hennylove:
why the insults. Have you read where I said I am married, working and contributing financially to my family well being
I have paid fees, rent and other things so whats the stiginess about. Hope you know a lot of women are doing wonderfully to support their husband but want to shy away from the truth except if you are the type of man in question. So are you saying men no longer know their responsibility again? You are getting aggressive and childish and I have seen that you have a mindset already, so I rest my case. Wil not reply you again.

Hey, U getting my point all mixed up, read again to understand what I'm trying to say.
I'm only directing my point to ur man ni.
Ur man need to know that he need safe himself first, by organising himself on how he spent on his family hence the need for money management.
I'm speaking from experience as the first born of 7. He needs to allow his older siblings find solutions to their needs first.

VivleBriella:
Good day everyone

I've been a guest for a couple of years now, created an account to seek advice

My dear nairalanders, does it always end well marrying the Breadwinner of a family? He's the last born with 4 elder siblings but they all depend on him.

Yes, I knew he was the Breadwinner from day one but I thought with time, everyone else will be able to stand on their own, but it hasn't happened yet, we've dated for 3yrs now and he doesn't support me financially. I don't complain but he feels entitled to my money and when I get tired of him always asking me to lend him some money and decide to say no, he nags and tells me I'm not being supportive enough.

This is driving me really crazy cause he reminded me of how unsupportive I've been to him and his family, he's driving me insane, you can't possibly put the responsibility of your family on my shoulders, that's crazy and insensitive, over the years, I've borrowed him nothing less than 500k which I know for sure he's never giving back.

Is it normal to be in a parasitic relationship whereby the female remains the host that's being fed on?

I'm only 24 while he's 31.

My candid advice,

Have you asked yourself why they say "LOVE IS BLIND"?


Well, it's simply because it doesn't see things like this as problems, that's how foolish love is!

Love stops to exist when you realize yourself or better put, come to your senses.

Modified: it is not love until you are being called foolish!!... That's the bitter truth!


Now to the advice, if you want to have [b]PEACE and SECURITY i[/b]t is time to move on from that relationship!!!

vickydevoka:

Bros abeg sometimes reason squarely n profoundly b4 saying something. Most last borns are usually trained by de first n de elderly ones.
So u as de last born will be very wise in dealing with dem from de day u got a job, de shouldn't knw ur real salary, u should be able to lie to Dem by 20k difference.
Telling Dem no blatantly is no right. Bcus without dem u won't be were u are. N truth be told last born sabi help family lyk 2moro no dey. First born sabi wicked

Someone come get this passive aggressive idiot out of here!

You'd rather be lying up and down like a hellbound idiot instead of just being real with people.
And yet I'm the one that should reason before I talk?

Some men just sell off their shame. OP, it will get worse if you marry this guy. You are only 24. Dump his stupid ass and I bet you'll find a worthy man in less than two years.

My sister whether you are 24,30 or even 50, you don't deserve such a man. You don't need such a man in your life. He borrows from you to feed his family. People that are older than him and yet he has the guts to feel angry when you say no. He wants to milk you dry and doesn't care if you grow or not. He probably doesn't tell his family that you are the one feesig them and if you settle down with him and decides not to do it again, his family will hate you and say you have stopped their brother from giving them money not knowing it has always been you. Please, open up to him and tell him how you feel. If he is not okay, with it, walk away now that your mind is still intact.
It's not a bad thing to help someone you are dating but you don't owe him anything. He is inconsiderate and selfish.
Intact run before he starts beating you for not giving him money

[color=#006600][/color]

VivleBriella:


Thank you sir

Madam please end that relationship because it will get worse if you eventually marry him.

The possibility that he is STILL in a relationship with you in because of the money he's getting from you is extremely high..

The nagging is an indication that the moment you Stop giving him money that's the beginning of the end of the relationship

The funny thing about this kind of relationship is that in time the family members will come to hate you and see you as the one blocking their brother from helping them.

He will collect Every penny from you with promises to pay back and still make you feel bad the moment you're Unable to assist.

My Dear RUN RUN RUN.

Don't let love cover your eyes to the reality on ground.
Being the family's breadwinner is no child play..
I am a first child/son.. nothing kills a man like it.. much more you as a lady. #run

VivleBriella:
Good day everyone

I've been a guest for a couple of years now, created an account to seek advice

My dear nairalanders, does it always end well marrying the Breadwinner of a family? He's the last born with 4 elder siblings but they all depend on him.

