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Am I Making A Mistake? - Romance (27) - Nairaland

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Am I Not Making A Mistake? / I May Ruin My Girlfriend's Life, If I Make A Mistake / Once Is A Mistake,Twice Is A Habbit. (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by Nobody: 8:11pm On Dec 18, 2019
dannyla:
I opened a new account to remain anonymous.
This story is a bit long but pls bear with me.

I met this man almost 2yrs ago at an event a friend invited me to. The next week, he collected my number from my friend and called me, we began talking from there and agreed to go on a date. He proposed marriage to me on the first date which I rejected. I told him that I can't marry outside my church and from the little I've heard from him, our life dreams differ. I decided to cut him off from that day and I stayed away for about 3months. Meanwhile he got my friend to introduce him to my sis, mum and another friend who happened to be from his place, I'll call her Grace.
He made them all aware of his intent towards me and my stand and asked for their help to change my mind. Grace became his biggest ally and convinced me to have another date. He asked that we date for a while and see if we can work out our differences. During the date I noticed he has a very hot and quick temper and he listens to gossip a lot so I do tell Gracethat I don't see a future with him but he was too persistent, Grace always had words of encouragement and considering the fact that for some strange reason, it was mainly married men always approach me for a relationship with stories of how they got married to a wrong woman and they are or are almost divorced, dating a single man with no kids was very tempting and I decided to give it a try.

He asked me to tell him everything about me so there are no secrets between us and I did. Starting from secondary school to that day, I told him everything, from my first kiss, the colleague who tried to rape me, my ex who lied about his marital status and disvirgined me etc. he did the same too and I felt a burden roll off my shoulder.

Few days later I began to notice changes in him especially towards my business. I thrive in a male dominated industry in a ratio of 9men to 1woman. He asked me to show him the pictures of my colleagues which I did, he also asked if they make passes at me which I said is almost inevitable but my boundaries are clear and rigid.

Fast forward to now. I noticed that whenever I drop my phone, he goes through it. Facebook, sms, WhatsApp etc. He even picks my call when I'm not close to the phone. He asked me about a certain colleague who cracks dirty jokes like how I rushed to get married (I told him I'm already married). I didn't think much about it.

He later began to complain about my partners and how I'm sleeping with them like the prostitute I am, called me an unrepentant liar, unsubmisive, manipulating etc. Said he regrets asking for my hand at all and he's just waiting forthe day he'll catch me redhanded so he can dump my sorry a*s.
I told him to end it now cus I'm fed up, family came in and I later found out that Grace has been telling a lot of lies against hoping to get him for herself as well as hate filled advises from some aggrieved friends who felt ladies from my tribe are no good and just there to "chop money". Apologies were said and received and we continued.

Another time I visited him and we had an argument, he gave me several heavy knocks on my head and I developed a headache and began to insult him which resultedin more heavy knocks. I broke up with him and left. Later my mum called him to ask why he laid his hands on me, he denied it swearing with his life. Said I insulted him and he lost his temper and insulted me back that he's sorry. He began to drop messages everywhere and I eventually gave in.

3rd incident happened on our way back from an event. He saw a message from a colleague he told me to stop doing business with cus he feels the man has his eyes on me which is totally not true. He flared up, stopped the car and was even threatening to beat me up. I came down from his car and stood by the roadside. He came down too and gave me the insult of my life in full public view and glare and told me to enter the car which I refused. I had no money on me and had to beg a stranger for money. By that time he was coming back, he quickly took a picture of both of us and sent it to everybody of how he caught me in the act with my lover on the road. He called me and said that if he must marry me, I must break my business sim card and look for a wife friendly occupation or sit at home.

He later apologised over it. Meanwhile he and my sis don't flow as before as he once called her a prostitute.

I want to call it quits but everyone around me feels it's a mistake and he is saying everything out of anger and if I'm patient enough, he will change completely.

I must admit that he has changed alot since we met but the progress compared to the timeframe and the heat I face everyday is nothing to write home about.

