[b]( Matured Minds Only Please )

I have been dating this lady for about 9 months now and i love her so much, I sure have done a lot of things to prove my love to her.

Basically, I'm not based in Nigeria but i come home as soon as often just to see her and spend time with her ,   I come home to see her at least once in 3 months, 

I am not used to a distant relationship myself but she is just so irresistible ,  I send her Monies and carter for her lil needs,

Sexual Life is very poor,  She claims she doesn't enjoy sex at all but she does everything to satisfy me sexually and Yes,  she don't seem to enjoy it cos she tells me its hurting her,  ( I get confused on that side)

She is Educated and wanting to take Acting as a Career which she keeps telling she got passion for,  I have always supported her in that not until this day she sent me an sms saying she wanted to talk to me and it was urgent, 

She had gone for an advertising job outside the state she stays in naija.

So,  I got to my apartment and returned the call,  She wouldn't answer the call for about 20 something times and when she finally answered she said i didn't need to call over 20 times , i could have simply sent an sms,  I was surprised ( she sent me the sms about 10 minutes before i returned the call)

They had accommodated them in an hotel for the advertising Job and she does have a room mate ( as she said) So if she never heard the phone ringing wouldn't the other girl hear the phone ring? Fine!

She got back to her home after the whole job thing and called me again,  We spoke well but she was acting strange so i was like "Whats Wrong With you, I don't like the way you sound"

All she said was i'll send you an SMS.

She did send the sms and the content was " Hi Hun, I met this guy and i really liked him, but it took me the good times we share together and the love i have for you to say NO to him"

Oh my God,  I felt heart broken and couldn't eat my food ,  I hurried to get calling card and ringed her,  "What was that for",  After i had said all and that and told her everything i could that came through my mind at that time,  She sent me another sms saying " I only wanted to get excited, i wanted to know if you really do love me, i have gotten the fact i need to know but i realize u don't trust me and I'm not gonna forgive you on that"

WTF,   Your Playing games with my emotions,  Is that the new game now?

Seriously, I have been having too many running through my head and i dont need all this from that girl

I'll need your Advice "Nairalanders" on this,  What do i do?

Does Love Has Anything to do what my Account Balance?

Does She Really Love me Or I have Spoilt her way too much and now its about the gift and money?

Do i just Quit ??

Im confused,   HELPPPP!!!!, lol


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thats some complicated life u got there. But i cant understand wat ur acct. balance got to do here

Lol, I must admit  u in quite a delimma

Okay, ur post was a bit too emotional but I''m going to try and make something out of it!

First of all, ur girl was wrong to have sent you such a text, telling you she met someone else she liked. Does she think she's doing you a favour by dating you? Clearly she's got an attitude and it could only be from the fact that she's got a lot of men around her, flattering her and making her feel she could do better than you!  she's not being fair to you, considering the efforts you have put to make the relationship work!

As for your account balance, well what can I say . . . . .  who no like better thing?

Apparently love is conditional these days and most of those conditions are placed on material things! Everybody wants to know what the other party has to offer . . . Financially! You just have to suck it up I'm afraid.

Finally, you are waaaaay too emotional. What are u calling her 20x for? She's right you know, u could have just sent her a text! Guys with stalkerly attributes are a huge turn off! There's caring and there's stalking. Like she rightly pointed out, you don't trust hare and that's bad. If you are in a distance relationship and you don't trust your girl, you might as wll end it now.

Lol, I'm beginning to talk like you . . .ntoo much!

i dont really believe in all these distance relationship - it fades relatioship.  My suggestion is:give her some time, give her a closer observation before u decide.

olax44:

i dont really believe in all these distance relationship - it fades relatioship.  My suggestion is:give her some time, give her a closer observation before u decide.

true.

@Ujujoan - Thanks for your comment you made sense there, Your funny tho but i dont talk much i just had to explain what it is, I'm not a stalker FYI, She been the one wanting to know my family, asking for marriage and all those stuff but i kept saying she'll know and meet my fam when i am comfortable!, i dont introduce a girl to my fam just like dat i have to be sure bout her, u know what i mean, Who knows she might be doing those to pressurize me? what do u think?

About the call, she calls me more than i do and actually kept dialing that day cos i only wanted to know what was so important and was worried something might had happened to her.

I was suprised she asked for my account balance the last time i came to Nigeria to see her, "Hows that her business", lol

Newayz, I have never trusted a girl just like i trust her tho,

Thanks for your comment Ujujoan!