Yes, I knew he was the Breadwinner from day one but I thought with time, everyone else will be able to stand on their own, but it hasn't happened yet, we've dated for 3yrs now and he doesn't support me financially. I don't complain but he feels entitled to my money and when I get tired of him always asking me to lend him some money and decide to say no, he nags and tells me I'm not being supportive enough.

This is driving me really crazy cause he reminded me of how unsupportive I've been to him and his family, he's driving me insane, you can't possibly put the responsibility of your family on my shoulders, that's crazy and insensitive, over the years, I've borrowed him nothing less than 500k which I know for sure he's never giving back.

Is it normal to be in a parasitic relationship whereby the female remains the host that's being fed on?

I'm only 24 while he's 31.

Very simple truth this is a good man that loves his family, he understands that family is everything, family is life, nothing like family, if you can't let him take care of his family, you quit. I don't see anything parasitic here he has dated you for 3 years and am sure he also spends on you the only problem you have is he spending on his family that's bad, his family owns him therefore if you are not comfortable with a man helping his beloved family you quit him simple.

VivleBriella:
Good day everyone

I've been a guest for a couple of years now, created an account to seek advice

My dear nairalanders, does it always end well marrying the Breadwinner of a family? He's the last born with 4 elder siblings but they all depend on him.

Yes, I knew he was the Breadwinner from day one but I thought with time, everyone else will be able to stand on their own, but it hasn't happened yet, we've dated for 3yrs now and he doesn't support me financially. I don't complain but he feels entitled to my money and when I get tired of him always asking me to lend him some money and decide to say no, he nags and tells me I'm not being supportive enough.

This is driving me really crazy cause he reminded me of how unsupportive I've been to him and his family, he's driving me insane, you can't possibly put the responsibility of your family on my shoulders, that's crazy and insensitive, over the years, I've borrowed him nothing less than 500k which I know for sure he's never giving back.

Is it normal to be in a parasitic relationship whereby the female remains the host that's being fed on?

I'm only 24 while he's 31.

My dear my advice to you is that you run as fast as your leg can carry you.

Am a guy and also a breadwinner of my family and I want to advise you as a big brother; if a guy is always demanding from you and is not supporting you as well be him the breadwinner of his family or not, he is not a responsible man or what you will call family man because he won't be able build his family.

Being a breadwinner of your family doesn't make you irresponsible to your girlfriend or fiance as a matter of fact it helps build you of the responsibility of being a man and thus making you a more responsible being.

I have been appreciative of the fact that I am the breadwinner of my family even though at times it wails one down the truth is God will always give you the strength to stand up and am saying this out of experience; getting married to the right person who is a breadwinner of his family will make you live your life appreciating God for your man cause he is already prepared from day one to be responsible and take care of his family.

Please note that being the breadwinner of your family is not a call to be irresponsible but rather a call to be more responsible.

This is who I am and in my family and the impact on me is appreciated by all and I kept thanking God each day for it.

So dear if your breadwinner boyfriend is not responsible and hardworking and supportive of you PLEASE walk away or better still RUN FOR YOUR LIFE.

theAccountant:

When the man supports the woman and pay all the bills, it's normal, when a woman does same she comes to nairaland and describe it as a parasitic relationship.

Don't you think its a different thing is she pays bills and all that without him borrowing money from her and using it to pay bills for his own family?. Women pay bills, fees and all that and you never hear about it. Why does he have to borrow from her when he won't pay. Why can't he borrow from the bank. The guy is inconsiderate. If you don't have much, do the little you can do. It's not her responsibility.

Filmdirect:


The way you men quickly attack a woman when she has a case against a man is amazing. Where did she say she rubbed it in his face? If it were a man asking for advice in a similar scenario wouldn't you call the woman a goal digger and dependent? Please be unbiased in responding irrespective of gender. The man's family is not her responsibility, especially a boyfriend. He should be ashamed of himself.

And trying to shame her for saying no? He cares nothing about her please.

OP, leave him. He is not the sort of man you can depend on as a head of your family one day, or a leader.

You said the unbiased truth. Many people are attacking the girl instead what she presented. The guy is shameless and inconsiderate

MartinsD12:

Very simple truth this is a good man that loves his family, he understands that family is everything, family is life, nothing like family, if you can't let him take care of his family, you quit. I don't see anything parasitic here he has dated you for 3 years and am sure he also spends on you the only problem you have is he spending on his family that's bad, his family owns him therefore if you are not comfortable with a man helping his beloved family you quit him simple.

