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| Re: My Sister Is About To Marry An Osu Man, About To Commit A Serious Taboo by chiteny(m): 4:31pm On Nov 25, 2019 |
TheSkyIsBlue:
My Sister Is About To Commit A Serious Taboo All In The Name Of Marriage
Hello Nairalanders!
Please ignore any typographical or grammatical error. I just want to pour it out the way it is in my heart.
I am seriously confused and worried about what is happening in my family and I will appreciate your candid advice.
There is this guy my sister has been in a relationship with for over seven years now. so he actually asked her hand in marriage and decided to come see my parents for introduction, about some months ago. My family decided to take their time to find out more about the guys family background as is required in Igbo tradition.
After several questions asked, my family came to find out that the guy is an Osu (an outcast). On knowing this, everybody in my family told my sister to cut ties with him and discontinue the relationship because it is a big taboo to get married to an Osu in my place . If you do, no family member or friend will attend your wedding or even have anything to do with you again.
But my sister refused to listen to anybody claiming she really loves the guy, that they have been together for a very long time and that she is not getting younger anymore (mind you, she is in her early thirties). Everybody (my parents and extended family members) tried to talk her out of it but she still didn't listen.
After much pressure and her continues insistence, my dad decided to give them his blessings, although against his wish (my dad is actually not really deep into tradition). Now the guy has done all the traditional rights and paid for her dowry. Their wedding is coming up soon.
But the problem now is, according to tradition and from what I heard, if she was allowed to go with the guy without my dad giving them his blessings, the stigma would have just been on her and she alone would have been considered Osu, since she insisted to continue with the marriage. But now that my dad has given them his blessings, it is considered that all of us (her siblings) will also have that link of Osu too. Except if she decide to put an end to the relationship and discontinue with the wedding, which I don't think my sister is ready to do.
I am really worried and depressed about it, cause I don't want anything that will affect me tomorrow when I want to get married just because of my sister's mistakes.
I will really like to get opinions and sincere advice especially from those that are familiar with tradition, cause I'm seriously bothered. Thanks!
OP, YOU HAVE SEEN THE WALLS OF AN ACADEMIC INSTITUTION, BUT YOU ARE NOT ENLIGHTENED. Please don't take it as an insult, its a complement after reading through your piece. |
| Re: My Sister Is About To Marry An Osu Man, About To Commit A Serious Taboo by Nobody: 4:49pm On Nov 25, 2019 |
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| Re: My Sister Is About To Marry An Osu Man, About To Commit A Serious Taboo by Nobody: 4:52pm On Nov 25, 2019 |
tchidi066:
Really, this is laughable, i believe op is educated and exposed, why still believe in such barbaric traditions, osu or no osu, if i find my betterhalf, am going ahead. What you should be worried about is how he is gonna treat ur sis in matrimony...mind you i am igbo Madame I am ready to marry you if you agree to do OSU. If not, no marriage from me. |
| Re: My Sister Is About To Marry An Osu Man, About To Commit A Serious Taboo by Ibeekaay: 6:03pm On Nov 25, 2019 |
TheSkyIsBlue:
My Sister Is About To Commit A Serious Taboo All In The Name Of Marriage
Hello Nairalanders!
Please ignore any typographical or grammatical error. I just want to pour it out the way it is in my heart.
I am seriously confused and worried about what is happening in my family and I will appreciate your candid advice.
There is this guy my sister has been in a relationship with for over seven years now. so he actually asked her hand in marriage and decided to come see my parents for introduction, about some months ago. My family decided to take their time to find out more about the guys family background as is required in Igbo tradition.
After several questions asked, my family came to find out that the guy is an Osu (an outcast). On knowing this, everybody in my family told my sister to cut ties with him and discontinue the relationship because it is a big taboo to get married to an Osu in my place . If you do, no family member or friend will attend your wedding or even have anything to do with you again.
But my sister refused to listen to anybody claiming she really loves the guy, that they have been together for a very long time and that she is not getting younger anymore (mind you, she is in her early thirties). Everybody (my parents and extended family members) tried to talk her out of it but she still didn't listen.
