Myhusband:
[b][/b]

I don't think you understand what you posted?


For the sake of sanity, can you modify your contradictory post?

The guys is insane jare

Theundertaker:
I left my parents house at 28 , they said all sorts but I humbled myself , to save, I got a stable job at 25 , b4 I left the house I bought television , bed , fridge n and others before I rented a small place n took my things, life is all about planing . Don’t let ur emotions control you .

At 20yrs,most ppl are still in year 1 or 2.
That is if they're lucky to have gotten admission early and have ppl who can sponsor their education.
There's a very big difference b/w 20/21 to 28yrs.

My mom never did this to me but faced with such a scenario my natural reaction would be:

I didn't ask you to bring me into the f**king world b**ch...

You push me any further and I might have to defenestrate you.

You wouldn't want that now, would you?

I feel your pain OP. Long as this isn't something made-up stuff. Trust me.

obowunmi:
Your mother is an ABUSIVE buffoon.

Is this the best you can say? Just ask yourself.

na just that little matter wan make you comot for house, if i tell you half of wetin my papa do me you will drop tears for me but i didnt leave till i knew i was ready and capable of fending and taking care for myself ,its not that easy and rosy on the outside , to rent and pay for a house or even squat with someone isnt easy, feed 3 times a day even worst when you dont have any cooking skills, nepa bill join , you go wan look nice too.

SweetCunt97:
So what age no b parent responsibility? Personally we should have a law that grants 18 yrs the freedom to leave home and be independent if they want just like d west.

A person may leave his parent's house by will , because of necessity or because of a desire for freedom a parent may not grant.

Leaving by will means the young individual packs up , moves out and struggles to earn a living without the support of his parents.

Leaving because of necessity means the individual has to get an apartment in a different town because he doesn't want to stay in his school's hostel (for formal education) or his master does not provide shelter for apprentices (for skill acquisition) . In this case family provides support and the lad may visit during festive periods. Technically, the Lad is still a dependent of his parents but doesn't live with them. Infact all NYSC students live alone for one year until their service year elapses and they cannot find a job. That's how graduates who once lived alone return to their parents .

Those who leave because of freedom leave to partake in illicit activities or to live together with the love of their lives especially when their parents wouldn't welcome such cohabitation.
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"The west" is vague and broad. In the United States, Students who leave "by will" usually do so because their parents cannot afford the cost of tertiary education. They get Students loans which they go to school with and live to pay for the rest of their lives if they do not get a big break. Such Loans are not available in Nigeria and many of those who take such Loans abroad would rather a Nigerian system where a member of their extended family sponsored their education.

An intelligent young man whose father owns a duplex in the town he works would rather a neat car than a
500k rent a year. Such wise person will build a house faster because he has utilized his scarce resources and at the same time enjoyed free food , free accommodation and restriction from cohabitating with a lover who may drain his resources. That's a wise economic decision.
I don't have a formal statistic to back this up but as a person from a family with few properties to rent and lease, I'll tell you that the best group of people to rent one's real property are Salary earners and people above the age of 25 in entrepreneurship. Through out my 10 years of understanding the landlord business there was no under -30 tenant from a poor family who paid his second rent on time.
It's not about saying you paid rent at the age of 15. The first rent is the easiest to pay. If you do not meet your landlord 1 week after its expiration, then you have no reason to shade those who have patience and a long term plan of leaving their parents when they "Can really" stand on their own.

It's not about leaving your parents , the poor and innocent Almajiri kids you all despise left their parents at even younger ages. The big question is if Nigeria offers same opportunities as the West. One wonders why we doubt the ages of our sportsmen.

ylaa:
Where will he leave to? The world is no longer safe. I remember an innocent boy who left his parent's house due to pressure, squatted with friends who were into underground business, unknown to him. Not long they were caught and the innocent boy was mentioned, no one defended him, he was killed along side with the robbers. Home is the best place abeg. No good friends anymore. Betrayals here and there. I pray God to sort him out.

You seem a nice person. Can you be my first friend from Nairaland please?.

I dont know how it works in Nigeria, but after 18 years you should stop being your parents' responsibility. Therefore, you need to move out, rent your own apartment, pay your own car note and insurance. Your parents should have already removed you from their health insurance if you are not currently in college. In fact, some parents will literally pack your things ready waiting for you on your high school graduation day. The next day, you need to move out. Dont ask me why please. Such is life.

