sips Dorothy's milk.

erico2k2:

And we say we want to move 4ward, when you get married and it is called white wedding then waht you described above is what you have just subscribed to, you cant pick and chose!

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What I mean is this. Men shud be well prepared to meet the financial needs of the family before they marry. They shud not hope on their wife to support them financially. Men are the providers. A woman's financial addition shud be seen as jara.

FarmTech:

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What I mean is this. Men shud be well prepared to meet the financial needs of the family before they marry. They shud not hope on their wife to support them financially. Men are the providers. A woman's financial addition shud be seen as jara.

Well said.

I could be wrong but Sometimes I feel men will continue to struggle financially because

A. As the world population increases and resources thin out, more and more men will struggle to make ends meet for themselves and thier family.

B. More and more women are entering the workforce, sometimes displacing the oppourtnites that could have been open to men and the women turn around to say the men are not financially responsible.People rarely talk about this, but it's TRUE. Many efforts are made to educate the girl child, when I was In university abroad. Many scholarships and Grant's were open to women only.

While we may argue that it's a good thing women are financially stable, the price some of them would have to pay is that they may not be happy maritally and some of them are ok with it.

A friend in Saudi Arabia told me women there dont work, it makes me think if the women there are happier and fulfilled. In fact to take a 2nd wife, the govt. Vets you to qualify to have more than 1. When a man fails in his duty maybe due to death or disability, the state and family takes over. Are women designed to even work?

Also we need to think is Polygamy really as bad as we are told it is. Before christianity came to Africa, men and women were ok with it until the white mans religion told us it was not ok. Let's even reason together, with the current ratio of sexes, will every woman have 1 man to herself. Sticking to this norm will leave some people lonely.

Just thinking out loud. I know some feminists will come for me. Una welcome.

Smile4mee01:


Well said.

I could be wrong but Sometimes I feel men will continue to struggle financially because

A. As the world population increases and resources thin out, more and more men will struggle to make ends meet for themselves and thier family.

B. More and more women are entering the workforce, sometimes displacing the oppourtnites that could have been open to men and the women turn around to say the men are not financially responsible.People rarely talk about this, but it's TRUE. Many efforts are made to educate the girl child, when I was In university abroad. Many scholarships and Grant's were open to women only.

While we may argue that it's a good thing women are financially stable, the price some of them would have to pay is that they may not be happy maritally and some of them are ok with it.

A friend in Saudi Arabia told me women there dont work, it makes me think if the women there are happier and fulfilled. In fact to take a 2nd wife, the govt. Vets you to qualify to have more than 1. When a man fails in his duty maybe due ato death or disability, the state and family takes over. Are women designed to even work?

Also we need to think is Polygamy really as bad aaas we are told it is. Before christianity came to Africa, men and women were ok with it until the white mans religion told us it was not ok. Let's even reason together, with the current ratio of sexes, will every woman have 1 man to herself. Sticking to this norm will leave some people lonely.

Just thinking out loud. I know some feminists will come for me. Una welcome.

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Yes, men will continue to struggle financially and women are taking over jobs - probably because they are more comfortable with lower pay.
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Women were designed to be hard working. Prov 31:10 described such women who even provide for the needs of her family. Their financial contributions are welcome, but every man shud strive to be the main provider of the family.
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Talking about polygamy, Christians don't support it. Both the old and new testaments condemns it. Those that thought they were wiser (Solomon, David etc) saw the consequences. If u are a true Christian, you won't lack a mate if you pray for one.

FarmTech:

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What I mean is this. Men shud be well prepared to meet the financial needs of the family before they marry. They shud not hope on their wife to support them financially. Men are the providers. A woman's financial addition shud be seen as jara.

and what's the yardstick for this?

FarmTech:

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Yes, men will continue to struggle financially and women are taking over jobs - probably because they are more comfortable with lower pay.
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Women were designed to be hard working. Prov 31:10 described such women who even provide for the needs of her family. Their financial contributions are welcome, but every man shud strive to be the main provider of the family.
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Talking about polygamy, Christians don't support it. Both the old and new testaments condemns it. Those that thought they were wiser (Solomon, David etc) saw the consequences. If u are a true Christian, you won't lack a mate if you pray for one.

