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What’s The Hardest Part About Marriage That No One Ever Talks About? - Family (6) - Nairaland

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Re: What’s The Hardest Part About Marriage That No One Ever Talks About? by Tayor23(m): 2:40pm On Mar 06, 2020
A305:
* The Sex (Mismatch libido)

* Not giving each other space (Don't come near me, cuddle, grope me or touch me all the time. I need some (me time) alone, I have been alone before you showed up in my life - the alone craving is still there sometimes.

* Silence (sometimes, I need silence to concentrate and think about next business deal, bills, our family affairs, my out family and relatives and NO wiffy, i'm not ignoring you, I just need silence)

* Women always getting emotional to make logic seems invalid and then emotionally blackmailing their spouse.

* Men inability to flee from free sex.

*Men inability to satisfy their wife. (Always thinking banging her hard is what she want NOT knowing climax is what she needs - Also not paying attention to her sexaul need.)

*Women ranging hormone/mood swings (please women; learn to always deal and communicate with your spouse when your hormone begins to determine your mood such as; Ovulation, menstruation, financially broke, insecurity, sex starved, Pregnancy, Post - pregnancy, Stress, Depression and anxiety.)

*Lack of communication from both end.
brilliant.

5 Likes

Re: What’s The Hardest Part About Marriage That No One Ever Talks About? by Angelfrost(m): 2:40pm On Mar 06, 2020
davillian:
I don't know why I keep having this feeling that marriage would take away my freedom..
besides at some point of my life I just get tired of everything and I just want my space..

The bold parts, trust me, it is not just a feeling... That is the reality of marriage sir!!!

Marriage involves so much sacrifice and compromise!... That's why it is colloquially termed "Settling Down" or "Getting Hitched".

If you are not ready to sacrifice and compromise most things in your life (especially freedom and personal space), then stay single for as long as it takes you to have a fill of bachelorhood!!!

This is why I keep maintaining that marriage is not, and will never be, for everyone!!!

9 Likes 1 Share

Re: What’s The Hardest Part About Marriage That No One Ever Talks About? by lewis512(m): 2:40pm On Mar 06, 2020
Love is sweet na marriage spoil am

1 Like

Re: What’s The Hardest Part About Marriage That No One Ever Talks About? by simplesearch: 2:46pm On Mar 06, 2020
There is no soft or hard part of marriage, if you both belong to Christ family and tutored by God's word on the purpose of marriage, it will be fun all day long. If you intend to figure it out, your carbon copy will never give you a perfect picture of what God intends for your marriage, it might then snow-dive eventually. Marriage is not for boys and girls, it's for men who have become Husband and women who have become wife having passed through the processes required to qualify a woman to become a wife, only then can you marry. Marriage is a union between man and woman who are sent out by God to fulfill his purpose. For this cause(purpose).......Gen 2:24, what's the purpose of your coming together in the first place, is it for sex, hidden favor, physique, facial beauty, opportunities, decent apartment, cars or other mundane considerations, then your foundation is faulty. God instituted marriage as a spiritual weapon to give man an advantage he couldn't access while alone, inventing a manuscript to suit your desire will only create more room for complex spiritual engagement which will in turn destroy the physical benefit derivable from such union. Marriage is first and foremost a spiritual institution other things follow after.

12 Likes

Re: What’s The Hardest Part About Marriage That No One Ever Talks About? by Westernlove: 2:46pm On Mar 06, 2020
bigpicture001:
Financial compatibility....

This does not mean being rich by the guy,instead it means being able to share na be of help financially in marriage..,.

Women are non not to be supportive in this aspect nd that see it as their right....

This is a silent home breaker especially for the middle income spouses.


A guy I know divorced his wife straight after sh delivered of their first child... He saved for the D- day..but still fell short of 95k cuz there was complication of deliverering that no one expected.....

While he run from pillar to post to his friends seeking a soft loan pending wen he is paid....The wife still held at the hospital sent her younger sis,who stays with them to secretly go to the house go nd to her matrimonial room nd collect the 65k sh kept in her bag b4 d hubby mistakenly sees it

Unfortunately for her the hubby went home nd met his teenage in law with 65k cash....sh TLD him her elder sis instruction....


