Tillatalk:
With what i read here everyday i think marriage is scam

It is not. Sha don't marry someone who sees you as a doormat or someone wey eye no dey one place. Avoid person with plenty body counts who is still showing traits of sluttiness. The guys uselessing such women would not put them in their houses or invest in them financially, they are only useful for booty calls. So why should you be the investor? A public property cannot be monopolized when you are not Dangote. Avoid someone who lies about simple matters and someone who is ultra-defensive especially in matters as simple as her past relationships. Avoid someone who cannot justify certain actions. Avoid someone who asks you for Brazilian hair to protect her Togolese brain when she has no sensible means of income. Avoid those who add no value to your life and are milking you of your sanity. Most importantly, avoid those who had a thing for married men (you'd never be enough) and they'd always go back to their vomit when they have the opportunity. Avoid those who rush you into marriage (they have an agendum) or blackmail you into what you are uncomfortable doing. Finally, avoid those who do not respect you and are hooked to one or more ex.

In marriage, your peace of mind is not something you want to trade.

Find someone that reasons with you in the same frequency (i.e., someone within your class), someone that values you and the relationship, someone that co-operates with you to make a relationship work, someone that appreciates you. Someone you'd think very well before cheating on. And for gawd's "bleeping" sake, date very well and understand the person you are with. Many people get married to an image of someone they believe is true, whereas the reality hurts them, so they live in self-denial. Don't get married to someone you feel pity for, or someone you want to use to do pepper-them or you are afraid of (Oluwo of Iwo comes to mind). Post-corona, many marriages would either become stronger as many couples would realize the value of their relationship or others would pack up because many people would realize their marriages are illusory. Don't be a statistic for the latter.

PS: There are many good women (and men), very well brought up out there who are well educated and respectful. Many are also on this forum, they don't comment on every thread and stay away from controversy because they don't feed from unnecessary popularity. Do not let the foolishness of a useless few cause you to make lifetime decisions. Best bro.

ladkud:
Please your advice is needed on the issue of my wife whom I got married to December last year, I discovered she is in love with another married man and having intimate affair with him. Now she told me she is pregnant now and am doubting that am the father of that child. please dear nairalanders your advice is needed, this lady is the person I spent a lot of resources on that even want to lead me to broke.

Keep spending Sho lo stupid ni

Bros did you catch her red handed to be sure she’s really having an affair. Be sure this is not a speculation nor hearsay.. Innocent until proven guilty. I have comments to make if only you can expatiate on how you caught her red handed. When and where OR what are your evidences

ladkud:
Please your advice is needed on the issue of my wife whom I got married to December last year, I discovered she is in love with another married man and having intimate affair with him. Now she told me she is pregnant now and am doubting that am the father of that child. please dear nairalanders your advice is needed, this lady is the person I spent a lot of resources on that even want to lead me to broke.

Learn to love again that's how you can be happy. For better for worse..You signed for it bro. Let God deal with her if she is not fulfilling her part of covenant.

Lastly, pray for her and then your peace and joy will come.

Offpoint:
married less than 2 years old and wahala don start... You married folks should stop discouraging single folks like us abeg

True o

gaius01:




Goan do DNA test
You better confront her, not being scared about it. Since you are such she does such, spend on a woman ñear to bankruptcy? Haba that's why I can't spend on a woman that ain't my wife yet

all of you always shout DNA do you even have an idea the cost of doing DNA? so even after rhe DNA if he later find out the baby is not his, who is the loser? the best bet is to call the wife and have on on one discussion with her and if she is not yielding report her to her parents and family members.

terrezo2002:

Learn to love again that's how you can be happy. For better for worse..You signed for it bro. Let God deal with her if she is not fulfilling her part of covenant.

Lastly, pray for her and then your peace and joy will come.

Straight out from the bluepill text book. Learn to love who in particular? The lady who is shamelessly in love with another married man...you are saying he should learn to love her more so he can set himself up for further heartbreaks?

Clap for yourself.

You saw this coming but you ignored, maybe she is beautiful to you and you want your guys n relatives sees you married a pretty lady. You still got into the marriage and she continues the trash yet your low self-esteem did not allow you deal with the issue. You only need God if you can not deal with the issue straight by addressing it through proper engagement of words.

walex2:
all of you always shout DNA do you even have an idea the cost of doing DNA? so even after rhe DNA if he later find out the baby is not his, who is the loser? the best bet is to call the wife and have on on one discussion with her and if she is not yielding report her to her parents and family members.

So what if u sit her down and she lies to your face?

What if you report her to her family with evidence, and she promises to change and never changes?

What price can you put on peace of mind? For me, peace of mind is priceless. If i was the one, even if i sot her down and we have a good discussion, even if i report her to her family and we have a meeting, so far as there is doubt already, i will do a dna test.

