WOW and WELL!

You are my serious first blame - WHY? You lost touch and feeling with your wife. You lost communication and affection. gess! What were you doing until 3yrs plus, only for you to find out. YOU WERE TOO BUSY TO NOTICE HER. So someone else noticed her, and she willingly smiled back. Well the did is done.

Let me take you back a little before you make your final decision:
"If any of you know you have no sin be the first to cast stone" (and we all know what followed).

None of us here can give you a better answer than what you will give yourself.

What if she did it because of you? (am not supporting her)
But if you provides everything for her and she ends up messing up then you just have to fire her else have a rethink.

That is why I have told my wife in strong terms, she should not work under one or two man company or bank or any of these small companies. If she can not find good job, we will join heads and open up a business venture, where she will be her own boss. Take heart my dear.

[quote author=bababuff link=topic=572614.msg7396862#msg7396862 date=1293120766]
Boozo cant you read? why all these copies

It says "click once, then wait"
.

[quote author=hexcraft link=topic=572614.msg7396941#msg7396941 date=1293121601]
WOW and WELL!

@poster


I thought you listen to P-Square, Do me and do you man no go vex just look for a way to get his wife.

For those claiming the OP cooked up the story or it is false, lack knowledge and  I will advise them to read the crime section of NL to keep themselves abreast of events. For those shouting "crucify the woman", "divorce her", I will say they are immature, not yet married and haven't learnt much from life.

Two posts and a few others here are dear to my heart because the posters seem to know what life is all about:

Is there really any female worker that isn't sleeping or wouldn't at some point sleep with her boss/ senior colleague (any colleague)? Maybe just 5%.  based on either of two possibilities: 1. The boss doesn't find her attractive, is impotent, is a genuine man of integrity, or just isn't interested for whatever reason. 2. The girl's dad/uncle owns the company or she has higher 'authorities' than the boss such that the boss leaves her alone to avoid wahala. Other than these two broad possibilities, your girlfriend or wife is either sleeping with or would soon sleep with her boss or she would lose her job. If one's girlfriend or wife has kept that job all this while - without necessarily being a super-indispensable genius that the company can't easily replace, then be rest assured that there's a high possibility she's being whorishly penetrated on all fronts in some hotel somewhere. Even if its not the boss, it would be some dashing/charming colleague for whom she has developed strong feelings due to hours and hours of working closely together for months on end - seduction is always a contact sport.

That's the bitter truth, even though I expect the so-called 'career ladies' to vehemently deny it and stubbornly live in denial.

[b]It is really bleak for those of us that want a faithful career woman for a wife. The odds are so slim as to be considered near-impossible. Yeah they'll say it's the same thing for the men too, but thats not the issue now, is it.

The highlighted in above posts are weighty but very true.

My advice to OP is already conveyed here:

You know as disheartening as this is, you still have to forgive her if you truely love. When i got married, i did so for better for worse and now the worst is here and all i hear is everybody on this forum screeming divorce her! divorce her! Yet deep inside of all of us, non of us is a saint. All of us have shortcomings and this is hers. What you need to do now is call your wife (don't be upset when you do this). Let her know you are aware of her infidelity and if she is remorseful and commits to discontinue and remain with you, then you don't have an option but to forgive her. However, if she rather prefers the boss to you then she has to leave you and continue with the boss but let this be her decision. This is why marriage is not for children, you made a VOW when you married her the way she was not because she was perfect but for who she was including the qualities you knew and the ones you didn't like the one she is exhibiting now. Write her an advance cheque of forgiveness even before you confront her and in all that you do, do it out of a heart of love. This is what it means to be a real man. God bless you.

Eiyaaa! Wel u hv 2 learn 2 learn at ur problems, dt way u wil neva run out of tins 2 laugh at. 4 d woman she is no longa ur wife. U hv been bailed & certified 2 divorce her. Do it quick b4 de kill u, jare. Do Accept my heartfelt sympathy.

why why why, should a woman do this and come home and call you darlyn. My candid advise is for you to watch more closely so you can have sufficient evidence to prove your point

Guy,u must be very dull not to have noticed since 3 year s ago.Give her a last pound and push her ass out.hahahaahha

@ Benzora et al

Your forgiveness theory sounds nice on paper. And it is not a bad idea. However, it's all a very very complicated process. As the Americans would say: give a mouse a cookie. . .and it would demand a glass of milk. Pierre Cornielle puts it this way: "he who forgives too readily only invites (further) offence". The way this works is this: niceness is often perceived as weakness. And so easily forgiving a wife caught cheating on you would only diminish your respect in her eyes. For real.