He was shocked...nd told the gal to go ahead nd deposit d money to d wife's bank as sh was instructed by her. He continued his nuzzle nd two days later he got them out of the hospital paying 126k additional from the first delivery cost...

Sh came back home nd can't look him in the eyes...quarell after quarelk ensued DT led to divorce exactly one month later....

Gals of this days are too stingy nd mny of them take d Character into marriages.....never ever Marry a lady DT will not b supportive..as a guy,u can't solve all them financial problems in marriage...

This is a big p,no one talks abt

If someone should check very well. The lady In question must be a Nigerian Lady....
Re: What’s The Hardest Part About Marriage That No One Ever Talks About? by EZENDIZUOGU(m): 2:47pm On Mar 06, 2020
Dont allow anybody to deceive you there is no formula for marriage, what that works for Mr.B may not work for Mr.A. the most important thing is find out what makes both of you happy and continue to do it. But be open and honest to one another, no secret , no room for suspicion. above all make Love often it helps to heal wounds of marriage. my 10kobo advice grin

6 Likes

Re: What’s The Hardest Part About Marriage That No One Ever Talks About? by AfroKnight: 2:52pm On Mar 06, 2020
Funministicqueen2 so this is your boo. Why is he asking this question without proposing. What is this kind of backyard proposal?

Anyway, I suspect he is already gathering excuse just in case. Being your boyfriend must be a chore.

Enjoy.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: What’s The Hardest Part About Marriage That No One Ever Talks About? by Onyekachi419(f): 2:53pm On Mar 06, 2020
tripplephi:
Well, I do not know what you mean by LOVE in your own language, BUT LET ME BE BRUTALLY HONEST....

The dreadful part where ALL BUTTERFLIES HAVE EITHER DIED OR FLOWN AWAY and HORNnINESS is now a memory AND THE PRESENCE of your spouse feels like a burden cos singleness become so so attractive again like a LIFE GOAL, yet you have to just KEEP FAKING IT AND DOING EVERYTHING when you know it is no longer how it felt like in the beginning.

its Haaaarrrd
That's why I love American lifestyle they will divorce and move on no time for fake love.
Re: What’s The Hardest Part About Marriage That No One Ever Talks About? by SeriouslySense(m): 2:57pm On Mar 06, 2020
A305:
* The Sex (Mismatch libido)

* Not giving each other space (Don't come near me, cuddle, grope me or touch me all the time. I need some (me time) alone, I have been alone before you showed up in my life - the alone craving is still there sometimes.

* Silence (sometimes, I need silence to concentrate and think about next business deal, bills, our family affairs, my out family and relatives and NO wiffy, i'm not ignoring you, I just need silence)

* Women always getting emotional to make logic seems invalid and then emotionally blackmailing their spouse.

* Men inability to flee from free sex.

on point.

*Men inability to satisfy their wife. (Always thinking banging her hard is what she want NOT knowing climax is what she needs - Also not paying attention to her sexaul need.)

*Women ranging hormone/mood swings (please women; learn to always deal and communicate with your spouse when your hormone begins to determine your mood such as; Ovulation, menstruation, financially broke, insecurity, sex starved, Pregnancy, Post - pregnancy, Stress, Depression and anxiety.)

*Lack of communication from both end.

1 Like

Re: What’s The Hardest Part About Marriage That No One Ever Talks About? by SeriouslySense(m): 2:58pm On Mar 06, 2020
On point

A305:
* The Sex (Mismatch libido)

* Not giving each other space (Don't come near me, cuddle, grope me or touch me all the time. I need some (me time) alone, I have been alone before you showed up in my life - the alone craving is still there sometimes.

* Silence (sometimes, I need silence to concentrate and think about next business deal, bills, our family affairs, my out family and relatives and NO wiffy, i'm not ignoring you, I just need silence)

* Women always getting emotional to make logic seems invalid and then emotionally blackmailing their spouse.

* Men inability to flee from free sex.

*Men inability to satisfy their wife. (Always thinking banging her hard is what she want NOT knowing climax is what she needs - Also not paying attention to her sexaul need.)

*Women ranging hormone/mood swings (please women; learn to always deal and communicate with your spouse when your hormone begins to determine your mood such as; Ovulation, menstruation, financially broke, insecurity, sex starved, Pregnancy, Post - pregnancy, Stress, Depression and anxiety.)