If i am to raise another person's child, i need to know and do it willingly. Well, that is my opinion. You are entitled to yours sir

Offpoint:
married less than 2 years old and wahala don start... You married folks should stop discouraging single folks like us abeg

Mehn non be small thing o..when I see news like this to remain single go just dey hungry me..

Arsenate:

Straight out from the bluepill text book. Learn to love who in particular? The lady who is shamelessly in love with another married man...you are saying he should learn to love her more so he can set himself up for further heartbreaks?

Clap for yourself.

If you are a Christian you will understand God's kind of love for us. Inspite of our unfaithfulness, He is ever faithful to us.

Ejom:
it's best to calm down, no rush.. I guess u must ve been aware of their affairs for quite some time now, yet u played a boredom life by sitting with hopes she might change for the better.. Also that might also be a good reason why u quickly got married to her, so she might change and your expenses on her won't go the drain.. But u guys are now married, so protect your marriage.. Call her and talk to her with love and passion.. She might tell u wat u don't know.. No use violence o

Nah. You don't have to be condescending but, be firm with her abt things.

#3 of Man law... Don't ever respect a lady that disrespects you.

Let her know you doubt your responsibility of her pregnancy and, she's free to move out whenever she secures another accommodation.

There must be signs which you just chose to ignore.

Tango123:


So what if u sit her down and she lies to your face?

What if you report her to her family with evidence, and she promises to change and never changes?

What price can you put on peace of mind? For me, peace of mind is priceless. If i was the one, even if i sot her down and we have a good discussion, even if i report her to her family and we have a meeting, so far as there is doubt already, i will do a dna test.

If i am to raise another person's child, i need to know and do it willingly. Well, that is my opinion. You are entitled to yours sir

so if you can afford it, what if he cant afford the 600k plus of doing DNA? you gather all the evidence and the profile of the man that she is going out with to her family members and you insist the next time she is caught, that would be the end of the marriage, so if all these doesnt instill fear in her and still go ahead dating the man, then you can call off the marriage, if truly you are the father of the child, she will confess it later on

Another attention seeking thread where is the brain dead Op?? He should respond on his thread and not run away..

lapazi:


Pvssy men

May the lord never let us degrade to this level

Amen... Sumbori shout hayayayaya

Martinez39s:
Go swallow some redpill.

Thee.same redpill the choked you into abysmal poverty? Ogun kill you and your redpill.poo. Ex convict.

terrezo2002:


If you are a Christian you will understand God's kind of love for us. Inspite of our unfaithfulness, He is ever faithful to us.

Bro leave that gist.. even God give go-ahead to divorce if the wife na slut. That ur advice is fuckedup man. Why u go do like that

dairykidd:

Bro leave that gist.. even God give go-ahead to divorce if the wife na slut. That ur advice is fuckedup man. Why u go do like that

Hmmm. Thank God men are not Gods. In God's eyes I am sure you have done worse than the woman.
We can't tolerate our fellow human beings and yet we want God to tolerate us.
Blessed are the merciful for they shall obtain mercy. The universal unbroken law.
And if you don't forgive men their trespases so shall you not be forgiven.
It is your choice. Treat people the you wish to be treated if you were in their shoes.
God bless. Cheers

terrezo2002:

Hmmm. Thank God men are not Gods. In God's eyes I am sure you have done worse than the woman.
We can't tolerate our fellow human beings and yet we want God to tolerate us.
Blessed are the merciful for they shall obtain mercy. The universal unbroken law.
And if you don't forgive men their trespases so shall you not be forgiven.
It is your choice. Treat people the you wish to be treated if you were in their shoes.
God bless. Cheers

Bro u go like story well well oo.. Divorcing her doesn't mean i haven't forgiven her. In fact the divorce is because i have forgiven her and want her to be happy with whomever she wants to than to be sneaking and slithering like a snake when I'm not looking to steal moments of happiness while causing me pain. Nobody likes to suffer or feel pains. Except ur a sick sadistic twisted person would u want to remain where ur always hurt. I treat people the way they want to be treated. So if a wife starts playing the role of a single loose hoe then she will be treated as such. Give her what she wants.. Freedom or die young. Its still the golden rule of doing unto others as u want to be done to u. If i fuckup too she should treat it accordingly. Marriage is not by force. If u can't swim don't jump in the water.

ladkud:
Please your advice is needed on the issue of my wife whom I got married to December last year, I discovered she is in love with another married man and having intimate affair with him. Now she told me she is pregnant now and am doubting that am the father of that child. please dear nairalanders your advice is needed, this lady is the person I spent a lot of resources on that even want to lead me to broke.

Oh my God! Five months old marriage. No offence. But this is your fault. You have laid your own bed and now have to lie on it.

How did you lay your bed?

1. You spent a lot of resources, not calculated resources on an entity you do not or cannot own (as every human being has a free will as compared to tangible assets).

2. You ignored warning signals. This is common with simps (I'm not implying that you are a simp). Deep down you had the hounch that she loves someone else. Except if she just developed the love as you described, which is very rare of a newly wedded bride. You must have thought that you could change her.

