Can cheats change?

@OP
Do you still love him?

he has told me to give him another chance. he has tried changin but he is cheatin but ignorant dat i know of it,

You mean He reverted to his cheating ways after the promise.

BTW, what do you mean by 'he tried changing', are you making excuses for him?

Sorry, don't mean to be rash, just wanna get the picture a tad clearer.

Patience,dnt argue wit him, don't even acuse him.Move around d house wiv a free mind,dn't evn make him feel u re bodered

Omolola1:

Patience,dnt argue wit him, don't even acuse him.Move around d house wiv a free mind,dn't evn make him feel u re bodered

And how would these bring about a change/solution to the problem?

Please educate me.

Madam, you need to reignite his passion for you, Men are like children, they need a lot of attention. If you don't give it to him, he is going to get it elsewhere. Start taking care of yourself and looking sexy, go buy some indecency videos and use some of your learned new skills on him. Your husband needs a wife at home, (meaning, cook,clean, take good care of yourself, look like arm candy when he takes you out) and a total slut with zero inhibitions in the bedroom. Totally wear him out in the bedroom, with that combination, i am sure he will gradually stop cheating.

I know you are hurting right now, but if you still love him then you need to do your own part to keep your marriage together. Lifelong marriage is not an easy thing, but as long as you keep being creative and reinventing yourself, your marriage will start being fun and he will be looking forward to the new things you will shock him with.

Abekeade08:

Madam, you need to reignite his passion for you, Men are like children, they need a lot of attention. If you don't give it to him, he is going to get it elsewhere. Start taking care of yourself and looking sexy, go buy some indecency videos and use some of your learned new skills on him. Your husband needs a wife at home, (meaning, cook,clean, take good care of yourself, look like arm candy when he takes you out) and a total slut with zero inhibitions in the bedroom. Totally wear him out in the bedroom, with that combination, i am sure he will gradually stop cheating.

I know you are hurting right now, but if you still love him then you need to do your own part to keep your marriage together. Lifelong marriage is not an easy thing, but as long as you keep being creative and reinventing yourself, your marriage will start being fun and he will be looking forward to the new things you will shock him with.

Spot on!!

Some men would ALWAYS cheat no matter what,the wife can be a working class lady,pretty,intelligent,caring,loving and you name it,but a cheating man would always be a cheating man.

@OP,just keep praying,so that he don't infect you with unnecessary disease.
God help women.

Patience,dnt argue wit him, don't even acuse him.Move around d house wiv a free mind,dn't evn make him feel u re bodered

How is this supposed to help her situation??

@koolchicoo,
Thanks, I have neva been married, but that's going to be my own approach to my own marriage, wen i do get married.

Poster: once a cheater, always a cheater.
Your options are;
1.Cut off his d[i]i[/i]kk.
2. Forgive him
2.Get a divorce.
3. Sue his a[s]ss[/s] rear end for all the money he's got.
(I recommend number 1)  

@ goldie: you are correct that some men will cheat no matter what, but can you also accept that we women sometimes exacerbate the situation.

Look at the Op's quote below.

i av bin overwelmed wit d care of two kids n he said i stopped givin him attention,

Once you start to neglect your husband, it doesn't take rocket scientist to figure out what will happen next. Having children is not an excuse to neglect your husband's needs.

@ Poster

Sorry not much one can do with a nookie junkie husband! Pray until sometin happens!!!

Abekeade08:

How is this supposed to help her situation??

@koolchicoo,
Thanks, I have neva been married, but that's going to be my own approach to my own marriage, wen i do get married.

That explains a bit,you won't understand what it takes,not until you are wearing the(marriage) shoe.Hence i won't assume or caution the OP,for neglecting her husband.I wish her husband would understand,that it is hard work to care for two kids,cause i do not see a reason why the man should cheat.An understanding man is suppose to support his wife,during such phase .Cheating on her would not make him a total happy man,instead it would make him a confuse,sad man.

.

It is hard for ANYONE to stay in a marriage KNOWING their spouse is cheating on them. I would have to think long and hard about the situation if my husband cheats. I rebuke that in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

You will have to make decision on what you would do and whatever that you decides to do. Be happy with your decision. It is sad when we make a decision that we end up being depressed and cause havoc to anyone we come in contact with. I can imagine what you are going through and how hurt you must be.

Any man or woman will be crushed to know that their spouse is cheating on them and then not knowing if it something that you could have done. Well, just know this. You are not responsible for your husband's cheating way. You make sure you set an example by not cheating and being who you are; a good wife.

You have to make sure that you are TESTED and negative. You will have to make a decision regarding your health and your children.

Whatever you do, remember be happy with your decision. When momma is not happy, NO ONE IS HAPPY.

Abekeade08:

@koolchicoo,
Thanks, I have neva been married, but that's going to be my own approach to my own marriage, wen i do get married.

Nothing do u sweery.

@OP

I wish you had involved your husband a bit more in taking care of the kids inorder to make him realise that raising kids is no child's play. Taking care of babies can be a pleasure, a demanding one. Wish your husband had been a bit more understanding instead of using that as an excuse to pounce on the next available female.
Are you working? How strong are you financially? If you are stable enough to support yourself and the kids, then I'd suggest you move out and start spending some time away from him. The distance should make him realise what he had been risking all this while and also it could help you to take a clear decision. Also please do something to that dipping self-esteem. If you dont work on it, no one else will.

Since you've been married for 3 years with 2 kids, I assume they are both very very young. Please bear in mind that little minds can be like sponge and all the things they hear, see and feel now would have an impact in their adult life too. So whatever you and their father decide, make sure it is in the best interest of the kids.

190:

when next hes sleeping in the bedroom

drop a hot pressing iron on his bare a[i]s[/i]s

that should send the message across

How bizarre you are, Drop something tangible @OP,be prayerful and always be their for him no matter what.Try and mend those areas you know you are not putting much effort into, I know he will make a rethink,being harsh with him won't solve the case but worsen it more!!! SHALOM

@ Coodi, This is a tough one but I tend to agree with Chaircover because the situation has got to the stage where you have to start thinking and planning ahead. It is a difficult situation. Permit me however, to make a few observations from your post.

1.

coodi:
i av bin marid for three yrs wit two kids

IMHO, having 2 kids in 3 years seems to be quite tight and you most likely will not even have time for yourself, talk less of your hubby. I'm not saying this to justify your husband's actions, but you may need to slow down a bit and try to put things in order before going for a third (if you intend to).

2.

coodi:
i av tried quittin but he has told me to give him another chance.

This is the part that makes me feel there is still hope! I think you should hang on to this and capitalize on the fact that he could still change. that means you should do all you can to get him to focus on you. Abekeade08 has given some nice suggestions which may be worth the try. It's definitely not easy but I think you should give it all you've got.

3.

coodi:
i av prayed n still doin

Prayer changes things. Dont stop praying, besides, God knows how best to pull you through.

I wish you well.

@OP

Lock him up!