I am not a Nigerian woman,My name is Isa

Inked_Nerd:

My dear, it sounds like he is using you. All he's doing is stringing you along for money .  

Nne easy nah,

Im a guy too&from ur explanations, i think d guy wants to use u. Dump him&i pray God give u a loving husband cos u sound humble.

Inked_Nerd:

My dear, it sounds like he is using you. All he's doing is stringing you along for money . 

Your one smart cookie. Your never rude you just tell it how you see it, sorry i just had to say that.



@Cutieisbela you sound like a very sweet person so of course he could love you. Your plagued by doubts for a reason.

3 years is a long time to invest in a relationship but, it's better to walk away now than years later after being used.

Drop him like he is hot. Drop him NOW!!!!!!

I can't drop him simply because I am afraid he might do something stupid to himself as when i tried to break him up twice,he cried to me and told me, I am his life and without me in his side, his life would be useless and he would rather kill himself rather than living without me.I just don't know why,I love him so much that whenever I tried to hurt him.I am hurting myself more.He knows I can't leave him.My love for him is unconditional,so the money I gave him is nothing.I just wanted him to let me feel that he loves me sincerely and he will do whatever it takes to make me happy not by giving me a love that has limitations.

I think he is manipulative .

Trust your instincts. You know what's going on.

Good luck.

@Isa. ( 1)don't give a guy who isn't married to u,a huge amount of money (2) I think he might be using you as a ladder for his business.cheers!

sms4health:


I think he is manipulative .

Trust your instincts. You know what's going on.

Good luck.

I agree

Mygoldie:

@Isa. ( 1)don't give a guy who isn't married to u,a huge amount of money

(2) I think he might be using you as a ladder for his business.cheers!

Yes, I feel he's playing the LONG game.



@Poster, even if he loves you and you love him, will he make you happy? will he marry you? and will he give you the "sincere"love you speak about.

He is using you,you do not even need to break off with him just stop giving him money and he will disappear.

@cuteisbala

The guy is just using you so kick his black ass out unto the pavement and dont let him back in. Dig down deep, very deep into your heart - you know the guy is no good and he is taking you for a ride. Just be strong and do the needful

Majority of the replies agreed that he is just using me, too bad, n fact,I am crying right now.He is my first Nigerian and foreign love.I have been inlove once before but it's not as strong as this, I just can't imagine my life without him.I don't know how to start,I don't know how to move on and let him go

@cutieisbela0

I can't drop him simply because I am afraid he might do something silly to himself as when i tried to break him up twice,he cried to me and told me, I am his life and without me in his side, his life would be useless and he would rather kill himself rather than living without me.I just don't know why,I love him so much that whenever I tried to hurt him.I am hurting myself more.He knows I can't leave him.My love for him is unconditional,so the money I gave him is nothing.I just wanted him to let me feel that he loves me sincerely and he will do whatever it takes to make me happy not by giving me a love that has limitations.

tht is just a PR stunt. he is manipulating & emotionally blackmailing you.
what's is sustaining the relationship is merely the financial benefits he's getting from you & perhaps the se, x .
How long will  you wait or continue to  for him to man up to his responsibilities towards you?
what makes you think the guy does not have a wife at home here nigeria?  & him contemplating marriage with you
considering the fact he's outside his cultural zone sounds fishy to me.

i think its high time u start detaching your self ,emotionally,financially & intimacy wise from the relationship, with that u should be able to gauge the direction of the relationship, though there re no perfect relationships but that does not mean you should allow your self to be used as a door mat, don't fall 'mugu" ,  act now & save your self from "charred broken heart"

Pls leave that guy, he is only using u as a ladder to his success. If he wants to kill himself, help him!