He loves me to a fault and I don't know if I can find someone who loves me like him but his other attitude is sniffing life out of me. Do I stay or quit?
Thanks for reading and pardon any typos


There is always a FVCKED up story you ladies come up with when it comes to how you lost your VIRGINITY. You always try to make it look sympathetic and place some kind of fault on the guy you opened your legs to like pair of compasses.
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by Nobody: 8:14pm On Dec 18, 2019
Justmemyself1:


I am pushed to say something.. It's unbelievable how that guy can have so much of a grip on you.... Is there no responsible and trusted male figure in your family? Mum's younger or elder brother, dad's brother or elder brother, etc, that you can pour out your soul to and who can help is ensuring that whatever decision you take, if you decide to leave this relationship, does not result in the type of abusive repercussion you fear?

You have only been mentioning friend, sister, aunt, women here and there. Where are the trusted and responsible male figures in your family? I think this is the time they would be most useful - to back you up. Think along this direction.

Nice suggestion, thanks
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by Nobody: 8:22pm On Dec 18, 2019
dannyla:


Nice suggestion, thanks

Nice suggestions kor nice suggestion ni.

I know say you no go hear word......... say make you run.

WELL YOU ARE JUST BEING A TYPICAL WOMAN. THAT'S THEY WAY MOST OF YOU BEHAVE, YOU ARE MOSTLY ATTRACTED TO MEN WHO END UP TREATING YOU AS TRASH.
Iloveu2:



PUZZLED I still am, but I have stopped being PERPLEXED when I see a good looking man who chooses to be kind, caring, generous and gentle and HONEST to a 'women' yet he is being labled as a MUMU, a MUGU, a FOOL behind his back just for being NICE to her.

But she is head over heels for a dude she knows very well that he cares less and treats women like SH!T. Yet, she is very willing to be one of his many SH!TS to be wiped with the toilet paper and thrown away into the SH!T CHAMBER call soak away, a home of DIRT.


WOMEN GROW YOUR FISH BRAIN

1 Like

Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by annford: 9:50pm On Dec 18, 2019
dannyla:


Thanks and I'm sorry about your mum



Thank you so much. Please make your choice and take your stand. Domestic violence is not a hoax or a joke.

1 Like

Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by avast01(m): 10:30pm On Dec 18, 2019
dannyla:
I opened a new account to remain anonymous.
This story is a bit long but pls bear with me.


Your story brings to mind the widely reported, very sad murder of an mtn staff (and brutal attack of her mum) in Ilorin by her ex who (as you well put it) loved her to a fault.

I really hope the dude let you be completely if you succeed in leaving him.

1 Like

Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by Nobody: 6:35am On Dec 19, 2019
Hermionegranger:
If you want to prevent this, gather courage and tell your mum your experience by yourself. It would sound better coming from you than him.

If you really want to fulfill your mother's wish of marrying honourably please RUN FROM THIS MAN. He's the textbook definition of a narcissist. He'll murder you one day and marry someone else to replace you. He might not even wait until you're dead to do so.

If you want to know what your future with him would look like when you marry him, then I strongly advice you to just google about the experiences of people who suffered narcissistic abuse from their spouses. Maybe it would open your eyes and help you see the kind of person you want to involve yourself with.

I repeat RUN FROM THIS MAN. I pray God gives you the strength to do so

I did look up the narcissist and you're right soo many similarities.
Thank you
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by Nobody: 6:44am On Dec 19, 2019
Ozonlayer:


I need to talk to you. I sent you a PM. Kindly reply..
Can't reply PMs I used a disposable mail to signup for this account
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by Nobody: 6:59am On Dec 19, 2019
WrathOfHadez:
what was the message he saw from your colleague who he felt was after you?

A property advert.
His anger was that I still communicate with the person
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by Nobody: 7:00am On Dec 19, 2019
DCmonster:
Pocochantas, leave that asshole. I got you anytime, anyday baby. I would be home soon. I miss you like crazily, like crazy Poco baby.

