bukatyne:
Happy Sunday peeps.

I see, hear and read a lot of ladies been advised to 'face their career (which is actually work sef) and think of marriage later'.

Or just the short form 'career before marriage'.

Whatever variation of the advise, it generates laughter in me because:

1. Work/tilling the ground is actually a man's curse;

2. Work is just a means to an end: survival, sustenance etc.

Work in itself cannot give satisfaction hence replacing your family with 'work' always ends in tears.

There is a reason work is often described as 'soul sucking'.

I watched an interview of Kourtney Kardashian where she said as she turned forty, she was afraid to die empty and felt she wasn't living enough.

That is a work/job: it gives you money and the fine things of life however, it can never give fulfillment. That's why even the very rich after they have made money start to look for causes how they can touch the lives of people positively or negatively.

That is not to say we should not be productive or resourceful. Every human should to the best of their ability be productive in a job, vocation or their calling.

Now, there is something called 'calling or purpose'. This is the reason why you were created on earth. People's purpose range from pulling drugged kids off the street, inventing something to make our lives easier to writing lyrics that touch the soul. It can as well be spiritual as per pastors, evangelists, teachers, etc. etc.

How do we discover this purpose or calling?
1. God tells you;
2. You discover what you do effortless or what you are always drawn to. Some people would say what you can all day got free and be satisfied;
3. You discover your talents or gifts.

Some people are extremely lucky that their calling is their work. E. G. Someone whose calling is taking off drugged youth off the streets working in a NGO into rehabilitating drug addicts etc.

Every body has the duty to discover their purpose and fulfill it.

In summary, work is just work: a means to an end of living a better life and fulfilling your purpose/assignment in earth.

Raalsalghul:


What is the objective of your write up?

Women and careers

Or

Difference between work and purpose.

Can't seem to get it.

bukatyne:
Happy Sunday peeps.

I see, hear and read a lot of ladies been advised to 'face their career (which is actually work sef) and think of marriage later'.

Or just the short form 'career before marriage'.

Whatever variation of the advise, it generates laughter in me because:

1. Work/tilling the ground is actually a man's curse;

2. Work is just a means to an end: survival, sustenance etc.

Work in itself cannot give satisfaction hence replacing your family with 'work' always ends in tears.

There is a reason work is often described as 'soul sucking'.

I watched an interview of Kourtney Kardashian where she said as she turned forty, she was afraid to die empty and felt she wasn't living enough.

That is a work/job: it gives you money and the fine things of life however, it can never give fulfillment. That's why even the very rich after they have made money start to look for causes how they can touch the lives of people positively or negatively.

That is not to say we should not be productive or resourceful. Every human should to the best of their ability be productive in a job, vocation or their calling.

Now, there is something called 'calling or purpose'. This is the reason why you were created on earth. People's purpose range from pulling drugged kids off the street, inventing something to make our lives easier to writing lyrics that touch the soul. It can as well be spiritual as per pastors, evangelists, teachers, etc. etc.

How do we discover this purpose or calling?
1. God tells you;
2. You discover what you do effortless or what you are always drawn to. Some people would say what you can all day got free and be satisfied;
3. You discover your talents or gifts.

Some people are extremely lucky that their calling is their work. E. G. Someone whose calling is taking off drugged youth off the streets working in a NGO into rehabilitating drug addicts etc.

Every body has the duty to discover their purpose and fulfill it.

In summary, work is just work: a means to an end of living a better life and fulfilling your purpose/assignment in earth.

Hathor5:


You have contradicted yourself and I am glad you did.

bukatyne:


Have you heard of exceptions?

Hathor5:


Yes, I have but what makes you think that a fulfilling career is the exception? The Kardashians?

bukatyne:


I don't think you understand the OP at all.

A work which can grow into a career in exceptional cases is not designed to 'fulfill' you.

It is like saying all you were created to do in life is work.

Only a calling/purpose can.

Now, it is possible although rare that what earns you a living is also your calling. That way, you are lucky enough to kill two birds with a stone.

HiFreda:
Are you saying we should place emphasis on 'marriage' over 'work'?

You didn't direct us to where we should focus on

Hathor5:


Edited:
From my personal experience I can say that at different phases in my life I felt that I had a different purpose/calling, whatever you want to call it.

bukatyne:


Work is to provide your means of livelihood: Marriage is for companionship, prevention of adultery and raising godly children.

Marriage like work is also a means to an end.

The advantage of focusing on marriage over work is that you train kids who will carry on with your legacy.

Marriage however differs in that it affects every other decision and fulfillment of your purpose.

To break it down, let's use Mary (the mother of Jesus) as an example:

Mary's purpose was to birth the savior (Jesus Christ). Let's assume she was a farmer (the Bible didn't say), that's her work. She was married to Joseph (an excellent choice because he was godly, fair and righteous).

Imagine Joseph was a rebebe man: it would not have been easy for her to fulfill her purpose; she might never have even fulfilled it.

That's why I would rate marriage above work.

