I have been seeing increasing rate of men/women in the west going home to pick spouse lately. I understand the situation when some have been dating for sometimes before they leave Nigeria and they just go back home to marry their girlfriend but for those that go home and hitch a guy/girl, I find it very absurd.

Of course, the high divorce rate of those are very high. A lot of guys for example normally get a girl they wouldnt have been able to talk to if they were in Naija. A lot of the girls only hear "america" or "UK" and dont even take time to analyze who is asking for their hands in marriage. A lot of guys too would jump at the opportunity to marry a girl that will bring them to america and even when they have a lifelong girlfriend there in Nigeria - The idea of american dream is just too much to "fashi". Your friend and family would even call u carzy if u miss that opportunity.

One thing I am bringing out is that most of the marriages or hookups are not based on Love. Some never even developed to be a good relationship before jumping into marriage. The excuses a lot normally gives is " we talk all the time on the phone" duh! talking on the phone is different from seeing each other and knowing what the other like and doesnt like. Some never even got to access their spouse in close quarters since the few days they see whenever the other is in vacation in Nigeria, is like honeymoon.

I really don't have problem with long distance relationship but in a case when it is down to economics than love, hey maybe that is why the rate of divorce among africans here is increasing. Some of the guys gets here and realize, damn! there are lotta fine girls here and cant deal with that and eventually abandon their wife. Some girls too after being in america for like a year and get used to the environment will now realize they never really like the guy they married in real sense. The whole american veil over their eyes is gone by that time and they tend to see things the way they are supposed to see it without the whole hype of coming abroad.


Guys why do you think guys go home to marry?

i DONT KNOW, BUT SOMETHING INSIDE ME TELLS ME I SHOULD MARRY A NIGERIAN.

@Topic

Yes oh! It is a very good idea to go to Nigeria and get a spouse. May not work in all cases but it is definitely an option.  Most people who have lived abroad for a long time just do not feel comfortable settling down with someone who has lived outside Nigeria too long!  The Irony is that they look at themselves in the mirror and are not happy with what they have become due to the "abuse" and "conflicts" encountered with "culture shock"!  MOST OF THE NIGERIANS LIVING ABROAD DO NOT TRUST THEMSELVES TO FALL IN LOVE AMONGST THEMSELVES! To much to handle in terms of frustrations living abroad!  A JJC in Nigeria will not know the deal till 2 kids later! _{Oops! Too late to turn back now----}

The best thing is to start afresh!  It is a cleansing feeling about "going back to home base"!  Personally I will choose to marry someone from Nigeria first than marry a "damaged" good from here.  By damaged I mean mentally abused by a foreign culture most are struggling to understand---especially if you were not born abroad.   In America for example, the system can be very brutal and so you need to get some relief from something different than what you are use to dealing with on a daily basis abroad.  Let us just say it is a psychological mind bender!

n-guage:

i DONT KNOW, BUT SOMETHING INSIDE ME TELLS ME I SHOULD MARRY A NIGERIAN.

That's okay!  We make good wives too---depends on how you handle us!

People go home to pick their spouse because that's where they are from.
they believe in their tradition.