IF THEY HAVE BOYS, THEREFOOORE, MEN ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR DIVORCE , , BUT WAIT A MINUTE WHEN PARENTS OR THE MAN IS OLD WHO TAKES CARE OF THE THEM BEST SON OR DAUGHTER?

IF YOU ARE A MAN AND YOU HAVE ONLY SONS , I BET YOU , YOUR OLD AGE WILL BE BORING AND SCARY. MALE CHILDREN CARE LESS FOR THEIR PARENTS.

MAY THE SURVEY SHOULD TALK ABOUT THIS TOO.