After much pressure and her continues insistence, my dad decided to give them his blessings, although against his wish (my dad is actually not really deep into tradition). Now the guy has done all the traditional rights and paid for her dowry. Their wedding is coming up soon.
But the problem now is, according to tradition and from what I heard, if she was allowed to go with the guy without my dad giving them his blessings, the stigma would have just been on her and she alone would have been considered Osu, since she insisted to continue with the marriage. But now that my dad has given them his blessings, it is considered that all of us (her siblings) will also have that link of Osu too. Except if she decide to put an end to the relationship and discontinue with the wedding, which I don't think my sister is ready to do.
I am really worried and depressed about it, cause I don't want anything that will affect me tomorrow when I want to get married just because of my sister's mistakes.
I will really like to get opinions and sincere advice especially from those that are familiar with tradition, cause I'm seriously bothered. Thanks!
Are u for real  ..this is big traash |
| Re: My Sister Is About To Marry An Osu Man, About To Commit A Serious Taboo by miraclebaby: 6:51pm On Nov 25, 2019 |
@ TheSkyIsBlue if you still believe in osu caste, then you're already an osu. In those days once one who is osu comes in contact with you, you become one as well. Now to think your sister has been with the guy for 7 good years, she's already an advanced osu so also you all that dine and live with her as well as others that have already been in contact with you all. Meaning all your family members and friends are already osu if you believe in the nonsense. Are you sure you're depressed or you're just confused?
Osu in this century��� 3 Likes |
| Re: My Sister Is About To Marry An Osu Man, About To Commit A Serious Taboo by xeros20(m): 8:20pm On Nov 25, 2019 |
TheSkyIsBlue:
My Sister Is About To Commit A Serious Taboo All In The Name Of Marriage
Hello Nairalanders!
Please ignore any typographical or grammatical error. I just want to pour it out the way it is in my heart.
I am seriously confused and worried about what is happening in my family and I will appreciate your candid advice.
There is this guy my sister has been in a relationship with for over seven years now. so he actually asked her hand in marriage and decided to come see my parents for introduction, about some months ago. My family decided to take their time to find out more about the guys family background as is required in Igbo tradition.
After several questions asked, my family came to find out that the guy is an Osu (an outcast). On knowing this, everybody in my family told my sister to cut ties with him and discontinue the relationship because it is a big taboo to get married to an Osu in my place . If you do, no family member or friend will attend your wedding or even have anything to do with you again.
But my sister refused to listen to anybody claiming she really loves the guy, that they have been together for a very long time and that she is not getting younger anymore (mind you, she is in her early thirties). Everybody (my parents and extended family members) tried to talk her out of it but she still didn't listen.
After much pressure and her continues insistence, my dad decided to give them his blessings, although against his wish (my dad is actually not really deep into tradition). Now the guy has done all the traditional rights and paid for her dowry. Their wedding is coming up soon.
But the problem now is, according to tradition and from what I heard, if she was allowed to go with the guy without my dad giving them his blessings, the stigma would have just been on her and she alone would have been considered Osu, since she insisted to continue with the marriage. But now that my dad has given them his blessings, it is considered that all of us (her siblings) will also have that link of Osu too. Except if she decide to put an end to the relationship and discontinue with the wedding, which I don't think my sister is ready to do.
I am really worried and depressed about it, cause I don't want anything that will affect me tomorrow when I want to get married just because of my sister's mistakes.
I will really like to get opinions and sincere advice especially from those that are familiar with tradition, cause I'm seriously bothered. Thanks!
Big lie, nothing concerns you with OSU. The OSU follows your sister alone. Go and ask elders. |
| Re: My Sister Is About To Marry An Osu Man, About To Commit A Serious Taboo by midnighter(f): 8:33pm On Nov 25, 2019 |
miraclebaby:
@ TheSkyIsBlue if you still believe in osu caste, then you're already an osu. In those days once one who is osu comes in contact with you, you become one as well. Now to think your sister has been with the guy for 7 good years, she's already an advanced osu so also you all that dine and live with her as well as others that have already been in contact with you all. Meaning all your family members and friends are already osu if you believe in the nonsense. Are you sure you're depressed or you're just confused?
