Sunday, December 12, 2010
[size=14pt]When men don't wear wedding bands[/size]

Kemi Lawal


The wedding ring is the most famous and instantly recognisable symbol of the joining of a man and woman together as husband and wife in the institution of marriage. As simple as it may look, the wedding ring has a long and widespread history, with diverse accounts being told by different cultures.



When men don't wear wedding bands





Rarely is there a wedding without a wedding ring. The significance of every other thing about a wedding pales beside that of a ring. Imagine what would happen if the couple discover the bridesmaid forgot to come along with the rings. Such an incident would be labelled a taboo. Exchanging of rings between the bride and groom constitutes an utmost part of a wedding.

By wearing rings on the fourth finger after marriage, a married couple symbolically declares their eternal love for each other and are expected to wear and brandish the piece of jewellery wherever they go.

A close look at societal trend, these days, reveals that not only are rings going into extinction among married couples, with the men emerging the worst culprits, little or no importance is attached to it, especially by those who have been married for a number of years and still counting.

Providing insight into why some persons, especially the male folk, prefer to go without their wedding rings, Dipo Olatunji, an accountant with a multinational who has been married for a little above two years said, "I have put on some weight since I got married. As such, the ring no longer fits and I don't see why I should expend thousands of naira getting another one as my wife has suggested. My wife is particularly miffed by my action and she picks up quarrels with me at intervals over my outright refusal to get another ring."

Tony claims he is very practical and that his decision not to adorn a ring is not borne out of a desire to indulge in extra-marital affairs. "I can't speak for other men because I know I am unusual in thinking this way. I would never wear a wedding ring because I refuse to wear jewellery due to my own personal beliefs. I could never own any jewellery or anything else that is purely decorative. I am a practical person first and foremost and I believe everything about me and everything I own should have a use and a function of some sort. That is why I do not own anything decorative at my home either."

An oil rig worker, Chinedu, says he only wore his ring for the first few months after his marriage to make his wife happy. "I work as a drill man and the ring becomes uncomfortable when I am at work. Initially, I resorted to putting it back on after work, but being an absent-minded person, I sometimes fail to remember."

"I have been married for almost two decades and only stopped wearing my ring last year, yet my wife would not let me be," says Eze. Continuing, he adds that his decision to do away with his ring is because he had been wearing it for too long. "Everyone already knows I am married and I don't really need a ring to impress my marital status on them. With a ring or without one, I can cheat on my wife if I choose to. Some ladies even prefer married men; so, what difference would my wearing a ring make?"

Tonye does not like women to know he is married and he is not shying away from that fact. "I don't like to let other women know that I am already married. I think that is one reason why I don't like to wear a wedding ring. Of course, when a girl knows that a man is already married, she will not flirt with him anymore. Some guys still want to flirt, even when they are already married, and I fall into that category. For some men, it might be they are not happy with their wives or because they do not love their wives anymore, or they are already separated. I still love my wife but desire concubines."

http://odili.net/news/source/2010/dec/12/809.html

I must have one of those rare marriages because, we did not get wedding rings for our marriage.
Our bond is sealed in our hearts and not on our fingers.
At some stage we decided that maybe we would get rings at our tenth anniversary, but when the time drew near, we had this feeling that it might bring us bad luck.
Strangely enough, not having a wedding ring makes me feel more bonded. How can a piece of cold lifeless metal symbolise my love.

mutter:

I must have one of those rare marriages because, we did not get wedding rings for our marriage.
Our bond is sealed in our hearts and not on our fingers.
At some stage we decided that maybe we would get rings at our tenth anniversary, but when the time drew near, we had this feeling that it might bring us bad luck.
Strangely enough, not having a wedding ring makes me feel more bonded. How can a piece of cold lifeless metal symbolise my love.

It doesn't really but it does mark the man out so that women will notice that he is taken at first glance. Women are good at noticing wedding bands more than men. So, even if you don't want or need one, it is advisable to permanently weld one on your husband's fingers. Men will be men and many of them will prefer not to be noticed by the next chic as married.

when u wear ur wedding ring u don't need to tell old friends u are married as a woman it has become part of my dressing without it i don't feel complete as for my husband he has not removed it since i put it on him he sleeps birth and do everyting with his ring and dat makes me feel ontop of the world even when i tell him to remove it at times he insist no well for other people it does not matter but to me with dat ring on my husband's hand i feel loved and feel he still want me as his wife

Aloy a man can tuck a ring away when he wants to and besides some women do not even care if a man is married.
Anyway, anyone looking at my man knows he is married even without a ring. He is 50 now
Besides I cannot swear for him but he has never ever given me cause to think he is cheating on me. Thank God this has never been one of the issues in our marriage.
My husband is not a possession and I have no control over him. His commitment to the marriage he carries inside him and not on his finger.