Most of us African were preached to as what we want to hear, pls in your own time do your research on the dead sea scroll and see how it dissects the bible and how the missing parts of the bible came into play!

Anything forbids you in dating a fellow african lady who is a student in the school you studying?
Even if there are no nigerian ladies there must be other african ladies there in your school for starters
It is not a must u must an oyibo woman or a citizen there
Anyway the stark reality is when you are in nigeria and no lady finds u interesting to be with then even if u travel abroad then there is a high chance the ladies there wont still find u interesting to be with
the way it is for you might not be the same way for other guys
if u finding it hard to get the attention of the opposite maybe u should work on your physical appearance then character as well
be friendly
stop timid
dont be hiding yourself in ur room 24/7
i am also in a foreign place and i get along with the ladies there
be more open and friendly

Jaqenhghar:
Anyone who leaves his home becomes lonely

only if u keep to urself u will be lonely .since i have been here i have been making friends even with the locals.if u lock urslef in a room and avoid ppl u will always be lonely.The christmas i spent here was the one of the best christmas i haVE spent..carribean style .Op said he is in yankee and lonely..i am surprised he is finding it hard to make friend dere.even if he finds it hard to make friends with the americans there he could make friends with the nigerians in his school.

erico2k2:

and what's the yardstick for this?

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The yardstick is: B4 u marry, make sure u have an establish bizness that can cater for ur family's needs. Don't hope to achieve it after marriage. That is why it is not good to have a fiancee when you are not financially ready to marry. It may take u years to make it and your fiancee's age will not wait. Pressure will build up and you
may end up marrying her when not financially ready. I feel pity when I see young boys doing girl friend stuff. People who can't even feed themselves oo. And that is how they end up becoming chronic womanizers and future adulterers. As a youth, use your strength to serve God and huzzle. Wife will come later.

erico2k2:

Most of us African were preached to as what we want to hear, pls in your own time do your research on the dead sea scroll and see how it dissects the bible and how the missing parts of the bible came into play!

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There are also arguments that disect the dead sea scroll. U know what, the word of God is not just about words. It has power. Power to change lives and frustrate the plans of your enemies. So the enemy is constantly attacking Him with ideologies like the dead sea scroll. If Satan likes, let him direct the bible any way he wants. I still believe in the bible. I believe the bible like a fool. The kingdom of God is for those who accept it like a child.

FarmTech:

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The yardstick is: B4 u marry, make sure u have an establish bizness that can cater for ur family's needs. Don't hope to achieve it after marriage. That is why it is not good to have a fiancee when you are not financially ready to marry. It may take u years to make it and your fiancee's age will not wait. Pressure will build up and you
may end up marrying her when not financially ready. I feel pity when I see young boys doing girl friend stuff. People who can't even feed themselves oo. And that is how they end up becoming chronic womanizers and future adulterers. As a youth, use your strength to serve God and huzzle. Wife will come later.

there lays the problem of the wack mentality in Africa, in Nigeria, the vast majority of people want to be a business man, why cant we just belong to the school of thought that not everyone can be a business person? some have to be workers? even the employed want to do business hence there is a conflict of interest everywhere..Look come to the west people actually stop work or business just to start a family but here you are advocating from the other end. To get married all you need is to come off age and be matured and know that life is a journey and marriage is a legal partnership. Whoever edges 4ward first makes no difference as far as you both are heading the same direction.

FarmTech:

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There are also arguments that disect the dead sea scroll. U know what, the word of God is not just about words. It has power. Power to change lives and frustrate the plans of your enemies. So the enemy is constantly attacking Him with ideologies like the dead sea scroll. If Satan likes, let him direct the bible any way he wants. I still believe in the bible. I believe the bible like a fool. The kingdom of God is for those who accept it like a child.

Who argued against the dead sea scrolls?

FarmTech:

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The yardstick is: B4 u marry, make sure u have an establish bizness that can cater for ur family's needs. Don't hope to achieve it after marriage. That is why it is not good to have a fiancee when you are not financially ready to marry. It may take u years to make it and your fiancee's age will not wait. Pressure will build up and you
may end up marrying her when not financially ready. I feel pity when I see young boys doing girl friend stuff. People who can't even feed themselves oo. And that is how they end up becoming chronic womanizers and future adulterers. As a youth, use your strength to serve God and huzzle. Wife will come later.

