crackkhaus:

It is definitely about them for two reasons:

1. They just don't like you
2. What you're saying hits them like a brick.

For instance, I know for a fact that Nigerian women (majority) have more aspirations towards a successful marriage life than careers.
As a matter of fact, everyone knows this.

The ones attacking you, most of them having been dreaming about big weddings and the life of being married right since the first strand of pubic hair appeared on top of their vagînas.
Ask a sizeable number of Nigerian women where they see themselves in 10years, 98% will tell you how they see themselves as a wife and mother blessed with a loving husband, only 1% will tell you how they hope to become CEO of a business or permanent secretary in a federal job, or a well-known politician fighting for women's rights.
The remaining 1% don't even know where they'll be.

So yea, what your thread is advising is actually how they already feel...but agreeing with you will expose them as nothing more than women with no larger aspirations than having a family, neither will agreement favour their dislike for you. Most are okay at just earning a stable income at a good job, without the stress of having to think about becoming CEO, president, or astronaut.
Let hubby be the one with lofty aspirations and they will support him, is more like it.
This is the reality...

Remember, not many people even have a career. What a lot of people have are jobs, that's about it and that's fine too.

women always hold on to beliefs about men-especially negative ones(cheating,sexual predators etc)but when men tell them the truth about themselves, they will foam at their mouths

Kingarthur21:
women always hold on to beliefs about men-especially negative ones(cheating,sexual predators etc) but when men tell them the truth about themselves, they will foam at their mouths

Not just men, women too...as you can see from the antagonism towards Bukatyne.

If animals could speak, they would become enemies too.

I actually quoted you directly. The two lines I lifted are right there in my post.

bukatyne:


Miarose,

You read my OP with an open mind and concluded that the subject of the post is that women who put their jobs ahead of marriage/husband will end in tears?

Did you see the summary bolded at the end of the OP?

Ok, I would like you to point out the lines that led you to that conclusion.

Miarose:
I actually quoted you directly. The two lines I lifted are right there in my post.

You quoted me directly out of context:
Women are not told to ignore their purpose in favor of a job; they are told to ignore their families hence that line.

These are still from the same OP:

Now, there is something called 'calling or purpose'. This is the reason why you were created on earth. People's purpose range from pulling drugged kids off the street, inventing something to make our lives easier to writing lyrics that touch the soul. It can as well be spiritual as per pastors, evangelists, teachers, etc. etc.

Every body has the duty to discover their purpose and fulfill it.

In summary, work is just work: a means to an end of living a better life and fulfilling your purpose/assignment in earth.

The summary is the hence of the thread.

It is not about work vs. family.

It is about fulfilling your purpose.

So the sweet whatever got banned

Hahaha her fake badassery ended in tears,

Lwkmd

Bukatyne, you’re not a victim.

I think it’s very unfortunate that you’ve decided to hide behind a wall of fake victimhood, rather than address the questions about the incoherent premise (which was on purpose) in your OP posted on a public forum.

I see, hear and read a lot of ladies been advised to 'face their career (which is actually work sef) and think of marriage later'.

Or just the short form 'career before marriage'.

Whatever variation of the advise, it generates laughter in me because

You purposely redefined the popular phrase above so you can create a loophole in your OP. It’s actually pretty devious. When people disagree with what you actually mean, then you can always point out the “work” in your OP. So basically you invented a new meaning of a popular phrase that is easier to argue against. There is a word for that.

The phrase has always been about getting your career on track before you get married, if you so desire. It has never been about work.

This was a sloppy OP.

liberalchick:
Bukatyne, you’re not a victim.

I think it’s very unfortunate that you’ve decided to hide behind a wall of fake victimhood, rather than address the questions about the incoherent premise (which was on purpose) in your OP posted on a public forum.



You purposely redefined the popular phrase above so you can create a loophole in your OP. It’s actually pretty devious. When people disagree with what you actually mean, then you can always point out the “work” in your OP. So basically you invented a new meaning of a popular phrase that is easier to argue against. There is a word for that.

The phrase has always been about getting your career on track before you get married, if you so desire. It has never been about work.

This was a sloppy OP.

Did I claim to be a victim? or what are you on about?

I have a life outside NL to feel 'victimized' by people I don't know.

I created a thread and not answerable to anyone about my premise.

Like they say 'I am responsible for what I type, everyone is responsible for what they understand.'

I am taking marriage vs. career and spent half of the OP talking about purpose and calling?

Please you came late to the party.

Thank you.

bukatyne:


What is marriage for to you?

We learn everyday.

Here you go again.
You start a proxy-thread “pretending” you want to discuss “whatever”, then your main focus is soon exposed to all when you finally land on what you really want to express. Do you think NL is full of preschoolers?

Why the deception?

Just open a topic in the “Dear Diaries” section and continue your fallacies of circumlocutIon from paragraph to paragraph as you wish. . . . undisturbed.

You know?
What we write online gives a true pictograph of our states of mind offline.

