Usually, the plan is not to fall in love....or in lust. You just need someone who'd be there for you and listen. Someone to talk to. But then, the heart recognizes and clings to the attention because we love to be loved, we desire to be cared for, to be told and show that we mean enough to be paid attention to....and that is the point we fall in love...or in lust.

From this point, recovering becomes difficult because we slip into denial at first thinking "no I am not falling" then gradually, we agree and create defences like "you cannot understand" until we get to the point "I don't care, this makes me happy."

That's the point we really stop caring about the things that truly matter; our marriage, the person's marriage, our homes and families.

Occasionally, conscience would come at us strong and we'd try to disconnect but conscience would no longer be strong enough. The sweetness of the sex (where it has gone that far), the depth of the emotional connection and the general satisfaction that comes with this connection would prove too strong for conscience so conscience would fade away.

With nobody to tell because it seems nobody would understand, coupled with knowing deep down what's being/been done is bad, coupled with the fear of the unknown and the dreading of the loneliness that got you here in the first place, you'd run more towards that which you should go away from.

You'd wish for your other to be there at this point and maybe pull you out with what you desire.....care and attention which may not cost a thing but it wouldn't happen and that would make you angrier, pushing you away and sealing the justification in your care intoxicated mind.

Unfortunately, the only person who'd seem to get it would be the person you need to get away from.

Yes, it is difficult but it is very doable.


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