Find a place in your heart and forgive.
Only if she is willing to change for good.

If actually it's true then, She needs to be confronted with proof

So many advice bt d bottom line is it depends on d victim.d problem is we confuse crush and love.the former is a mere spice on d latter.bt we are always making d mistake of building our relationships on mere feelings.Love encompasses lots of things like trust,respect tolerance understanding, in short a character that has to b developed.long story short:she does not love you.You now decide,can i continue wit her?can she b faithful,y did she do it?do i ve hiv?o boy ur happiness is in ur hands

men in these nairaland are busy running their mouth bla bla bla and all sort of things. the question is, is there any faithful man in marriage? and the answer is NO!. these are the things men do every now and then, they impregnate young girls outside, rent a house for them, some men even bring their girl friend right into their matrimonial house(BED). I dont expect u to bring this kind of question here when u know fully well that out of 100% couple in marriage, 80% are cheaters. Men Does it more than women. Even if u divorce her as the saints in nairaland suggest, how sure are u that the next person u will marry will not do the same thing, DE DEVIL U KNOW IS BETTER THAN THE ANGEL U DONT KNOW. and coming to think of it, can u swear that ever since u got married to her, u've cheated on her. go home and sort issues out with ur wife before u fall prey to the advice saints on nairaland are giving to u and also pray for God to change her from this type of taboo.

it happen everyday. na dog wen dey see shit for him dey chop pass. take heart man

Quote from: H$LBroker on Yesterday at 03:57:20 PM

Sorry about this that happen to you, and you are just discovering few days to Christmas and New Year, but the fact is that you can't divorce her if you are a Christian, you have to forgive her and pray to God to change her but  depend on the type of denomination you belong to as a Christian, if you belong to Pentecostal which i belong to, then according to the word of God what God have put together let no one put asunder, read Mark 10: 2-9

Who is this half baked christian? Even Jesus supports that you divorce in a case of adultery.

@poster
What are you still waiting for? If you havent caught her, it would have been another story but now that you have your evidence, do away with her ASAP. Some family members and church members will try to convince you to forgive her just like some teenage NLers are saying (they are in-experienced). . . . simply reply them that you have forgiven her (forgive her truly) but you have no option than to do away with her cos such relationship can never be on the foundation of trust again! Beware of HIV, STD etc.

Those telling you to continue to accept her will not take it if they were the one cos they have not experienced it and reading a newspaper is different from being a victim of the story read (the trauma, the emotion, the psyche). After reading anything pple usually say "if I were the one, I would have done so so and so" but it is not true cos they are only reading or hearing it, let them be a victim of the circumstance and you will see them in a different picture.

@all
Too many career women are victims of this either before they could secure their jobs, in order to retain their jobs, greed or pleasure. Only those caught are barawos.

It is game over without saying any other word

Firstly for her to password her phone or msg as the poster had said means she has been doing this for long time.
What could she be hiding?? Why do she need to password your phone?? Meaning there is shit she is doing she don't want the husband to know.

@OP, My advice to you is, since she can password her phone to hide her pranks, means she has been on the game for long.
Just take a gentleman approach on this issue. Don't beat or shed blood. U Just have to move on. If she can do it once, she can repeat it and more over there is no way you can trust her no more even if u guys r back together. It would be better off if u divorce, cos if u guys r back together, the suspicion would still be there and u would be everly insecured. So better no let her password u 2 oo,

Sagamite:

Jesus Lawd, Father of God!!! 

Emo-analysis at its worse.

Please, jowo, dakun, tori Jesu, explain to me how from this:

You deduced that men are generous creatures?

You forgot the part I said one offers the other something?



Are you really that desperate that you feel you need to twist my words to creat a desperate twisted point that does not exist?

How did you turn me saying:

To this rubbish?

Do you want us to play spot the difference?

E we sooo oh (I'm greeting you in Ijebu. . . I hope that's how they say it)

I'm desperate ko. . . Hmmm, maybe you are right. So let's see I'm twisting your words because I'm desperate for. . . What. . . Exactly?!! To prove a point of view that a two years old can see? And what pray tell will that do for me in the long run?

You know what, never mind. . . This only goes to show that you use words without fully understanding what they mean, that's why you have a hard time getting that you didn't have to say the exact words. . ."Men are Generous and selfless beings for marrying women". The implication that you think they are is littered all over your post from the moment you made the statement "Marriage is for women" and anyone with two brain cells to rub together can see it.

Hey, how do you say I'm done with you in Ijebu?

oludashmi:


Who is this half baked christian? Even Jesus supports that you divorce in a case of adultery.