I've been theorizing a lot about this issue of late since one has to marry sooner than later, if for nothing else, to produce a heir, and have a family in line with society's expectations and famiily tradition.
  Much as I admit the near-impossibility of life-long fidelity on the part of one's wife, I also must bring  my 'badness' and 'mafia' philosophy to bear in this matter. According to your point of view, 'real' men or 'mature' men are quick to forgive and laugh off their wives' infidelity. Sorry! But nothing can be more subjective than definitions of 'realness' or  'maturity'. After a very extensive consideration of the matter, my preferred view is similar to the colloquial American '11th Commandment', viz. "thou shall not get caught". We realize that you are most likely a thief, but do not get caught stealing. If you get caught, you shall face the dire consequences - not a mushy kiss on the cheek in the name of 'forgiveness'. Quote me: a cheating wife who is assured that her husband would easily and readily forgive her (very dangerous) 'anti-party activities' would persist with such disloyalty and eventually sell her husband to his foremost enemy after a viagra-induced night of hot passion. Every wise mafiosi knows that women are creatures of emotion - a woman would easily reveal all her husband's secrets and weak points to another man (his arch-enemy even) who's fcking her. We men would just fkck for lust, but women are easily carried away by passion and emotion, thats why their persistent and unchecked infidelity is dangerous to any man on the rise.  One can't afford not to instill a positive fear in one's wife and yet hope to retain her respect, devotion and absolute loyalty.

@Poster, if this is true, I am really sorry you had to go through this. That said, it is very unfortunate that every lady is being tarred with such an ugly brush. There are decent people still left out there, so lets be careful not to generalise.

But the bigger issues here, is this is another symptom of a failing society, with no laws to protect the common man. Where are the employment laws? who is enforcing it. there is so much worng with our society that the sooner we get to grips the better for us all. So whilst it might be the poster experiencing this today, nobody knows whats around the corner for any of us

@pro1. . . Thanks for noticing the unrealistic wussies who classify themselves as real "matured" all becoz they are brow beaten by societal and religious dogma to tolerate all sorts of rubbish all in the name of upholding man made vows and appearing to the world as "happily married". No wonder so many young married men between the age of 35-45 are dying of heart diseases and other terminal ailments. How can you suck up the fact that you not only cheated on you for years but she had unprotected seXxx and got pregnant in the process. How can you overlook that and think all will be well. Women are not rational. Once they start cheating and you forgive,be rest assured it will never end. . .only difference is she'll be more tactful 2 avoid suspiction. Is that life or a way 2 live all because of dumb vows? No wonder more and more men are opting out for cohabitation in place of the bondage called marriage which has outlived is purpose. There are men even on this thread who have been cheated on their wives and they remain all becoz they feel enslaved by the vows they took. Everyday, i keep seeing more and more reasons NOT to get married and just impregnate a lady to have a successor, period! If this means i am "immature",then so be it. I cannot shorten my life all becos i want to appear "normal" and acceptable to society.

yam:

                                WILL I EVER MARRY?

As a yam, you don't need a wife anyway. . .

@ Harakiri my brother, we've always had similar views about most issues on this forum. . .it's almost scary to me infact. Hola >>.

and it's okay if a man did same thing. Please, find out the reasons your wife is short cutting from that you might get a better way of ,

Lol the females on Nairaland dont have any comment to make about this thread

Guess its something common  

Man. . all i can tell u is you need to confront her with either more prove or the ones you got, then after make a decision. .how many kids do you guys have. .I bet she cheated with you, with her BF also b4 you married her

@harakiri

i see and understand perfectly where u seem to be coming from but the fact that every now and then a plane drops out of the sky doesnt mean u shouldnt attempt to fly.marriage the bible says is honourble and the bed undefiled,and just like every other piece o fadvice in the good book this is thrown out as the humanity in us would rather unleash careless recklessness and havoc in our daily lives.the product(i.e marriage) was good,it has just been misused.

as for not getting married,i met an older friend today,he must be say 40-42,and as the cold dealt with us ,i couldnt but notice the loneliness in his eyes.having lived here in london most of his adult life and unmarried,his christmas wasnt looking too good and he needed company.he was inviting me and any other naija pips over for a christmas eve get together ,and to imagine this was someone that rocked london in the nineties chicks wise.you might havall the fun now,but you will definitely pay later.

