thaira:

High Chief, I think you used the correct word- considerate. When one considers the other, then things will work out.

NIKKnJAZZ:


High chief, Half of the guys there are already doing these things

High_Chief:

You are getting the whole thing wrong, nobody is saying its wrong for his woman to earn more than he does, but its surely a big problem when she does things without givin a damnnn about how he feels, just the way a woman would want her husband to respect her own views. IMHO love conquers all and each partner should always put the other person into consideration when taking decisions, even down to little things. I got a particular Jacket one time and very expensive too but my gal never liked it on me and I stopped wearing it.

Outstrip:

Did you read the same thing I read. No where in that article did it say that the man should be treated badly. It simply says treat yourself well and with respect and while doing that remove guilt from the equation. Here is what you can do. Pick out anyone of those things pointed out and tell me the one that you feel just does not sit right with you and why. Then maybe I can begin to see what the problem is.
My husband is free to do anyone of those things and when he shines I am happy for him. You know why I will not have bad belle over his success? Because I make a point to do those things that are important to me and he has come to understand and respect that about me. Had he decided to have the attitude that I cannot because I am a wife he would have been a very very unhappy man. That bitterness usually comes from people who have not achieved what they are fully capable off or are simply lazy and go through life blaming everybody else for their lack of achievement when in reality you own your own power. This is simply what this person is trying to get across.

samtoye:

Can you rename this post as "10 Lessons on How to lose a man",

Tontolover:

Nigerian men are the close-minded bastards I've ever seen in this world, my God! What the bleep makes a man more special than a woman? his manliness?? please, you have succeeded in deceiving these poor Nigerian woman and they are okay with it. it's scary!! . preaching about what the bible says a woman must do. No, i'm not going against the bible and i know i don't know the bible well but there is no where it says a wife should be submissive to her husband. A husband must respect his wife if he wants the respect too.

[color=#990000][/color]i fuckin hate Nigerian men, you should you could control any girl/woman besides your Nigerian women/girls, Man the bleep up and stop lying to yourselves.

High_Chief:

Stop stereotyping, how many Nigerian men have you dated to arrive at that conclusion. Is your mum not enjoyin her marriage and does that make your Dad non-nigerian. You have not just met the right ones, chikena!!!!

Tontolover:

Nigerian men are the close-minded bastards I've ever seen in this world, my God! What the bleep makes a man more special than a woman? his manliness?? please, you have succeeded in deceiving these poor Nigerian woman and they are okay with it. it's scary!! . preaching about what the bible says a woman must do. No, i'm not going against the bible and i know i don't know the bible well but there is no where it says a wife should be submissive to her husband. A husband must respect his wife if he wants the respect too.

[color=#990000][/color]i fuckin hate Nigerian men, you should you could control any girl/woman besides your Nigerian women/girls, Man the bleep up and stop lying to yourselves.

I fuckin hate Nigerian men.

adanny01:

This poster is just trying to increase the rate of divorce in Nigeria. If my wife seriously takes to your advice, she should hire a lawyer.

Tontolover:

Nigerian men are the close-minded bastards I've ever seen in this world, my God! What the bleep makes a man more special than a woman? his manliness?? please, you have succeeded in deceiving these poor Nigerian woman and they are okay with it. it's scary!!   . preaching about what the bible says a woman must do. No, i'm not going against the bible and i know i don't know the bible well but there is no where it says a wife should be submissive to her husband. A husband must respect his wife if he wants the respect too.

My sister,never make any comment out of ignorance.Always make enquiries.Concerning ur last comment,this is the bibles perspective about it ''wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands,as it is fit in the lord''(colosians 3vs18 kjv version) Besides, from your post,you thinks that you are wiser than the ladies in Nigeria.This is the bibles view concerning your condition ''Whoever thinks he is standing firm had better be careful that he does not fall''(1 cor.10vs12 Good news version) May God bless you and help you to make amends so as not to be a shame to the folk of womanhood in future.

coolkaboom:

my wife must not see this strap.

admin,

Please remove am kia kia.

[/quote]
@ Activeman (the original poster)

Going out with friends

Friends are important whether you’re in a relationship or you’re single. If your man is giving you a problem about you seeing your friends, especially if you see him often, it’s an issue to immediately handle. It’s a sign of trust issues and a controlling nature among other problems. While you should deliver an appropriate amount of time to the relationship, it’s also important to allocate personal time to other loved ones.

Fine, good point. i guess it works both ways and i am very entitled to spend time with my friends going to beer parlors and night clubs too shey? and i guess it also means she is free to go anywhere and hang out even at the detriment of say her 2 yr old child at home with the house help at 9 pm?


Being successful

It’s a sad fact that some men are uncomfortable with successful women. Even if the man considers himself successful, he may try to douse the woman’s happiness about her own achievements. In some cases the woman will feel guilty all on her own. You earned your success, so enjoy it without any negative feelings.


well i definitely agree!!!!! i cant stand lazy no-good, give me money for my hair women. but i also guess this goes without saying that she is entirely responsible for her personal upkeep.


