You have 2 girlfriends, your father insults you, your mother nags you but none of your girlfriends has chopped off your ........ You've got away way too lightly!!

You r too old to still be living with them. MOVE OUT!!

Seriously speaking tho.. parents are sometimes arghhh... urghhh. Saying you hate them is not the right thing to do. You might hate their attitude, but dont say you hate them.

Seems like we've got lots of therapist on the house. Timmy, you better start listerning to all these free advice. A professional therapist would've charged $300/hr just to sit on his couch.

We've all been there. Once you grow out of your youthful exuberance, you'll see life differently. Trust me.

talk about parents nagging and all that I moved out of my parents home because i couldn't take it any more..... but guess what they don't just evaporate out of your life. i love my parents tho

[center]All the wise men in the house have said it all,

I LOVE MY Parents.

One thing I know is that they gave birth to us and all the time they watched grow and they wonder,

WHY IS THIS KID NOT PERFECT.

They see the things that we do and they get disgusted, it is like you watching a kid doing the wrong thing,

while the young chap thinks his right.[/center]

well i understand his situation i live with my parents too and they still think my 27yr old brother is still a baby. i mean the first time ever he had a g/f they tell him he is too young to be having a g/f in his life and to top his situation he is still living with us in the house. even me that want to go stay in the dorm at school they asked me if my mates are in the dorm well duh!!! and they always call my cell when im at school asking me when are u coming home like they don't know i have things to do at school.

i already move out of my dad house when i turn 19 year old, and i still can't stand him. he said i don't have no choice than to love him because he's the dad God want me to have and i can't do anything about it. something i just feel like killing him  j/k but i can't, sometime's he call me just to look for my trouble.

I dont live with my parents..i wouldnt want to live with them for a long time but its all good. I love them both

n

to seun my mum said u are always welcome to come and live with her   she adopts everyone lol she said she would love you but not control you your a man and should be left to live your own life as one  

to timmy
im sorry u are goin through this   i have a good relationship with my mum so i cant say i know how u feel
my dad dident give a hoot but i always had mum to be there when i needed someone and she knows when i need my space
mum said you too are welcome to come lol

It's normal for a person to have a not-so-good relationship with his/her parent.
a lot of people don't get along with their parents. so it's normal.


the only times people have perfect relationship with their parents are when they are very old and when they are very young.
ex, you'll get along well with your parent and love them well when your a baby, 10 years old e.t.c (because they basically decide your life and you can't think for yourself then)
and the only other time you'll love them again is when you're old (this time, you both share the same interests and older people's understanding so it's rare that you argue a lot) .
But when you're in between young and old, you two are like two diferent opposite people with totally different interests and thinking that it's hard for you to get along with them (ex, let's say both of you go to the mall to decide a dress, she'll want an old fashioned dress and you'll try to convince her that it's not a la mode so you guys argue for a little while then do whatever and then the next day, you argue again over how she likes something that totally disinterests you. it happens with me and my mom although most of the time we get along good. my dad doesn't argue that much. probably because i don't hang out with him as much as i do my mom).

so don't fret. It's totally normal. you don't hate them, you just don't agree with their ways of thinking e.t.c.

You'll see that once you move out of their house or get married, they'll be the one coming after you and begging you to visit them. You'll realize how much you love your parents during this time too.

just be nice to them and be honest with them. prep talk at least once a month to share stuff/feelings e.t.c. it'll probably strenghten your relationship a little bit. use that time to tell them things they never knew about you and make them tell you things you never knew about them. it'll probably help you understand each other better.



disclaimer: this ^ may or may not apply to people with Nigerian parents. .

If parents were[b] trained before being allowed to breed[/b] it would not be "normal" for the house to be on fire when the children are old enough to think for themselves. If I cannot have a home full of bliss then I will rather remain single and die of old age instead of getting married and having children and dying of a heart attack due to constant domestic conflict.

Nobody on this thread has said that they want to kill their parents, so I really don't understand what gbenga and nike4luv are talking about. the fact that my parents love me doesn't stop them from punishing me, abi, so what is wrong about me punishing them later on out of that same overflowing love?

- For having no respect for my time, often making me wait for several hours and days just to do me a small favor instead of helping me quickly so that I can go back to my PC and continue my work, I am going to have a habit of delaying help as much as possible. When I am asked, "please do this for me" I'll say, "of course, I will help! Just wait for me, sit down there and I want to quickly spend an indeterminate number of hours chatting with my friends and browsing the Internet. Sometime in the not-too-distant future I will help you, so just wait indefinitely, because your time is not important, yay!"

