You're still a baby then. The last time they detected for me was when I was 21.

hardon1:


what have you sincerely gained in this life by being igbo? answer sincerely

a lot bro! alot!

PHijo:


That region is multicultural. If you want to bash any ethnic group be specific!

The people are lazy, women kill their husbands etc and yet Igbo men and women come in droves, begging people to marry them!

If I start to expound on the south south as tribes very few would stand.

una own full, come dey pour for ground.

Do you know how many strangers troop to the East everyday to pay bride price?
Practically paying hundreds of thousands as bride price.

Igbo men are the best husband material.
Marrying us is a privilege. I don't need to debate that.

We used to forbid our igbo children from marrying strangers, but the complain from everywhere was too much.

it was like a national issue.

Same issue with my friend, he's from cross River State, his parents didn't allow him to marry the girl he's in love with . But nigga stubbornly went ahead and he's happily married to the girl he loved ... Him no even send him parents sef... I don't know why people from those region don't marry other tribes.

SIONKPO1:
you are diverting,stick to the topic

which topic?is it the one that already have tribal colouration in it.

My friend, listen to your parents. Wives picked from the streets especially the ones whom you do not their background most times turns out unmitigated disaster. Look for a wife that will follow you home at the evening of your life.

nyzeo:
I am 33 and I come from a state from the south south. I met a girl in Lagos 4 years ago who is from the south east and we have been very good friends ever since then.

I have developed very strong affection for her over time and we started dating. We really love each other now and we have have finalized plans to get married anytime between this year and early next year.

The issues now is that my parents are insisting I marry from my state, somebody who speaks the same language. It has caused me to have issues with my mother because she is the orchestra of all this tribal bigotry.

Please lala and house memeber make una advice me abeg. I have found someone who truly complements my life I really sincerely love this lady. Thanks

It is the same bigotry you practice on Nairaland your mother is practicing in your life, I'm glad you can see bigotry is not such a great thing now that the shoe is on the other foot. Your apple didn't fall too far from her tree. To be a man OP... you have to grow up.

RTSC:

If I start to expound on the south south as tribes very few would stand.

una own full, come dey pour for ground.

Do you know how many strangers troop to the East everyday to pay bride price?
Practically paying hundreds of thousands as bride price.

Igbo men are the best husband material.
Marrying us is a privilege. I don't need to debate that.

We used to forbid our igbo children from marrying strangers, but the complain from everywhere was too much.

it was like a national issue.

Igbo men should marry their Igbo women now!
This topic shouldn't have been if one Igbo man married that Igbo girl.
If Igbo men are truly the "best husband material " she should find one and leave the guy his mum doesn't want an Igbo daughter in law.

If you do a survey now in all the states in Nigeria, people that are married to other ethnicities apart from theirs are mostly married to Igbos. Igbos are the ones doing everything in their power to marry non-Igbos.

Lamanii22:



Where's your advice lol... Abi kini "damnnnnnn niggarr" ni shey kpelu what the OP said
...

LOL.

No sense @33 This is serious

nyzeo:
I am 33 and I come from a state from the south south. I met a girl in Lagos 4 years ago who is from the south east and we have been very good friends ever since then.

I have developed very strong affection for her over time and we started dating. We really love each other now and we have have finalized plans to get married anytime between this year and early next year.

The issues now is that my parents are insisting I marry from my state, somebody who speaks the same language. It has caused me to have issues with my mother because she is the orchestra of all this tribal bigotry.

Please lala and house memeber make una advice me abeg. I have found someone who truly complements my life I really sincerely love this lady. Thanks

I would've loved your mom to read this story down here

How Lola brought charm from Ijebu to her marriage in Nnewi

By Azuka Onwuka

When Emeka broke the news to his parents that he planned to marry a Yoruba lady, they told him that he was a joker. That would never happen, they said flatly. Was there a scarcity of nubile damsels in Nnewi and its environs or in Anambra State and the entire Igboland that their son would travel across many rivers and many states to marry a Yoruba girl from Ijebu-Ode? Or, had the girl bewitched Emeka with “otumokpo” from Ijebu-Ode? She would not succeed, they concluded. Never!

Weeks after that, nothing was heard about the issue again. They assumed that the case had been closed. Emeka had come to his senses, they concluded. But had he?