Lol, I'm not Pocochantas oooo grin grin
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by Nobody: 7:18am On Dec 19, 2019
avast01:


Your story brings to mind the very sad murder of an mtn staff (and brutal attack of her mum) in Ilorin by her ex who (as you well put it) loved her to a fault.

I really hope the dude let you be completely if you succeed in leaving him.
Wow, very sorry about that.

I hope so too, thanks for sharing
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by Nobody: 7:20am On Dec 19, 2019
Iloveu2:


Nice suggestions kor nice suggestion ni.

I know say you no go hear word......... say make you run.

WELL YOU ARE JUST BEING A TYPICAL WOMAN. THAT'S THEY WAY MOST OF YOU BEHAVE, YOU ARE MOSTLY ATTRACTED TO MEN WHO END UP TREATING YOU AS TRASH.


Thank you

1 Like

Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by Nobody: 7:21am On Dec 19, 2019
Iloveu2:


There is always a FVCKED up story you ladies come up with when it comes to how you lost your VIRGINITY. You always try to make it look sympathetic and place some kind of fault on the guy you opened your legs to like pair of compasses.
You have been noticed

1 Like

Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by Hermionegranger(f): 11:13am On Dec 19, 2019
dannyla:


I did look up the narcissist and you're right soo many similarities.
Thank you
You're welcome. Stay safe

2 Likes

Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by luckshine007: 2:02pm On Dec 19, 2019
dannyla:


For clarity:
1. Real estate
2. His office
3. A property advert
4. He actually does have women around him daily.
5. Lol, I should sit there while he threatened to hit me

I look forward to your reply
I appreciate your reply,
All I see in these is that He doesn’t trust you and the same time loves you very much which is not healthy to him and also to you. Please next time selectively chose what you tell your spouse concerning your past.

1 Like

Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by WrathOfHadez(m): 5:35pm On Dec 19, 2019
dannyla:


A property advert.
His anger was that I still communicate with the person
I hope you realise your husband is within his rights to feel uncomfortable over casual communication between you and a male he knows has attraction or interest in you.

Doesn't matter the content of the text. Like warri saying goes; na from clap dem take dey enter dance.
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by Coal007: 7:12pm On Dec 19, 2019
Yo trimmed to get yosef killed woman

