By Anani Sunday

During my courtship days with my wife, we had some frank moments. They were moments of truth (MOT). They were times we had some serious discussions pertaining to our future together. As Mute Efe (Author of Get Naked Before You Get Naked) puts it, they were times we got naked before we got naked. They were moments of hard truths. She would ask questions upon questions and it was my responsibility to answer her convincingly. She needed assurance that certain things will never happen. She needed to know my conviction on in-law relationship, family finance, care for our aged parents, housemaid, etc., and what I will do if certain things happen. Whenever we ended such tough discussions, we didn't have the strength to say we loved each other. Those weren't times to profess love; they were times to reflect. We ended those long telephone calls as if we just began a fight. The MOT is a game changer.

Well, we didn't just end a fight. We only cleared some debris we could have met today as impediments. When you're in a relationship, it is good to have good times. Nobody may stop you from going to the cinemas or eating out. No one may stop you from waking each other in the morning with romantic telephone calls, exchanging gifts and even telling the world you're engaged. But if you don't tell each other the truths that will serve as your reality checks, you will marry only to spend your first two or more years wondering if you just took in a stranger as a spouse.

The moment of truth during your courtship is a life-saving time. It is the period you live in the future today. You discuss pertinent matters that will affect you. During such times, you will know the kind of man or woman you're about to marry. There are some questions you will ask that will make your RELATION SHIP hit the iceberg like the Titanic, or make it withstand the fierce storm ahead. You need your boat to be rocked now instead of later.

There are certain things to watch out for about the MOT. I will mention just three. Firstly, if both of you don't tell each other the simple truths that stare at you in the eyes about your relationship, then both of you are not serious. You have no business being together. Secondly, if you demand that you discuss important matters about your future but he always dodges the MOT, then he may not be ready yet. If he says the future will take care of itself, you need to remember that marriage does not survive on faith alone. It requires finance and faithfulness. You need to talk about them. Lastly, if he submits to the MOT but his body language is the opposite of what he says, you may just be close to stepping into the Lagos lagoon without a good boat. I am sorry but you may drown.

In conclusion, three things will save you from bitter future heartbreak and stories that touch the heart and muscles. The first is that you tell yourself the truth. The second is that he tells himself the truth. The third is that you tell each other the truth. If these three are missing, you are on your own.