Sunday, April 10, 2011[size=14pt]
Signs she is not interested[/size]

Kemi Lawal


Throughout life, chances are you're going to pursue a number of women before you find 'The One.' And during your various pursuits, it's likely that you're going to spend time pursuing at least a handful of women who are not, in fact, interested. While it would be nice if all women were straightforward enough to just tell you flat out if you're wasting your time on her, most would rather let you come to that conclusion on your own to avoid hurting your feelings. Unfortunately, if you want to avoid wasting your time (and money!), you're going to have to learn how to read all the signs, instead of just the ones you want to see.




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Sometimes, signs of lack of interest are blatant and sometimes, they are vague. If you're meeting someone for the first time and getting mixed signals, the woman may simply be nervous. In that case, you need more time to gauge her interest.

If you've known her a good while and are confused as to her interest in you, analyse how she acts and reacts around you.

She doesn't return your calls. If you ask her about it, she might say that her phone died, she didn't have her phone with her, she was busy, or that she meant to call back but something came up and she totally forgot about it. Now, these are all perfectly valid reasons and they may well be true, so don't pass judgment solely on a missed phone call or text.

She's never available. Every time you suggest spending some time together, regardless of how casual you make it sound, she has other plans. You should use good judgment when deciding if she is legitimately unable to spend time with you or if she's just making excuses.

She keeps conversations with you to a minimum. If trying to talk to her is starting to resemble Pepe le Pew chasing after Penelope Pussycat, it's time to move on. A woman who's interested will look forward to talking to you and try to initiate conversation, not run away at top speed when she sees you coming. And if, when you finally do manage to corner her into conversation, she makes up a reason to leave, well, do I really need to explain?

Her eyes wander during conversation. When a woman avoids making eye contact with you, it's a bad sign in the romance department. She's not interested in you or what you're saying and is probably looking for a way out.

She avoids physical contact. If she greets everyone else with a big bear hug and you end up with a quick, one-armed hug - or less - it's a safe bet she's not only not interested, but perhaps is put off by you. If you've experienced this with more than one woman, you should probably set aside some time for a little reflection. And showers.

She seems closed off in general. When you talk to her, does she ask questions? Does she offer information about herself or share stories or memories? An interested woman will joke, tell stories, share memories and most likely touch your arm at some point. If she keeps her distance and doesn't seem to enjoy being near you, there's no doubt about it: you need to let this one go.

She says she'll be right back and doesn't come back. Congratulations, you've just been ditched. May be. If she apologises for it later, don't sweat it; but if it's not the first time she's done it and you're seeing other signs, just save yourself the trouble and find someone who returns your interest.

She openly shows interest for someone else, especially around you. Ouch. Many women can plead guilty to this one: repeatedly bringing up one man in order to show that she's already interested in someone else. If this isn't an obvious cry for you to leave her alone, I'm sorry to say that you have the IQ of a brick.

She draws attention to her flaws or plays up her friends. If she does one or both of these, she's trying to direct your attention elsewhere. A woman would never brag about her flaws or try to make her friend sound like a better catch to a guy she's interested in.

She tells you. You can't get much more obvious than saying it flat-out: "I'm not interested in you." If she's big enough to tell you to your face, without playing games or beating around the bush, then be man enough to respect the fact that she doesn't want a relationship with you; and find a woman who does.

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