Menh you need God to help you with such mentality and let me ask you if it were to be your sister would you have given her this same advice "HIS FAMILY OWNS HIM" and anyway I pity the breadwinner of your family no insults bro but I think you are being very unfair with your fuqking comments.
What happens then when they get married? "HIS FAMILY WILL STILL OWN HIM"
Bro I pray for your gf or wifi cause only God can help them with such mentality.

MartinsD12:

Very simple truth this is a good man that loves his family, he understands that family is everything, family is life, nothing like family, if you can't let him take care of his family, you quit. I don't see anything parasitic here he has dated you for 3 years and am sure he also spends on you the only problem you have is he spending on his family that's bad, his family owns him therefore if you are not comfortable with a man helping his beloved family you quit him simple.

Please what is good in a man who in order to look financially capable before his older siblings who are in their 30s and above and still financially supported by him also have to involve getting money from his girlfriend to support them, not even an income generating venture?

Why is he an enabler of his older siblings' dependency?

Please can you encourage your younger sister to continue to borrow her boyfriend money to take care of his older siblings?

Mindlog:


Please what is good in a man who in order to look financially capable before his older siblings who are in their 30s and above and still financially supported by him also have to involve getting money from his girlfriend to support them, not even an income generating venture?

Why is he an enabler of his older siblings' dependency?

Please can you encourage your younger sister to continue to borrow her boyfriend money to take care of his older siblings?

Is the man not taking care of the girlfriend for the past three years?

hennylove:
Don't ever marry a man that financially depends on you. It will continue and get worse and you will start disliking him until you fall out of love. Men should for self respect not be asking for money from their gal friends or wife

Men who depend of women tend to grow lazy and become okay with their parasitic lifestyle. It's a different thing if they were married and things became rough at a point and the man needs her help in running the family they have started. In this case they are still dating and she's taking care of him and his family and lazy baboons.
If they marry and he starts making money, he won't even help her because he already thinks she's okay and can take care of herself while he will spend his own money on his family. I don't wish any woman this kind of man.

Mindlog:


Please what is good in a man who in order to look financially capable before his older siblings who are in their 30s and above and still financially supported by him also have to involve getting money from his girlfriend to support them, not even an income generating venture?

Why is he an enabler of his older siblings' dependency?

Please can you encourage your younger sister to continue to borrow her boyfriend money to take care of his older siblings?

Stop mentioning that guy. He is probably trying to justify this because he is also a parasite

lordaltruist:


Menh you need God to help you with such mentality and let me ask you if it were to be your sister would you have given her this same advice "HIS FAMILY OWNS HIM" and anyway I pity the breadwinner of your family no insults bro but I think you are being very unfair with your fuqking comments.
What happens then when they get married? "HIS FAMILY WILL STILL OWN HIM"
Bro I pray for your gf or wifi cause only God can help them with such mentality.

You should get out of my mention, you stupid bully, it is your type that forgets your family in the name of marriage, family is family anytime any day blood is thicker than water, your type go marry forget your mama for villa they suffer, I have given my advice to the lady if your senses can carry you enough you will see where I advice her to quit the relationship if she is not comfortable with the man being the bread winner of the family. The man is a bread winner she said I didn't say it and you have the guts to insult me better take your time.

VivleBriella:
Good day everyone

I've been a guest for a couple of years now, created an account to seek advice

My dear nairalanders, does it always end well marrying the Breadwinner of a family? He's the last born with 4 elder siblings but they all depend on him.

Yes, I knew he was the Breadwinner from day one but I thought with time, everyone else will be able to stand on their own, but it hasn't happened yet, we've dated for 3yrs now and he doesn't support me financially. I don't complain but he feels entitled to my money and when I get tired of him always asking me to lend him some money and decide to say no, he nags and tells me I'm not being supportive enough.

This is driving me really crazy cause he reminded me of how unsupportive I've been to him and his family, he's driving me insane, you can't possibly put the responsibility of your family on my shoulders, that's crazy and insensitive, over the years, I've borrowed him nothing less than 500k which I know for sure he's never giving back.

Is it normal to be in a parasitic relationship whereby the female remains the host that's being fed on?

I'm only 24 while he's 31.