1 Like

Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by gudugudumeje: 11:54am On Jan 19, 2020
Dr.Lekan Are is dead. While alive he was such a reknowned bully and oppressor of people especially younger people and employees and stakeholders wherever he was chairman or CEO. With his cronies his bullying is reckless. Younger generations of GCI old boys can tell... In their experience they had to avoid him going old boys separate class-by-class a few decades ago. How he used to bully chairs of Audit commitees of companies he was board chairman; changing them forcibly with impunity. He was often found constituting several nuisance to other Yoruba ethnic subnationalities not submiting his want to having Ibadan and Oyos' dominate othess thrive. Or his great intrigues and clannishness in how it denied Prof.Chukwubmeka Ike of in-succession chairmanship of Univ.Press Plc.(UPPlc.)...That is as replica of his Univ.College, Ibadan days some of his mates woul say. Dominating UPPlc.as board chairman(1983 - 2019) with impunity, one ttought he was going to carry it away tied to his grave pit. What a mess he was to...
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by gudugudumeje: 12:00pm On Jan 19, 2020
Dr.Lekan Are is dead. While alive he was such a reknowned bully and oppressor of people especially younger people and employees and stakeholders wherever he was chairman or CEO. With his cronies his bullying is reckless. Younger generations of GCI old boys can tell... In their experience they had to avoid him going old boys separate class-by-class a few decades ago. How he used to bully chairs of Audit commitees of companies he was board chairman; changing them forcibly with impunity. He was often found constituting several nuisance to other Yoruba ethnic subnationalities not submiting his want to having Ibadan and Oyos' dominate othess thrive. Or his great intrigues and clannishness in how it denied Prof.Chukwubmeka Ike of in-succession chairmanship of Univ.Press Plc.(UPPlc.)...That is as replica of his Univ.College, Ibadan days some of his mates woul say. Dominating UPPlc.as board chairman(1983 - 2019) with impunity, one ttought he was going to carry it away tied to his grave pit. What a mess he was to..
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by gudugudumeje: 1:28pm On Jan 19, 2020
Dr.Lekan Are,Ibadan. Dr.Lekan Are is dead. While alive he was such a reknowned bully and oppressor of people especially younger people and employees and stakeholders wherever he was chairman or CEO. With his cronies his bullying is reckless. Younger generations of GCI old boys can tell... In their experience they had to avoid him going old boys separate class-by-class a few decades ago. How he used to bully chairs of Audit commitees of companies he was board chairman; changing them forcibly with impunity. He was often found constituting several nuisance to other Yoruba ethnic subnationalities not submiting his want to having Ibadan and Oyos' dominate othess thrive. Or his great intrigues and clannishness in how it denied Prof.Chukwubmeka Ike of in-succession chairmanship of Univ.Press Plc.(UPPlc.)...That is as replica of his Univ.College, Ibadan days some of his mates woul say. Dominating UPPlc.as board chairman(1983 - 2019) with impunity, one ttought he was going to carry it away
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by gudugudumeje: 1:31pm On Jan 19, 2020
Dr.Lekan Are,Ibadan. Dr.Lekan Are is dead. While alive he was such a reknowned bully and oppressor of people especially younger people and employees and stakeholders wherever he was chairman or CEO. With his cronies his bullying is reckless. Younger generations of GCI old boys can tell... In their experience they had to avoid him going old boys separate class-by-class a few decades ago. How he used to bully chairs of Audit commitees of companies he was board chairman; changing them forcibly with impunity. He was often found constituting several nuisance to other Yoruba ethnic subnationalities not submiting his want to having Ibadan and Oyos' dominate othess thrive. Or his great intrigues and clannishness in how it denied Prof.Chukwubmeka Ike of in-succession chairmanship of Univ.Press Plc.(UPPlc.)...That is as replica of his Univ.College, Ibadan days some of his mates woul say. Dominating UPPlc.as board chairman(1983 - 2019) with impunity, one thought he was going to carry it away...
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by nelklyn(m): 2:25pm On Jan 19, 2020
I opened a new account to remain anonymous.
This story is a bit long but pls bear with me.

I met this man almost 2yrs ago at an event a friend invited me to. The next week, he collected my number from my friend and called me, we began talking from there and agreed to go on a date. He proposed marriage to me on the first date which I rejected. I told him that I can't marry outside my church and from the little I've heard from him, our life dreams differ. I decided to cut him off from that day and I stayed away for about 3months. Meanwhile he got my friend to introduce him to my sis, mum and another friend who happened to be from his place, I'll call her Grace.
He made them all aware of his intent towards me and my stand and asked for their help to change my mind. Grace became his biggest ally and convinced me to have another date. He asked that we date for a while and see if we can work out our differences. During the date I noticed he has a very hot and quick temper and he listens to gossip a lot so I do tell Gracethat I don't see a future with him but he was too persistent, Grace always had words of encouragement and considering the fact that for some strange reason, it was mainly married men always approach me for a relationship with stories of how they got married to a wrong woman and they are or are almost divorced, dating a single man with no kids was very tempting and I decided to give it a try.

He asked me to tell him everything about me so there are no secrets between us and I did. Starting from secondary school to that day, I told him everything, from my first kiss, the colleague who tried to rape me, my ex who lied about his marital status and disvirgined me etc. he did the same too and I felt a burden roll off my shoulder.

Few days later I began to notice changes in him especially towards my business. I thrive in a male dominated industry in a ratio of 9men to 1woman. He asked me to show him the pictures of my colleagues which I did, he also asked if they make passes at me which I said is almost inevitable but my boundaries are clear and rigid.

Fast forward to now. I noticed that whenever I drop my phone, he goes through it. Facebook, sms, WhatsApp etc. He even picks my call when I'm not close to the phone. He asked me about a certain colleague who cracks dirty jokes like how I rushed to get married (I told him I'm already married). I didn't think much about it.