Walking away

Whether it’s walking away from a job that makes you unhappy or an abusive relationship, never apologize for walking away from something that makes you unhappy. You are with yourself every hour of every day and no one has to deal with your unhappiness more than you do. No one needs to be in an unhappy situation if it’s something they can walk away from.

of course, any sane person must walk away from abuse/abusive relationship etc. but  what if mrs wife is walking away from say her mom, and of course its interpreted as you being the husband is the cause of it(the rationality of the interpretation is not in issue here note) am talking real life situations!!!!!

and thankfully as her husband i can also walk away from relating or associating with her family too no? (as i really cant stand her siblings and i truly dislike her mom) and vice versa?


Personal style

Personal style is just that; personal because pertains to the individual. A woman should be able to wear what she wants without anyone telling her that the style is not good enough. While there are dress codefor example what to wear to work or an event, if you feel comfortable in it and believe it looks good on you then you’re entitled to wear it and be happy without someone else telling you otherwise.

does this include tying wrapper to the neighborhood grocery store? or revealing her cleavage while tagging along to church, at the family get together, at my office shindig where am required to bring her along or even anywhere on the planet or ok if i become the next governor, she must lead the way in cut-off hot pants at my inaguration?



Having what your man doesn’t

Some women feel guilty when they’re in a relationship with a man and has some things he is currently lacking. Some of the guilt triggers may be a job, money, a house or a certain type of car. If he wants these things, he can strive to get them but you should never try to dim your light or feel bad for what you have just because your partner doesn’t.

TRUE!!!!! VERY TRUE!!!!   


Taking risks

Whether it’s skydiving or quitting to pursue a job you really want, you don’t owe an explanation to anyone for the risks you take if they involve only you. Life is too short to not pursue the type of life you want.

you mean my wife can take risks without even thinking of the fact that she has children and a husband?  ok so i can resign and go start a business selling water to fishes with our entire family fortune?      skydiving?? hmmn lovely. she should get my blessing to leave junior and princess with me and go off bungee jumping? 
wow, i have always wanted to drive formula one. . . . . . . . . .  and do a few lines of coke every night too. and take a new concubine. she is too old to spice my blood up!!
ITS MY LIFE NAH!!!


Being honest

If you have certain thoughts, own up to them and don’t apologize especially if someone is asking for your opinion. While saying your opinion isn’t the best idea in certain circumstances, such as if you think your boyfriend’s manliness isn’t as great as your ex’s, many times it’s okay to express how you feel. If other people don’t agree get upset, then they shouldn’t have asked in the first place.

yup, opinions are the very spice of life. i hope she also does'nt mind when i tell her her toto is slack, she looks like my grand momma on juice, her pop is really a grumpy old jobless fart etc etc etc


Staying in pajamas

If you want to sit around in the middle of a Sunday afternoon in your pajamas curled up under a blanket while you watch old movies, then so be it. If your man gives you a problem, invite him to put on his pajamas and pull up a chair.

hmmmn, lovely. . . . .  . mrs smith is in pyjamas at 2 pm, junior always sees mommy dressed like a fool right in the middle of the day and wants to go to school dressed like that too, . . . ,   ,  . . . .  mr smith is in boxers at the street corner arguing loudly with the neighborhood farts about the president of the local association of farmers and his new bicycle



Liking what you like

Whether it’s reality television or a musician no one has heard of, you shouldn’t apologize for anything you like. If everyone liked the same things, the world would be pretty boring anyway.


yup, which is why i like football, and will proceed to paint our home in the badge of my fav footy club, make sure the TV only shows footy, play my rock music at full blast whilst playing playstation 3 at 11 pm



Not reciprocating interest

You aren’t going to be attracted to every guy that expresses interest in you. If you don’t like someone in a romantic way, there’s nothing you can do about it. You may feel bad for the other person, but it isn’t something you can help and doesn’t require an apology.

this is my favorite! finally i dont have to sleep with you or even show any interest after having 5 rounds outside, i no longer have to listen to your downright boring useless stories about your day, i dont have to tell you you look nice in you brand new set of dumb ass clothing. i dont even have to tell you i love you even if you say it a million times!!!! bliss!



Avoiding contact

If an ex, friend that betrayed you or someone else that you have no interest in speaking to contacts you and you avoid them, make no apologies for it. You should surround yourself with people you like, whether it’s friends or acquaintances and everyone else push to the side. Having people you dislike in your life will only bring you down.

fine. pls remember also not to greet the landlord (useless old jobless hungry man), the neighbors (snotty gbe boruns), your colleagues at work (the bitches have been scheming on you, your sister and bros (you had a fight last time remember), your mom ( for having the temerity to ask you when the next child is coming)
life is wonderful alone shey?



You should offer an apology when you do something wrong, not when you’re being who you are. While everyone has some flaws, the person you’re with is supposed to love you for who you are not for who he wants you to be.

of course na before nko? will i apologise getting drunk and vomiting all over the sitting room rug? its who i am i drink and i vomit, live with it!!!
or u actually expect me to apologise for ogling the neighbors teenage daughter with succulent bosoms? when did lookery become a crime?

[quote]