That is an option, a very plausible one.

timmy you have heard a few contributions, chose that which you want to...................this is a generation of vipers, one that are disobedient to parents, parents are not infallible and God knows that but there is a reason why we are adjured to honor them please understand they are also accountable for how they treat us too but we are not the arbitar here, hating your parents and delaying to obey or help them, willingly, is not just at variance with the will of God but a sign that our time is almost up, what some term "end of days"

_{*but of course, you cannot preach God or his will to a generation of vipers*}

Thot for one minute that i was the only one in this boat and something must have gone seriously wrong with me!

My parents and i are on 2 opposite sides of the coin and have been since i think i was 6 yrs old. Imagine the last time i saw my father face-face 9 months ago was a full blown argument, but for God and my conscience, i nearly made up my mind never to speak to him again! home? one place i'm MOST reluctant to place a call or send an email to. i don't just get along with them and i have resigned myself to that sad fact.

now the reverse, i'm wondering why things got to that level and i discover some things:

1. The typical african parent is insensitive to the needs and feelings of their children.
2. Hardly will a nigerian father (mine as an example) "waste time" bothering to have a conversation with his kids, my father never said "i love you" to any of his kids, never took us out, never talked to us except when it was to bark orders at us.
3. Nigerian parents think the only way to raise a child is to raise them in an atmosphere of fear. sorry it only breeds kids who "fear" but never respect their parents.
4. Spare the rod and spoil the child? Misuse the rod and lose the child!
5. Communication is the key! ever wondered why your parents spend hrs talking (more like yelling) to you and when you so much as raise your voice they just shout you down!
6. My father is worried i don't call home as often as he wants, i'm wondering why he expects me to start talking to him now when we both spent 23 yrs together virtually incommunicado.

7 Final submission, most fathers are physically present in their children's lives but emotionally absent. Sadly it is the emotional presence that matters most and is what the kid would grow up to remember! i look back and with regret find it hard to recall any moment of genuine togetherness in my family!

Last call, when YOU grow up, get married and have kids, would you right the wrongs and treat your child the way you would have wanted them to treat you or would you just go the way of your father?

the best for children to punish their parents or make them appreciate you more is to move very far away from home (when your old enough of course). or put them in nursing home when they're reallly old.
and the best way for a parent to punish a son, daughter who's gone away to be independent is to die.

the best way to avoid horribe punishments as these is for parents/children to learn to understand each other which sometimes isn't be possible without both being punished for change. This is a catch-22 i know.

wow looks like its a mutiny against parents, No one even remembers poor Timmy 
As far as i'm concerned if your parents provided you with food, shelter and education

Be thankful and stop whinging..  

Yes, I appreciate my parents for food, shelter and education and that is why I love them very much!

aaahgh, Love; i am happy to hear that word and i would love to see it preached more often, love covers a multitude of sins. I have not said parents wont offend, i have merely said we are to honor them come what may.

when i have my child, i will right whatever wrong i may think my parents have committed while raising me but lets be careful lest our definition of our parents wrong and insensitivity is an ambigous one based on teenage crisis.

Love, what can't you do? please move us to honor our parents, come what may.

LOL @ seun...tht is just so funny, Loving someone's parents is not limited to only that though......

I can totally relate to you saying you hate your parents! Trust me, you do not hat them, you are just frustrated! For instance, last month my father annoyed me to the point that i deleted his phone numbers from my phone and totally ignored his phone calls because i "hated" him. I have however realized that the only reason his actions upset me so much is because i love him and that made me rethink my decision of isolating myself from him! Long story short, give it time...........and listen to all these wonderful pieces of advise you are getting! I hope everything woorks out for you.

Timmy,
Whether U believe it or not, you are a man now. At 17-18yrs. I would have wished my parent away. My dad passed on last year and I still shed tears for him last night... Mostly because there were still soooo much we had to do together! We kindda started off late on our own Father-Son relationship and the truth is I MISS HIM DEARLY.

You don't have to love your parent... Really you don't have to. But U owe yourslef something, understanding why and how things got this BAD! Otherwise, Timmy Junior will tread this path a few years from now.... My journey to discovery and gradual recovery started with the book THE POWER OF PEACE!

I am not Married... I don't believe I am WHOLE ENOUGH YET!! I KNOW the immediate and remote causes of the friction in my household (My dad was polygamous - a way of life he strongly opposed in his later years) but some damage had been done. I WILL GET THERE!!!