*Lack of communication from both end.

1 Like

Re: What’s The Hardest Part About Marriage That No One Ever Talks About? by omoharry(f): 2:58pm On Mar 06, 2020
adanny01:


The hardest part for me is for husband having kids in the picture.

Children affect everything in marriage.

All the fun is taken away unless the couple are very understanding and can find getaways to keep the relationship alive.

Children affect sex, priorities, finances, free time, and even love.
That is why it is good to marry in your twenties say 25-28..and enjoy sometime alone to yourselves before having children. Well this will be difficult, as most Nigerians in recent times are late bloomers.
Marriage should only be for those that realized that marriage is not a walk in the park as it comes with so many factors/effort needed to make it work.It is for people that desire to be start a family and are ready cherish their partners in good time and bad time ( good partners that are responsible and not stupid ones)
Marriage is not for those that dread sharing a space or being stuck with the same person for the rest of their lives. If you know you cannot stick to one partner or cannot stand the discomfort and sacrifices that comes with marriage , then you have no business getting married and making someones life miserable.
If you however need to have children as a single man, you can look out for women that are independent and financially viable.Women who also want the same thing, to be the mother of your children. There wont be a problem as long as you support your children as a father...

Please do not succumb to societal pressure to get married.They are the reason why 90% of our married citizen are miserable but pretending to be happy (especially the women) . Mean while you find the men spending their precious time either in their offices late at night , in bear parlous or in their side chicks houses.
Please players / Casanovas, you have no business getting married.Its not fun when you make your wives cry everyday alone in her bed by your action of infidelity.She will have the impression that she is no longer attractive and needed by her husband. With this attitude , You will eventually turn that innocent quite spoken girl into a scornful and bitter woman.
submitting yourselves to one another with whatever possession you have is the hardest part in marriage. In essence entrusting your life to one another 100% is the most difficult part

10 Likes 1 Share

Re: What’s The Hardest Part About Marriage That No One Ever Talks About? by LifeIssues101(f): 2:59pm On Mar 06, 2020
Keeping the butterflies alive .... This will make you forgive whatever, and stay together forever

Marry your friend, someone you love to play with and spend time with.

Someone you can never get enough of, even when they turn 70

Valuing each other's dreams and working things out in love

So when the kids are gone, you could still enjoy yourselves together

5 Likes

Re: What’s The Hardest Part About Marriage That No One Ever Talks About? by bigpicture001: 3:02pm On Mar 06, 2020
Westernlove:


If someone should check very well. The lady In question must be a Nigerian Lady....

Yes na....its starts from stinginess in relationship nd the guys don't complain about

4 Likes

Re: What’s The Hardest Part About Marriage That No One Ever Talks About? by opribo(m): 3:05pm On Mar 06, 2020
There is no hard part it is sweet all the way , but the problem is when the wrong is chosen from the beginning that means disaster.
Re: What’s The Hardest Part About Marriage That No One Ever Talks About? by coldFLARES1(m): 3:05pm On Mar 06, 2020
bigpicture001:
Financial compatibility....

This does not mean being rich by the guy,instead it means being able to share na be of help financially in marriage..,.

Women are non not to be supportive in this aspect nd that see it as their right....

This is a silent home breaker especially for the middle income spouses.


A guy I know divorced his wife straight after sh delivered of their first child... He saved for the D- day..but still fell short of 95k cuz there was complication of deliverering that no one expected.....

While he run from pillar to post to his friends seeking a soft loan pending wen he is paid..the wife still held at the hospital sent her younger sis,who stays with them to secretly go to the house go nd to her matrimonial room nd collect the 65k sh kept in her bag b4 d hubby mistakenly sees it

Unfortunately for her the hubby went home nd met his teenage in law with 65k cash....sh TLD him her elder sis instruction....


He was shocked...nd told the gal to go ahead nd deposit d money to d wife's bank as sh was instructed by her. He continued his nuzzle nd two days later he got them out of the hospital paying 126k additional from the first delivery cost...

Sh came back home nd can't look him in the eyes...quarell after quarelk ensued DT led to divorce exactly one month later....