Osu in this century��� Interesting. I forgot about that aspect. They're not even supposed to touch each others food or water 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: My Sister Is About To Marry An Osu Man, About To Commit A Serious Taboo by EasternPrince: 8:40pm On Nov 25, 2019 |
midnighter:
Interesting. I forgot about that aspect. They're not even supposed to touch each others food or water This Yoruba woman stop disgracing yourself with what you don;t know about. @miraclebaby: What eastern state you from? Where is this contact Osu and become osu thing practiced so strictly and has it continued to now? |
| Re: My Sister Is About To Marry An Osu Man, About To Commit A Serious Taboo by midnighter(f): 8:43pm On Nov 25, 2019 |
EasternPrince:
This Yoruba woman stop disgracing yourself with what you don;t know about.
@miraclebaby: What eastern state you from? Where is this contact Osu and become osu thing practiced so strictly and has it continued to now? She clearly said "in those days". I guess I was right when I guessed that you weren't really literate. |
| Re: My Sister Is About To Marry An Osu Man, About To Commit A Serious Taboo by EasternPrince: 8:48pm On Nov 25, 2019 |
midnighter:
She clearly said "in those days". I guess I was right when I guessed that you weren't really literate.
Well, you did write this short love letter to me in a literate language so stop arguing with yourself or are you mad?
The OSU caste system is not eradicated in Igbo land even half and can be quite strict in places. I want to know if such places exist in her homeland. |
| Re: My Sister Is About To Marry An Osu Man, About To Commit A Serious Taboo by greatbrian(m): 10:57pm On Nov 25, 2019 |
midnighter:
She clearly said "in those days". I guess I was right when I guessed that you weren't really literate. Midnighter...... I knew you to be intelligent, versatile and all. But savage isn't part. What changed? |
| Re: My Sister Is About To Marry An Osu Man, About To Commit A Serious Taboo by 1Sharon(f): 9:54am On Nov 26, 2019 |
Y'all made this fake thread go up to 20 pages.. 1 Like |
| Re: My Sister Is About To Marry An Osu Man, About To Commit A Serious Taboo by EasternPrince: 9:56am On Nov 26, 2019 |
1Sharon:
Y'all made this fake thread go up to 20 pages..  So you knew it was fake yet won't let someone have rest. Some babe you are. You have yourself a nice day. |
| Re: My Sister Is About To Marry An Osu Man, About To Commit A Serious Taboo by EasternPrince: 9:57am On Nov 26, 2019 |
greatbrian:
Midnighter...... I knew you to be intelligent, versatile and all. But savage isn't part. What changed? Her pastor |
| Re: My Sister Is About To Marry An Osu Man, About To Commit A Serious Taboo by ovcwality(m): 11:48am On Nov 26, 2019 |
ornicus:
My colleague had her head shaved.and she was lucky in her own, because she had a very good relationship with her mil who did her best to shield her Shield her from what? Want to know more I don't do tribalism, but i think igbos need to move, serious awareness should be taught to them, this is 2019 for christ sake Before i die i hope to see big changes in nigeria |
| Re: My Sister Is About To Marry An Osu Man, About To Commit A Serious Taboo by ovcwality(m): 11:50am On Nov 26, 2019 |
miraclebaby:
@ TheSkyIsBlue if you still believe in osu caste, then you're already an osu. In those days once one who is osu comes in contact with you, you become one as well. Now to think your sister has been with the guy for 7 good years, she's already an advanced osu so also you all that dine and live with her as well as others that have already been in contact with you all. Meaning all your family members and friends are already osu if you believe in the nonsense. Are you sure you're depressed or you're just confused?