Please where is your location
I have two can origin to give you
U made a whole lot of sense

erico2k2:

there lays the problem of the wack mentality in Africa, in Nigeria, the vast majority of people want to be a business man, why cant we just belong to the school of thought that not everyone can be a business person? some have to be workers? even the employed want to do business hence there is a conflict of interest everywhere..Look come to the west people actually stop work or business just to start a family but here you are advocating from the other end. To get married all you need is to come off age and be matured and know that life is a journey and marriage is a legal partnership. Whoever edges 4ward first makes no difference as far as you both are heading the same direction.

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When I say bizness, I also mean having a good job that will last. But because of the volatile nature of jobs, u shud also have a reliable investment(S) u can fall back on just in case.
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Stop work/biz to start a family? Are u sure?
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Sorry, I don't see marriage just as a legal partnership. I see it as an institution constituted by God and divorce is a no-no, except when there is adultery. If u are not ready financially and marry, how can u cater for ur family? It is the children I'll pity.

ZINIBANKS:

Please where is your location
I have two can origin to give you
U made a whole lot of sense

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I'm happy to hear that. But I don't take alcohol. Excess is what is bad. I know that. But I don't take it.

FarmTech:

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I'm happy to hear that. But I don't take alcohol. Excess is what is bad. I know that. But I don't take it.

Oh fûck OK no qualm bro
But try to dey drink am once in a while he dey bust moral

FarmTech:

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When I say bizness, I also mean having a good job that will last. But because of the volatile nature of jobs, u shud also have a reliable investment(S) u can fall back on just in case.
.
Stop work/biz to start a family? Are u sure?
.
Sorry, I don't see marriage just as a legal partnership. I see it as an institution constituted by God and divorce is a no-no, except when there is adultery. If u are not ready financially and marry, how can u cater for ur family? It is the children I'll pity.

From what you just wrote up there So basically once a man has no strong financial stability he is no longer eligible to get married, So in theory, if the man loses his job or business for whatever reason he marriage should no longer be valid. Just as body language constitutes %70 of communication so is will power and understanding does in marriage than finance.

erico2k2:

From what you just wrote up there So basically once a man has no strong financial stability he is no longer eligible to get married, So in theory, if the man loses his job or business for whatever reason he marriage should no longer be valid. Just as body language constitutes %70 of communication so is will power and understanding does in marriage than finance.

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The bible says that any man that cannot provide for his family is worse than an unbeliever and have denied the faith. So yes, if u don't have money, don't marry. If you need money, live your life to please God and ask him for money. That is the best way to get money.
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Loosing biz cannot make a marriage invalid. It is adultery or death that can do that. I won't advise anyone to depend on his job in marriage.
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Bro, will power and understanding cannot stand hunger. That money u would have used to grow your biz will end up in family running costs.
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I suggest u read this: https://letgodbetrue.com/proverbs/index/chapter-24/proverbs-24-27/

FarmTech:

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The bible says that any man that cannot provide for his family is worse than an unbeliever and have denied the faith. So yes, if u don't have money, don't marry. If you need money, live your life to please God and ask him for money. That is the best way to get money.
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Loosing biz cannot make a marriage invalid. It is adultery or death that can do that. I won't advise anyone to depend on his job in marriage.
.
Bro, will power and understanding cannot stand hunger. That money u would have used to grow your biz will end up in family running costs.
.
I suggest u read this: https://letgodbetrue.com/proverbs/index/chapter-24/proverbs-24-27/

Well, I was going by ur analogy that no money makes a man not to be ready for marriage so in this regard, if there ever comes a time when the man loses his job or business then he is not marriage worthy since you are basing the readiness of a man to get married on financial well being.

erico2k2:

Well, I was going by ur analogy that no money makes a man not to be ready for marriage so in this regard, if there ever comes a time when the man loses his job or business then he is not marriage worthy since you are basing the readiness of a man to get married on financial well being.

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The simple summary is: If u can't take good care of a family, don't marry. Pray and work hard to build ur financial base. To train up godly children, money is needed.
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If you plan your finances well, loosing your job or biz won't affect you too much. It is not easy to be a real man.