Two months later, like a bad dream, Emeka brought up the issue of this Ijebu girl again! This time, his tone was firm. Despite the threats of the parents, he was not cowed. He was resolute to the point of obstinacy. Even the tears of his mother did not move him. His parents concluded their son was indeed under a spell.

When it became obvious, after many months of dialogue, pressure, threats, pleas, tears and quarrels that Emeka was hell-bent on marrying Lola, his parents grudgingly gave their consent, but the father warned that nobody should run to him if the marriage went awry. The father also refused to accompany him to Ijebu-Ode for the marriage rites, saying that as an elder, it was a taboo for him to travel far away from home. It did not matter that a few months before the marriage rites, he had travelled through Ijebu-Ode on his way to Lagos.

Not only his parents were against the marriage: Out of Emeka’s three brothers and two sisters, only his younger sister was on his side. But Emeka overlooked all that and went ahead with the marriage.

When Lola came into the family, it was obvious that she was not welcomed. She was just being tolerated. Matters were not helped by the fact that Emeka had recently relocated his architecture business from Lagos to Nnewi, to take advantage of the burgeoning building industry in the town. And even though he had built his own house, it was within the same compound where his parents lived. It was a large compound: All the four sons had their portions of land within the compound, even though two of them were not based at home.

Another handicap Lola had was language: Igbo was the language of the family, but Lola spoke only English and Yoruba. So, Lola began forcing herself to speak Igbo. Any time she uttered an Igbo word or sentence, people would laugh. But her determination and sense of humour impressed everyone. She also did something that nobody around her did: she curtsied or knelt down when greeting elders, especially her husband’s parents, no matter how hard they protested against such acts. That act and her accent marked her out as a Yoruba, which made people treat her like an egg and call her “Iyawo.”

Most mornings, Lola would go early to the quarters of her husband’s parents, greet them, tidy up their rooms and collect their clothes for washing. She would ensure that Papa and Mama had their meals. She asked her mother in-law to teach her how to cook all local meals. Mama was eager to teach her, and she learnt fast. Any time Papa or Mama complained of backache, rheumatism or fever, Lola ensured that they got medical treatment. Most evenings, she would spend some time with them, either alone or in the company of her husband, before retiring to bed. Her brother-in-law’s wife sneered that she was shamelessly trying to buy love with her boot-licking tactics. But Lola was not bothered about that.

Less than a year after Lola came into the family, the music changed. Emeka’s parents, especially the father, never completed a sentence without mentioning “Iyawo.” He would tell anyone who cared to listen, including the wives of his other three sons, that if it was not for Iyawo, he would have long died.

Today, Lola speaks Igbo, or rather Nnewi, like a daughter of the soil. As far as Emeka’s parents are concerned, “Iyawo” can do no wrong. Even when Emeka complains about her before his parents, they will not let him finish before warning him never to do anything that will hurt that “peace-loving girl.”

Unknown to everyone, before Lola left her parents’ home, she fortified herself for any eventuality, having known that her husband’s family were not happy about the marriage. Her parents had also done all they could to dissuade her from marrying an Igbo man, but their words fell on her like water on the back of a duck. So she knew she had a major battle to face in her new home. Failure was not an option, for if the marriage failed or proved unhappy, her parents would give her the I-told-you treatment. Consequently, before leaving for Nnewi, she boiled herself in a pot of charm. Then, she etched the charm on her face, tongue and heart. The power in the charm was meant to automatically make anyone around her to like her. Anyone she smiled at or talked to was meant to be charmed by her.

What is the name of that charm and how much does it cost? The name of the charm is simple: Genuine love for others. It costs nothing to buy. No medicine-man is needed to prepare or administer it. It has no overdose. Everyone can prepare it. Everyone can administer it: At home, in the office, on the street, in the market. Its result on people is magical. Nobody can resist its effect, including “wicked mothers-in-law” and “impossible bosses.” Fortunately, it is available in all parts of the world: In Ijebu-Ode or Nnewi, Zaria or Ikot-Ekpene, New York or Kabul.

Brides and brides-to-be must realise that even though in-laws may seem difficult to deal with, they are human beings with flesh and blood. Parents – especially mothers – want to cling to their sons as long as possible. Parents are naturally suspicious and even envious of “an outsider” – who did not participate in bearing, nurturing and raising of their child – coming to take that child away. To them, the wife is a stranger who may have a selfish agenda to destroy the peace, unity and love existing in that family.