What if Ur wife letcha boss hit it,
would U accept it or would u cry like a b!+ch
U'd probably try 2 kill her then kill yoself
saying she wasnt real but U wasnt real yoself
cos u knew she wuz a h0 when u met her
but the kitten so good u wantd it 4eva
& it hurtcha 2 know another ni99a got it
So Ni99a y'need 2 let that MFing h0 go,
just like U got it u can find another h0

[Quote]Pls do ensure u get rid of d pregnancy so he does not suspect[/quote]

GMAFB!!!!

Who's stupid enough to write crap like that in a text?!!

Epic fail with this silly attempt to wow nairalanders with another "women are horrible creatures" story.

Go back to the drawing board my friend. . . This one is a total washout.

pro01:

@ Benzora et al

Your forgiveness theory sounds nice on paper. And it is not a bad idea. However, it's all a very very complicated process. As the Americans would say: give a mouse a cookie. . .and it would demand a glass of milk. Pierre Cornielle puts it this way: "he who forgives too readily only invites (further) offence". The way this works is this: niceness is often perceived as weakness. And so easily forgiving a wife caught cheating on you would only diminish your respect in her eyes. For real.

I've been theorizing a lot about this issue of late since one has to marry sooner than later, if for nothing else, to produce a heir, and have a family in line with society's expectations and famiily tradition.
  Much as I admit the near-impossibility of life-long fidelity on the part of one's wife, I also must bring  my 'badness' and 'mafia' philosophy to bear in this matter. According to your point of view, 'real' men or 'mature' men are quick to forgive and laugh off their wives' infidelity. Sorry! But nothing can be more subjective than definitions of 'realness' or  'maturity'. After a very extensive consideration of the matter, my preferred view is similar to the colloquial American '11th Commandment', viz. "thou shall not get caught". We realize that you are most likely a thief, but do not get caught stealing. If you get caught, you shall face the dire consequences - not a mushy kiss on the cheek in the name of 'forgiveness'. Quote me: a cheating wife who is assured that her husband would easily and readily forgive her (very dangerous) 'anti-party activities' would persist with such disloyalty and eventually sell her husband to his foremost enemy after a viagra-induced night of hot passion. Every wise mafiosi knows that women are creatures of emotion - a woman would easily reveal all her husband's secrets and weak points to another man (his arch-enemy even) who's fcking her. We men would just fkck for lust, but women are easily carried away by passion and emotion, thats why their persistent and unchecked infidelity is dangerous to any man on the rise.  One can't afford not to instill a positive fear in one's wife and yet hope to retain her respect, devotion and absolute loyalty.

I LIKE THAT BOLD.

It is only a weakling and wuss that takes  such non-scene  from a woman.

A Mature man must instill FEAR AND RESPECT in his relation .

I guess that is what the POSTER lacks (REAL MEN MATURITY).

Because no woman, knowing the type of no non-scene husband she has will try cheating for 1 year not to talk of 3 year.

Guys,

lets stop painting this doom and gloom impression, that they are no decent people around (Both Man and Woman), the fact is there are.
I truth lies within us, we must choose what is important to us. Most time issues like these are brought about because of our material wants rather than needs. What is one prepared to do to give the impression of success?

its unfortunate to be in this kind of mess, in christiandom this kind of scenario does not call for divorce,because you pple took an oath for better for worse till death do us path.
the only way you can attend to this issue is to send her back to her parent,explain to her parent what u realised,then tell her parent any time u see a change in her,u will come back.but ensure that u send her to her parent,let every of her wrong doings be exposed. ok? its well

Sisi_Kill:

GMAFB!!!!

Who's silly enough to write crap like that in a text?!!

Epic fail with this silly attempt to wow nairalanders with another "women are horrible creatures" story.

Go back to the drawing board my friend. . . This one is a total washout.

And why are you doubting such a story. Because of that TEXT?

Well let me tell you, SHIT like this happen all the time. Even is the church btw PASTORS and MEMBER.

I heard and seen worst in my little stay on earth.

[I]*scratching head*[/i]

Wtf is non-scene?

Sisi_Kill:

[I]*scratching head*[/i]

Wtf is non-scene?

Sorry PROF,

I meant Nonsense. ok

@OP,

I would not say you should dump her. That is the wrong move. You will be wasting energy.

