Timmy parents are parents, it's like they where created to make our lifes hell, but boy that ain't no way to talk about yo mama.
She may nag and piss u off a couple of times, but hey at the end the person who truly stands up for u is yo mama.
And don't u even think about beating up your daddy, he deserves some gratitude for buying u that yellow shirt u're wearing.

Okay on a more serious note.

You should examine yourself and see if u're being a good child to them, maybe c if u're not the one causing the problem. If not have a talk with your folks let them know how they make u feel and find out what's their problem. Let them know that you're trying to improve your relationship with them.

If they don't wanna listen or nothing changes, pack your bags and go find yourself a place to stay, or else u might do something u regret and we don't want that to happen now do we?

PS, I realy meant the part in bold*****

Mmmmmmmmmmm...........@seun, u seem to want to assume a perfect personality and u dint get something right, thats the fact that you are not perfect. But u thiink u r. did u get it!

@Timmy

Does that Thank you apply to me too? I still say you should pack your load and get your own place and you can relate with them from a better standing. It is sad that all these people here are giving you "Sissy" advice on how to relate with your parents, when they are not living with you. I say strap ur boots and bounce!!!!

Nice of you timmy. I hope you remember the unianimous stand - Get ur butt out of the house.

Been down for a week with the flu, return to check on nairaland and find Timmy’s story in my private mail. Clicked on the link and see that it is already 4 pages long. Being a busy person whenever I am behind on a subject that is that long, I usually don’t have the time to read the previous 4 pages of Post so I usually just leave the subject alone so that my response is not useless if someone had already given the advice earlier.

I read this because just a week ago a friend of mine was thrown out of his 40 story apartment building by his son from a multi-million dollar Midtown Manhattan apartment; the man was a respected surgeon and an older friend. I just wondered if his son reached out to the world like Jimmy is doing. Which is not to suggest that jimmy is planning anything so extreme.

welll this is a little personal but i choose to share it,
i always have issues with both my parents and i don't like the feeling i get from it, sometimes i feel like beating my dad or just wishing he were out of my life, as for my mum she nags like hell gosh!!!, she pissing me off.

i was wondering if i was the problem, but some of my pals have similar parental issues too some are even worse than mine, so i was wondering if there are any other members who don't seem to find the right click between them and their parents

I read all four pages of the post to see if Jimmy gave any additional reasons and they included

im an enterprenurer, i pay 120,000 for my office evry year, i pay 32,000 to my three staff, i pay fee (recharge card and the like), fuel , i have two girlfriends, and im a fucking webdesigner, au on earth would i afford a comfotable home, when i have a whole room to my self and i don't need to pay extras, ofcourse i wouldt stay forever, but the exact time hasnt come yet. trust me i know what im saying,

is there an exact age you have to get out.? well im the strongest (more like the only grown up kid in the house) i do all the man stuff, shout at trespassers, help with the ironing of cloths, fixing light when nepa messes up, get to drive the whole family round all day,
but since i started working it all stop, i started duin my own things all alone, leave early, get home late, pay my bills, and more

they didnt even support me when i was going solo, old man didnt believe i could do it, but shame to him now,,, i getting the onions right

thank you all, i guess i know alot more than i have even recieved, but i just don't get what exactly it is that i do, dey keep refering to events i did in the 90's , don't dey know now that im grown!! gee's

and the truth is they don't even want me to live their house.

So information gathered

Timmy is not a teenager going through teenage blues; he has one job, two girlfriends, three employees and limitless opportunities. He does not tell us what he did in the 90’s but tells us that it could be influencing what his parents think of him. He’s done all the right things to be called a man but he lives at home with his parents single and still very much a kid.

Solution: Timmy needs to

1. Recognize parents are never chosen, they are not like the most fashionable shoes or bag that you change when it’s convenient.
2. Will change status from boy to man, not when he makes enough money to act like a big boy but when he moves out of his parent’s home, gets his own and makes his own rules.
3. Accepts whatever happened in the 90’s are his fault, apologizes to his parents for it and everyone moves on. But not while living at home.

The nature of the relationship with your parents will never change even when you move on, have your own kids and act like parents. Hating your parents is not an option once you realize that no matter what your parents are, you did not buy them and you owe your existence whatever that may be to them, creating and nurturing you. We are not like fish that lay eggs and leave them to nature.

Pendelite

Well said Bro. How come"Kokscity" always comes of sounding rude and harsh. I wish i could be as eloquent and detailed as Pendelite.Pendelite you broke it down for the guy and he should take those pointers and run with it.