He later began to complain about my partners and how I'm sleeping with them like the prostitute I am, called me an unrepentant liar, unsubmisive, manipulating etc. Said he regrets asking for my hand at all and he's just waiting forthe day he'll catch me redhanded so he can dump my sorry a*s.
I told him to end it now cus I'm fed up, family came in and I later found out that Grace has been telling a lot of lies against hoping to get him for herself as well as hate filled advises from some aggrieved friends who felt ladies from my tribe are no good and just there to "chop money". Apologies were said and received and we continued.

Another time I visited him and we had an argument, he gave me several heavy knocks on my head and I developed a headache and began to insult him which resultedin more heavy knocks. I broke up with him and left. Later my mum called him to ask why he laid his hands on me, he denied it swearing with his life. Said I insulted him and he lost his temper and insulted me back that he's sorry. He began to drop messages everywhere and I eventually gave in.

3rd incident happened on our way back from an event. He saw a message from a colleague he told me to stop doing business with cus he feels the man has his eyes on me which is totally not true. He flared up, stopped the car and was even threatening to beat me up. I came down from his car and stood by the roadside. He came down too and gave me the insult of my life in full public view and glare and told me to enter the car which I refused. I had no money on me and had to beg a stranger for money. By that time he was coming back, he quickly took a picture of both of us and sent it to everybody of how he caught me in the act with my lover on the road. He called me and said that if he must marry me, I must break my business sim card and look for a wife friendly occupation or sit at home.

He later apologised over it. Meanwhile he and my sis don't flow as before as he once called her a prostitute.

I want to call it quits but everyone around me feels it's a mistake and he is saying everything out of anger and if I'm patient enough, he will change completely.

I must admit that he has changed alot since we met but the progress compared to the timeframe and the heat I face everyday is nothing to write home about.

He loves me to a fault and I don't know if I can find someone who loves me like him but his other attitude is sniffing life out of me. Do I stay or quit?
Thanks for reading and pardon any typos


If all you typed are true... I’ve got just one question for you?

What da f*ck...You wan die? Please leave like yesterday already! Omg undecided
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by mcrity46: 9:35am On May 22, 2020
bigcee:
Believe me you're a simp.
Your father is the simp
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by dannyla20: 7:28pm On Jan 12, 2021
Hello everyone, happy new year 2021
This is dannyla with a new account.
I just thought I should share an update on how things turned out 1yr+ later.

This thread was a bombshell to me, I got so much responses, I could feel the concern and pity of the commenters which I appreciate so much.

I made up my mind to leave him but I didn't know how, there was this fear about what he'll do if I leave. I didn't reply DMs because I didn't want to drag anyone in. First thing I tried to do was to be financially stable, I went back to my Business and got something going, it wasn't easy but remembering all he did gave me courage, it took me about 6months to be able to stand. Those months were hell as some of it were in the lockdown but I thank God for support, there were big fights cus he beat me up and tore my cheque book and my sister went to challenge him, he beat her up and her boyfriend got guys to beat him up as well.
He threatened my family and I reported him to the police and he had to sign an undertaking that he won't try anything funny, he called to say that he doesn't have to attack me physically and there are plenty spiritual means. I told him to do his worst. I had to fast for some days just to be careful.

Leaving him was like coming out of a shell after 3yrs, I was able to meet old friends and everyone wondered where I have been. Being able to talk to people on the road without some kinda fear of being interrogated later, being able to attend meetings, travel, hangout with friends, post pictures on social media etc felt like privilege from heaven.
I met nice men as well but I don't want to rush things, I still feel scared of any kinda relationship, I know they're not anything like him but I don't want to carry any toxic mentality to a new relationship cus I've almost forgotten how to be normal.

My advise to everyone out there is:
Stay away from narcissists, obsession is not love, it's a crazy and twisted feeling that breaks people.
There are thousands of good people out there, don't stay in an abusive relationship for anything.