@ kayed007
Thank you for your concern and advice, I realy appreciate it, He went back to Nigeria about 3 months ago and from the time he arrived there, we do talk on phone every other day online.Due to  time differences I don't know his whereabouts but I do believe he isn't married yet because,I have talk to his brother and sister already, his mom once, and sometimes I called him at the middle of the night and if he has been married there, he can't say sweet words to me on phone .Accdng to him.his village is about 8-9 hrs away from lagos and since he arrived Nigeria He never been back to his village where his mom and his sister are living, he just told me he is busy in lagos doing business,

cuteisbela:

Majority of the replies agreed that he is just using me, too bad, n fact,I am crying right now.He is my first Nigerian and foreign love.I have been inlove once before but it's not as strong as this, I just can't imagine my life without him.I don't know how to start,I don't know how to move on and let him go

you know what sweety, don't dump him yet,just stop giving him any more funds,tell him you invested in some bad deals or something and that you're short of cash,then see how he'll react,at least for sure ul know if he loves you for you or for your money

^^ is rt just stop giving out the money and see how he reacts.stop all this i love him cnt live wtout him gist.
you need to be strong and dnt let anyone play you for a fool.pls stop giving him money no matter how desperate he sounds.and follow your intuition in most cases its right.

@ poster

You should follow your mind; but remember LOVE is a two way issue, you can love someone and the person will not love you.

For LOVE to work, both parties needs to be involved even is not 50 by 50 but 60 by 40 is okay; cause one of the hardest thing in life is making someone that does not love you fall for you, you will work so hard that you will end up still losing.

Guys who ask girls/ladies for money are a big disgrace to manhood. Even if she's willing to give, you should be ashamed that you can't fend for yourself and for your spouse. Even when she asks you for help and you come up with excuses and BS like that.

@Isabelle

The guy is after your money, he might love you, but he loves what he gains from you more than your person. If it will break your heart to leave him, prepare yourself for that heart break, or try looking for some else who's sincere enough.

@elbereth:

If only it's easy to find a man you will feel love as the way we think,

And Yes,I am Pretty,young and Educated, I think i can easily find someone out there but to feel LOVE and to be in love to someone is difficult and it will take time, Maybe I am just been so crazy about him.With this thread, i feel better,thanks to those people who replied my post.I appreciate it so much, I feel I am not alone.It made me feel good to know that there are people around who care for others.This matter I have kept for a long time and yet,I couldn't tell to my friends or to my family because I know they will just laugh at me, and for the reason of protecting his image to the people who know and close to us.After all,I STILL LOVE Nigeria,I still love Nigerian people, and will remain forever in my heart no matter what the future brings between me and my boyfriend, God bless!!!

Once u test it, its not easy to go back. Just quit giving him money if he's for real he will stay if not. Enjoy it while it last

This guy is using you,Wake up.

GUYS,thank you so much for sharing your opinion and for all your pieces of advice, I'l move forward and wish to laugh at last,

@ poster
I am sorry for what happened to you and am a Nigerian myself.There are good Nigerians here in Thailand who are so caring and loving.If you still wants to date a black man you should look beyond your country.There are lots of good black guys here in Thailand and even in other asia countries.Most of the Nigerians i know treat their asia ladies well here and even marry them.Some of them are with children here.Good luck.

Thanks so much Ikedonn,I am keeping my fingers crossed to finally meet my happiness with a black guy in the future bcz i knw how blessed you people are

If you feel he's using you, he probably is. He himself has already given you enough hints. You know the situation more than we do. But judging by what you wrote, he's taking advantage of you and is only with you for $. Your next course of action's up to you. But if i were you, i would show him the door.

@ poster,
You are welcome.

@ Yield.Thank you so much for your comments and advice.I appreciate it.But because of so much love i have for him,I will still give him a chance to prove himself, Right now he is in Nigeria and will soon come back to China maybe end of next month.I am happy that he hasn't asked me money anymore since he is back home.He told me his business is doing well now and he told me to wait and he gonna assume all his responsibilities and shortcomings when he arrive.I will wait and see, but in case he won't change,I am certain that I will no longer be as open financially to him and maybe that will lead to breaking up, but,I do hope and pray for happy ending,