seeker:

I'm not worried about these people the OP is talking about, one bit. They're not even up to 1% of the population. They are insignificant. The one's that concern me are the millions upon millions who will never get the chance to get a proper education, good health and shelter. Those who can only dream of 200,000 in a year for the whole family. Those for whom being yahoo yahoo, kidnappers, robbers and assorted area boys is a real option. If they're not sorted out, they'll be the ruin of this country. The insignificant band of spoilt brats, I don't care about and they don't count (at least statistically)

They are much less than 1% to be honest. But they are very privileged and pampered even compared to their counterparts in Western countries. That may account for the nasty and snide remarks made against them.

But, as you say, Nigeria has much more serious issues to worry about.

Simply put " you grow up quick when you grow up poor"

logica abeg eat some humble pie. as i said earlier while it appears that Nigerian youths are lazy (or not trying enough) the real fact is that the environment's different. Well said beecrofty. Youths keeps striving we'll get there.

Quote from: logica on Yesterday at 08:55:41 AM

Oh by the way, the person that said something about kids in Nigeria only having degrading jobs available, fact is kids in the US will take what you call "degrading". That is the difference.

Quote from: beecrofty on Yesterday at 03:03:45 PM »

the jobs regarded as degrading are jobs that don't pay enough to even cater for your daily needs, please don't compare working at McDonalds with working at Mr Biggs, abi udondeymadt ni? when u work at Mc, u get about lets say 2dollars an hour, so $2 X 10hours a day = $20(N3000), that is how much you get a month if you work at Mr Biggs my friend, so wat the bleep do you mean by that statement up there

Good point. I agree with somethings said, but not all. Like the issue of trying to compete with Paris Hilton. I have a wealthy father, but one thing which I don't really used to like about him, was that he did not give me all I wanted. I was trained to be an ordinary person without excessive priveledge of the super rich. But anyway, that could be paying off, now I do some work that earn what will make me comfortable. I did not get the jobs through my dad's influences, but because of God, and my constancy to hardwork and becoming successful.

i wonda if there are still middle class in Naija, d middle class i knew back den in mid 80's could afford to buy new range rovers and not tokunbo's the middle class i knew back then could afford to buy new mercedes benz and not tokunbos
your papa/mama bought a tokunbo range/mercedes and u dey call am middle class?

The quality of parenting directly relates with the quality of the next generation no matter what class you are. I think parents should get off their hands and start taking proper care of their kids rather than use time, money, class or creed as excuses.

The truth is parenting involves a constant battle with societal elements which can be overwhelming if the parents are lean upstairs. In such a case it may be better to send them out quickly so the society improves them, but if you have the right values to teach them, if you are a great motivator, a great provider then you MUST protect them from the heat outside.

Nigeria currently needs more sensible parenting for longer to break out of the social malaise we find ourselves locked in and when you look to the so-called society - police for virtue, politicians for hardwork, teachers for knowledge and nairaland for motivation  boy I rather keep my assets.

you are all missing the point of this , a man that has set certain standards for his kids has to maintain those standards until the children get upto that level. U cant send a kid to st saviours, then lekki british and send him to LSE( london school of economics) only to bring him back to Nigeria and tell him fend for himself. He would join yahoo boys in a cyber cafe , it only makes sense that the money the 200k the kid is being given is only keeping him from getting to that point of desperation that he would do anything embarassing to his family. A lot of you are talking with bitterness cos u do not see the point, but my suggestions for any parents like this is start him on 200K and then let him know that this pocket money will reduce in fixed terms i.e in 6 months 150k, 1 year 100k and then ud see the kid hasten up to get that job.

hehehehe, funny thread.

Why is the person that wrote the article complaining? There are spoilt rich kids everywhere. George W. Bush was no Mensa candidate, yet he became the 43rd (am I right?) US president. I'd rather save my breath and keep my advice for the lower-middle class kids that really need it. That kinda article is for the upper middle classes, and upper classes.

As a matter of fact if I was to write this I could not have done it better.
Middle class, higher class or over class I see this problem everywhere.
A lady that works for me and takes home N10,000 bought her son a bicycle of N3 000.
I pay his fees so he can get private education and instead of working to school she gives him money for okada (school is a mile away) as much as you want the best for your kind.
I believe the best is allowing them to stand on their own.
My parents helped us greatly with best education in the Country and independence however we had maids all through and today I live in a place where I cannot afford a maid and hate domestic work so have to hire someone twice a week to sort things out.I am begining to learn what I should have learnt at home.
The major point is an 18 year old is an adult and can take decisions himself if you have done a good job. Making mistakes and getting up is a great lesson.