What marriage means to me?
I could write VOLUMES! I am an EXPERT on the topic. No need for me to be opening threads UPANDAN to discuss it. A VERRRRRY BORRRRRRING TOPIC TO ME.

Guuuuuuuuurrrrlllll!!!!! You can NEVER grasp or comprehend this “marriage of a concept” in a million years. I am living it. Are you? After 20 years +++ of marriage, you wanno ask me? I was married before I joined NL in 2008. . . . and still married TO THE SAME MAN o!

Na KPOMO? ? ?

You do not sound like you live a life of content.
We ALL lack fulfillment in one area or another in our lives, with the hopes we accomplish some measure of satisfaction at the end of our toils and endeavors.

You are a looooooong way from understanding the essence of life and living.

You do not come across as a content being EVEN WITH ALL THE GRACE you claim your God has blessed you with. You appear to have a soul of eternal yearning and you remain mostly spiritually and “physically” unsatisfied.


I hope you you find “your way to peace”. . . . . . Sooooooon. Children of “God” don’t have to be THIS miserable.

They are your quotes however.

Work is a means to secure your basic needs and absolutely necessary for every living full-bodied human being, unless someone else is providing for you.
I agree that we should all find our purpose or calling. If you have found yours, pray for those that are yet to find theirs.
However, note that not everyone makes a living out of their purpose. It could be a sacrificial calling and nothing comes out of it, financially. In spite of that, you still need to feed, provide the basic things of life.

Physiological needs(food , water, warmth,safety,security) rank lower than emotional needs, not to talk of self actualization. In fact, self actualization is at the very top of maslow's hierarchy of needs.
[img][/img]
Like someone else said, purpose changes as we go through life and it is a reflection of the needs in our current state.

bukatyne:


You quoted me directly out of context:
Women are not told to ignore their purpose in favor of a job; they are told to ignore their families hence that line.

These are still from the same OP:

Now, there is something called 'calling or purpose'. This is the reason why you were created on earth. People's purpose range from pulling drugged kids off the street, inventing something to make our lives easier to writing lyrics that touch the soul. It can as well be spiritual as per pastors, evangelists, teachers, etc. etc.

Every body has the duty to discover their purpose and fulfill it.

In summary, work is just work: a means to an end of living a better life and fulfilling your purpose/assignment in earth.

The summary is the hence of the thread.

It is not about work vs. family.

It is about fulfilling your purpose.

Miarose:
They are your quotes however.

Work is a means to secure your basic needs and absolutely necessary for every living full-bodied human being, unless someone else is providing for you.
I agree that we should all find our purpose or calling. If you have found yours, pray for those that are yet to find theirs.
However, note that not everyone makes a living out of their purpose. It could be a sacrificial calling and nothing comes out of it, financially. In spite of that, you still need to feed, provide the basic things of life.

Physiological needs(food , water, warmth,safety,security) rank lower than emotional needs, not to talk of self actualization. In fact, self actualization is at the very top of maslow's hierarchy of needs.
[img][/img]
Like someone else said, purpose changes as we go through life and it is a reflection of the needs in our current state.

I am trying to understand this post because the summary was stated in the OP.

bukatyne:


Work is to provide your means of livelihood: Marriage is for companionship, prevention of adultery and raising godly children.

Marriage like work is also a means to an end.

The advantage of focusing on marriage over work is that you train kids who will carry on with your legacy.

Marriage however differs in that it affects every other decision and fulfillment of your purpose.

To break it down, let's use Mary (the mother of Jesus) as an example:

Mary's purpose was to birth the savior (Jesus Christ). Let's assume she was a farmer (the Bible didn't say), that's her work. She was married to Joseph (an excellent choice because he was godly, fair and righteous).

Imagine Joseph was a rebebe man: it would not have been easy for her to fulfill her purpose; she might never have even fulfilled it.

That's why I would rate marriage above work.

Some other examples of work vs purpose are:

1. Jesus Christ: He was a carpenter (work) however, his purpose was to save the world.

2. Peter: Was a fisherman (work), his purpose was to be an apostle and being Christ to the Jews.

Etc. Etc.

Discover your purpose (the hard part), then marry someone who keys into that purpose and vice versa. While at it, you would surely have a work to earn a living.

@Miarose,

This is my post to someone else on this thread earlier.

Plead:


But wait oh... how many accounts you get sef

94 banned ones and 50 active ones.

I think “Pyguguru” aka “spambottucks”, a moderator, is in love with me.

fieryy:
Our favourite aunty bukatyne has started again o. We get it by now. You are HAPPILY MARRIED, you love being a wife material, you have found your calling, blablabla

But aunty bukatyne that your marriage that you cherish ehn is some of our nightmares

And next time, before selling opinions as facts start linking out the source


Look at this one for example :

'The children part is contributing your own quota to the world.'