.

mutter:

Aloy a man can tuck a ring away when he wants to and besides some women do not even care if a man is married.
Anyway, anyone looking at my man knows he is married even without a ring. He is 50 now 
Besides I cannot swear for him but he has never ever given me cause to think he is cheating on me. Thank God this has never been one of the issues in our marriage.
My husband is not a possession and I have no control over him. His commitment to the marriage he carries inside him and not on his finger.

The catch here is that men are very careless and forgetful. If they start removing the ring whenever they want to cheat, they are bound to be forgetting it either in their pocket or car when they come home. Now, a clever woman should ask him why his ring left his finger in the first place. Thank God every man is not an oil rig worker or gynecologist.

@ Question: Yes ^{most of the time}

Wumine:

@ Question: Yes ^{most of the time}

Way to go.

'/'/

If they start removing the ring whenever they want to cheat, they are bound to be forgetting it either in their pocket or car when they come home. Now, a clever woman should ask him why his ring left his finger in the first place

This is a very presumptuous statement.

As most peps here will testify, wearing a wedding ring has never been a barrier to infidelity - where both women and men are concerned. Anyway, that was never the purpose of wearing wedding rings.
I stopped wearing mine as it was constantly getting in the way and i kept losing it. Being a very physical person, doing DIY, working out in the gym, playing basketball, any form of jewelry can be a health hazard, and can lead to some very serious injuries. I have almost severed my finger by catching a ring on a basketball rim! And having to take it off, then remember to put it back on was simply a constant struggle.
I've forgotten it in toilets (when i take it off to wash my hands), i left it on a plane, in a restaurant, in my Jeans pocket (and the dry cleaner found it), etc. It came to a head after i left it in a hotel bathroom in Paris, and it had to be mailed back to me.

Put simply, if you are a physical person, using your hands a lot, then wearing a ring is simply uncomfortable and distracting.

my husband works in construction and due to the nature of his work, finger jewelry is not advisable. the last time i saw his wedding band on his finger was on our wedding day. in my opinion, a ring does not make a man or woman faithful, there are people out there who still screw around with their wedding rings on. my husband will be the first to tell any girl that over flirts with him "hold up, I'm a happily married man"

pslm23:

. my husband will be the first to tell any girl that over flirts with him "hold up, I'm a happily married man"

I will only believe that information if it came from the ladies themselves.

Aloy+Emeka:

I will only believe that information if it came from the ladies themselves.

well, unfortunately, that's one information u'll never get to hear. don't really care if u or anybody believes it, i've seen it happen first hand and his friends have told me.

No. Men may keep off their wedding bands for other reasons than the intention to maintain extra-marital affairs.
The wedding band does not stop women from jumping into bed with the married men.
But it gets uncomfortable(especially with one-night-stands) for the single women seeing it since it sometimes has a reality-shock of several occurences while being seen with these married men.
So, the married men may sometimes keep the wedding rings off to avoid the discomfort from the other party or some 'guilt' pangs.
But not with the married women.

Vote:Sometimes.

there are some despetate chicks that don't regard the wedding band anyways. so soetimes it doesn't really matter if the man wears it or not.

Mine has not left my fingers since I said I DO. I am sure wify will spend her last dime 2 replace mine if I misplace it

I don't believe in wedding rings I'm not comfortable wearing any ring on my finger, I don't even like wristwatches! I like to be free. My wife too doesn't care neither of us wear our wedding rings so no probs

@OP How far, take it easy naoow,haba!!. ave you considered that Wedding Rings can wear-out the skin around your finger till it turns into a sore?

It is simply a tradition and can become a bore, I have not worn mine in a year, but you can clearly notice the fair-skinned mark it has left behind. and get this! Single and Married Girls do prefer married men who proudly wear their weddign ring. Curiously, i never notice any marks on fingers of women who wear their rings all the time? is there some Bojuoo Bojuoo going on?