It is the duty of the wife not to breeze into the family with an antagonistic stance. Rather, she should reassure her in-laws – through her words and actions – that she has not come to “take away” their son and brother or to destabilise the family, but that she has come in – like a new baby born into the family – to increase the family’s love, peace, unity and happiness.

Everybody wants to be loved, appreciated and respected. When love is shown (over a period of time) to even untamed animals like the bear, leopard, chimpanzee, hyena, etc, they respond with friendliness. Human beings have the capacity to even respond better than animals when shown love.

The rule in all human relations is that you get what you give. If you smile a lot at people, you receive smiles. If you are cold to people, you receive coldness and more. If you love to help others, you receive help and love. Therefore, those who go about demanding and expecting love, care, and respect from others may get disappointed, but those who first give love, care, and respect to others usually receive them manyfold. Showing genuine love to others is a potent charm that works like magic.

--Twitter @BrandAzuka

©The Punch newspaper
September 2, 2014

nyzeo:
I am 33 and I come from a state from the south south. I met a girl in Lagos 4 years ago who is from the south east and we have been very good friends ever since then.

I have developed very strong affection for her over time and we started dating. We really love each other now and we have have finalized plans to get married anytime between this year and early next year.

The issues now is that my parents are insisting I marry from my state, somebody who speaks the same language. It has caused me to have issues with my mother because she is the orchestra of all this tribal bigotry.

Please lala and house memeber make una advice me abeg. I have found someone who truly complements my life I really sincerely love this lady. Thanks

Good evening, I normally don't comment but your post got me concerned about a lot of things. Let me get to your particular issue.
Marriage is between two people, yes, but it has to be carefully done. It is imperative that both party's family consent to the joining of their children.
Saying because your parents didn't allow now you should then may without their blessing, thinking you're now a man, hmmm, I fear for you. It's a dangerous thing. Consider that if issues come up with you, which nobody plans for, where will you go or where do you expect your wife to go? to friends??
Just try as much as possible to convince your parents. Pray, if you believe in prayers. Invite your parent's friends and other family members to talk to them. Shower them with attention and gift. Be at your best towards them. Just try make sure you get their consent (even if it is partial).
Do not disregard them on this issues, it is dangerous for the family you're trying to build. Because you respect your parents enough to seek their consent does not mean you're childish.
My token...

biacan:
And you're comfortable telling him to kill his parent Mpia gi eh

Yes, he should kill his parents.

Renida:
At 33 your life is still being run by external parties.


First, leave your parents house dude and be a man. If you stand on your own, you will command respected it's your orders that will be followed. And not the other way around.


Also, stop going to ask for favors from your parents. Till you stop, you continue to be subject to their decisions


Also I just checked your time line the past 6 years and your comments are filled with the rants of a spoiled child. Perhaps you need people to make decisions for you afterall



Dear mods. Let's move this thread to front page so we can have more insights. It will really stimulate interactions, discussions and drive traffic. Thank you

Jesus na word ooooooo

gypsey:
Yes, he should kill his parents.

You don fat oooo

kevwemike:
Jesus na word ooooooo

biacan:
You don fat oooo

i fat pass you?

Love they say is blind: But love, also, conquers all things and is blind to a multitude of sins. Choose where that love comes from wisely: your family or your woman.

Inter-tribal marriage have in recent times increased despite challenges faced by individuals involved in the areas of language, cultural values and culinary variations among others.

Now, should you abandon your families' love and choose that of your woman and be happy ever after?

Your getting married to your love is the least concerns of your Mother, but the "what if" - what if things turns the other way round after marriage?
Life is very unpredictable and full of ups and downs;. i.e seasons. Seasons are influenced by a lot of factors, sometimes beyond our control. Do you have the strength to survive alone peradventure the season of love you are enjoying from your woman now dwindled or changes abruptly?

Family love is not the one to be traded for marriage. Take heed and do not be deceived by your status quo. Except if your family have been treating you bad previously, do not choose a woman over your family.

In days like we have now, when storms comes, family is what you'll see. Most especially, your mother.

A word is enough for the wise!

Provided your family have been good to you in your dealings over the years, I tell you Brother, choose family love over that relationship. If you love the lady as you claimed, choose your family and let her find love elsewhere where she will be accepted and you also, look elsewhere and find a lover that fit into your family system.

The above is my personal opinion and you can do otherwise, provided you are prepared for whatever comes in future. Do not forget to build your house on the rock to withstand every storms that comes your ways in future, irrespective of what you chose now concerning this issue.