Aunty, we are ALREADY OVERPOPULATED, which is leading us to a lot of problems

Or this

'An average lady has her B.Sc. before she gets married'


'I take it upon myself to tell people especially ladies to do it well aka marry the right person because it makes fulfilling their purpose easier and rids the society of weak marriages producing weak legacies and several complaints'


My own is

WHO ASKED YOU FOR ADVICE? How do you know what my purpose is?


Ladies can not be successful in peace again abi? That Kourtney Kardashian you're quoting will still choose her successful career over your own successful marriage any day any time.

All these aunties sef

Give me Kourtney's money abeg, who marriage help .

bukatyne:


Did I claim to be a victim? or what are you on about?

I have a life outside NL to feel 'victimized' by people I don't know.

I created a thread and not answerable to anyone about my premise.

Like they say 'I am responsible for what I type, everyone is responsible for what they understand.'

I am taking marriage vs. career and spent half of the OP talking about purpose and calling?

Please you came late to the party.

Thank you.

You never claimed you were, but those sensible among us who witnessed what played out, know that you're definitely the victim.
The only way anyone would think otherwise is because they're part of the gang, not the mediator/pacifier they're pretending to be.

Don't let anyone guilt-trip you for feeling attacked.

You posted what you posted.
Don't like it? Ignore or try to counter it with superior argument, not ad hominems.

Apart from the first few comments which seemed like they were trying to engage you in a conversation, most others only came in to talk about your personality, your marriage, your past threads, etc...

That my friend, is called gang-banging, ghetto style.

This op needs to be banned. Too many crap she writes. Being in a marriage with no source of income or career even pant he will have to pay is a disease.

Kaamisha:


It's a poorly written text with no sources, no coherence, poorly composed 'paragraphs', inappropriate tone and so it ultimately fails in appealing to her target audience by far. With this sentence at the beginning "Whatever variation of the advise, it generates laughter in me because" she has further revealed her motivation behind this thread and many others she has created on this forum, whether she herself is aware of it or not. The fact that she has a poor style of writing, which you learn in secondary school, coupled with such a sentence, which is full of mockery, shows that she despises what she doesn't and maybe can't have. These threads reflect her need for recognition hence the attempt to portray her marriage as an achievement and marriage in general as the answer to all social problems. In short, it is envy.

The discourse would be a totally different one if she tried to open up a discussion which addresses the Herculean task of juggling a successful career with family responsibilities but she can't have these discussions since career life is not something she has any experience with apparently. Then she gets all emotional about marriage, quoting from the Bible like God asked her to create threads on NL and gets defensive when people call her out on inexperience, ignorance and lack of exposure which come from sitting at home and watching the Kardashians.

Expert analysis!

:clap: :clap: :clap:

ednut1:
This op needs to be banned. Too many crap she writes.
Being in a marriage with no source of income or career even pant he will have to pay is a disease.

KanwuliaBaby:


Here you go again.
You start a proxy-thread “pretending” you want to discuss “whatever”, then your main focus is soon exposed to all when you finally land on what you really want to express. Do you think NL is full of preschoolers?

Why the deception?

Just open a topic in the “Dear Diaries” section and continue your fallacies of circumlocutIon from paragraph to paragraph as you wish. . . . undisturbed.

You know?
What we write online gives a true pictograph of our states of mind offline.

What marriage means to me?
I could write VOLUMES! I am an EXPERT on the topic. No need for me to be opening threads UPANDAN to discuss it. A VERRRRRY BORRRRRRING TOPIC TO ME.

Guuuuuuuuul!!!!! You can NEVER grasp or comprehend this “marriage concept” in a million years. I am living it. Are you? After 20 years +++ of marriage, you wanno ask me? I was married before I joined NL in 2008. . . . and still married TO THE SAME MAN o!

Na KPOMO? ? ?

You do not sound like you live a life of content.
We all lack in one area or another with the hopes that we accomplish a measure of fulfillment or satisfaction at the end of our toils and endeavors.

You are a looooooong way from understanding the essence of life and living.

You do not come across as a content being.
Your have a soul of eternal yearning and you remain mostly spiritually and “physically” unsatisfied.


I hope you you find “your way to peace”. . . . . . Sooooooon. Children of “God” don’t have to be THIS miserable.

You will soon be called a hater, anyone that has a different opinion from Op hates her or is attacking her as a person or the moniker as the case may be, they said it is as a result of grudge or bias, so therefore, it is assumed we do not understand the Op, meaning if we understand the Op and where she is coming from and what she types, we would always say "yes yes ride on, you are right, your topics are spot on, so much wisdom, you must have fallen down from the sky to be so full of wifely wisdom" that is the definition of not being bukky's hater.


I'll only say this once, this is a faceless forum, I will comment on threads as I see fit, whether positively or negatively, with this my moniker obviously cos I have no other, I do not care about anyone's personality because all monikers are exactly what it is; a moniker, anyone that feels like gloating on my person should do that to their hearts content, and then when they are done, they will go back to their reality, and las las everyone will be alright.