3. You must have seen things not adding up in her statements, calls, chats, push, etc. Except if you were a cheat yourself.

4. You never read about things to know before getting married especially to a contemporary Nigerain woman (no offence to them as this refers to their ideologies). Maybe you're the type that sees threads like redpills, ubunja miseducations, Dating drills, reading of books like men are from Mars women from Venus, the perfect match, etc as a waste of time because you think you should only focus on your career forgetting that you need to get acquainted with rules of love, rules of parenting, courtship journey, etc.

How to lie on it:

1. Luckily for you, you're not in a country you'll need her permission to conduct a DNA test. You have to do that test. You can't rely on her words.

2. I wanted to ask how you knew she was cheating. But you know that yourself. Make sure she feels comfortable. Show her more love (which shouldn't be difficult since you bought your way through). You need to keep seeing her as your bride.

3. After the result of the DNA which means you might have to live with her for about a year, be composed. If the child is yours good. Then decide whether to keep them both or separate on cordial terms. If the child is not yours, life just taught you another lesson. You might decide to divorce. (I guess a man like you wouldn't even have prenuptial agreements before.) The DNA would be enough proof.

If you choose to keep living with her, you might live for another 5years more or less.

Inevitably, your life can never remain the same if the child turns out not to be yours. You would have to ignore the "what would people say syndrome" and put her away quickly. And if the child I yours, you become a single father.

I don't usually type this long. I just feel pained for this kind of ditch you have found yourself just 5months in your marriage.

Note, my suggestions and assertions might not be the best way out. But you're surely in a big mess and you have to fill this grave you dug with sand and not your own body (your future).

walex2:
so if you can afford it, what if he cant afford the 600k plus of doing DNA? you gather all the evidence and the profile of the man that she is going out with to her family members and you insist the next time she is caught, that would be the end of the marriage, so if all these doesnt instill fear in her and still go ahead dating the man, then you can call off the marriage, if truly you are the father of the child, she will confess it later on

The next time she is caught? Sir, if this were to be you, is this what you would have done?

How do you guys even end up with someone who doesn't love you? I hope everyone will understand the true meaning of love which goes beyond the feeling of lust being paraded everywhere before going into marriage. Most marriages today are being consummated on lust; reason it doesn't last.

She's done lusting over you. It's now the turn of a married man. Just wait for the child to be born then go for a DNA test if you can afford it. Otherwise use your eyes to DNA the baby.

Eulalia:
How do you guys even end up with someone who doesn't love you? I hope everyone will understand the true meaning of love which goes beyond the feeling of lust being paraded everywhere before going into marriage. Most marriages today are being consummated on lust; reason it doesn't last.

She's done lusting over you. It's now the turn of a married man. Just wait for the child to be born then go for a DNA test if you can afford it. Otherwise use your eyes to DNA the baby.

Babalawo DNA should be cheaper nao

Hollasmall:





Babalawo DNA should be cheaper nao

Lol... No. Not reliable.

ladkud:
Please your advice is needed on the issue of my wife whom I got married to December last year, I discovered she is in love with another married man and having intimate affair with him. Now she told me she is pregnant now and am doubting that am the father of that child. please dear nairalanders your advice is needed, this lady is the person I spent a lot of resources on that even want to lead me to broke.

Control your spending or you go broke and no one to help you out

Be caml until the birth of the child and go for paternity and the results will determine your next line of action

Meanwhile report her promiscuous life to her family and let them be aware so that when you start, they will not blame you

Newbielearner:



The next time she is caught? Sir, if this were to be you, is this what you would have done?

yes i will defiinitely do that, there is a room for second chance she might give an exucuse for the first time expecially if i dont have a concrete evidence

padi94:
How did you know she is in love with another man

mofos always asking stupid questions can't u read where he said the wife has confessed cheating on him with another man

Sirvingeo:
So heartbreaking. Ladies will not understand how we men feel when our partners seek sexual pleasure outside. Our ego is bruised. The thought of your wife having sex with another person oh m God !!! I wonder why God put such mind in us?

you will now think you are not hitting her well when goes outside to f.uck. it will make you think you are not doing the right thing. the truth is... it is not your fault but her choice to cheat behind your back. no matter how you provide for your girlfriend/fiancée/wife, if she wants to cheat she will. no matter how you gave her 100% care, attention, love etc. she will still cheat on you if she wants to. no matter how you f.uck the hell out of her, she will still cheat. my wife to be cheated behind my back despite all the loves , attention, care etc that I show to her. I f.uck the hell out of her to the point that she always to beg me to stop because she is so tired and she felt like squirting. imagine she fan her p.ssy most time when i f.uck her yet she cheated on me. she knows money isn't the problem and she knows that I'm not a thousandnaire but she still cheated. it makes me get more confuse about women and what they really want. its hard to find loyal girl. even the girl you nurture for 3-5yrs will surely cheat because she just want to do what other girls are doing. I just don't know.