Belafonte:


I promise to do right by you na. Iyen lo kere ju

Fuuckk off man she's mine.
Have had my eyes on her

healthserve:
It's been long o YewandeQueen Mathematician hot brain

hi hi. I v been around, trust ure good?

Mathemacian? Lol wat do I know?

Yewandequeen:
hi hi. I v been around, trust ure good?

Mathemacian? Lol wat do I know?

I know na

Over the years, men have always been sweating, thinking and running around about what to do to keep a woman.
Is it sooooo stressful?
Have you ever wondered why women don't think same?
Bro, live your life to the fullest, always put yourself first and be selfish.
You are the one marrying with your money, let the woman be the one running around to impress and keep you.
Life is stressful enough, don't let us add to it bcus of sexx, it's not really worth it.
As a rule, i prefer doing my own homework of been comfortable, that way the women will be the one obsessed with how to impress and keep me in marriage or relationship not the other way round.

emmaodet:
Over the years, men have always been sweating, thinking and running around about what to do to keep a woman.
Is it sooooo stressful?
Have you ever wondered why women don't think same?
Bro, live your life to the fullest, always put yourself first and be selfish.
You are the one marrying with your money, let the woman be the one running around to impress and keep you.
Life is stressful enough, don't let us add to it bcus of sexx, it's not really worth it.
As a rule, i prefer doing my own homework of been comfortable, that way the women will be the one obsessed with how to impress and keep me in marriage or relationship not the other way round.

Master Pae Mei approves.

GreatResearcher:
I have a friend. A L/cpl in Nigerian Army who earns N55k monthly. He is married to a lady and the marriage has produced a cute lovely daughter who would be 5yrs this year. This guy is always happy around his wife. Every time he posts pics on SM, It's always pics of them cuddling together. They act like couple who are just new in a relationship. Each time I pay them visit, they are just lovable. The lady is not working. They both survive with 55k monthly and are happy together.

Last week I went to they guy and asked him how he's able to keep a lady in marriage even when he earns little. His response: "Prince, money doesn't keep a lady. If it does, people like Tiger Woods would keep one. Marriage is not something you rush into. Study the lady you want to marry to know if she's right for you. My wife and I dated for more than 6years. During our years of dating, we studied each other very well and decided that we are fit for each other. Your mistake was jumping into marriage".



STAYING LONG IN COURTSHIP TO STUDY YOUR PARTNER. hmm

Going through threads here, I saw a thread which contradicts his submission.

I saw a thread were a retired Army Gen who was a former Oyo state military governor said when he wanted to marry, he met a friend and told her to get him a wife. And her friend brought a young lady to him and the got married. No dating or whatsoever. The marriage lasted till 2016 when his wife died.
I am really confused.

Please I want to really know what keeps a woman in marriage.

Asking for future purpose

He has explained everything.

Study the person

and give respect.

GreatResearcher:
No.2

This is so true

faithfull18:

That's just one place among the several places you said so Only God can help you, it looks like lying comes natural to you, just saying.

For future purpose' how does it mean i want to marry? And yeah i would want to marry for 1 reason.

healthserve:




Please be careful about all these treat a woman like a queen. 80% of times its perceived differently by the other party albeit received as weakness and low self esteem. For me, I've reworked my model and advice men to do same which is to treat a wife same level same way she treats a man.. This gives access to recall recoil and remove in the event of drama that arises from too much accessibility and familiarity



It's not always how the woman is treated. It's how she interprets the gestures extended to her. Some people are toxic and don't deserve goodness. Trust me. From my little days in life. I've come to understand why some people are gifted toxic partners. If they had peaceful ones, they'll kill them, snuff the life out of them

In the first instance, a toxic partner shouldn't be married. What's the point marrying someone you can't love wholly and treat right?

A woman who's treated like a queen will never perceive her man as weak, except she's inherently damaged or has never been loved right. The thing about treating a woman right is that she'll submit easily and return your care in a hundred folds.

Millenniumlady:
I AM A FEMINIST and Nigerian men hates feminist

The words in caps drew my attention. When y'all call yourselves feminists so proudly, it makes me wonder. Is it some form of fancy movement you feel like identifying with? Are you a Christian? Do you realize that feminism and a marriage the way God ordained it to be can't work?

crackkhaus:

If they knew what they were doing, they'd still be together.

It would seem that they learnt what they should have done after it was all lost. It happens.
Didn't they say experience is the greatest teacher?

GreatResearcher:
Am not giving advice. Am seeking for advice

"I'm," please. Not "am."