My sister, run for your dear life. The guy will keep taking advantage of you to have his family aim.
A lot of ladies usually allow their emotion to override their common sense... I can see that you are in love. Marriage can not be founded on love alone, there are some other things that you need to check.
I'm talking from a close friend's experience if you marry this guy be ready to keep carrying the responsibility till you die. I'm sure Some of the older ladies would have the greater experience to tell you..

hennylove:
why the insults. Have you read where I said I am married, working and contributing financially to my family well being
I have paid fees, rent and other things so whats the stiginess about. Hope you know a lot of women are doing wonderfully to support their husband but want to shy away from the truth except if you are the type of man in question. So are you saying men no longer know their responsibility again? You are getting aggressive and childish and I have seen that you have a mindset already, so I rest my case. Wil not reply you again.

truth hurts


Iyangbali 3-0 hennylove

MartinsD12:

Is the man not taking care of the girlfriend for the past three years?

"Yes, I knew he was the Breadwinner from day one but I thought with time, everyone else will be able to stand on their own, but it hasn't happened yet, we've dated for 3yrs now and he doesn't support me financially. I don't complain but he feels entitled to my money and when I get tired of him always asking me to lend him some money and decide to say no, he nags and tells me I'm not being supportive enough"

It seems you didn't read the OP's write up very well. On what ground is he angry when the girlfriend doesn't "lend" him money he is using to support his older siblings?

Like I asked you earlier, will you encourage your younger sister to be "lending" money to her boyfriend to support his older siblings because "he has been taking care of her for the past 3 years"?

I just wonder how a man can be "taking care" of a lady and still be borrowing from her.

Get out of that relationship as fast as you can or else... you will become the assistant breadwinner by force.

Mindlog:


"Yes, I knew he was the Breadwinner from day one but I thought with time, everyone else will be able to stand on their own, but it hasn't happened yet, we've dated for 3yrs now and he doesn't support me financially. I don't complain but he feels entitled to my money and when I get tired of him always asking me to lend him some money and decide to say no, he nags and tells me I'm not being supportive enough"

It seems you didn't read the OP's write up very well. On what ground is he angry when the girlfriend doesn't "lend" him money he is using to support his older siblings?

Like I asked you earlier, will you encourage your younger sister to be "lending" money to her boyfriend to support his older siblings because "he has been taking care of her for the past 3 years"?

I just wonder how a man can be "taking care" of a lady and still be borrowing from her.

And you are too sentimental not to read my write up where I advice if she is not comfortable with the man being a bread winner should should quit him, you didn't see that advice there

VivleBriella:
Good day everyone

I've been a guest for a couple of years now, created an account to seek advice

My dear nairalanders, does it always end well marrying the Breadwinner of a family? He's the last born with 4 elder siblings but they all depend on him.

Yes, I knew he was the Breadwinner from day one but I thought with time, everyone else will be able to stand on their own, but it hasn't happened yet, we've dated for 3yrs now and he doesn't support me financially. I don't complain but he feels entitled to my money and when I get tired of him always asking me to lend him some money and decide to say no, he nags and tells me I'm not being supportive enough.

This is driving me really crazy cause he reminded me of how unsupportive I've been to him and his family, he's driving me insane, you can't possibly put the responsibility of your family on my shoulders, that's crazy and insensitive, over the years, I've borrowed him nothing less than 500k which I know for sure he's never giving back.

Is it normal to be in a parasitic relationship whereby the female remains the host that's being fed on?

I'm only 24 while he's 31.

Forget that mad man please let's date!, where is your location please? I'm very serious, u can check my previous post.

MartinsD12:

You should get out of my mention, you stupid bully, it is your type that forgets your family in the name of marriage, family is family anytime any day blood is thicker than water, your type go marry forget your mama for villa they suffer, I have given my advice to the lady if your senses can carry you enough you will see where I advice her to quit the relationship if she is not comfortable with the man being the bread winner of the family. The man is a bread winner she said I didn't say it and you have the guts to insult me better take your time.

Family is family and your wife is not your family right? Blood is thicker than water you say? And your wife is not your blood?

Bro this mentality is very wrong and that's what I am trying to correct; now let me tell you what family is: FAMILY is you, your wife, your children, your parents, your wife's parents, your siblings and your wife's siblings and when it comes to blood please the moment you get married to her; she automatically becomes your blood so bro wake up and shawn that archaic mentality of yours.