Some other examples of work vs purpose are:

1. Jesus Christ: He was a carpenter (work) however, his purpose was to save the world.

2. Peter: Was a fisherman (work), his purpose was to be an apostle and being Christ to the Jews.

Etc. Etc.

Discover your purpose (the hard part), then marry someone who keys into that purpose and vice versa. While at it, you would surely have a work to earn a living.

bukatyne:


Work is to provide your means of livelihood: Marriage is for companionship, prevention of adultery and raising godly children.
Marriage like work is also a means to an end.
The advantage of focusing on marriage over work is that you train kids who will carry on with your legacy.
Marriage however differs in that it affects every other decision and fulfillment of your purpose.
To break it down, let's use Mary (the mother of Jesus) as an example:
Mary's purpose was to birth the savior (Jesus Christ). Let's assume she was a farmer (the Bible didn't say), that's her work. She was married to Joseph (an excellent choice because he was godly, fair and righteous).
Imagine Joseph was a rebebe man: it would not have been easy for her to fulfill her purpose; she might never have even fulfilled it.
That's why I would rate marriage above work.
Some other examples of work vs purpose are:
1. Jesus Christ: He was a carpenter (work) however, his purpose was to save the world.
2. Peter: Was a fisherman (work), his purpose was to be an apostle and being Christ to the Jews.
Etc. Etc.
Discover your purpose (the hard part), then marry someone who keys into that purpose and vice versa. While at it, you would surely have a work to earn a living.

bukatyne:


Could it be that they were parts of a whole?

Did they tie together at a point having a general focus or are they totally different?

You could be a multi-purpose person.

Multi-purpose just made me remember our multi-purpose hall that year.

mission08:


And if you don't have kids?

Hathor5:


I will respond to this post knowing it was not directed at me.

1. These are your religious views on marriage and I respect them because I respect religious freedom.

2. What I don't buy is that people get married to fulfill a purpose that serves a greater good.

3. People get married and have children for very selfish reasons. Let us not deceive ourselves.

4. It does not negate the fact that they want to get it right and according to their own guiding principles but getting married and having children is a selfish need first and foremost. Not that there is anything wrong with it.



No.

I don't know.

I didn't know it until five minutes ago but I certainly am a multi-purpose person.

5. I think that we all want to have a sense of fulfillment and most of us think that a family of our own will contribute to this fulfillment.

6. This is why I wonder why you have taken it upon yourself to tell people to consider the importance of starting a family of their own.

7. This is the convention, innit?

bukatyne:


I tried relating points 1 - 4 to my post you quoted however, I could not. I was replying to the poster how they all tie together. I will answer it anyways.

1. Ok

2. I stated the reasons for marriage. The children part is contributing your own quota to the world. The way the earth is populated is by birthing children who will replace us. We now ensure that those children turn out well.

3. That is actually where the problem of the modern marriage started.

4. Hmmmmm.

5. A family of ours truly contributes to the sense of fulfillment.

6. I take it upon myself to tell people especially ladies to do it well aka marry the right person because it makes fulfilling their purpose easier and rids the society of weak marriages producing weak legacies and several complaints. But if you are my asking me why, then you don't understand the thread

7. It was the convention before we started hearing 'work before marriage' or 'work is more important'.

We are waiting for you to bless the world with the stuffs you have inside of you.

Hathor5:


2. If we were more rational and less selfish, we would contribute less to the quota, not more.

3. Really? You think the older generations were less selfish? No, they weren't. They had their own selfish reasons but still selfish. Humans have always been selfish and always will be.

6. It's you assuming that you know what is best for other ladies and I would love to know what makes you think so and also what gives you the authority.

7. It still is the convention. Tell an African parent that you don't want to get married or don't want to have children and see what happens. The fact that some parents want their daughters to get an education first is a good thing, not a bad thing. And if for some people work is more important than starting a family, what is your own stake in it? I am sorry but I have the impression that you take it too personally that others choose a different lifestyle from yours.

You know nothing about me.

bukatyne:


The topic:

Women placing the wrong emphasis on work.

And a bonus on purpose.

Ariza:
Lol... Op stated that some women place wrong emphasis on "Work". Fine, but what is Wrong? Is it wrong for a woman to choose career over marriage? Well to you it is, to Me it's her choice and to others it isn't wrong. We must learn to respect "Choice and Preference ". We live in a dynamic world, people aren't all equal neither do we all have same desires. I don't think it is right to put everyone in a box and design how they should live or what they should do so far their choices aren't threats to humanity. Because the truth is, Marriage isn't for everyone same as WEALTH isn't for everybody. Discover the one that works for you and move along with it.

Plead:
Buk atyne is too old school.

bukatyne:


Work is to provide your means of livelihood: Marriage is for companionship, prevention of adultery and raising godly children.

KanwuliaBaby:


Really?

merahki:

fieryy:
That Kourtney Kardashian you're quoting will still choose her successful career over your own successful marriage any day any time.