Belafonte:


Well, she needs companionship, and that’s what you’re going home to do, to be her companion. However, she also has to be reasonable with her demand for quality time. Healthserve spends five hours on average commuting to and from work, it would be very silly to demand he gets home earlier than he naturally can. He’s not going to teleport to and from work.

So many things about marriage aren't easy or necessarily convenient, but we have to do them, anyway. The effort has to be made.

So what if the wife works, too? Is she allowed to come home at whatever time is convenient for her just because she commutes Sangotedo-VI?

emmaodet:
Over the years, men have always been sweating, thinking and running around about what to do to keep a woman.
Is it sooooo stressful?
Have you ever wondered why women don't think same?
Bro, live your life to the fullest, always put yourself first and be selfish.
You are the one marrying with your money, let the woman be the one running around to impress and keep you.
Life is stressful enough, don't let us add to it bcus of sexx, it's not really worth it.
As a rule, i prefer doing my own homework of been comfortable, that way the women will be the one obsessed with how to impress and keep me in marriage or relationship not the other way round.

You shouldn't get married with this kind of warped mindset.

Sometimes, y'all on this Nairaland will be saying things like you're agents of darkness.

PrimadonnaO:


In the first instance, a toxic partner shouldn't be married. What's the point marrying someone you can't love wholly and treat right?

A woman who's treated like a queen will never perceive her man as weak, except she's inherently damaged or has never been loved right. The thing about treating a woman right is that she'll submit easily and return your care in a hundred folds.

Tired

PrimadonnaO:

It would seem that they learnt what they should have done after it was all lost. It happens.
Didn't they say experience is the greatest teacher?

That's right, but the way I see it...death is the only finality.

Since they have finally learned what they should have done and they're not dead yet, shouldn't they go back to being married to put it to practice?

PrimadonnaO:

You shouldn't get married with this kind of warped mindset.

Sometimes, y'all on this Nairaland will be saying things like you're agents of darkness.

But is he not right?

A man does everything to toast you, buy you stuff, take care of you, then he engages you, still does everything to marry you and give you the wedding you desire.
The honeymoon is on him, the bulk of the finances inside the marriage even if you work, is supposed to come from him, etc.. I can go on and on.

So why shouldn't the woman be the one running around to impress and keep him? Or do you want local man to die young after doing all the above and still running around to impress you?

In fact, give us just one reason why a man who has paid his dues should still work overtime to keep a woman.

No need to get sentimental, just give us one reason.

Money doesn't keep a marriage , what keeps marriage is commitment , are both partners really committed to make to make it last?

Money doesn't keep a marriage , what keeps marriage is commitment , are both partners really committed to make to their marriage last?

crackkhaus:

But is he not right?

A man does everything to toast you, buy you stuff, take care of you, then he engages you, still does everything to marry you and give you the wedding you desire.
The honeymoon is on him, the bulk of the finances inside the marriage even if you work, is supposed to come from him, etc.. I can go on and on.

So why shouldn't the woman be the one running around to impress and keep him? Or do you want local man to die young after doing all the above and still running around to impress you?

In fact, give us just one reason why a man who has paid his dues should still work overtime to keep a woman.

No need to get sentimental, just give us one reason.

Did you read where he said the man should be very selfish? That's a most potent ingredient for a marriage to fail.

And about impressing, are you really sure men try to impress their wives? What I see most often is the wife living the rest of her life to please hubby, children, the in-laws...

crackkhaus:

That's right, but the way I see it...death is the only finality.

Since they have finally learned what they should have done and they're not dead yet, shouldn't they go back to being married to put it to practice?

Perhaps it's too late to go back. It's already broken.

Their case is one of the reasons I feel divorce should be a very last resort. The procedure for divorce should be made more stringent. If people knew that once they get married, an escape would be really difficult, they would be more deliberate in ensuring they marry the right person... and then making the marriage work.

Every Man Desires a Happy Family!
This Virus Called Premature Ejaculation and Weak Erection has destroyed lots of homes.
Inability to satisfy your woman in BED!!
You were not born that way, CURE IT NOW!! Follow this
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PrimadonnaO:

1. Did you read where he said the man should be very selfish? That's a most potent ingredient for a marriage to fail.

2. And about impressing, are you really sure men try to impress their wives? What I see most often is the wife living the rest of her life to please hubby, children, the in-laws...

1. I figure you may have given a whole other meaning to selfish different from what he meant, but I'll let him clarify that for you.

2. That's how it's meant to be as far as Nigerian marriages are concerned.

PrimadonnaO:

Perhaps it's too late to go back. It's already broken.

