MzDarkSkin:

lol shut up Chima.

Shy-One:

@ Chima:

These men need to EVOLVE.  If you are not getting your way.  Focus on ANOTHER WAY.  I used to get upset when things didn't seem to be going my way.  God pointed out to me - that I am either doing that act or expecting that response to occur at the wrong time or in the wrong way.

African men - if your African woman isn't responding as you want at that moment.  Focus your attention on ANOTHER WAY instead of exploding to violence.  Explode your azz on a walk outside, turn on the silent treatment, start writing a business plan for a new business, if she isn't cooking for you, cook for yourself and/or go out to eat. 

Change is the key word here.  Swallowing pride and reaching for a changed response - because her response towards you "Her watching you not explode" could actually be life altering for her and for you and you could definitely experience a closer bonding depending on how you handle your disappointment with her.

Many, many times an act of love is all she is looking to receive - Romance fuels motivation; motivation is the foundation to finance.  It is very difficult to move to a new environment and expect the same actions that existed in a different environment.  So many times Adults refuse to be the one to give.  When if you are the one who gives in to the other - that one act could ignite a flame in the other person that opens a floodgate of tendencies in them to do exactly what you want them to do and they will even do it better than you had anticipated.

Shy-One:

@ Chima:

One thing a new environment does - and IT DOES IT IMMEDIATELY UPON ENTERING THAT NEW ENVIRONMENT - it encourages you and yours to relax your "rigid walls, ideas, actions" - that is a side effect of all new environments.  New environments kill traditional ways learned from foreign environments.  It does that to Africans coming to America and to Americans going to Africa and any other areas as well.

What is traditional in America many times is un-traditional in Africa and vice versa.  African tradition can be viewed as odd here and vice versa.  You WILL CHANGE; whoever we are; anyone going into a foreign environment will adapt to that culture to a certain extent.  It is to be expected and response should accommodate that change.

Shy-One:

They are not only rooted in their culture

But they are stressed the hell out in a foreign land.

That is why I wrote what I wrote above.  Their response should be on a totally different level.  Chima - they are aware of their actions.

I believe that they have met as groups in the U.S. - discussing these reactions they have towards their spouse.  Africans many times organize themselves in groups more so than we AA.

We AA are much more disjointed and don't work together as much.  So they have talked and I would be shocked if they Weren't Already Trying to Troubleshoot this Issue as It Is Highly Reflective on The African Male.

Shy-One:

I agree with you There.

I am good - been on NL for a few hours today. I'll catch you another time. Have a great evening Chima.

Shy said: The problem is that African Men seem to get homesick for Africa and African Culture and African Behaviors - these men experience loneliness for what they are used to receiving, depression occurs when that desire isn't being met - because more times than not - African men don't take too well to this culture as it can most definitely undermine the position they are used to controlling/holding. This can be a major stressor combined with being misunderstood and ridiculed by Americans and in the end - he/she react and become overly sensitive towards each other behind closed doors and it escalates to actions that go to far - those acts we read about via news because they went too far in their discipline, response, action, reaction. The U.S. can be a shock to the system as the U.S. and Africa are quite dissimilar in soo many different ways.