MartinsD12:

And you are too sentimental not to read my write up where I advice if she is not comfortable with the man being a bread winner should should quit him, you didn't see that advice there

You know your post was guilt-tripping the lady and see nothing parasitic with the boyfriend borrowing money from the lady to take care of his older siblings and nags whenever the lady says no to his financial request. No one is stopping him from taking of his family, let him assist them from what he can genuinely afford and don't go borrowing from his girlfriend to package before his family.

Just as the man's family "owns" him, so does the lady's family "owns" her and instead of lending money to the man, she should spend it on her own family.

crackkhaus:

I agree.

But you should have said the same thing here

https://www.nairaland.com/5800075/need-advice-no-insults-please#88558030

I am beginning to believe what people say about most stories on nairaland being fabricated. Abi why is it that for every story like this, there is/will always be an exact story in the opposite sex version.

I'll start taking stories here like I am watching Africa magic o

BigDick70inch:
Lol..
Even u huh??
Dat..i do always look out to your comment ehn..
Why..not tell the girl to talk it out with the guy??
Leaving him now will hurt that guy..

Maybe you didn't read the post well.... Read it again, if she's your sister what advice would you give her

VivleBriella:
Good day everyone

I've been a guest for a couple of years now, created an account to seek advice

My dear nairalanders, does it always end well marrying the Breadwinner of a family? He's the last born with 4 elder siblings but they all depend on him.

Yes, I knew he was the Breadwinner from day one but I thought with time, everyone else will be able to stand on their own, but it hasn't happened yet, we've dated for 3yrs now and he doesn't support me financially. I don't complain but he feels entitled to my money and when I get tired of him always asking me to lend him some money and decide to say no, he nags and tells me I'm not being supportive enough.

This is driving me really crazy cause he reminded me of how unsupportive I've been to him and his family, he's driving me insane, you can't possibly put the responsibility of your family on my shoulders, that's crazy and insensitive, over the years, I've borrowed him nothing less than 500k which I know for sure he's never giving back.

Is it normal to be in a parasitic relationship whereby the female remains the host that's being fed on?

I'm only 24 while he's 31.

I won't stress you like that

afribabe:
I am beginning to believe what people say about most stories on nairaland being fabricated. Abi why is it that for every story like this, there is/will always be an exact story in the opposite sex version.

I'll start taking stories here like I am watching Africa magic o

A lot of the stories are fabricated, most people just flow with it for fun or to learn something.

VivleBriella:
Good day everyone

I've been a guest for a couple of years now, created an account to seek advice

My dear nairalanders, does it always end well marrying the Breadwinner of a family? He's the last born with 4 elder siblings but they all depend on him.

Yes, I knew he was the Breadwinner from day one but I thought with time, everyone else will be able to stand on their own, but it hasn't happened yet, we've dated for 3yrs now and he doesn't support me financially. I don't complain but he feels entitled to my money and when I get tired of him always asking me to lend him some money and decide to say no, he nags and tells me I'm not being supportive enough.

This is driving me really crazy cause he reminded me of how unsupportive I've been to him and his family, he's driving me insane, you can't possibly put the responsibility of your family on my shoulders, that's crazy and insensitive, over the years, I've borrowed him nothing less than 500k which I know for sure he's never giving back.

Is it normal to be in a parasitic relationship whereby the female remains the host that's being fed on?

I'm only 24 while he's 31.

I dont want to call you a fool, what kinda 31 years old man depend on a 24 years old lady? u take eyes see road but u just wan enter bush....

VivleBriella:
Good day everyone

I've been a guest for a couple of years now, created an account to seek advice

My dear nairalanders, does it always end well marrying the Breadwinner of a family? He's the last born with 4 elder siblings but they all depend on him.

Yes, I knew he was the Breadwinner from day one but I thought with time, everyone else will be able to stand on their own, but it hasn't happened yet, we've dated for 3yrs now and he doesn't support me financially. I don't complain but he feels entitled to my money and when I get tired of him always asking me to lend him some money and decide to say no, he nags and tells me I'm not being supportive enough.

This is driving me really crazy cause he reminded me of how unsupportive I've been to him and his family, he's driving me insane, you can't possibly put the responsibility of your family on my shoulders, that's crazy and insensitive, over the years, I've borrowed him nothing less than 500k which I know for sure he's never giving back.

Is it normal to be in a parasitic relationship whereby the female remains the host that's being fed on?

I'm only 24 while he's 31.

Break up with him.