Are you struggling over and over with bad relationships? Are you unhappy because you are wasting time on all these losers and wonder if you will ever find the right one? Don’t give up! There are a lot of lessons to be learned from bad relationships, lessons that will set you up for success when you find the right person. What kind of lessons? Let me tell you…
1. WHAT RED FLAGS LOOK LIKE.
If you are not familiar with the term “red flags,” let me explain. Red flags are signals that there is something bad ahead. Sometimes they are clear and sometimes they are not. Oftentimes we ignore them. And when we do, disasters happen. What might a red flag look like? Some are subtle. Perhaps he talks about his ex a lot, or he has a bad relationship with his mother. Perhaps he hasn’t been able to hold down a job. Perhaps he refuses to talk about anything difficult. Some are more obvious. Perhaps he states that he doesn’t want a serious relationship. Perhaps he tells you that that male friend of yours has to go. The thing about red flags is that often we see them and ignore them or justify them away. Hopefully bad relationships will help you to recognize that those red flags can be accurate and that, if you had only paid attention to them in the beginning, you could have spared yourself a whole lot of pain.
2. WHAT NOT TO DO.
One lesson you can learn from bad relationships is what NOT to do next time. Many of us have behaviors that we repeat in every relationship, and many of us are in serial bad relationships because of it. Many people tend to personalize things that happen in a relationship. If our significant other comes home late, it’s because they don’t love us. If they don’t put away their dirty laundry, they don’t respect us. If they forget our birthday, it’s because we just aren’t important to them. And while in some cases these things might be true, more often than not things that people do have nothing to do with the other person — they have to do with misjudgment and neglect. So, don’t take things personally — it’s not all about you. Another thing that people tend to do in bad relationships is being passive aggressive and antagonizing. Instead of confronting an issue head on, many of us make snide comments on the side, hoping our person will hear our dissatisfaction and act on it. Furthermore, we continue to harp on an issue to the point that our partner no longer cares about what our concerns are. These are just two behaviors that derail many relationships. There are others. Take a good hard look at what your role is in this relationship — bad relationships rarely happen because of one person’s behavior. Figure out what yours are and make note.
3. THAT ENABLING IS NOT SUPPORTING.
Have you ever been in a relationship that was struggling and you tried to save it by being supportive? Many of us believe that if we can just support our person, the relationship will hold. If we are patient while our partners work late hours or hold their hands when they feel insecure AGAIN about something that happened at the gym or look the other way when they have that third vodka after dinner, we believe that they will notice us and stay in love with us. That maybe their troubling behaviors will change. Unfortunately, this “supporting” is really more “enabling,” and enabling is not good in any relationship. If you continue to look the other way when your partner gets drunk or ignores you because of work or yells at you because of their own insecurities, you are telling your partner that their behaviors are okay. And if your partners think their behaviors are okay, they will never change. If your partner has behaviors that make you unhappy, stop supporting them. Either speak up about them or walk.
4. WHAT TRAITS YOU DO WANT IN A PARTNER.
One of the clearest lessons to learn in bad relationships is what it really is that you want in a partner. Even as we hold on to bad partners, we do start to see very clearly their shortcomings and we can therefore get a sense of what we ideally would want if we were in charge of the world. I had a guy who I loved but who was desperately insecure, who wanted to please everyone, who had a quick temper, who lived with a ton of fear and who was in and out of jobs. I loved him but I was suffering. When I finally broke free of that relationship I set out looking for a guy who knew who he was, who was patient and kind and steady. I was very clear about that and did ultimately find what I was seeking. So, what do you want in a partner? Make a list. Write it down. Refer to it often.
5. THAT LETTING GO IS NOT GIVING UP.
I can’t tell you how many of my clients who are struggling with letting go of love in bad relationships tell me that they aren’t walking away because they don’t want to give up. That they aren’t quitters. And I always tell them the same thing – that there are two people in a relationship and that as long as you are the only one making the effort, or that the efforts you both are making aren’t working, then it’s not a matter of giving up. You can only control your own efforts – only you can finish that marathon – but you can’t control someone else. It’s not giving up if your partner isn’t giving their all as well. So, if you are struggling with “giving up,” don’t! Know that you can let go of a love that isn’t serving you and move on with your head held high, knowing that you did your best.

READ MORE >>> https://www.notjustng.net/ng/lifestyles/7-things-youll-learn-when-youre-in-a-bad-relationship/

Greetings dear nairalanders. don't wish to disturb anyone with my personal struggles, but am seriously sinking deeper into depression. am tired, I have lost hope and interest in everything. am speaking up because I have explored all legal options available and yet no way out.
I'm in my final year, and am unable to raise and pay my school fees (48, 500), exams are starting by the middle of the month and we have been giving the grace of June 12 as the deadline, I can't concentrate in school anymore, my project is hanging due to the huge weight of my school fees on my mind and lack of funds.
I am self sponsored and I have been able to push through since 2015 with serious help from people, but due to the economic situation of the country especially kogi state, help is no longer coming, which is understandable because they have family to take care of among other responsibilities.
dear nairalanders please come to my rescue, I want to graduate by November. 0759367803 access bank.
eneojoedu @gmail.com. you can ask questions to verify my authenticity , I don't mind giving my mom's contact too. God bless as u save a soul.