The intent is nice, but it doesn't really reflect the reality on the ground. Plus, the OP is generalizing in the write-up.

There are lots of children of wealthy people in Nigeria that are doing really well. Whatever perks they've enjoyed are not any different from any of the so-called 'trust fund babies' in the US. I can't imagine for example that I send my children to school in the US or UK and expect them to fend for themselves. They would probably get into trouble, do drugs and whatnot. I would at least provide the basic necessities to cover living expenses and a little pocket money. The Nigerians I know who are children of well-to-do people do well generally, whether here or abroad. Maybe the ones whose parents looted the treasury or something sha. Those ones are usually upstart money-miss-roads anyway, and don't have any serious values to pass on to their kids. But the responsible ones whose parents were either public or private sector people, or entrepreneurs, generally come good.

You wouldn't expect Bill Gates' kids to be flipping burgers to pay their way through college, would you? Does that make Gates an irresponsible parent?

I read a reply on the above topic with keen interest and wish that others may read what my friend has as his view.

Dear All,

I have read with chagrin, an email being circulated amongst the Nigerian people, in a manner that seems that everyone has accepted its content, without reasoning out the feasibility of the central message within the Nigerian scene. For the avoidance of doubt, the email in reference is titled “AN OPEN LETTER TO NIGERIAN PARENTS”. I would want to draw the attention of Nigerians to some salient issues raised in that email, perhaps, section by section, if not paragraph by paragraph. I have read with chagrin, this email being circulated amongst the Nigerian people, in a manner that seems that everyone has accepted its content, without reasoning out the feasibility of the central message within the Nigerian scene. I would want to draw the attention of Nigerians to some salient issues raised in that email, perhaps, section by section, if not paragraph by paragraph.

It started by referring to the Nigerian child or youth as an indolent being. Am sure this is what is meant by the author of that email when he wrote “If we want our children to bring about the desired change we have been praying for on behalf of our dear country, then please, please let’s begin now and teach them to work hard, ”. Am at a loss here as to why the author has chosen to refer to struggling and hard working Nigerians as sloths. I took a survey amongst cell phone recharge card hawkers in Wuse Zone 4 recently and the findings were startling. About 61% of these Nigerian youths are University graduates, who have found no jobs upon graduation, but have decided that rather than remain idle, they must struggle until they find their dream jobs, not wanting to stay in the comfort of their parents homes or tired of being cared for by parents. They bury their pride and bluff shame to do any menial job, at least to survive and stay on. Yet, the writer of the email never sees this as an aberration, rather he chose to refer to Nigerians as otiose persons, who love to be spoon-fed. I sigh at this!

The email author moved on to talk about the age of adulthood in the UK when he wrote “At age 18 years, a typical young adult in the UK leaves the clutches of his/her parents for the University, chances are, that’s the last time those parents will ever play “landlord” to their son or daughter except of course the occasional home visits during the academic year.

At 21 years and above or below, the now fully grown and independent minded adult graduates from University, searches for employment, gets a job and shares a flat with other young people on a journey into becoming fully fledged adults.” Apparently, the author is not in touch with reality on ground in Nigeria. May I draw his attention to the fact that the average age of graduation in Nigeria as at today is 25 years. At this age, according to the email author, the UK graduate is already a fully fledged adult. He must understand that this is not the case in Nigeria, where at that age, circumstances have made the average Nigerian youth an ADULT BABY, whether a graduate or still a student.

He moved on in his email to talk about his education as “a UK trained Recruitment Consultant” and according to him, he was driven to school in cars and was barred from taking a part-time job while in school for A-level studies. What a funny point of contradiction. This is another sure pointer to the fact that the email writer has warped idea of the Nigerian situation. Parents know a first degree in Nigeria no longer fetches a graduate a decent, paying job, especially in an environment where merit is no longer honoured, yet the email writer dared to compare Nigeria and the UK environment where he (the email writer) could have got a part-time job, if he had not been barred, that would have enabled him save some money, even as an A-level student (not a graduate!). May I inform this email writer that there are PhD holders in Nigeria who merely survive by writing proposals for privileged Recruitment Consultants like you, unable to find jobs, even with their PhD's. That the email writer was born with a silver spoon in his mouth should not make him insult the Nigerian struggling poor. He never told us who his parents are that took him to the UK at a tender age. He never mention what type or kind of business/job he did for him to have saved enough money to buy himself a 3-bedroom apartment in the UK at the age of 25. I think this Recruitment Consultant should rather be grateful to God for HIS mercies and favours upon his life rather than arrogate his seeming success to his “HARD WORK”.