Gals of this days are too stingy nd mny of them take d Character into marriages.....never ever Marry a lady DT will not b supportive..as a guy,u can't solve all them financial problems in marriage...

This is a big p,no one talks abt
To say, gals are overall very stingy is to have stated it nicely. It would be near impossible to maintain the energy with which vows were exchanged on the wedding day. We both have been constrained by life's experiences to change, in some ways, and some of these changes are hard to cope with.

Some wives were very supportive pre-marriage and that was their unique selling point, but you find them being stingy to their husbands because of the need to channel resources to take care of their parents and/or siblings -responsibilities which would break down their husbands if asked to help out.

E no easy! We sha dey try.

3 Likes

Re: What’s The Hardest Part About Marriage That No One Ever Talks About? by alezzy13: 3:07pm On Mar 06, 2020
Hian! You guys are scaring me oo. . sad shocked

2 Likes

Re: What’s The Hardest Part About Marriage That No One Ever Talks About? by alezzy13: 3:10pm On Mar 06, 2020
neutrotoba:


Having a roommate for life out of obligation would be the hardest for me. I don't do well with having to share my space

Ditto for me.
Re: What’s The Hardest Part About Marriage That No One Ever Talks About? by drnoel: 3:21pm On Mar 06, 2020
SassyGem101:
Well...I'm not married but I'll say...the hardest part is having to wake up everyday of your life to the same face which tends to become boring. Now no matter the initial butterflies in your belly thing, you'll get bored at some point and the only thing that can keep you going is your commitment to be with them and the fear of God. If you lack this two virtues, there's going to be a big problem especially if you are the type that likes meeting new people.


Another part it gets hard is where the niti gritty of marriage hits you. Like taking care of the responsibiity of the home especially the financial aspect. In fact before you know it, you'll wear out to the point you won't even remember how you guys started. This is not to scare you but its a fact I've seen in many homes that has made me begin to plan my marriage life in a way I won't have to be totally caught up in that hard part. Hmm....let me just stop here.

Please on a more serious note, if you must marry, prepare your mind to face these things otherwise you'll freak out before it even begins. Or stay away from it.
I have seen a lot of marriages and I wonder what happened to the initial " I love yous" and all that. Though still learning.


Dem say, nor be eye wen person take do girlfriend and boyfriend na him dem dey take do marriage ooo.

Waking up to the same face na d easy part. It just takes making up one's mind to do that. If not how do men that have had over a thousand body counts survive?
The hard part is having to juggle work stress, house stress/chores, family stress (both nuclear and extended) and then Ur partners stress all together and still be sane and still love Ur partner......that is the difficult part.
Men don't know how to juggle all those and keep the home but women do.

4 Likes

Re: What’s The Hardest Part About Marriage That No One Ever Talks About? by ikevictor: 3:26pm On Mar 06, 2020
There’s no hard part if you’re married to your true friend and someone who shares same values with you.

Even quarrels resolve itself in this instance. And forgiveness is very very key!

Over time you’ll feel more like siblings! Then, things just run itself!

Key point: marry your friend! No stress!

9 Likes

Re: What’s The Hardest Part About Marriage That No One Ever Talks About? by PreetyAngel4U: 3:30pm On Mar 06, 2020
Lamanii22:
Staying faithful.... I respect my mom on that part... She's so faithful to my dad, truss me some other women would have left since or cheated.. I wanna be like her...

Seriously? Please don't just say anything because you can.

Your mum's prayer for her children is for them to have better in life. Abi you want to marry a cheating spouse as well or have one already?

All the cheaters are busy liking this comment.

You can have a faithful spouse. Please do not inherit bad things from your parents.

4 Likes

Re: What’s The Hardest Part About Marriage That No One Ever Talks About? by clems88(m): 3:32pm On Mar 06, 2020
bigpicture001:
Financial compatibility....

This does not mean being rich by the guy,instead it means being able to share na be of help financially in marriage..,.

Women are non not to be supportive in this aspect nd that see it as their right....

This is a silent home breaker especially for the middle income spouses.


A guy I know divorced his wife straight after sh delivered of their first child... He saved for the D- day..but still fell short of 95k cuz there was complication of deliverering that no one expected.....

