Baby thanks,it was good


Dammizz,thanks will change it
Dnt jealous us oh

Lol @ Dammiz

Papi i already know how ur nyts goes, since u're sticked wiv that fat Bimbola one can always xpect an all nyt Wwe Cruizerweight bout. . .i should be askn u 'Dam who got knocked out lastnyt?'

Hmmm, well Bimb did it again *np #Kirk franklin-My life is in Your hand*

Aww! Eyah
Dnt worry,al help u find wan sexy opeke of ur own size soon

Huh! Baby u know that aint a welcomed suggestion, what Dam needs ryt now Is a formidable formation to beat his wife. . .Dam maybe we give 4-4-2 a shot, attack virtually frm the wing n make sure uv got a Vidic at defence to avoid owngoals

Mike and Maureen landed on Mars. They met a Martian couple and were talking about all sorts of things. Finally Maureen brought up the subject of sex. "Just how do you guys do it?" asked Maureen.

The male Martian responded, "Pretty much the way you do."

A discussion ensued and finally the couples decided to swap partners for the night. Maureen and the male Martian went off to a bedroom where the Martian stripped. Maureen was disappointed to find that he had a very small member no more than half-an-inch long and just a quarter-inch thick. "I don't think this is going to work," said Maureen.

"Why?" he asked. "What's the matter?"

"Well," she replied, "it's just not long enough to reach me!"

"No problem," he said and proceeded to slap his forehead with his palm. With each slap, his member grew until it was impressively long.

"Well," she said. "That's quite impressive, but it's still pretty narrow."

"No problem," he said and started pulling his ears. With each pull his member grew wider and wider.

"Wow!" she exclaimed. They fell into bed and made mad passionate love.

The next day the couples joined their normal partners. As they walked along Mike asked, "Well, was it any good?"

"I hate to say it," said Maureen, "but it was pretty wonderful. How about you?"

"It was horrible," he replied. "All I got was a headache. She kept slapping my forehead and pulling my ears!"





love dis next one

Viagra Wife Diary


Day 1

Just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with not much to celebrate. When it came time to reenact our wedding night, he locked himself in the bathroom and cried.

Day 2

Today, he says he has a big secret to tell me. He's impotent, he says, and he wants me to be the first to know. Why doesn't he tell me something I don't know! I mean, he actually thinks I haven't noticed.

Day 3

This marriage is in trouble. A woman has needs. Yesterday, I saw a picture of Nelson's Column and burst into tears.

Day 4

A miracle has happened! There's a new drug on the market that will fix his 'problem'. It's called Viagra. I told him that if he takes Viagra, things will be just like they were on our wedding night. I think this will work. I replaced his Prozac with the Viagra, hoping to lift something other than his mood.

Day 5

What absolute bliss!!

Day 6

Isn't life wonderful but it's difficult to write while he's doing that.

Day 7

This Viagra thing has gone to his head. No pun intended! Yesterday, at Burger King, the manager asked me if I'd like a Whopper. He thought they were talking about him. But, have to admit it's very nice - I don't think I've ever been so happy.

Day 8

I think he took too many over the weekend. Yesterday, instead of mowing the lawn, he was using his new friend as a weed wacker. I'm also getting a bit sore down there.

Day 9

No time to write. He might catch me.

Day 10

Okay, I admit it. I'm hiding. I mean, a girl can only take so much. And to make matters worse, he's washing the Viagra down with neat whisky! What am I going to do? I feel tacky all over,

Day 11

I'm basically being screwed to death. It's like living with a Black and Decker drill. I woke up this morning hot-glued to the bed. Even my armpits hurt. He's a complete pig.

Day 12

I wish he was gay. I've stopped wearing make-up, cleaning my teeth or even washing but he still keeps coming after me! Even yawning has become dangerous,

Day 13

Every time I shut my eyes, there's a sneak attack! It's like going to bed with a scud missile. I can hardly walk and if he tries that "Oops, sorry" thing again, I'll kill the [#@!$].

Day 14

I've done everything to turn him off. Nothing is working. I even started dressing like a nun but this just seems to make him more Hot. Help me!

