Luvlee:

smtimes you hv to because sm pple r different, there r sme couples who can sort it out themselves and sme jst can't, Understand what am saying cos i knw sm pple will keep sayin dnt involve family or friends bt in a case where d husband or wife is abusive @ d slightest quarel or if maybe 1 partner jst loves to keep malice(u knw there r pple like dis, they can do it for as long as mnths, yrs). I say dis from experience cos my sis husband neva listens until my mum tlks to him

iice:

I don't know about involving them but i would tell them. My brothers and I are very tight (we have a different relationship with our parents, close but not as close as we are). There are times we move/operate as a collective unit. SILs are integrated into this unit, so basically we all know whats going on. Just that as a unit, we also share alot of similarities/traits. . .that means we tend to ignore people. So when my bro and his wife quarrels (they don't tell us but we know. . .we just ignore them because basically they can take care of themselves and their problems, even our parents keep out of it unless expressively asked to make a comment . Conclusively, even if i tell them, the reaction will be nonchalance unless it turns physical, then he will be buried I don't see any disadvantages because they will always be a part of my life. He can involve his family but if they are gonna be hounding my azz or all that long talks, i can't promise i won't act nonchalant

MzDarkSkin:

My family and my partner will not meet until i am sure of him.

After the meeting, my family will now the basics: his name,
what he looks like, where he works/what he does, hopefully his intentions
and that we are together. Other than that my family is to be locked off
from our quarrels and personal issues unless i see it to be relevant to them.

190:

Hmmm,

Good answer but so far so good friends are plying in certain relationships

which certainly isn't good!

deniyor:

Do you mean prying? how would you handle that 190?

datnigga:

ori bobo deniyor yi ti daru mehn, look at aw dis negro put hat for im head like one of those ppl about to be deported . ignorant fool!!

Damn I did a number on you. Ma binu. Da rigi me

ogugua88:

My answer is emphatic no! Quarreling/abuse is dramatic enough as it is. I definitely wouldn't my parents involved. One thing leading to another and all of a sudden my dad's facing a murder charge.

I've never been married, so I can't answer in terms of husband/wife. As for bf/gf, whether it be a quarrel or him getting the job of a lifetime, my parents won't know about it.

Mynd_44:

My family don't get in anybody's issues unless invited and we don't even like it when a member of the family drags anyone into his personal life except if it is a serious case

Lax75:

I personally think its an extremely bad idea and toxic to the relationship.

Lax75:

First off, family and close friends are more times than not biased and hardly objective.

Another thing is this. Couples fight and make up all the time. If one goes telling one's family/friends their side of the story, its just one side of the story and it creates animosity towards the significant other, and even if the couple does make up and there is forgiveness between the couple, close family/friends tend to hold onto grudges. From this point on, bad seeds begin flourishing and eventually destroy a relationship that really could work out.

Lax75:

@ Talina.

Thx hon. Its all personal experience. I always like to say that there are 3 sides to a story, His, Hers and the Truth. Unfortunately, close family and friends "usually" but not always, tend to ignore this school of thought whenever one decides to involve them.

Personally, I make it a choice NOT to involve family. You will find out that alot of relationships (amongst Nigerians/Africans) would work out better if not for family involvement.

deniyor:

Are you single, in a relationship or married?

talina:

And I also feel this way because of past personal experience. Everyone needs a " sounding board" at times in life, but finding an objective one can be hard. I guess its about finding the right partner,with the same views about working out problems. Relationships work out better, anywhere on the planet, if family is not dragged into a couples disagreements.

Mrs.Chima:

Deniyor.

I do not support family members getting in married couple's disagreements because then the family members will be forced to take sides. In some cases, I have witnessed family members choosing the opposite side meaning the husband if it is the wife's family or the wife if it is the husband's family.

It is not a good idea. Now if there is a discussion that affects the whole family then invite the family in like celebration, adoption, in SOME CASES divorce dispute, and moving to another state or country.

I also want to add that women NEED TO STOP CONFIDING to their friends about their husbands. It is a no no. I am not talking about something trivia and generic such as "we went to the movies and ate a nice dinner". I am talking about serious matter such as his health conditions, intimate problems or prowess, and personal matter that should be kept between HUSBAND AND WIFE.

One thing I will never share is PERSONAL info of Mr. Chima and I because it is no one business but Mr. Chima and I. Women should take suit. The reason I am saying women because women has it WORSE than men.