While he run from pillar to post to his friends seeking a soft loan pending wen he is paid..the wife still held at the hospital sent her younger sis,who stays with them to secretly go to the house go nd to her matrimonial room nd collect the 65k sh kept in her bag b4 d hubby mistakenly sees it

Unfortunately for her the hubby went home nd met his teenage in law with 65k cash....sh TLD him her elder sis instruction....


He was shocked...nd told the gal to go ahead nd deposit d money to d wife's bank as sh was instructed by her. He continued his nuzzle nd two days later he got them out of the hospital paying 126k additional from the first delivery cost...

Sh came back home nd can't look him in the eyes...quarell after quarelk ensued DT led to divorce exactly one month later....

Gals of this days are too stingy nd mny of them take d Character into marriages.....never ever Marry a lady DT will not b supportive..as a guy,u can't solve all them financial problems in marriage...

This is a big p,no one talks abt
my brother ... Women are generally stingy with there money . there money is Thiers but men's money is ours.
It runs through their vein.
An elderly man of 75 told told me last December never to ask a woman of her money and how she used it ..if not you are inviting trouble

4 Likes

Re: What’s The Hardest Part About Marriage That No One Ever Talks About? by UyaiIncomparabl(f): 3:33pm On Mar 06, 2020
Jesus Christ! This marriage business thing is one of the most stressful thing that has ever happened to mankind.

The part which scares me in marriage is having to deal with the fact that someday, the ATTRACTION and BUTTERFLIES at the initial stage will fade away. It's a definite boomerang.

I hope to stay in love, be in love, forever honor my husband and be LOYAL. Na who go be the right man na him dey scare me, because men of these days have totally lost their sense of worth and are just about themselves. It's a load of work finding one.

I think the hardest part for me is having to find the compatible, loyal and understanding person. Once you have these, everything else can be tolerated. Compatibility is very important.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: What’s The Hardest Part About Marriage That No One Ever Talks About? by Paramount01(m): 3:37pm On Mar 06, 2020
I am still single but over due for marriage, one of my fear is for the other partner, somtines in my life I even hate myself not to talk of another person, how will she feel

6 Likes

Re: What’s The Hardest Part About Marriage That No One Ever Talks About? by GreenDee(f): 3:40pm On Mar 06, 2020
SassyGem101:
Well...I'm not married but I'll say...the hardest part is having to wake up everyday of your life to the same face which tends to become boring. Now no matter the initial butterflies in your belly thing, you'll get bored at some point and the only thing that can keep you going is your commitment to be with them and the fear of God. If you lack this two virtues, there's going to be a big problem especially if you are the type that likes meeting new people.


Another part it gets hard is where the niti gritty of marriage hits you. Like taking care of the responsibiity of the home especially the financial aspect. In fact before you know it, you'll wear out to the point you won't even remember how you guys started. This is not to scare you but its a fact I've seen in many homes that has made me begin to plan my marriage life in a way I won't have to be totally caught up in that hard part. Hmm....let me just stop here.

Please on a more serious note, if you must marry, prepare your mind to face these things otherwise you'll freak out before it even begins. Or stay away from it.
I have seen a lot of marriages and I wonder what happened to the initial " I love yous" and all that. Though still learning.


Dem say, nor be eye wen person take do girlfriend and boyfriend na him dem dey take do marriage ooo.
wow such a good advice , you are blessed Sis.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: What’s The Hardest Part About Marriage That No One Ever Talks About? by bigpicture001: 3:42pm On Mar 06, 2020
clems88:
my brother ... Women are generally stingy with there money . there money is Thiers but men's money is ours.
It runs through their vein.
An elderly man of 75 told told me last December never to ask a woman of her money and how she used it ..if not you are inviting trouble

Don't heed DT advise cuz women are asking more rights in marriages,with it coms more responsibility
Re: What’s The Hardest Part About Marriage That No One Ever Talks About? by Mrice22: 3:43pm On Mar 06, 2020
SassyGem101:


Are you any better? Is funmisticqueen any better herself? Seeing how you both go about talking recklessly on this forum, you both are no different.