@bforce - so sorry i forgot to state she was asking for my account balance the last time i was in Nigeria, LOL (was carried away )


@olax44 - I think your making sense there, but the problem i have is , "I dont mean to be full of myself" but i have got too many better girls wanting to date me but i just got attracted to her and i really don't enjoy double dating u know what i mean! If i give her time then i'll be stolen from her, LOL


Thanks Ya'll tho

This is strange, a gal asks you for your acct balance?? do you really mean that?

hmm thats some guts she has got but then maybe you"ve been showing off u might need to tone that down.
The test i do not understand why or what is she up to?any way maybe she knws she got you so she can act like she pleases and u just have to swallow it.

calling her 20 times are you sure you were not having trust issues?

Okay, she's playing mind games or she just needs to grow up! That's one thing I can't stand is for people to play games. Just trying to cause a reaction out of you to test your love. From what you just said, you've done alot to show this girl that you deeply care for her. So the rest of that was irrevelant. Anyway's, it's possible she may just want to know how you are able to spend so much and wanting to be nosey to find out how much money you have. Then IF that was the case, she should've put or asked it another way. Then it could be the case that she just maybe using you for your money and/or attention. I would advise you to proceed with extreme caution with her. She don't sound very mature and ready to be in a committed relationship yet.

@livedit - Thanks for your comment though, Really, she comes up with different stuffs whenever i am out of the country like that. But once I'm in town she would just apologies for everything t, I think i'll just quit from the relationship what do you think?

I'm confused, i don't need the headaches, lol

abeg forget about her she does not love u. pls i will advise to end the relationship with her cos she has know right to ask 4 ur account balance,she is not ur wife just a girlfriend

@Poster. . .I don't envy your condition, it's very bad and it will get ugly:

1. It sounds you have the wrong girl or wrong type of girl in your life.

2. The distance issues does not help you.

3. Because of (1), there is NOTHING that you can do that will satisfy her, ultimately. This will be one of the most painful things because after all you do, it will NEVER be enough because of (1).

My suggestion: Like someone said earlier, love is tied to material things mostly these days. Garbage whatever trash anyone preaches to you because on the long run you will find yourself in SQUARE 1. If I will advise you as a guy who knows this game you are playing now:

1. You need an insurance policy, VERY FAST! It is not about money, it is about getting LOTS of MILEAGE on this chick! There's no better policy than to bang this girl really silly and crazy (I am not just talking NORMAL boring SEX). Look, a woman's worth is inversely proportional to how much banging she has taken from guys. Now, you may not be able to record your banging sessions but take lots of pictures, unclothed or half unclothed, make videos of her while you are playing together. You will NEED lots of MILEAGE fast if you have not accumulated enough yet. You know why? This relationship seems headed for one direction: The Rocks! After spending your money, time and emotions, you will still endure a big heartbreak! Now imagine that after this heartbreak, she is all over "town" with how she "used you", she made you do this and that at her command! Yet, you only "managed" to sleep with her a few times because you said the sex is not great, she complains of pains, etc. (This will naturally reduce how much sex you will get at that rate).

2. Talking about you, either to you or to someone else, will hurt you more and you simply have nothing to show for it! If you get enough mileage, she can say whatever (like she doesn't love you anymore, she loves someone better, you are not her true love, etc) and that will feel better 'cos you don't really want someone who does not love you anyway; but not that you did not or could not satisfy her in bed. It is a very psychological thing that will always wear her down knowing what you guys did on the bed and that you have copious records of it. She can move on but she can NEVER look you in the face and tell you, you're a loser! Not only that, she knows if she gets you mad by talking BS to anyone, you can damn produce evidence of how you totally "finished" her and there's nothing the new guy/guys will get that you have not done to her. In fact, she's scraps and you are happy to offload her to the next "customer".

3. In the meantime, get yourself a back-up, don't keep your true friends away from you. You said you travel long distances every 3 months to see her? Well there is someone that will not require that much maintenance premium and will easily replace her. Don't let your heart play you on this one, you need to use your head! When in this situations, you must be ready to anticipate things well in advance. When they happen, you will still be hurt (in your heart) but in your head, you can walk away heads high with your accounting books fully balanced or with a profit. Years from now, you might still encounter her again, older, single and a bitter woman because this is how girls walk away from good guys in their 20's and expect them to look at them in their 30's! No freaking way should that happen to you with this kind of girl.

4. But if you could care less, really, you can walk away NOW!

livedit said it all
#mind games Na na na na

you have lost all power in the relationship and she really doesn't respect you anyway because she wouldn't be ina hotel for a so called job and then text you that she met someone but said no. Then she had the nerve to ask how much is in your account

The reason for the account question is simply to weigh her options because obviously someone is taking her out and spending time with her and she wants to know now if she should keep you around just incase because if you dont have money like that she would just cut you off and move on.
What you should do is break it off now while you still have your senses.

