fieryy:


1. I honestly can't take that woman serious. There are women out there who aren't interested in marriage, and a happy marriage doesn't and should not stop you from having a successful career as lot of women have already proven and still are proving! I don't know what makes her think a woman has to choose between both.

2. If you have a partner (not a grown ass man baby), ready to support you and your career and by that I mean a man, who wouldn't be intimidated by your goals and wouldn't expect you to give up on these for him, achieving your goals shouldn't be a problem.

3. All her threads are about losing yourself into marriage: giving up your goals, not being too much, not being too ambitious, not being too outspoken etc. Basically everything to please a man in order to uphold a marriage status.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to be the traditional wife, but with all due respect not everybody wants that kind of life. To be honest, I think it's a quite pathetic life to live.

Besides, you're right about the lack of exposure. I think she also lacks the ability to think beyond the horizon.

Stating things like 'the average lady has her B. Sc. before getting married.' Lmaooo

Considering the fact, that the average lady is not the same as the Nigerian average lady, that claim is already bullshit. Besides, how many ladies in the world do have a B. Sc to begin with? Especially if you consider ladies in developing countries. Even in Nigeria

The world's population is growing exponentially. An overpopulated world will lead to an increase urgency in terms of global climate, ressource and waste issues.

Yet this woman is stating

'The children part is contributing your own quota to the world'

The world would actually do better without that lol.

This is not to say people shouldn't have kids of course, but no you're not contributing positively (if we were to think rationally) to the world.

1. Can you quote anywhere on this thread I said women should choose between having a career (job) and marriage?

2. Where did I say marriage stops women from achieving their goals?

3. Can you give specific examples?

Posts have been banned.

Can these trolls stop derailing my threads?

Kaamisha:


Who? Bukatyne? Yes. She always creates threads where people argue and get very very angry. By their fruit you shall know them.

Get a job Miss.

Or a husband.

Plead:
Bukatyne, you’ve to work on the way you present certain subjects.
You always say things in a way that seems like you’re giving people directives.
The fact that your traditional abi old school lifestyle is working for you doesn’t mean it’ll work for another individual and you’ve to stop bringing religion into things like this when you’re being schooled on how you should present your subjects because it’s not everyone here that is religious.(If you can’t do this,there are two things involved: create your threads on the religion section or add a special tag on the headline of your thread to make people know that the thread is meant for only religious folks.)

How in God's name can someone feel 'directed' by another person's post online?

bukatyne:


How in God's name can someone feel 'directed' by another person's post online?

I can answer this

Someone is sitting/standing/laying down right next to them as they read your posts, and that person is holding a gun to their heads and saying...
hey biitch, you must pay attention to what Bukatyne is typing, she's wiser than you for ages and you must take her opinions as gospel or you die...

* Cocks gun *

Now read, learn, and abide...you biitch with fungus for brains


That has to be it, else I can't see how anyone's words on the internet or on paper can be interpreted as direction or you forcing your will/opinions on them.

Perhaps when people feel incomplete, every opinion that doesn't align with their perceived reality (real or not) will always appear like an attack.

It's not you Bukatyne, it's them... Trust me

crackkhaus:
Bukatyne you're too nice...

I told you the other day, you should never try to have dialogues with certain people on NL.... EVER

They come at you, you rip out their guts straight outta their mouths.
This is what I do and you can observe how they avoid me by miles... the ones who can't sleep only have the coward's will to throw subs.

You can tell they ain't reading your comments without actually seeing the Bukatyne commenting it, your moniker blinds them to anything you may type regardless if it makes sense or not...and these are the ratchets you want to dialogue with? Lmao...

Instead of keeping the arguments within the context of the OP, comments become about Bukatyne with ad hominems... even the ones trying to be cool with you from among the pack, are playing you for a fiddle and really think the same way the rest do.

Bukatyne

Temi yemi

I understand myself and I have a focus.

My topics are to pass across a message so I will not let them distract me. I do not have any 'gang' or 'group' so there is no need to 'feel among.'