Osu in this century��� Hahaha, what you saying is that op is already an osu, op fear no more  1 Like |
| Re: My Sister Is About To Marry An Osu Man, About To Commit A Serious Taboo by Coolgent(m): 12:26pm On Nov 26, 2019 |
TheSkyIsBlue:
My Sister Is About To Commit A Serious Taboo All In The Name Of Marriage
Hello Nairalanders!
Please ignore any typographical or grammatical error. I just want to pour it out the way it is in my heart.
I am seriously confused and worried about what is happening in my family and I will appreciate your candid advice.
There is this guy my sister has been in a relationship with for over seven years now. so he actually asked her hand in marriage and decided to come see my parents for introduction, about some months ago. My family decided to take their time to find out more about the guys family background as is required in Igbo tradition.
After several questions asked, my family came to find out that the guy is an Osu (an outcast). On knowing this, everybody in my family told my sister to cut ties with him and discontinue the relationship because it is a big taboo to get married to an Osu in my place . If you do, no family member or friend will attend your wedding or even have anything to do with you again.
But my sister refused to listen to anybody claiming she really loves the guy, that they have been together for a very long time and that she is not getting younger anymore (mind you, she is in her early thirties). Everybody (my parents and extended family members) tried to talk her out of it but she still didn't listen.
After much pressure and her continues insistence, my dad decided to give them his blessings, although against his wish (my dad is actually not really deep into tradition). Now the guy has done all the traditional rights and paid for her dowry. Their wedding is coming up soon.
But the problem now is, according to tradition and from what I heard, if she was allowed to go with the guy without my dad giving them his blessings, the stigma would have just been on her and she alone would have been considered Osu, since she insisted to continue with the marriage. But now that my dad has given them his blessings, it is considered that all of us (her siblings) will also have that link of Osu too. Except if she decide to put an end to the relationship and discontinue with the wedding, which I don't think my sister is ready to do.
I am really worried and depressed about it, cause I don't want anything that will affect me tomorrow when I want to get married just because of my sister's mistakes.
I will really like to get opinions and sincere advice especially from those that are familiar with tradition, cause I'm seriously bothered. Thanks!
Considering your write up u are educated enough not to allow that so call culture stand between you and your sister. I wish her happy marriage life. I will happily attend the wedding from Zamfara. 1 Like |
| Re: My Sister Is About To Marry An Osu Man, About To Commit A Serious Taboo by fm7070: 12:32pm On Nov 26, 2019 |
Who Osu help? 1 Like |
| Re: My Sister Is About To Marry An Osu Man, About To Commit A Serious Taboo by tchidi066(f): 7:46pm On Nov 26, 2019 |
truthsayer009:
Madame I am ready to marry you if you agree to do OSU. If not, no marriage from me. Abeg who be this, did i mention it in anyway am in search of a hubby, Abeg face front |
| Re: My Sister Is About To Marry An Osu Man, About To Commit A Serious Taboo by Nobody: 8:12pm On Nov 26, 2019 |
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| Re: My Sister Is About To Marry An Osu Man, About To Commit A Serious Taboo by tchidi066(f): 9:04pm On Nov 26, 2019 |
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| Re: My Sister Is About To Marry An Osu Man, About To Commit A Serious Taboo by buzzcypha(m): 12:23am On Nov 27, 2019 |
midnighter:
If he knew he had that issue and neglected to tell her then he is partly to blame for the current situation.
Anybody who has an issue should be forthcoming about it and let their partner make an informed decision about whether or not they wish to continue with the relationship
Have you read "No longer at ease" by Chinua Achebe? The guy wanted to marry his friend and the lady began crying and told him she was an osu.
That book was written in the year of our independence when this osu stuff was even worse than it is now so the guy has no excuse for deceiving OPs sister until she was getting old and other suitors were thin on the ground. Well explained my brother, the African self tire person |
| Re: My Sister Is About To Marry An Osu Man, About To Commit A Serious Taboo by Nobody: 5:09pm On Nov 27, 2019 |
tchidi066:
Is dat all you've got to say, okay bye, you can run along now You keep quoting me, i am not interested in dating you. Leave me na, ahn ahn. I am already married please, leave me alone. |
| Re: My Sister Is About To Marry An Osu Man, About To Commit A Serious Taboo by midnighter(f): 5:22pm On Nov 27, 2019 |
truthsayer009:
You keep quoting me, i am not interested in dating you. Leave me na, ahn ahn.