If you're in an abusive relationship, know this: your abuser only has as much power as you let them wield, you can leave them and nothing will happen, they're not as powerful as they claim. Nobody will judge you and there are hundreds of good people waiting to meet you. If you don't leave, it won't get better, it'll keep getting worse till it ends in death. Trust me, that person is not the will of God for you, forget about all the prophesies saying otherwise. God speaks to everyone of us who cares to listen, He doesn't need to speak to a prophet somewhere concerning your marriage unless you ask him to. If I could leave my ex and stand, you can do so too, lots of love kiss kiss kiss

Cc
Okirewaju TheGreatIYANU 9JAFULLBREED milkywise fertilewomb Triniti thorpido keeki
Bukatyne babythug jenifer007 DoubleEngine007
Macsjebs poshestmina Fountainofyouth sisisioge chii8 Houseofglam7 LadySarah ammyluv2002 Yohans ednut1 ishilove

4 Likes

Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by Yohans(m): 7:19pm On May 01, 2021
dannyla20:
Hello everyone, happy new year 2021
This is dannyla with a new account.
I just thought I should share an update on how things turned out 1yr+ later.

This thread was a bombshell to me, I got so much responses, I could feel the concern and pity of the commenters which I appreciate so much.

I made up my mind to leave him but I didn't know how, there was this fear about what he'll do if I leave. I didn't reply DMs because I didn't want to drag anyone in. First thing I tried to do was to be financially stable, I went back to my Business and got something going, it wasn't easy but remembering all he did gave me courage, it took me about 6months to be able to stand. Those months were hell as some of it were in the lockdown but I thank God for support, there were big fights cus he beat me up and tore my cheque book and my sister went to challenge him, he beat her up and her boyfriend got guys to beat him up as well.
He threatened my family and I reported him to the police and he had to sign an undertaking that he won't try anything funny, he called to say that he doesn't have to attack me physically and there are plenty spiritual means. I told him to do his worst. I had to fast for some days just to be careful.

Leaving him was like coming out of a shell after 3yrs, I was able to meet old friends and everyone wondered where I have been. Being able to talk to people on the road without some kinda fear of being interrogated later, being able to attend meetings, travel, hangout with friends, post pictures on social media etc felt like privilege from heaven.
I met nice men as well but I don't want to rush things, I still feel scared of any kinda relationship, I know they're not anything like him but I don't want to carry any toxic mentality to a new relationship cus I've almost forgotten how to be normal.

My advise to everyone out there is:
Stay away from narcissists, obsession is not love, it's a crazy and twisted feeling that breaks people.
There are thousands of good people out there, don't stay in an abusive relationship for anything.

If you're in an abusive relationship, know this: your abuser only has as much power as you let them wield, you can leave them and nothing will happen, they're not as powerful as they claim. Nobody will judge you and there are hundreds of good people waiting to meet you. If you don't leave, it won't get better, it'll keep getting worse till it ends in death. Trust me, that person is not the will of God for you, forget about all the prophesies saying otherwise. God speaks to everyone of us who cares to listen, He doesn't need to speak to a prophet somewhere concerning your marriage unless you ask him to. If I could leave my ex and stand, you can do so too, lots of love kiss kiss kiss

Cc
Okirewaju TheGreatIYANU 9JAFULLBREED milkywise fertilewomb Triniti thorpido keeki
Bukatyne babythug jenifer007 DoubleEngine007
Macsjebs poshestmina Fountainofyouth sisisioge chii8 Houseofglam7 LadySarah ammyluv2002 Yohans ednut1 ishilove
Nice.

1 Like

Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by lolu2019: 7:44pm On May 01, 2021
If u don't know how to run,I will call usain bolt for u.women beaters are animals.
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by VicM6: 1:12pm On May 03, 2021
I opened a new account to remain anonymous.
This story is a bit long but pls bear with me.