Oluromantic:

21 is not too old to stay with his parent

After they'll say guys are bashing girls too much on this forum. Is there sense in what this one said now?

Everyone has the right to his own opinion.

Don't think of leaving yet o.... Just endure it for now... Mothers can be like that at times sha.... Las Las when she finds the money she will appease you... Mine does

HarryDuce:
I think you should just stay put as many have stated. Life is hard. Unless you think you can't stay anymore then good luck to you. Parents can be like that sometimes. Don't think too much of it.

---

I can't help it but something in me suspects that this is an advertisement for opera news.

Almost everything is commercialized this days o. Now we don’t know what is real, moderators and bloggers are out there to use our energy to get traffic

WeRblessed:
I dont know how it works in Nigeria, but after 18 years you should stop being your parents' responsibility. Therefore, you need to move out, rent your own apartment, pay your own car note and insurance. Your parents should have already removed you from their health insurance if you are not currently in college. In fact, some parents will literally pack your things ready waiting for you on your high school graduation day. The next day, you need to move out. Dont ask me why please. Such is life.

Are you in Nigeria? Or have you lived anywhere close to Nigeria?

It doesn’t work like that in this part of world where good job, opportunity is extremely scarce and gross poverty is the legacy our government has left for us.

samicine:
Greetings one and all. I'll try to make my lamentation as short as possible.

My mother accused me of stealing her 2k, but I assure you, I didn't. The money got missing on Thursday night according to her and my 13 year old brother. I won't do such a thing, because the times are hard and the pandemic is fueling this hard times. I'm not lazy, I kind of work from home, I write for opera news hub and to some extent I get money from there, currently I have 19k in my account. I have no motive of taking her money, but she insists I took it, and is currently threatening to throw me out of the house.

This is not the first time such thing has happened. When I was still in secondary school, money got missing often and she'll blame me, beat me and starve me for stealing her money, but God helped me and the culprit was found, my other brother was caught, he is 18 now and doesn't stay with us anymore. He stays with my dad. She never apologized for what she did and the scars of that emotional and physical abuse still ripples across my body. But this time I'm not sure I will forgive her if the money is found. I'm planning on leaving home and starting my life somewhere, it's hard, it might just be my naivety speaking, but I need your advice.

The only skill I have is writing and web designing, which I'm almost getting good at. I just need help and guidance. I'm a 200level student and I major in psychology. I'll be 21 by November.

Sit ur mum down n explain things to her. Remind her of all those years she beat n starved u for crimes u never committed.

If she insists, I'll advise u to find a way n leave the house for her.

Where is ur dad?

Exactly stay at home for now, because I see bad stories of young men mixing with bad friends, who put them into trouble, just focus on yourself and be developing your skills, if you have a place where you can be alone at home, that is even better, go to a private place and start improving your amazing skills or do more research online about jobs and skills sets, and start planning what you need to develop and know, if you have something outside that develops you, go and develop.

vanida6:
Shey no be u dey steal money why leave nah,,,if u leave dat means u re guilty,,,,infact why will a grown man like u been stayin in dsam place wit ur mum,,,just pay her 2k back nd find anoda place to enjoy ur life dear

See the dumbass face

samicine don't leave that house unless she physically kicks you out. Insults are nothing but words, just let it enter through one ear & commot for another. You need to develop a thick skin. Do not allow ur emotions to trick you into leaving home at such a young age.

This is the reason why I don't like to dey watch Yoruba movie...

It been dey kind fustrating sometime..

samicine:
Greetings one and all. I'll try to make my lamentation as short as possible.

My mother accused me of stealing her 2k, but I assure you, I didn't. The money got missing on Thursday night according to her and my 13 year old brother. I won't do such a thing, because the times are hard and the pandemic is fueling this hard times. I'm not lazy, I kind of work from home, I write for opera news hub and to some extent I get money from there, currently I have 19k in my account. I have no motive of taking her money, but she insists I took it, and is currently threatening to throw me out of the house.

This is not the first time such thing has happened. When I was still in secondary school, money got missing often and she'll blame me, beat me and starve me for stealing her money, but God helped me and the culprit was found, my other brother was caught, he is 18 now and doesn't stay with us anymore. He stays with my dad. She never apologized for what she did and the scars of that emotional and physical abuse still ripples across my body. But this time I'm not sure I will forgive her if the money is found. I'm planning on leaving home and starting my life somewhere, it's hard, it might just be my naivety speaking, but I need your advice.