@poster
What are you still waiting for? If you havent caught her, it would have been another story but now that you have your evidence, do away with her ASAP. Some family members and church members will try to convince you to forgive her just like some teenage NLers are saying (they are in-experienced). . . . simply reply them that you have forgiven her (forgive her truly) but you have no option than to do away with her cos such relationship can never be on the foundation of trust again! Beware of HIV, STD etc.

Those telling you to continue to accept her will not take it if they were the one cos they have not experienced it and reading a newspaper is different from being a victim of the story read (the trauma, the emotion, the psyche). After reading anything pple usually say "if I were the one, I would have done so so and so" but it is not true cos they are only reading or hearing it, let them be a victim of the circumstance and you will see them in a different picture.

@all
Too many career women are victims of this either before they could secure their jobs, in order to retain their jobs, greed or pleasure. Only those caught are barawos.

I'm impressed (shocked kpa kpa sef) that a woman can be this brutally honest and logical. Some other women here are busy begging the issue and chasing shadows (as usual) by ranting about the fact that men also do stuff like this blah blah. . . How does that exonerate the wife in question from her shameful (s)exploits?

I'm amazed at the number of peeps(mostly male) here advising the poster to kick his wife out (to be a REAL man). If exactly the same story had been from a female poster, most(if not all) of the peeps screaming for divorce here will make 180 degree turn and talk about how the wife needs to forgive her husband or how she have to accept it that it's normal for male folks to cheat on the wives/girlfriend(like its their God given right). It's unfortunate that we (male folks) behave like we own the world when it comes to issue of relationship and to think that some Men in this age still believe the only way they can earn their wife's respect is by instilling fear in them. When you earn respect by fear, it's only show you are weakling who want to take respect(like a bully) and not earn it.

I've been married for 5yrs, so I know what it means to be married, thank God this has not happen (and will never happen) to me but I can appreciate the sort of pain and heartbreak an unfaithful wife can cause an husband. The question begging for answer is- can the poster see any future for this marriage? if there is then he needs to take reasonable steps to manage the situation whilst causing minimal damage to the reputation of their marriage, if not then he should move on but remember the devil you know is sometimes better than an angel that you dont know. I know of a close family friends whose wife cheated on him and his family wanted him to divorce his wife but he insisted on sticking with his Wife - they came out of the situation stronger and they are very happy today. Yoruba will say a o riru eleyi ri afi nderu ba oloro ni which means "there is nothing new under the heaven.

I'm not in any way condoning adultery from whatever side(husband and wife), infact I abhor it. I just want people to be objective in their criticism no matter the situation.

SHIT HAPPENS MAN.
LET HER OUT OF YOUR LIFE AND FOCUS OK!

Sisi_Kill:

E we sooo oh (I'm greeting you in Ijebu. . . I hope that's how they say it)

Mark: 100%

Reply: E sooo. Emi rey yen. Shim wa!

Sisi_Kill:

I'm desperate ko. . . Hmmm, maybe you are right. So let's see I'm twisting your words because I'm desperate for. . . What. . . Exactly?!! To prove a point of view that a two years old can see? And what pray tell will that do for me in the long run? 

You know what, never mind. . . This only goes to show that you use words without fully understanding what they mean, that's why you have a hard time getting that you didn't have to say the exact words. . ."Men are Generous and selfless beings for marrying women". The implication that you think they are is littered all over your post from the moment you made the statement "Marriage is for women" and anyone with two brain cells to rub together can see it.

Hey, how do you say I'm done with you in Ijebu?

These are the kinds of nonsensical intepretations that leads to arguments and makes it hard to be with most women and guys love being single to have their peace.

Emo-analysis leads to twisting words to make it "imply" what the woman feels insecure about and needs reassuring words to allay.

Advice: Take my word for what is explicitly declared. Don't imply for me. If you need any intepretation to identify any implication, just . . . . . . . . . . . . ASK!!! Afterall, I am still within vicinity and available to answer queries.

E.g. if I say "IF a woman wants to get married" does not impy "Only a woman wants to get married"

Shom gbo iru m wi yen? Shim ti bu she! (Can you hear what I just said? I am done!)

A lot has been said so far. So pls accept my sympathy. Very unfortunate things happen once in a while.

If you can, pls take some time off. Relocate, if possible travel abroad, so you can be far from the environment. Start a new life,I believe with time you will be healed from the pains.If the marriage is blessed with children, as long as you live, make provisions for your beloved children.Good luck

pay her back in her own coin by dating your own secretary! in fact make love to her in your family bed! that way your cheating wife will know how bad she made you feel!