I am already married please, leave me alone.  so your courtship talk was all wash And they say we should trust NL guys smh |
| Re: My Sister Is About To Marry An Osu Man, About To Commit A Serious Taboo by Nobody: 5:59pm On Nov 27, 2019 |
midnighter:
so your courtship talk was all wash
And they say we should trust NL guys smh Hahahaha I'm not married ooh abeg, i was just joking bikonu. That lady's sense of humor is zero, she took everything too serious |
| Re: My Sister Is About To Marry An Osu Man, About To Commit A Serious Taboo by Bigcowhorn: 3:27pm On Dec 02, 2019 |
mezarddinny:
Igbos and discrimination in 21st century.
They shout marginalisation when it is from other people but do worse to themselves Try to keep your mouth shut on issues you do not understand at any level. 1 Like |
| Re: My Sister Is About To Marry An Osu Man, About To Commit A Serious Taboo by luluosas(m): 8:19pm On Dec 14, 2019 |
My dear, which marriage are you afraid of? Your sister been sexing her boyfriend which implied that they wedded themselves 7 years ago. Your father only came to legalized the marriage from being seen as illegal by giving his blessings, case closed. Therefore, your sister is now legally married. Forget the yeye wedding you are talking about because the real marriage has been cemented. Cheers TheSkyIsBlue:
My Sister Is About To Commit A Serious Taboo All In The Name Of Marriage
Hello Nairalanders!
Please ignore any typographical or grammatical error. I just want to pour it out the way it is in my heart.
I am seriously confused and worried about what is happening in my family and I will appreciate your candid advice.
There is this guy my sister has been in a relationship with for over seven years now. so he actually asked her hand in marriage and decided to come see my parents for introduction, about some months ago. My family decided to take their time to find out more about the guys family background as is required in Igbo tradition.
After several questions asked, my family came to find out that the guy is an Osu (an outcast). On knowing this, everybody in my family told my sister to cut ties with him and discontinue the relationship because it is a big taboo to get married to an Osu in my place . If you do, no family member or friend will attend your wedding or even have anything to do with you again.
But my sister refused to listen to anybody claiming she really loves the guy, that they have been together for a very long time and that she is not getting younger anymore (mind you, she is in her early thirties). Everybody (my parents and extended family members) tried to talk her out of it but she still didn't listen.
After much pressure and her continues insistence, my dad decided to give them his blessings, although against his wish (my dad is actually not really deep into tradition). Now the guy has done all the traditional rights and paid for her dowry. Their wedding is coming up soon.
But the problem now is, according to tradition and from what I heard, if she was allowed to go with the guy without my dad giving them his blessings, the stigma would have just been on her and she alone would have been considered Osu, since she insisted to continue with the marriage. But now that my dad has given them his blessings, it is considered that all of us (her siblings) will also have that link of Osu too. Except if she decide to put an end to the relationship and discontinue with the wedding, which I don't think my sister is ready to do.
I am really worried and depressed about it, cause I don't want anything that will affect me tomorrow when I want to get married just because of my sister's mistakes.
I will really like to get opinions and sincere advice especially from those that are familiar with tradition, cause I'm seriously bothered. Thanks!