Just live your life. You have no obligation to her anymore. Do what you want to do, when you want to do it, with whoever you want to do it with.

A woman that has reached the stage she has does not give a hoot about you anymore and don't think you can change that. When a woman does not give a hoot about you anymore, they are selfish. Even if you waste your time trying to work things out, she would apologise, but believe me when I tell you that she is more sorry for being caught, than for any hurt done. And forgiving a woman that does not give a hoot about you anymore is just most likely going to lead her to lose respect for you and see you as a wussy. Woman that don't give a hoot about you have no contrition, they will always have some lame excuse that involves blaming the guy for leading them to infidelity.

A man only needs a place to cheat, a woman needs an excuse, but when she needs it, she would find it at all irrational and illogical cost.

Live your life. Watch football when you want to, go and see friends when you want to, stay out as long as you feel like, come home anytime you feel like, go out anytime you feel like, go on holiday to wherever you wish, bang any woman you feel like.

She does not own you, and you do not own her. At least you know the latter now.

you are a weak man

@Kushe. . . Nice response but its best you know i am neither religious nor do i bible a book called the bible which has been manipulated over the years and of which not even a single soul can prove its indeed the message from the creator and the only defense is the dogma they have been brainwashed with from childhood. Let me leave that to avoid derailing this thread. There are so many so called 'happily married' men that would not hesitate to trade places with the lonely 42 yr old u mentioned. Can you honestly tell me that a middle aged bachelor like George Clooney would be lonely and missing female companionship? You know better. . .lol. That man bangs chicks i can only daydream about. . .hehehe (lol). Back to the topic,you'll find so many of these "happy" married men hanging out in bars and clubs deep into the night all becos there is no happiness waiting at home for them except incessant nagging amongst other petty nonsense. That is not a life my friend and not something any young man should be eager/excited to get into. No wonder so many guys are scared of marriage.

kushe:

@harakiri

i see and understand perfectly where u seem to be coming from but the fact that every now and then a plane drops out of the sky doesnt mean u shouldnt attempt to fly.marriage the bible says is honourble and the bed undefiled,and just like every other piece o fadvice in the good book this is thrown out as the humanity in us would rather unleash careless recklessness and havoc in our daily lives.the product(i.e marriage) was good,it has just been misused.

as for not getting married,i met an older friend today,he must be say 40-42,and as the cold dealt with us ,i couldnt but notice the loneliness in his eyes.having lived here in london most of his adult life and unmarried,his christmas wasnt looking too good and he needed company.he was inviting me and any other naija pips over for a christmas eve get together ,and to imagine this was someone that rocked london in the nineties chicks wise.you might havall the fun now,but you will definitely pay later.

why should a 42 yr old man be lonely at xmas when  lots of unmarried 70yr old men are still having fun with women in their 20s and 30s.

If the man is lonely, it is not because he is unmarried or too old to find women, it is simply because he has no clue on how to live happy.

emmatok:

And why are you doubting such a story. Because of that TEXT?

Well let me tell you, poo like this happen all the time. Even is the church btw PASTORS and MEMBER.

I heard and seen worst in my little stay on earth.

Color me confused. . . What's pastor and member issues got to do with this?!

My point is no one is stupid enough to write about getting rid of a "pregnancy so he won't suspect" in a text. It sounds so contrived, it has to be contrived. You know what they say. . . If it quacks like a duck and walks like a duck, it ain't no chicken.

This story is full of holes you can sieve the atlantic with it.

Now I'm not saying women don't have affairs with their bosses or men have affairs with theirs, I'm just saying this particular story is CRAP!

OAM4J:

why should a 42 yr old man be lonely at xmas when there are lots of unmarried 70yr old men are still having fun with women in their 20s and 30s.

If the man is lonely, it is not because he is unmarried or too old to find women, it is simply because he has lost clue on how to live happy.

Lol!!!

Ko ye mi o!  

Apart from George Clooney, the guy no fit learn from Jamie Foxx, Eddie Irvine, Matthew McConaughey etc.

I wonder whether it is not a possibility the 42 year old is trying to organise a Xmas eve party to hook up with more chics.

My own policy is very simple.

"Don't enter or stay in a marriage the woman is not giving close to her all"

You are better off being single.

"Marriage is mainly for the Woman"

From the Big day to the during and, in the West, the Divorce day.