Nigerian Heterosexual Relationships In The Diaspora: Matters Arising - Romance - Nairaland
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| Nigerian Heterosexual Relationships In The Diaspora: Matters Arising by MYMINDER(m): 9:25pm On Apr 09, 2020 |
1. Nigerian men and women generally have a LOVE/HATE relationship in the diaspora. Can't be bothered with you when the going is good but can be bothered with you when your assistance is needed. Nigerians are generally wary of each other and that affects camarederie abroad. Being from Nigeria is NOT enough for a fellow Nigerian to be interested in bonding with a fellow Nigeria. 2. Tribalism still actively rears its ugly head in the diaspora. People are more open to connecting within ethnic group social circles and are largely disinterested in sincerely bonding with Nigerians outside of their "Nigerian tribe." This is the saddest for me as it fragments and stifles Nigerians from potentially wonderful platonic and romantic relationships. 3. Women in developed societies are trained by the environment to value CAREER and the resultant money over everything else INCLUDING GOD! This is NOT the Nigerian culture across any of our diverse ethnic groups. Nigerian women and men start seeing relationships as a means to an end instead of AN END in itself. Marriage is now more of a business transaction driven by selfish interests rather than love of an individual. Immediate expectation of financial comfort drives marriage interest before anything else instead of the friendship experience driving interest in marriage. 4. The Nigerian woman has been oppressed in the Nigerian society to a large extent and that pain and hurt held back is released with FREEDOM and FURY against her oppressors back home (Nigerian men). The Nigerian men are taken aback by this antagonistic attack and fight back to preserve their dominance from back home in a foreign home. Disaster strikes! Both sides should compromise and adjust to their new found surroundings; neither do and the combustible engine explodes leaving hate and misery in its wake. 5. Nigerian women treat Nigerian men without permanent residency (at the very least) as if they should never have been born. Nigerian men do not act the same way in comparison. It is an administrative matter that has been turned into some kind of weapon by the Nigerian woman to suck whateer self esteem is left out of their fellow Nigerian man. Women from other countries do not act this way in comparison. If they SINCERELY like you, then, they do whatever is necessary to ensure both of you stay together (physically). The paper or lack of paper does not impact their feelings of LOVE or lack of love for the man. This comment links back to point 3 where marriage is not about feelings but about a transactional checklist that feeds the woman's ego of importance. 6. PRIDE. Prove to ME why you are worthy of my time, attention and love the Nigerian woman says by action and words. The Nigerian man appears to want a maid instead of a wife and with marital laws favoring the woman in a skewed manner, she vehemntly resist and the battle line of the sexes is drawn DEEP. The Nigerian man wants to be worshipped for his perennial EGO boost while the Nigerian woman wants to DEFLATE the Nigerian man that has oppressed them for ages and continue to do so back home in Nigeria more often than not. 7. Self worth being determined by MONEY in the bank and not VALUES. Money continues to accumulate as Nigerians work hard while Values become worthless to potential partners and marriages are not sustainable without similar values that are strictly adhered to and respected. Nigerian men and women need to SPEAK to each other and LISTEN to each other. Yes, Nigerian women are misbehaving but, there is a lot of PAIN and oppression from men that no one is willing to listen to them about and they are REACTING. It is time to enjoy being friends with your country men and women and enjoy their company with all our similar behavioral traits and culture. The best way is when neither party feels USED. So, men keep your money in your wallet and women keep your legs closed FOR A START. Love can never grow where Trust is absent. LET US START THE HEALING and be each others BEST FRIEND. Nigerian women are SPECIAL and Nigerian men are ROCKS. Let us come together and turn this SPECIAL ROCK into the DIAMOND that Nigerian relationships SHOULD BE no matter where you reside on planet earth. Shalom! 1 Like |
| Re: Nigerian Heterosexual Relationships In The Diaspora: Matters Arising by healthserve(m): 9:27pm On Apr 09, 2020 |
Loneliness kills both sides, but no, pride won't allow connections to be made. Pride and ego are the enemies. If we take the veil that separates us, we can see ourselves more realistically and make " true humanistic" interactions devoid of any firm of power play. I only wonder if these kind of days would revisit us again. It's not an abroad phenomenon, people are evolving and are having much more than pristine love needs to much more sophisticated desires which offers realistically, emptiness, loneliness and nothing. What do you think? Toks2008 BTW, it's the same back home, watch them make you try to prove why they should give you attention. Pride is a killer Let's have some front page interactions, dear mods Dominique Lalasticlala Farano Rocktation |
| Re: Nigerian Heterosexual Relationships In The Diaspora: Matters Arising by Nobody: 10:20pm On Apr 09, 2020 |
Both the Nigerian man and woman has a great role to play in unifying our fellow country men. Marriage shouldn't be seen as a means to an end or a transaction,what happened to LOVE for Christ's sake. The sooner the hate for ourselves die down the better for us..... |
| Re: Nigerian Heterosexual Relationships In The Diaspora: Matters Arising by Toks2008(m): 10:32pm On Apr 09, 2020 |
healthserve: Aki, you are right. |
| Re: Nigerian Heterosexual Relationships In The Diaspora: Matters Arising by MYMINDER(m): 10:30am On Apr 10, 2020 |
Lalasticlala Push for intellectual discourse |
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