He talked about parents who are able to give two hundred and fifty thousand naira or more to their children as pocket money per month. This tells you the class that this email writer belongs to and he is addressing in his email. I have had to sell yam and garri in the market during my undergraduate days. I served as mason helper on many occasions and at one time doubled as a R&A mechanic apprentice as well as a house-help, just to ensure I weathered the storm. This am sure is the story of most Nigerian graduates and undergraduates on the average today. I therefore strongly feel that this email is misdirected. It is supposed to be for the class of the writer, a meager 2% of the Nigerian population, and not the average Nigerian parent.

Mr email writer Nigeria needs prayers, to be delivered from the hands of people like you, who are not in touch with reality. Permit me to tell you a story. In 2003, Nigeria was the host of the All Africa Games code named COJA. In the build up to the games, COJA announced that it needed volunteers to serve during the games. The major qualification as set by COJA for the Volunteers was that they must be Government workers who expect nothing to be paid to them at the end of the service. I was already a Federal government worker then, and was on a postgraduate programme. I applied for the scheme and carefully followed up till the names of the selected volunteers were eventually released. My name as well as those of many graduates who were also Government workers did not make the list. The list was rather a collection of young girls, some of whom were still in secondary schools and some old men who were already directors in parastatals, and were well connected. I asked myself then as I still ponder now, If am not qualified for a volunteer service scheme for my nation even as a Masters degree holder, what will I be worth doing for Nigeria?

I strongly feel that the gradual failure of the Nigerian state should be blamed on your type of myopic, unrealistic and non-pragmatic views about the Nigerian problem. Nigerians are a hard working people; in fact, they work harder than many of the nationalities I have come across in my life. The average Nigerian parents should be spared of the consequences of the misdeeds of the privileged 2% of the country's population. Nigeria can only get better if and only if this privileged 2% agrees that it has failed the majority of Nigerians. Your campaign in your email agree with the re-branding campaign agenda that were embarked upon only very recently by the Nigeria Government. As good as they were, we are yet to see and may never see the positive results of the campaign, as the campaign was misdirected, grossly failing to address the root-cause of the problems we are seeing today. Loyalty is earned. Let the privileged 2% of the Nigerian population who have misdirected the affairs of the nation and have plunged Nigerians into this unfortunate state of misery wake up. The average Nigeria parent is long awake. We should remember that many years back King Solomon wrote: “He that being often reproved, hardeneth his heart shall suddenly be destroyed and that without remedy” (Proverbs 29:1).


Ugheoke Benjamin Iyenagbe,
Mechanical Engineering Department,
Universiti Teknologi PETRONAS,
Bandar Seri Iskandar, 31750 Tronoh, Perak,
Malaysia.

I just read the replies from the first page and I do agree that this beautiful write up doesn't concern the middle class.
Who can afford special centre for their kids?
Who can afford to pay 600k & above for choice admissions?
Who can make money available for sorting lecturers? The middle do all these and these are the practices that produce unskilled and unintelligence deficient graduates. The script is on point

Rotimi A: To the poster.

I think you have made some unfair comparisons between our society and that of the UK. In the UK an 18 year old can get a job as a school leaver and earn money which can make him or her become financially independent from his or her parents. The same cannot be said of Nigeria whereby it is an upheaval task for a graduate to get a job not talk of now just having a WAEC certificate which most employers will glady snub any day.

I'm sure if you did a survey of youths in Nigeria you will find that most will rather not depend on their parents for money but given the rate of high umemployment in the country the reality is different. Also you made a comment that you were able to save money whilst staying at your parents house in London and buy your flat at the age of 25. I am sure this was when the economy was still buoyant in the UK and people could get good jobs easily after leaving school.

The problem isn't with parents helping out their kids rather the problem lies within our society where graduates capable of working are not giving jobs on merit but instead jobs are offered to those who have the right connections in certain places.

I totally agree with you my friend.The issue is that the nigerian social environment makes being independent as a youth a very RISKY AND DIFFICULT VENTURE.