Unlike them, I live in the real world and see people's concerns: I see ladies in their late 20s, 30s and 40s with good jobs praying for husbands; I see people with well paying jobs burn out and resign looking for that thing; I see people only focused on families feel empty at the end of the day; I see people who regret their choice of husbands and tell everyone to look well; I have seen women dragged back by bad husbands; I have seen directionless youth and girls just drifting looking for an anchor.

A lot of people were just laid off due to COVID-19 which has actually been a wake up call to others that you need to find yourself, what you are here for etc.

How this topic became marriage vs job/career is beyond me.

@ThothHermes:

You asked a question, can't find it anyone.

My message is to the Nigerian youth/woman and so NL is the best platform to share it.

These threads are permanently there. If it transforms the life of just one person, I am grateful and happy.

Leave the noise makers alone.

My people say you don't mind the distraction of the noise makers, you face the person you are bargaining with.

bukatyne:

I don't think you understand the OP at all.

A work which can grow into a career in exceptional cases is not designed to 'fulfill' you.

It is like saying all you were created to do in life is work.

Only a calling/purpose can.

Now, it is possible although rare that what earns you a living is also your calling. That way, you are lucky enough to kill two birds with a stone.

I'll be honest about something here though.

Perhaps you should do better to gather your thoughts before presenting them in writing.
The way you would talk about a topic orally is certainly not the same way you would write about it.

I tell you this not because I don't understand your OP, I get what you're saying...but if I was someone who previously had some kind of bias against your person, I would not be patient enough to try to understand where you're coming from... I will simply react based off what I feel about you and not the message you're trying to pass across.

crackkhaus:

I'll be honest about something here though.

Perhaps you should try better to gather your thoughts, and then be able to present them in writing. The way you would talk about a topic orally is certainly not the same way you would write about it.

I tell you this not because I don't understand your OP but because if I was someone else who already had some kind of bias against your person, I would not be patient enough to try to understand where you're coming from and will simply react based off what I feel about you and not the message you're trying to pass across.

Toor.

So what areas in this OP is a trigger?

Finally some truth.




Like I've always typed, Las Las everybody go dey alright.

bukatyne:


Toor.

So what areas in this OP is a trigger?

I'm not seeing the trigger, remember I'm NEVER one to get triggered by your posts.
You can only see what you're expecting to see.


Another solution is:
Leave your writing as is, and don't change a thing. Simply insert a caveat at the beginning of your threads stating, this is my opinion, based off what I see around me...

It won't stop ratchets from getting triggered though, but at least your only response would be to direct them back to the caveat.

crackkhaus:

I'm not seeing the trigger, remember I'm NEVER one to get triggered by your posts.
You can only see what you're expecting to see.


Another solution is:
Leave your writing as is, and don't change a thing. Simply insert a caveat at the beginning of your threads stating, this is my opinion, based off what I see around me...

It won't stop ratchets from getting triggered though, but at least your only response would be to direct them back to the caveat.

Thank you for the feedback,

I think the caveat would work just fine for this one.

It was created from my phone so the short sentences.

bukatyne:


This is hilarious.

It is obviously about them.

If someone is so triggered by my threads and will still comment to scream without me engaging them first, it obviously must be them.

The descent to marriage vs career (job) was at best funny.

It is definitely about them for two reasons:

1. They just don't like you
2. What you're saying hits them like a brick.

For instance, I know for a fact that Nigerian women (majority) have more aspirations towards a successful marriage life than careers.
As a matter of fact, everyone knows this.

The ones attacking you, most of them having been dreaming about big weddings and the life of being married right since the first strand of pubic hair appeared on top of their vagînas.
Ask a sizeable number of Nigerian women where they see themselves in 10years, 98% will tell you how they see themselves as a wife and mother blessed with a loving husband, only 1% will tell you how they hope to become CEO of a business or permanent secretary in a federal job, or a well-known politician fighting for women's rights.
The remaining 1% don't even know where they'll be.