Normally, your sending this link to as a personnal message to me is NOT ACCEPTABLE but I recognise a CRY FOR HELP. DON'T DO IT... WHAT EVER CRAZY IDEAS YOU'VE HAD LATELY, IT'S NOT WORTH IT.... YOU HAVE YOUR WHOLE LIFE AHEAD OF YOU... FOCUS ON BEING CAPABLE OF INDEPENDENT EXISTENCE... Focus on what U need to do to MOVE OUT OF YOUR PARENT'S HOUSE. There's nothing to be ashamed of. I know how damaging such family hold can be to a young man's confidence. But do your best anyways....

REMEMBER THAT WHAT HAPPENS TO US DON'T COUNT... IT IS HOW WE TAKE IT OR HOW WE REACT TO THE INCIDENT THAT REALLY MATTERS....
CHEERS MAN... AND GOOD LUCK!!!

Timmy,

Like most pals are saying, hate is a strong word to use especially on your parents. What I would advice you is to take heart and try to figure out what is coming between you and your parents. Try to do what they want you to do after all you will not stay with them forever. You will move out and stay on your own and I know defintely they will miss you. Avoid their company by keeping yourself busy. Try also to love them as much as possible.

Timmy, I wish I had both parents like you are. My father died when I was 5 yearsand I don't know fatherly love is.

I wish you all the best.

Good day

@timmy: It will pass, don't worry about it. But you should realise that to your parents, you will forever be their baby...Even when you are 65...In the same way that you will always see your children as your babies even when they are 65. And no, you don't hate them. You just don't see things the way they do and they do not see things the way you do. That is just not possible. Strange thing is, when you get older, your views on some issues will converge.

You should give some serious thought to moving out though...especially as you seem to be doing well, financially. There can't be two captains in a ship and at a certain age, you need your own time and space. For peace to reign.

[center][center]Well Timmy i too wonder y i got this as a private msg but all the same am not
to hear u say that coz at a stage in life we feel like that 2 our parents. But i know wat ever they do, they do it 4 the better of us

I 2 wonder wat kind of prob that is, coz u know they deffer,

Timmy, we cant stay without our parents kind words or blessings so pliz sit down en' make up.[/center][/center]

u dont have to hate ur parents timmy, no matter wat, they have been kind enuf to bring u to this world, and always remember wateber they do, its to give u a better life wen u grow up. the truth is that everyone at some point in one's life always have this feelings that our parents are calous and wicked, wait until u become a parent too, wat turns around goes around.
u also need to get to the root of all these problems, if u parents are harsh on u, they probably have seen some tendencies of misbehavoiur they want to correct, dont have the impression that they dont love u, if u do weneva they correct u, u see it as that they hate u which is not the case.
walk up to me one early morning and show so much remorse and beg for thier forgiveness for hurting them and u ll see them change.
best of luck.

Timmy,

I had the same problems with my dad and later on, my mum.

At first I was offended because it was as if my dad picked on me whenever i had problems with my younger brother.

It even became worse when i gave myheart to Christ. Then i was a lot more compassionate because i understood that the reason for the trouble my dad gave me had changed.

He did not understand why i should start attending a different church, even when he noticed that my life had changed. I stopped drinking dopping and smoking, because i ws addicted to these. I was no longer getting into trouble for going to parties and sleeping out at night but i got into trouble for going to church and coming back at 9pm.

My only comfort then was the Holy spirit. I would pray in the Spirit and interceed for my family in tears. My dad stopped giving me money to go to school( then i was in the university). Most supprising to him was that i always remained on top of the situation, i always knew i was in charge of the situation and never suffered. God provided help from unexpected places.

Even my mum whom i thought would be sympathetic did not turn out to be as i thought. She made it seem as though i had offended God for being born again and leaving the catholic faith i was born into.

Well, all that is changed now. God moved upon my situation and turned it around. My dad later began to look up to me to know what to do in certain situations. He brought my brother who had a serious crisis as a result of marijuana addiction( we were smoking together before) to me to take to church.

He asked that i conduct morning devotions at home. In family meetings my words arre not taken lightly and i am always asked to lead that prayer.

Only God can make such things happen. Now i am best friends with my mum and dad. I look back and i am grateful to God and my parents for all i went through.


So learn to make the best of whatever situaion you find yourself. Rejoice in tribulations and with time, you will be glad for them.

Honour your parents and you wil live long on earth.

[size=28pt]A BIG THANK YOU ALL!!

FROM TIMMY[/size]

Youre welcomed timmy. I wish you luck and hope you sort things out with your pips. You dont want to be without parents, Believe me. Those who have lost thiers can tell you that.

Welcome Timmy and thanx I hope you will take our words. Life is short and should be happy. Am still here for you in case of anything.

Thanx again