Goodluck Brother!

My parent told me same whn I was abt to marry but first I was sure who am abt to settle with..so I kindly explain to them my reasons what I want to marry the lady in question..am from Igbo but wife from Akwa ibom..our marriage is just 2yrs plus and it's swt..so just make sure ur the lady is a good person. Thn ur good to go.remember she will live with not wt ur parent...

My parent told me same whn I was abt to marry but first I was sure who am abt to settle with..so I kindly explain to them my reasons why I want to marry the lady in question..am from Igbo but wife from Akwa ibom..our marriage is just 2yrs plus and it's swt..so just make sure the lady is a good person. Thn ur good to go.remember she will live with you not wt ur parent...

All this my mother said my father said isn't a coincidence.. while growing up you refuse to take responsibilities and leave your comfort zone. Be ready to take orders at any age... my parents kuku know say I be one man squad (don't get me wrong, am well trained).

gypsey:
i fat pass you?

Slim girl like me

At 33 you still dnt know what you want. Anyway follow your mother atleast, that way you will save your girlfriend alot of stress.

biacan:
Slim girl like me

Show me!

Drizzy5001:
Same issue with my friend, he's from cross River State, his parents didn't allow him to marry the girl he's in love with . But nigga stubbornly went ahead and he's happily married to the girl he loved ... Him no even send him parents sef... I don't know why people from those region don't marry other tribes.

They are very peaceful people and really Hope to have people that are peaceful too.

Nothing more nothing less. Do you have a friend from cross River or Akwa Ibom, you will understand what I am saying.

PHijo:


Igbo men should marry their Igbo women now!
This topic shouldn't have been if one Igbo man married that Igbo girl.
If Igbo men are truly the "best husband material " she should find one and leave the guy his mum doesn't want an Igbo daughter in law.

If you do a survey now in all the states in Nigeria, people that are married to other ethnicities apart from theirs are mostly married to Igbos. Igbos are the ones doing everything in their power to marry non-Igbos.

So igbos are no longer the tribalistic people that only like marrying themselves.

You people should pick a struggle.

If igbos revert back to the good old ways, we would never hear the end of it across Nigeria.

na Education and exposure change things sha.

Denko2721987:
Awka ibom and Ibo marriages dont always end well most especially becos of the love lost between the older generation. There is this hidden hatred between them that I don't seem to understand.. The younger ones don't have issues but the bad blood from the old generation still lingers on, runs deeps and eventually sows discord among the younger generation.. Its shame anyways becos when the whites start been racists against us, its largely becos we do not also love ourselves.

you don't know what you are talking about. Oh my gosh! Nairaland is so so unhealthy now. See if I start to count the number of Akwa Ibomites married to Igbos you will start to know that this two people are more than just neighbors.

Akpabio is among. Sen. Albert. Peter Obi. In fact let me stop there is no point in convincing you.

Simbrixton:
e pain am

wetin concern me ....

Urchman200:
u dey mind them ,every thing they want to bring hate against igbo, which tribes makes better marriage than igbowoman?

I'm really surprise ooo. Statistics shows that other tribes are really keen on marrying igbo ladies and even igbo guys.Because their girls are always ready to be in a marriage while their guys know how to take care of their wives.

That guy should convince the family to avoid missing the opportunity.

The opp is still a boy

nyzeo:
I am 33 and I come from a state from the south south. I met a girl in Lagos 4 years ago who is from the south east and we have been very good friends ever since then.

I have developed very strong affection for her over time and we started dating. We really love each other now and we have have finalized plans to get married anytime between this year and early next year.

The issues now is that my parents are insisting I marry from my state, somebody who speaks the same language. It has caused me to have issues with my mother because she is the orchestra of all this tribal bigotry.

Please lala and house memeber make una advice me abeg. I have found someone who truly complements my life I really sincerely love this lady. Thanks

At thus stage witg your mum as the major lead character, you must take it easy with her

You have to seat her down and let her know why you want to marry her and plead with her to give you her support

Don't rush her, and if she stays in the same state with your mother, let her always take time to visit your mother and they will start getting use to study themselves

Women understands their fellow women more than men

There will definitely be something that will make your mother have a change of mind where she is

She must have heard somethings about people from that side but her attitude will clear your mum's doubts and develops loves for her

Funny thread, do such still happen nowadays