Kokscity would have said something like,"look here Timmy, you need to get a life without your parents" You are 26 for God's sake.

The New Kokscity will say: Timmy stop whining and pick up the classifieds and look for a place to rent or squat/share.

Moral of the story is that" Kokscity is no Pendelite".

LOL... Kokscity, you're a trip!

@pendelite , tanks alot for this cool mature analysis, i guess ive made up my mind at this junction, im happy with evry ones coments expect for silly kok, who just nagged at me on and on like my mother....

i actually get freaked out when people nag at me, i almost slapped a client of mine who was just naggind on and on and on.... and i was turning red and just alittle more second ill have punched her face and thats because she reminded me of home (mum) and her ways... its really gotten to my psychologicaly and i get tensed up an the slightes nagg, i like corrections but not saying the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again
can you imagine

i just got my self vexed for repeting the same words, thats the way it works on me


@KOK youre really getting at me and the "only" reason im holding back is because i own the thread and im kinda serious here, else i dont go this good.. trust me

Dude... that's NEVER a good sign... you almost slapped your CLIENT? and a FEMALE client?? Dude... calm down man... really.

she was freaking nagging, over what, and like i said it get to me psycholy wen someone nagges at me.. , im getting over it now.. and dats cos i keep to my self and try to talk less. cos i starma when vexed and since i can talk freely i tend to react arshly

we are nigerians right, i mean come on, ur matured, u know how nigerian parents are now..how they wigg at everything no matter how small, so why complain and say they do ur head in, i know sometimes u feel like screaming but what matters is they are still bent on the fact that they love u

@ seun, tenant? hello, ur deir son, its a curse u thinking of punishing them, i know what u going through but trust me one day, u'l understand, there are people with worse situation and its kinda worth it at the end, this is a phase we all have to go through, dont tell me ur parents didnt go through it, trust me! ask them okay?

u saying ur parents do ur head in, remember what de bible says, its a curse even thinking about the fact that 'oh i hate him' i couldnt take it anymore blah blah, dont moan or anything, who cares? they love u! so ...

im an enterprenurer, i pay 120,000 for my office evry year, i pay 32,000 to my three staff, i pay fee (recharge card and the like), fuel , i have two girlfriends.. and im a fucking webdesigner... au on earth would i afford a comfotable home, when i have a whole room to my self and i don't need to pay extras, ofcourse i wouldt stay forever, but the exact time hasnt come yet. trust me i know what im saying..

Dear Timmi
    you will have to humble your self and exercise more patience till you are able to afford a confortable home for your self. In some cultures in Nigeria ,as long as you are still living with your parents  you are still under their control.
 
Timmi I will always remember you in prayers but note you don't have to hate your parent for any reason. take care.

why do u hate your parents ,the carry ur trouble when u where a kid and now u said u hate them
l love my mom and daddy

sorry, funty your name sounds like it's familiar.

u the last born of 5 girls?

Just re-read my post and see that this codeine stuff is crazy. well I still can't understand what I wrote but I'm glad Timmy found it useful. Still on it though so will keep this one short and sweet. To every1 out there, Koks may not have the same view or presentation, but he has his. Until we recognize that if we ask 10 people a question, were likely to get what sounds like 10 different opinions we are always going to be happy with some and mad at others. Also remember that most times we dont tell people everything, only that we wish to share so they are making suggestions based on limited knowledge.The point is to listen for the essence of the responses, then the essence of the messenger, then remember that it's their views. Next ask with everything I've heard what's best for me and you will find that even your worst enemy will have something useful to tell you.

@pendelite , tanks so much for youe cool and calm words, they have giving me a great sign and to all other who said pretty cool stuffs too, tanks y'all. I LOVE YOU ALL!!

Well i had a discussion with my mum and it really went well, my dad , well he's travelled now, probabaly when he come, but my mum and i got along so well over the week end, she even allowed me drive her to church ( ) she hasnt done that in 6 yrs,, i was freakking happy, isent her an sms today and she reply with "I love you son, no matter what!!" now she's making me cry

I LOVE YOU TOO MUMMY

glamour:


Timmi I will always remember you in prayers but note you don't have to hate your parent for any reason.

Guess ypur prayers worked, tanks

timmy, i hope all the posts have made you realise that you are not alone, so many people face exactly what you are facing, its always our repsonse to situations that make or mar us. you have done the right thing by talking to your mum and i pray that you will be able to at least get a favourable response from your dad too. people who have lost loved ones are better able to appreciate the moments we have together in this life, don't wait until then before realsing that there was so much you could have said to each other.