Its obvious the gentle man is already tired and the mere thoughts of marriage with her is giving him the chills cos hes probably seen some red flags that the lady may not have what it takes to keep a man longer in marriage hence the question. And what he needs now is sincere advice and contributions before he makes the mistake of his life.
From what I've read here, that lady is toxic! Jokes apart. Forget the initial niceties. When ladies need something, they act all nice especially if they see their mates getting married and they are being left behind. But once in, they reveal their true self.
cool cool
Re: What’s The Hardest Part About Marriage That No One Ever Talks About? by Maxxim: 3:44pm On Mar 06, 2020
9japride:
The most important thing is to just marry someone who's your type and one you are free to be yourself without feeling bad about your personality. Most people these days marry because of selfish reasons and they think the other partner will change; Person way don dey use to a way of life since childhood, na eh one change over night? It doesn't happen like that
Re: What’s The Hardest Part About Marriage That No One Ever Talks About? by Mrice22: 3:47pm On Mar 06, 2020
SassyGem101:


Are you any better? Is funmisticqueen any better herself? Seeing how you both go about talking recklessly on this forum, you both are no different.

Its obvious the gentle man is already tired and the mere thoughts of marriage with her is giving him the chills cos hes probably seen some red flags that the lady may not have what it takes to keep a man longer in marriage hence the question. And what he needs now is sincere advice and contributions before he makes the mistake of his life.
From what I've read here, that lady is toxic! Jokes apart. Forget the initial niceties. When ladies need something, they act all nice especially if they see their mates getting married and they are being left behind. But once in, they reveal their true self.
.. You said it all
Re: What’s The Hardest Part About Marriage That No One Ever Talks About? by Mrice22: 3:50pm On Mar 06, 2020
[quote author=and they think the other partner will change; Person way don dey use to a way of life since childhood, na eh one change over night? It doesn't happen like that[/quote] I swear bro.. I have nearly do that kind of mistake I thank Gid I didn't take that step.. She was even the one forcing the marriage on me
Re: What’s The Hardest Part About Marriage That No One Ever Talks About? by Kingkezie: 3:53pm On Mar 06, 2020
tripplephi:
Well, I do not know what you mean by LOVE in your own language, BUT LET ME BE BRUTALLY HONEST....

The dreadful part where ALL BUTTERFLIES HAVE EITHER DIED OR FLOWN AWAY and HORNnINESS is now a memory AND THE PRESENCE of your spouse feels like a burden cos singleness become so so attractive again like a LIFE GOAL, yet you have to just KEEP FAKING IT AND DOING EVERYTHING when you know it is no longer how it felt like in the beginning.

its Haaaarrrd

LIES FOR ME.
YOU FEEL LONELY ONCE AGAIN IF YOU ARE WERE NOT IN LOVE WITH THE PERSON,
AND THATS WHY (MARRIAGE in quote) IS FOR MATURED PERSONS WHO HAVE WILLED TO SETTLE DOWN AND BUILD A FAMILY AND NOT A GF OR BF CASE.
AND FROM THE QUESTION THE PERSON ASKED OF MARRIAGE(that is for matured and who have willed to be commited) AND NOT A RELATIONSHIP FOR (mostly young or matured individuals who are still on mingling and have not thought of settling down.)
Re: What’s The Hardest Part About Marriage That No One Ever Talks About? by Ivebeenbanned(f): 3:54pm On Mar 06, 2020
zed7:
Successful marriages are successful because one or both parties put sentiments aside. Marry whom you like, not necessarily love. Don't go for beauty or shape or wealth, go for compatibility, similar values, one whom you know will give you peace and you're good to go.
However a man or woman has to like his or her spouse. Having the best partner in the world without being attracted to them will not work.
As for the question, the hardest part of marriage is staying faithful for most men and remaining submissive for most women, especially this generation of women. It's not easy to be earning your own income and not be forced to disregard or challenge your husband from time to time.
You sound like a fragile man.

Quit talking about submission. Its 2020
Re: What’s The Hardest Part About Marriage That No One Ever Talks About? by byinks(f): 4:27pm On Mar 06, 2020
Fortyfifty:
Constantly seeing more beautiful women every day. Some will even give u correct green light but u are stocked with one babe for ever. Its depressing smiley : cheesy grin

I wish all husbands were as ball less as you..

The typical naija male sees side chicks and away match as right of passage

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