So yea, what your thread is advising is actually how they already feel...but agreeing with you will expose them as nothing more than women with no larger aspirations than having a family, neither will agreement favour their dislike for you. Most are okay at just earning a stable income at a good job, without the stress of having to think about becoming CEO, president, or astronaut.
Let hubby be the one with lofty aspirations and they will support him, is more like it.
This is the reality...

Remember, not many people even have a career. What a lot of people have are jobs, that's about it and that's fine too.

crackkhaus:

It is definitely about them for two reasons:

1. They just don't like you
2. What you're saying hits them like a brick.

For instance, I know for a fact that Nigerian women (majority) have more aspirations towards a successful marriage life than careers.
As a matter of fact, everyone knows this.

The ones attacking you, most of them having been dreaming about big weddings and the life of being married right since the first strand of pubes appeared on top of their vagînas.
Ask a sizeable number of Nigerian women where they see themselves in 10years, 98% will tell you how they see themselves as a wife and mother blessed with a loving husband, only 1% will tell you how they hope to become CEO of a business or permanent secretary in a federal job, or a well-known politician fighting for women.
The remaining 1% don't even know where they'll be.

So yea, what your thread is advising is actually how they already feel...but agreeing with you will expose them as nothing more than women with no larger aspirations than having a family, neither will agreement favour their dislike for you. Most are okay at just earning a stable income at a good job, without the stress of having to think about becoming CEO or president.
Let hubby be the one with lofty aspirations and they will support him, is more like it.
This is the reality...

Remember, not many people even have a career. What a lot of people have are jobs, that's about it and that's fine too.

Which was why I did not even talk of a career;

A company of 1,000 employees would have only one CEO, CFO, COO, CTO etc who would serve a number of years. 90% of employees would sadly not even have a career at the end.

bukatyne:


Which was why I did not even talk of a career;

A company of 1,000 employees would have only one CEO, CFO, COO, CTO etc who would serve a number of years. 90% of employees would sadly not even have a career at the end.

There you go.

An alternative to getting to that apex in an organization would be owning your own business as a woman. You are boss to yourself.

And guess what, this even favours your argument because such a woman will definitely have time for her family whenever the hell she wants, and she will not even need to focus more on her career (or business) at the expense of her family.
That's what being your own boss is about - you get to control your own time.

bukatyne:


Get a job Miss.

Or a husband.

When you get an education.

Kaamisha:


When you get an education.

If you were indeed educated, you would have better composure.

bukatyne:


If you were indeed educated, you would have better composure.

I am very composed. Actually enjoying myself. You got defensive from page one because as always you recycled opinions you were fed with but got overwhelmed when you had to explain and back them up.

crackkhaus:

There you go.

An alternative to getting to that apex in an organization would be owning your own business as a woman. You are boss to yourself.

And guess what, this even favours your argument because such a woman will definitely have time for her family whenever the hell she wants, and she will not even need to focus more on her career (or business) at the expense of her family.
That's what being your own boss is about - you get to control your own time.

Funny, I don't even think being your boss gives you more time (except if it is a business for sustenance.)

My CEO spends more time at work/working than I do and I am sure most people will say the same.

It is not even about having time for family (which is another discussion), it is about not loosing sight that a job/work is just a means to an end.

bukatyne:


Funny, I don't even think being your boss gives you more time (except if it is a business for sustenance.)

My CEO spends more time at work/working than I do and I am sure most people will say the same.

It is not even about having time for family (which is another discussion), it is about not loosing sight that a job/work is just a means to an end.

Right, but guess what?
Your CEO can decide she's not going to work for the next two weeks simply because she wants to stretch her legs at home with her family, and no one will question her.

Can you do that?

crackkhaus:

Right, but guess what?
Your CEO can decide she's not going to work for the next two weeks simply because she wants to stretch her legs at home with her family, and no one will question her.

Can you do that?

Why not?

bukatyne:


If you were indeed educated, you would have better composure.

An alternate.

bukatyne:


Why not?

Bullshīt

Na you get yourself?

crackkhaus:

Bullshīt

Na you get yourself?

Of course yes