3 Likes |
| Re: My Sister Is About To Marry An Osu Man, About To Commit A Serious Taboo by Nobody: 12:59pm On Dec 27, 2019 |
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| Re: My Sister Is About To Marry An Osu Man, About To Commit A Serious Taboo by meobizy(f): 4:21am On Jun 19, 2020 |
Osu is still a thing in 2020? Sha, I don’t blame OP, the same matter happened to a friend of mine in 2016. It was sad to see his wedding get canceled, but I was secretly happy he chopped another man’s daughter so much that he won’t regret too badly. 1 Like |
| Re: My Sister Is About To Marry An Osu Man, About To Commit A Serious Taboo by Aspentrails96(m): 4:11pm On Jun 19, 2020 |
My friend, am dating a beautiful girl people are saying their family is OSU. I no give damn sha. Those beliefs don cast |
| Re: My Sister Is About To Marry An Osu Man, About To Commit A Serious Taboo by AlphaTaikun: 7:15pm On Mar 18, 2022 |
TheSkyIsBlue:
My Sister Is About To Commit A Serious Taboo All In The Name Of Marriage
Hello Nairalanders!
Please ignore any typographical or grammatical error. I just want to pour it out the way it is in my heart.
I am seriously confused and worried about what is happening in my family and I will appreciate your candid advice.
There is this guy my sister has been in a relationship with for over seven years now. so he actually asked her hand in marriage and decided to come see my parents for introduction, about some months ago. My family decided to take their time to find out more about the guys family background as is required in Igbo tradition.
After several questions asked, my family came to find out that the guy is an Osu (an outcast). On knowing this, everybody in my family told my sister to cut ties with him and discontinue the relationship because it is a big taboo to get married to an Osu in my place . If you do, no family member or friend will attend your wedding or even have anything to do with you again.
But my sister refused to listen to anybody claiming she really loves the guy, that they have been together for a very long time and that she is not getting younger anymore (mind you, she is in her early thirties). Everybody (my parents and extended family members) tried to talk her out of it but she still didn't listen.
After much pressure and her continues insistence, my dad decided to give them his blessings, although against his wish (my dad is actually not really deep into tradition). Now the guy has done all the traditional rights and paid for her dowry. Their wedding is coming up soon.
But the problem now is, according to tradition and from what I heard, if she was allowed to go with the guy without my dad giving them his blessings, the stigma would have just been on her and she alone would have been considered Osu, since she insisted to continue with the marriage. But now that my dad has given them his blessings, it is considered that all of us (her siblings) will also have that link of Osu too. Except if she decide to put an end to the relationship and discontinue with the wedding, which I don't think my sister is ready to do.
I am really worried and depressed about it, cause I don't want anything that will affect me tomorrow when I want to get married just because of my sister's mistakes.
I will really like to get opinions and sincere advice especially from those that are familiar with tradition, cause I'm seriously bothered. Thanks!
I laughed in Ebonics when I first read the naive posts of some younger non-Ibo people here on this thread criticising or insulting Ibo elders and other Ibos over the Osu caste custom. Ibos have no intention of eradicating it because it is deeply embeded in their communities. Osus are NOT given chieftaincy titles and they are not allowed to sit in crucial community meetings or to get married to so-called freeborn families. NOTE: Indeed if non-Ibo men or women (Yoruba, Edo, Berom, Ibibio, etc), get married to Ibos who are Osus, they too and their children automatically become Osu outcasts in the spouse's community by association and would be discriminated against! I listened to a recorded phone-in program in 2020 anchored by a female OAP and the male Ibo callers living in Lagos and Ogun States fiercely justified the Osu custom and said that "if traditional marriage cannot be banned, Osu cannot be banned!" One of the male callers who is from Imo sarcastically said it is the Ibos who are from Osu lineages that are marrying Yorubas, Hausas and Benue people. He even bluntly said the Ibo children of Osus living in Lagos and elsewhere have not been told by their fathers yet that they are Osus, and that it is when they want to get married and investigations are done into the family lineages in the village that those young Ibos get to know that they are Osus! Ifedayo Daddy Freeze Olarinde also did a program in 2021 discussing how to eradicate the Osu outcast custom, but he also got some live phone calls from especially Ibo men telling him to leave the Osu topic alone since it is part of the Ibo culture. That was when it finally dawned on me that Ibos are NOT serious about stopping it because it has deep cultural and communal roots, and all the pronouncements banning the Osu custom for over 50 years now are just what the are. EMPTY proclamations! |