I'm a girl but I hate drama queens. She will dump you soon or later. On the b. Account area I didn't get it. I heard Nigerian girls are so financial dependable and too demanding, how true is that

annita19:

I'm a girl but I hate drama queens. She will dump you soon or later. On the b. Account area I didn't get it. I heard Nigerian girls are so financial dependable and too demanding, how true is that

[size=30pt]1000% so true[/size]

annita19:

I'm a girl but I hate drama queens. She will dump you soon or later. On the b. Account area I didn't get it. I heard Nigerian girls are so financial dependable and too demanding, how true is that

Ok if there is one thing I cant stand in this life its STEREOTYPES or GENERALIZATIONS, and here is brownteeth agreeing to it,

SO Annita financial dependence is not particular to Nigerian girls alone, if we want to go down that lane, I could tell you Black American girls are worse and White girls are least Financially dependent on their men, So please lets stop the generalizations and not put people in a box, it shows a huge lack of intelligence

d fatter d balance,d stronger d love

@elpieda, what you quoted me doesn't really matter. Call it unintelligent speech or blah blah. I prefer physical confrontation not the other way round.

Long distance relationship in which the chick is mostly interested in your account balance and playing emotional games with you?

Break up with the broad ASAP. Too many women in the world to be wasting your time with a gold-digging ho like that.

She isn't looking for a relationship, she is looking for somebody to pay her bills for her.

guy, your time is running out on her so i guess you should get your mind prepare cos she can sack you anytime and the acting career, trust me, am a media man, i will never allow my dog to act cos the more you sleep with movie directors, the more acting time you get if you are a lady and if you are a guy then be ready to be a gay, that Nigerian movie industry for you,

Op she's met someone and she's tryna weigh both pockets.

^^^ You might have a point there

What a small word!!! . . .I know this poster very well . . . .I can say we re friends . . . yh. . . . .
But i didn't know he is in such dilemma or Quandary!!!
Well what i think on this case is that , . . . . There is something going on with ur wife nd she's so scared to breath it out to u .
Meanwhile she wanted to break up with u nd later reconsidered . . . .So probably would do that in few days to come.
So my advice to u is to sit her down nd try to know what she's up to nd her plans, . . . .Then u can decide.

What did the poster say about 'bank a/c?'
I didnt read anythn in that regards

The woman wants to know if the brother is financially stabled before she ties up herself with him.

@op
ur post is really touching considering the fact that ur girl claim she doesnt enjoy sex
well here is news-she enjoys it!
she just doesnt enjoy it with u.trust me,such things happens
the day she missed ur calls?she was getting bleeped!
jeez,i ve been in a situation like that when i was foolish and she sounded just like me(well,not in the acct balance thing though)
in my own case when my bf complained and found out about my 'pionskaing', i told him i didnt love him anymore and it ended
did i tell u i dated him for a yr but slept with him only once?for the same reason ur chic is giving u for disliking sex
i hated it with my guy but loved it with this other guy.
i later dumped my guy for the other guy
thats past anyway and i told u this so u'ld get the true picture of things
she doesnt love u and she cheats on u.
she just pities u cos she doesnt want to hurt u and because she knws u re the emotional type.
jeez,that chic wld give u the boot soon.get prepared.

She is spoiled and behaving like a spoiled child. She probably wants to know so she knows how much more she can get out of you. Ditch her, if you have other options. dont let her make you a fool. Seems to be a lot more going on with this girl. Its none of her business as she is just a gf!!! Save your money and move on!!!

Why does she want to know your accont balance ?

What a thread!,,,,anado gud thing i observe here now is dat 97% of d replies so far sound very intenlligent, wise and convincing. plx Mr. cork shud be kept at bay b4 he litters with his inconsequential replies.

Meanwhile, if i were in ur shoes, i wud prefer 2 return d flavour b4 i finally decide, Needless for much ado. '' one gud turn deserves anoda'' While watching her closely henceforth,Play similar pranks and see how she 'd react.
On ur part too, i advise u seek more knowledge abt TRUST cos reltnships hardly survive d test of time without it.

HAS THE OP GONE UNDERGROUND? Come & giv us de latest naa.

@OP I know you asked for matured minds only in here, but please allow me to be the only immature one in here? Now get this, your girl is being chowed BIG time. No offensie, just true talk.