Speechless! May we not have such a devil as wife. Those that have, God have mercy on them and show them the way. AMEN

i beg you just let her go for life oooooo becos your life no safe again ooo bros , make you think am na e no pure at all

did u hv sons wit her ? if not send basterd away

oludashmi:

Quote from: H$LBroker on Yesterday at 03:57:20 PM
Who is this half baked christian? Even Jesus supports that you divorce in a case of adultery.

@poster
What are you still waiting for? If you havent caught her, it would have been another story but now that you have your evidence, do away with her ASAP. Some family members and church members will try to convince you to forgive her just like some teenage NLers are saying (they are in-experienced). . . . simply reply them that you have forgiven her (forgive her truly) but you have no option than to do away with her cos such relationship can never be on the foundation of trust again! Beware of HIV, STD etc.

Those telling you to continue to accept her will not take it if they were the one cos they have not experienced it and reading a newspaper is different from being a victim of the story read (the trauma, the emotion, the psyche). After reading anything pple usually say "if I were the one, I would have done so so and so" but it is not true cos they are only reading or hearing it, let them be a victim of the circumstance and you will see them in a different picture.

@all
Too many career women are victims of this either before they could secure their jobs, in order to retain their jobs, greed or pleasure. Only those caught are barawos.

Straight to the point.

@Op,

Dont let your wife suspect anything. make you you a copy of the text message

Call both parents that you want to have a party and discussion, when both parents are seated, Request for her phone and tell her to unlock it or you unlock it and show them the text message.

At that point the marriage is over.

Letting her continue to stay with you might lead you to do crazy things or even harm her. Now you are suspicious of all her movement even when she is genuinely late at work or going to the market, you would assume that she is going to her boss for more romps.

man i feel so sorry for you but don't worry. one day you will look back and smile over it. if to get another wife is a problem, hmmmmmm don't worry, i have a friend who is looking for a GOD fearing man, loving, caring, understanding and full time working or legal business man. if you fit the description please send me email on my private mail so that i can hook you up. i am not an enemy of progress, i want you to be happy again. well by the way she is a South African, You know how we are created, BIG BIG LOAD TO CARRY ALONG. i hope you get strength. byeeeee. oooh here is my email tinavuyo@yahoo.co.uk

show her picture here

angeltebo:

man i feel so sorry for you but don't worry. one day you will look back and smile over it. if to get another wife is a problem, hmmmmmm don't worry, i have a friend who is looking for a GOD fearing man, loving, caring, understanding and full time working or legal business man. if you fit the description please send me email on my private mail so that i can hook you up. i am not an enemy of progress, i want you to be happy again. well by the way she is a South African, You know how we are created, BIG BIG LOAD TO CARRY ALONG. i hope you get strength. byeeeee. oooh here is my email tinavuyo@yahoo.co.uk

One woman's loss is anothers gain

R u in d force, D situation u jus describe look more like that of d office we share d same floor wth
The boss n his secretary attends d same foursquare church branch.
infact she has been workin 4 him 4 close to eight years now.
but she has no issue in her wedlock.
after datin her boss 4 abt 2 yrs now, she was pregnant 4 him n had to terminate it, but not d request of d boss
according to my source.
terminatin a marriage is hardly d solution to problem of infidelity.
try n learn why she has to sleep with her boss even if d marriage will eventually be terminated.
wish u d best

You were lucky d b**ch did'nt give you the pregnancy.

Women? I love them, coz they are kool

angeltebo:

man i feel so sorry for you but don't worry. one day you will look back and smile over it. if to get another wife is a problem, hmmmmmm  don't worry, i have a friend who is looking for a GOD fearing man, loving, caring, understanding and full time working or legal business man. if you fit the description please send me email on my private mail so that i can hook you up. i am not an enemy of progress, i want you to be happy again. well by the way she is a South African, You know how we are created, BIG BIG LOAD TO CARRY ALONG. i hope you get strength. byeeeee.  oooh here is my email   tinavuyo@yahoo.co.uk

dayokanu:

One woman's loss is anothers gain

hahahahaha. lol

OP, here comes your solution 

free urself and starting have fun too lots of chicks out there are you a born again ,dont let that worry or burden kill you ohhh

Well, I've learnt never to take side without hearing 4rm both parties. In my own opinion don't divorce her n hw well do u know d other woman?

oro di hmmmmmmmm
no comment!!

find one small girl in ya neihbourhood and begin bleeping her too!