I met this man almost 2yrs ago at an event a friend invited me to. The next week, he collected my number from my friend and called me, we began talking from there and agreed to go on a date. He proposed marriage to me on the first date which I rejected. I told him that I can't marry outside my church and from the little I've heard from him, our life dreams differ. I decided to cut him off from that day and I stayed away for about 3months. Meanwhile he got my friend to introduce him to my sis, mum and another friend who happened to be from his place, I'll call her Grace.
He made them all aware of his intent towards me and my stand and asked for their help to change my mind. Grace became his biggest ally and convinced me to have another date. He asked that we date for a while and see if we can work out our differences. During the date I noticed he has a very hot and quick temper and he listens to gossip a lot so I do tell Gracethat I don't see a future with him but he was too persistent, Grace always had words of encouragement and considering the fact that for some strange reason, it was mainly married men always approach me for a relationship with stories of how they got married to a wrong woman and they are or are almost divorced, dating a single man with no kids was very tempting and I decided to give it a try.

He asked me to tell him everything about me so there are no secrets between us and I did. Starting from secondary school to that day, I told him everything, from my first kiss, the colleague who tried to rape me, my ex who lied about his marital status and disvirgined me etc. he did the same too and I felt a burden roll off my shoulder.

Few days later I began to notice changes in him especially towards my business. I thrive in a male dominated industry in a ratio of 9men to 1woman. He asked me to show him the pictures of my colleagues which I did, he also asked if they make passes at me which I said is almost inevitable but my boundaries are clear and rigid.

Fast forward to now. I noticed that whenever I drop my phone, he goes through it. Facebook, sms, WhatsApp etc. He even picks my call when I'm not close to the phone. He asked me about a certain colleague who cracks dirty jokes like how I rushed to get married (I told him I'm already married). I didn't think much about it.

He later began to complain about my partners and how I'm sleeping with them like the prostitute I am, called me an unrepentant liar, unsubmisive, manipulating etc. Said he regrets asking for my hand at all and he's just waiting forthe day he'll catch me redhanded so he can dump my sorry a*s.
I told him to end it now cus I'm fed up, family came in and I later found out that Grace has been telling a lot of lies against hoping to get him for herself as well as hate filled advises from some aggrieved friends who felt ladies from my tribe are no good and just there to "chop money". Apologies were said and received and we continued.

Another time I visited him and we had an argument, he gave me several heavy knocks on my head and I developed a headache and began to insult him which resultedin more heavy knocks. I broke up with him and left. Later my mum called him to ask why he laid his hands on me, he denied it swearing with his life. Said I insulted him and he lost his temper and insulted me back that he's sorry. He began to drop messages everywhere and I eventually gave in.

3rd incident happened on our way back from an event. He saw a message from a colleague he told me to stop doing business with cus he feels the man has his eyes on me which is totally not true. He flared up, stopped the car and was even threatening to beat me up. I came down from his car and stood by the roadside. He came down too and gave me the insult of my life in full public view and glare and told me to enter the car which I refused. I had no money on me and had to beg a stranger for money. By that time he was coming back, he quickly took a picture of both of us and sent it to everybody of how he caught me in the act with my lover on the road. He called me and said that if he must marry me, I must break my business sim card and look for a wife friendly occupation or sit at home.

He later apologised over it. Meanwhile he and my sis don't flow as before as he once called her a prostitute.

I want to call it quits but everyone around me feels it's a mistake and he is saying everything out of anger and if I'm patient enough, he will change completely.

I must admit that he has changed alot since we met but the progress compared to the timeframe and the heat I face everyday is nothing to write home about.

He loves me to a fault and I don't know if I can find someone who loves me like him but his other attitude is sniffing life out of me. Do I stay or quit?
Thanks for reading and pardon any typos

Dear Op, am sorry to say this but the fact is that you are very stupid and foolish for seeking help from us when your coconut brain can't tell you what to do.... infact buhari brain is more active than yours......... Well what's my concern, get married to him let him send you to an early grave so that i can type that RIP to you...... spit.
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by adeg(m): 1:38pm On May 03, 2021
RUN FOR YOUR LIFE

Stay if you want to die prematurely

bukatyne:


What is your definition of love?

The question is do you love yourself?

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