Good luck Timmy and this of the rest of us.

Nikinash, this has to do with precious moments. I had 2 friends that were very dear to me. One was like my mother's cousin son and the other was my mother's sister's husbands brother; see how convoluted. We were very close and grew apart because of distance. The first one was in the states and the other in Nigeria.

The first one went back to Nigeria and I remained in the states. I visited a couple of times and we had lots of fun. Then for about ten years we all got caught up in life's daily grind and lost all contact. I thought of them often and knew that we would hook up soon, but we were all young and had plenty of time.

Guess what? They are both dead now and we never got the opportunity to meet again, both went into politics and the rest is history, funny stories are being told about what happened to them before the elections they were expected to win.

Moral of the history, now not later is when you want to accomplish your tasks, I used to be a great procrastinator, no more, I devour opportunities. Make up with friends, relatives and even enemies. Spend quality time with your parents, children and family. You just never know, you can walk out of the door and walk into a moving truck, God Forbid,

Pendelite,
You give great advice. You should have taken over for Dear Abby with a Dear Pendelite column.

Wow, Timmy, your case is actually more serious than mine. I have complexes too, but mine is that I don't trust people easily, and I am not interested in being told what to do by anyone. I am also not interested in nags, although I have no problem with dealing with people who nag me - I just tell them to shut up, and then I scream at them until they realise that I am worse than them and they run away.

Have you put your thought and pains to prayers

When I was young, I did not give a darm about my folks but now that I am what I am, they mean the world to me. I believe if u open ur eyes to see the real picture, you will understand where they are coming from.

Most Mum nags, it is normal for mums and women to nag so you have to live with it.

This is my suggestion.

Try expresing urself to your folks. Let them know how u feel about their attitude and ways. It is very important to talk and if you do, alot of stuff will be brought to the open and I asure you bro, you will definately feel better.

If that one nor work, try disowning them!!

Seun when I look at the picture in your profile. I can tell the kind of person that you are
You were brought up as a deprived child, now you are making it on our own and you are getting a bit of attitude. You will soon realise that the best things always come to nice people at which point you will realise the historical truth. Be nice to people on the way up becuase they are the one's you meet on the way down. I wish you forever rising stars but as night follows day so does life come with its ups and downs, Words of Love Seun

Ok deey breath!

Hello Timmy when i first read your post i thought awww, its some young kid going through same things we all had to go through with our mummies and daddies . Then like i always do before replying to any post i checked your profile and found out you are in fact 26yrs old
Now Timmy dont take this the wrong way but most of the people advicing your are really very young and one wud expect ppl of that age to hate their parents , but its a phase and we get over it. But Timmy i am sorry but your responses and the way you come across says immature. and i feel you should probably change your attitude towards your folks and then they will begin to respect you. 26? pls do some growing fast. Most ppl have and are goin through worse .

I had to grow up at 18yrs. I know in Nigeria it is the norm to have children stay in their parent's homes till they are financially able and that is just because as we all know the system lets down young people, however dont take for granted the fact your parents put u up. I know some people having it worse off as we speak and dont have the luxury of a computer to rant about how they hate their parent so much to anyone who would listen. I guess what i am saying Timmy is change your attitide, appreciate the little they have done for you cause i refuse to believe they are all bad , restore some faith with your folks and you will see the difference.

there r dayz when i think gosh i wish my peeps r different and i have dayz when i don't wanna trade them 4 all d dollarz in d world. i think we all have these moments.
i don't really think you have a problem. some parents r more controlling dan others but i'm sure there r moments when you think they r the best parents anybody could ever want. thats why they r parents. to nag you, tell you what to do cuz face it they know more dan you will ever know cuz they've been here 4 a long time and have more experience.
what i will advice is try not to see what they do as trying to control you but just loving parents trying to make sure there son don't make d same mistakes they made.

I guess you missed the "fun/irony" of my comment? It's your board so I won't argue with you. But before you use the "a". word, remember not to believe everything you read, look before you leap. How can I possibly to understand the complexities of any human being from a picture? but I certainly can understand them from the words they write.

What part of what I wrote don't you agree with?

Your African Customer Service
--> Seun

That I run a forum doesn't mean I have to be nice to every asshole that logs on.

so seun you really do feel i should get my as$ out?

Wow mr. Admin, You are really the owner of this forum!