Day 15

I think I'll have to kill him. I'm starting to stick to everything I sit on. The cat and dog won't go near him and our friends don't come over any more. Last night I told him to go and screw himself and he did.

Day 16

The [#@!$] has started to complain about headaches. I hope the bloody thing explodes. I did suggest he might try stopping the Viagra and going back on Prozac.

Day 17

Switched the pills but it doesn't seem to have made any difference, Christ! Here he comes again!

Day 18

He's back on Prozac. The lazy sod just sits there in front of the TV all day with that remote control in his hand and expects me to do everything for him. What absolute bliss!

Always making me proud sha

Kunbee:

Always making me proud sha

i try my best

El Guapo:

yinkalink:

Me sef dey wonder wetin do am

Kunbee:

Me sef dey wonder wetin do am

Lol

dis ya thread never die

Lol

Olaf and Sven were fishing one day when Sven pulled out a cigar. Finding he had no matches, he asked Olaf for a light.

"Yaaa, shure, I tink I haff a lighter," he replied. Then reaching into his tackle box, he pulled out a BIC lighter 10 inches long.

"Yiminy Cricket!" exclaimed Sven, taking the huge BIC lighter in his hands.

"Vhere did yew git dat monster?"

"Vell," replied Olaf, "I got it from me Genie."

"You haff a Genie in yor tackle box?" Sven asked.

"Yaaa, shure. It's right here in my tackle box," says Olaf.

"Could I see him?"

So, Olaf opens his tackle box and sure enough, out pops the genie. Addressing the genie, Sven says, "Hey dere! I'm a good friend of your master. Vill you grant me vun vish?"

"Yes, I will," says the Genie.

So Sven asks the Genie for a million bucks.

The Genie disappears back into the tackle box leaving Sven sitting there, waiting for his million bucks.

Shortly, the sky darkens and is filled with the sound of a million ducks, flying overhead. Over the roar of the million ducks, Sven yells at Olaf, "Yumpin' Yimmny, I asked for a million BUCKS, not a million DUCKS!"

Olaf answers, "Yaaa, I forgot to tell yew, da Genie is hard of hearing. Do yew really tink I asked for a 10 inch BIC?!

ROTFLMAO
Nice One my Angel

El Guapo:

ROTFLMAO
Nice One my Angel

thanks love

Two rednecks decided they weren't going anywhere in life, and thought they should go to college to get ahead.

The first redneck went in to see the counselor, who told him to take Math, History, and Logic.

"What's Logic?" the first redneck asked. The professor answered by saying, "Let me give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?" "I sure do." said the first redneck.

"Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard," replied the professor.

"That's real good!" said the redneck.

The professor continued, "Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also own a house."

Impressed, the redneck said, "Amazin!"

"And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife," continued the professor.

"That's Betty Mae! This is incredible!" The redneck is obviously catching on.

"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual," said the professor.

"You're absolutely right!" exclaimed the redneck. "Why that's the most fascinatin' thing I ever heard! I cain't wait to take that logic class!!"

The redneck, proud of the new world opening up to him, walked back into the hallway, where his friend was still waiting.

"So what classes are ya takin'?" asked the friend.

"Math, History, and Logic!" replied the first redneck.

"What in tarnation is logic" asked his friend.

"Let me give you an example. Do ya own a weed eater?" asked the first redneck.

"No," his friend replied.

"You're QUEER, ain't ya?"

Thehehehe

Honey abeg no murder me wiv Laff

Lol
Will soon retire dis thread sef

k
i wont cos of u

**Grabs ma Pumpkin and goes turning round wiv her, then remembers she's pregnant**

Oops! My bad hun. .my bad, i certainly dnt have to get such ova excited, i shouldnt disturb ma young warlocks, its summer n probably they ll be at the beach now

Pls come Over my Darling


=> https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-689797.0.html

A Nigerian lad came home
from school and told his
mother he had been given
a part in the school play.
'Wonderful, 'replies his
mother, 'what part is it?'
The boy says, 'I play the
part of the Igbo
husband.'
The mother scowls and
says, 'Go back and tell
your teacher you want a
speaking part.'

Nice jokes dear

Nice jokes dere

Where Yinka sef?

Lol