Their case is one of the reasons I feel divorce should be a very last resort. The procedure for divorce should be made more stringent. If people knew that once they get married, an escape would be really difficult, they would be more deliberate in ensuring they marry the right person... and then making the marriage work.

Only in death can anything be too late.

Whatever they have learned is irrelevant if they absolutely can not be together again.

Millenniumlady:
If you can't come home early don't get married at all

Hahahahahahahaha!

Such jokes this tiring Monday morning.

How old are you?

10?

healthserve:




Please be careful about all these treat a woman like a queen. 80% of times its perceived differently by the other party albeit received as weakness and low self esteem. For me, I've reworked my model and advice men to do same which is to treat a wife same level same way she treats a man.. This gives access to recall recoil and remove in the event of drama that arises from too much accessibility and familiarity



It's not always how the woman is treated. It's how she interprets the gestures extended to her. Some people are toxic and don't deserve goodness. Trust me. From my little days in life. I've come to understand why some people are gifted toxic partners. If they had peaceful ones, they'll kill them, snuff the life out of them

Very true.

But again, why would a man marry a toxic woman?

Anybody that doesn't give me peace is out of the window fast.

I don't have the energy or patience for drama or as it said in pidgin 'dem say, dem say'.

bukatyne:


Very true.

But again, why would a man marry a toxic woman?

Anybody that doesn't give me peace is out of the window fast.

I don't have the energy or patience for drama or as it said in pidgin 'dem say, dem say'.

You don't get the point. How would you know the one you're treating with all the niceties in the world today won't transform into a monster tomorrow is the point.

crackkhaus:

1. I figure you may have given a whole other meaning to selfish different from what he meant, but I'll let him clarify that for you.

2. That's how it's meant to be as far as Nigerian marriages are concerned.

That's how it's meant to be? I won't tackle that.

But if that's what it's meant to be, then it means you agree that's what's obtainable in Nigerian homes. It means the wife is already selfless. If she's selfless, what's the need... what justification does the man have to be selfish?

healthserve:




You don't get the point. How would you know the one you're treating with all the niceties in the world today won't transform into a monster tomorrow is the point.

Often times,

There are markers of people's behavior.

For instance, if someone is a bully or timid, you know they have low self esteem.

It is in your interest to help them boost their self esteem and/or research on the personality traits of low Esteemed people and see if you can deal.

If a person believes in traditional roles, you find out the likely expectations and roles and see if they align with your own vision of marriage.

Etc. Etc.

PrimadonnaO:

That's how it's meant to be? I won't tackle that.

But if that's what it's meant to be, then it means you agree that's what's obtainable in Nigerian homes. It means the wife is already selfless. If she's selfless, what's the need... what justification does the man have to be selfish?

You're finally agreeing with the guy's initial stance, but only having a problem with the 'selfish' part of his comment.

Women should be the ones doing more to impress and keep the marriage given the cultural dynamic of our marriage system.
As for what justification a man has to be selfish, he has none... but again, I think you misinterpreted what he meant by being selfish.

My interpretation of it is that a man should be selfish by putting his own mental and emotional health first. Not overworking himself running around to impress and keep his marriage when it's the woman who should be doing that because she has more to lose (the realistic context here is on Nigerian marriages).

It's not that he should not make his marriage work, but he mustn't do it at the expense of his peace of mind.

crackkhaus:

You're finally agreeing with the guy's initial stance, but only having a problem with the 'selfish' part of his comment.

Women should be the ones doing more to impress and keep the marriage given the cultural dynamic of our marriage system.
As for what justification a man has to be selfish, he has none... but again, I think you misinterpreted what he meant by being selfish.

My interpretation of it is that a man should be selfish by putting his own mental and emotional health first. Not overworking himself running around to impress and keep his marriage when it's the woman who should be doing that because she has more to lose (the realistic context here is on Nigerian marriages).

It's not that he should not make his marriage work, but he mustn't do it at the expense of his peace of mind.

This view of yours just reeks of unhealthy patriarchy.

PrimadonnaO:

This view of yours just reeks of unhealthy patriarchy.

That view of mine is the reality of the country you live in, whether you like to admit it or not.
I don't exist on a fantasy alternate reality.

Watching Hollywood movies and trying to act western should not automatically change how you perceive the world around you.

The best you can do is hope that you find someone who has the exact kind of western-based ideology that you do...and then hope to God that all his friends and family around him are also like him, or else they will be able to make him think/act like them and you'll be back facing the same unhealthy patriarchy inside your own marriage.