Is this adviceable for any reason whatsoever bearing a child outside marriage? a couple of guys home and abroad believes much in this ideology, you may state your reasons if any

D Q is must one marry b4 havin a child?

If you consider the advantages of growing up with both parents in the same home, I think the benefits are immeasurable.

People can marry have the child together and divorce. This results in a broken home so I don't see the difference as the risks are the same.

If they are living in the same house and are planning a future then no problem. If its just bf and gf who just want to have a kid and not make plans for their future together then no!!

Osama10:

If you consider the advantages of growing up with both parents in the same home, I think the benefits are immeasurable.

great point.

Osama10:

If you consider the advantages of growing up with both parents in the same home, I think the benefits are immeasurable.

Some kids born out of wedlock are raised in a home where both parents are present.

Topic: It's a subjective decision as well as opinion but, I don't see sense in deliberately having a chid outta wedlock. Why not legalize it? I mean, if you can have his child, he should be suitable. No?

the question is must on have a child because you are in a relationship just because you can?

Having a child out of wedlock sometimes happen. Personally, I do not want to have any children out of wedlock. I want to be married, before I start having children.

OP.
Marriage should come before the children . . .That's the religious and the propper way!

We are all imperfect and sometimes things we don't plan for happens at times.

Having a child deliberately out of wedlock is definitely wrong and there is no two way about this.

^^^Talking from souvenir

D-sense:

^^^Talking from souvenir

You don come again today abi?

No be you call me on phone se una dey miss me?

For where now, abi them call you from coven?

^^You don die today

Me myself na night man no lele.

@poster
does a child with married parents is better off than the one with unmarried parents. nope!
does a child with married parents is assured of a fruitful/successful upbringing. nope!
does being married makes any difference when a couple are raising a child. nope!

so the only advice i will give anyone is to make sure that they are two to raise a child but, if they aint, then its not the end of the world as it CAN be done. (just easier when you are two doing it)

Will one party be responsible for the child's upbringing?if yes then i don't know what to say but i know its best for a kid to be raised by both parents.but if both parties will do the raising of the kid what the hell stops em from getting married.

MRbrownJAY:

@poster
does a child with married parents is better off than the one with unmarried parents. nope!
does  a child with married parents is assured of a fruitful/successful upbringing. nope!
does being married makes any difference when a couple are raising a child. nope!

so the only advice i will give anyone is to make sure that they are two to raise a child but, if they aint, then its not the end of the world as it CAN be done. (just easier when you are two doing it)

Erm have you checked your statistics of recent? Don't pretend you are ignorant - everyone knows that children with married parents are better off than children with divorced/single/uncommitted parents who are more likely to commit crimes, do worse in school etc.
Also, irrespective of the divorce rates, married couples stay committed to each other more often and longer than co-cohabiting couples. As for single parents - that's a whole diff case.
I don't have time to explain all the issues to you - There has been a lot of research on this very issue. Google it if you want or stay in denial.

here is one:
http://www.livestrong.com/article/182808-unmarried-couples-vs-married-couples/

Just but 2 opposition sofar, @ Missy b and Osama10 you guys didn't backup your stance.

This is a situation of LOVE, a party involved in the relationship needs to protect his/her love for the other for some reason like distance? or he may be planning on a 'not returning so soon' journey. Are these reasons enough to get her pregnant out of wedlock and what if they did not eventualy get married in the long run

Girl846:

Erm have you checked your statistics of recent? Don't pretend you are ignorant - everyone knows that children with married parents are better off than children with divorced/single/uncommitted parents who are more likely to commit crimes, do worse in school etc.
Also, irrespective of the divorce rates, married couples stay committed to each other more often and longer than co-cohabiting couples. As for single parents - that's a whole diff case.
I don't have time to explain all the issues to you - There has been a lot of research on this very issue. Google it if you want or stay in denial.

here is one:
http://www.livestrong.com/article/182808-unmarried-couples-vs-married-couples/

You have spoken the truth, When I saw his reply I just shook my head.The west has blinded their perception of what is right and normal.

Well, children are not supposed to be born outside of a marriage . . . . just like sex and cohabitation! But what the heck, anything goes these days!

Me I'll like tobe married before I start having children.

No offence but if I get pregnant for a guy I dont want to marry or I dont plan to marry, I'm not keeping it!

@girl846/Osama
the fact that you even believe that married couples are better parents than unmarried ones is what is alarming. i guess thats YOUR perception of life, go out a little and look around you, you might be surprised of whats happening out there.

the important point in this issue is having TWO adults raising that child in a safe environment irrespective of being married or not. . . . . . . . . . unless you can show us all what "marriage" has to do with anything when it comes to raising a child. as i said earlier, its better to have 2 parents regardless of married or not. but if you can come upwith facts that marriage makes a child's life better then i am all ears!
IF YOUR CLAIM WAS RIGHT THEN NIGERIA WOULD BE A CRIMELESS COUNTRY FULL OF BETTER OFF CHILDREN, ROTFLMAO!!!!! unless you want to claim that there is less crimes there than in the west?!

just because Africans(and religious fools) view single parenthood or unmarried parents as wrong/bad doesnt mean the whole word believe in this foolishness. the silly belief that marriage makes people better/happier, give me a break and put that bible/qur'an down!


as for your claim that children with married parents are better in school and more likely to do crimes i rest my case because you have clearly no knowledge of what you are blabbing about.

@Uju
here is my question to you:
- if you met the right guy and fell pregnant but he was not ready to go down the aisle yet, would you think that this child, growing up, would be worse off than if you guys were married?

^^^ You know I don't have any personal convinctions about which child is better off, those raised by married parents and those born out of wedluck. Like I said before, anything goes this days!

For me it's not even about bringing up the child alone and wondering about how he or she will tun out . . . it's about having to explain to him or her that his or her dad is not really my husband! Call me conventional but I can't see myself doing that!

Well, I won't say children out of wedlock are better than the ones with their parents, but, it's bullsh!t to conclude that they commit the worst crime more than the ones with their parents!

Havin a child out of wedluck does not neccessarily mean that the child born of wedluck parents would be more discipline and berra than the other. It wasn't meant to be that way but ish happens, you know (unwanted pregnancy)? So, he or she will also be takin care of by the 'out of wedluck' parents, same way as the child born of wedluck parents will also be takin care of by his or her wedluck parents. It's just that in the Nigerian tradition, it's not good to have a baby out of wedluck, and that is what we all are tryin to stick with!

But stil, how many couples in Nigeria today get married before havin children?

Wey almost all our 9ja gals don get 1 pikin each for village, den l8r dem go dey form virgin/fine gals for city, RUBBISH!

Ujujoan:

^^^ You know I don't have any personal convinctions about which child is better off, those raised by married parents and those born out of wedluck. Like I said before, anything goes this days!

For me it's not even about bringing up the child alone and wondering about how he or she will tun out . . . it's about having to explain to him or her that his or her dad is not really my husband! Call me conventional but I can't see myself doing that!

if what that child sees everyday is nothing but love, care and affection between the two of you then that question will never come in that childs mind. . . . . . . . . . . .and if it does then simply tell him/her when he is old enough that marriage cannot change whatever you did towards that child and that it is the feelings/emotion for one another that matters. lol

it's not advisable to do it deliberately, but if it happens accidentally it's not the end of the world.

i don't agree that children raised by single parents fare worse academically or morally. it's children who don't have enough attention/supervision that fare worse.

The Level of ignorance here is shocking.So because a child is born outside wedlock means the child is less human to kids with married parents.What
sort of nonsense drivel is this.

What any child needs is a loving environment and quality upbringing.whether had in or out of wedlock.