The only skill I have is writing and web designing, which I'm almost getting good at. I just need help and guidance. I'm a 200level student and I major in psychology. I'll be 21 by November.

I am not in your shoes right now but I assure you, I have worn it before,if you have to give her the 2k from your 19k please do..this is not the time to move out,it's not funny out there with anty coro and hardship.

PrecisionFx:


Sit ur mum down n explain things to her. Remind her of all those years she beat n starved u for crimes u never committed.

If she insists, I'll advise u to find a way n leave the house for her.

Where is ur dad?

Oga that sit and discuss doesn’t always work o. The best time to tell her is when she least expect it.

Exactly, emotions are dangerous, always stay connected with the logical and greater reasoning.

SpecialAgent:
samicine don't leave that house unless she physically kicks you out. Insults are nothing but words, just let it enter through one ear & commot for another. You need to develop a thick skin. Do not allow ur emotions to trick you into leaving home at such a young age.

stanliwise:
Almost everything is commercialized this days o. Now we don’t know what is real, moderators and bloggers are out there to use our energy to get traffic

Abi oh. But I chose to answer, just incase.

African Mothers damaging their Children.
One day we would have a Long talk about this

cruzydal:

This is the best advice . It’s harsher outside . Man up you are 21, at that age I was already paying rent in Lagos . I love what your mum is doing she will make u a man . Just try and be successful @ op that’s the best way to gain respect

The only sense you made was in your 2nd sentence.
How can you say you love what d mum is doing?
Do you know emotional abuse can damage people for life and make them unable to have normal relationships with people forever?

stanliwise:
Are you in Nigeria? Or have you lived anywhere close to Nigeria?

It doesn’t work like that in this part of world where good job, opportunity is extremely scarce and gross poverty is the legacy our government has left for us.

Oh wow. I thought it was like that everywhere including Nigeria.

vanida6:
Shey no be u dey steal money why leave nah,,,if u leave dat means u re guilty,,,,infact why will a grown man like u been stayin in dsam place wit ur mum,,,just pay her 2k back nd find anoda place to enjoy ur life dear

Who is this one, u didn't read or u didn't understand d story?

You r dumb asf, You can’t write properly and you are bold enough to call someone you don’t even know from adam a thief.

You cunt.

vanida6:
Shey no be u dey steal money why leave nah,,,if u leave dat means u re guilty,,,,infact why will a grown man like u been stayin in dsam place wit ur mum,,,just pay her 2k back nd find anoda place to enjoy ur life dear

The course you’re studying should be able to help you manage situations like this

You still have a living mother, well that means you're Lucky, I lost my mum at a tender age dunno what motherly love or hatred feels like,all the same we all have been accused wrongly for stealing in one way or the other,so don't think too much,cos thinking na problem, just reason the solution which is getting your own apartment,your respect go dey when you don Begin pay house rent, you Go see say all those babe's for your street wey no dey come around go begin visit you...Meanwhile do you smoke weed I get one last jumbo I dey smoke now,come kiss before I go smoke am finish

VanillaIyce:
I am not in your shoes right now but I assure you, I have worn it before,if you have to give her the 2k from your 19k please do..this is not the time to move out,it's not funny out there with anty coro and hardship.

There is a point of not giving her the 2k and that point is what is called integrity.
Integrity = to your life.

If you fail at integrity you may never get anywhere in life, it is fine when you avoid trouble but when at the expense of your integrity then it is worth you keep the trouble.

Op should just stand his ground that he didn’t steal the money and he knows nothing about it, if the mother wants 2k, he can help but not giving her 2k to confirm her suspicions. If you go this route you will have a lot of things that would trap you in the future especially when it involves your mom trusting you. E.g inheritance, recommending you to someone etc

BigJoe19:
You think it's easy for a 20year-old to live on his own in this country, it's like you are not from Nigeria. Most under 22years old that do not stay with their parents are mostly yahoo boys and drug addicts.

Bros at 20 I was already a graduate and doing my Nysc,You have lived with your mum for 20yrs u should know her better than us,more soo they must be a reason she is always pointing accusation finger on you when things get missing,pray and work .

Oluromantic:

21 is not too old to stay with his parent

After they'll say guys are bashing girls too much on this forum. Is there sense in what this one said now?

I agree with you...this kind of lady always push guys to do what they are not suppose to do...

Well done. Not many of your age mates even think of working to earn some money. However maybe you need to stay with your Dad a little cos as it is your current environment is not healthy for you