pansophist:


True, your observation is astute. Men and women are guilty of it. Lots of men hustle so hard while completely disregarding their looks. They made the money and have a good social status, but their appearance, vigor and strength doesn't turn women on, making their women settle for them as providers only.

For women, it's the opposite. Many focus so much on their external, while leaving their internal to rot. You must have come across those bimbos that are so finee, but immediately they open their mouth, they just become instantly ugly. Balance is the key.

pansophist:

This small girl sha. Oya listen

Some people fine others, and some are uglier than others. Same with height, speed, sense, sexiness, and sagaciousness. Existentially, we are equal, but in reality we are not. Any other questions?

pansophist:


Actually there is nothing wrong going for looks, but going for looks only is wrong. Beauty is life, and what makes it worth living. Wetin de pain me pass na those people wey go talk say looks doesn't matter, but they never go for ugly people

Well for me, you must get sense, but again, don't be ugly. You don't have to be that fine, but at least a good makeup should be able to do justice to your looks. If after all the make up and you're still not fine, then well, there is a place called the friend zone. We can just be friends

Please try not to deceive yourself people. Looks are important. It's easier to forgive a sexy partner than a ugly one. Even if he/she annoys you, you'll be looking at their cute face and imagining how you'll end the pain in the bedroom, meanwhile if it's the other one, ending the damn relationship will be what's on your mind.

Humans are shallow, and Naija is hard enough, so don't make it harder on yourself by latching unto a ugly partner. And if you're fine, people will treat you better, and respect you. And to be with someone moderately good looking is playing to win. You think it's a coincidence banks always display fine girls and boys in their customer care area? Or most models are fine? We are not equal okay? Humans are inequal. Deal with it.

And see, it's not hard to be fine. Eat healthy and exercise. So basic, yet so difficult for most people to do. Anyways I don talk my own. In a nutshell, its not shallow to want a good looking partner, but shallow if that's the only quality one wants from their partner.

phazotron:
Nigerian girls prefer looks to intelligence

Sad reality

Sonnobax15:

Personally,I prefer intelligence to looks..... Intelligence coupled with good characters, that's something I'll forever cherish.... Looks will definitely fade away someday but her intelligence and character are two things that won't..

Magnoliaa:


What is "existentially we're equal but in reality, we're not?" Ki ni iyato existence ati reality? It's just a question.

newdawn2017:
U urself as a person do u ve good character ? Yes mand looks fades away with age & there changing circumstances of life, but its his good character that will keep people around u. Re u intelligent also emotionally.

Kondomatic:
This is generally an average Nigerian problem. Guys prefer hot body to hot brain

placeofallure:


You are correct 100%
I fancy great looks in people. I love to look good. I want anybody around me to look good. I keep prodding my husband day in day out on Yes and No things to wear. I can overlook that shortcoming at times.

Do you know what I can't forgive? When you are dull upstairs! Oh my! Even as a lady, it's unforgivable. I pride myself, I can hold my own in any conversation. Why would somebody choose mediocrity over substance? Men are mostly culpable. Mi o r'ara gba nonsense, God knows.

Iyaebe:
You are so right but guys keep deceiving themselves.Remember the nasty Nairalander Zzor and her attitude here but you can't even imagine the numbers of nairalanders in her DM because of her looks and natural perfect body but they will condemn her and do the opposite in her DM.Most guys ain't true to themselves.

pansophist:


If one is not dull upstairs, then it presupposes that one should prioritize being fit. There is no single downside to being fit. You will be fine, not sluggish, affects your confidence, even okrika will fit you more than a fat ass with gucci, and people will take you more seriously. I see lots of couples taking pre/post wedding pics, and I said to myself, a good personal trainer and at least three months will make you so fine, that if you look at yourself back, you will be proud of how you look. And you will be fine on random pictures you are not prepared for.

A school of thought I am still demystifying is the notion that ''you can not feel confident when you know that you are romantically invincible''. The idea that you are able to get into relationships anytime you want, with a relatively complementary partner, is healthy to the human brain and makes life joyful to live. Going through the world being romantically invincible as a result of one appearance is a recipe for depression, bitterness and self-defeat. For humans to be psychologically healthy, they must feel attractive.

It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable - Socrates.

pansophist:


Hypocrisy is the fundamental building brick that characterizes humans. To be hypocritical is to be human, to be human is to be hypocritical. I do not have a problem with humans being hypocrites, I only have a problem with their lack of self-awareness to recognize their hypocrisy. I remember when a single mid 30's lady asked me what is important for men when looking for a woman to marry, and I told her that it is what a woman has inside, her virtues, that are important to men. That a man wants a good woman, peace, submission (not confused with obedience), and how she can be a good helper.

She was soooo happy. But I lied by omission, also known as a white lie, I didn't tell her that men also want a good-looking wife also. I mean, I don't want to shatter someone's heart. I will rather do some white lie than make a woman feel hopeless about meeting her prince charming. I recognize my hypocrisy, but even she doesn't recognize hers because she was showing me guys on her WhatsApp that were interested in her, but she doesn't want them because they are not fine enough, and rich enough. She could not forgive her toasters for the same thing she is guilty of, the same thing her toasters already forgave her for. Do you see the hypocrisy?

placeofallure:


You are correct 100%
I fancy great looks in people. I love to look good. I want anybody around me to look good. I keep prodding my husband day in day out on Yes and No things to wear. I can overlook that shortcoming at times.

Do you know what I can't forgive? When you are dull upstairs! Oh my! Even as a lady, it's unforgivable. I pride myself, I can hold my own in any conversation. Why would somebody choose mediocrity over substance? Men are mostly culpable. Mi o r'ara gba nonsense, God knows.

Iyaebe:
You are so right but guys keep deceiving themselves.Remember the nasty Nairalander Zzor and her attitude here but you can't even imagine the numbers of nairalanders in her DM because of her looks and natural perfect body but they will condemn her and do the opposite in her DM.Most guys ain't true to themselves.

sirjamesjnr:
. Please don't put us in one basket. Any man who takes time to develop himself will always look at the content of what he is getting into. That doesn't mean we can have some fun and entertainment with some slay queen. The only problem we have with Some great minds and Brain is their boring and unromantic moment.

Kondomatic:
This is generally an average Nigerian problem. Guys prefer hot body to hot brain

sirjamesjnr:
Great percentage of those guys are only with her for the fun of it. When the chip is down we all know how it will go.

pansophist:


It is not a Nigerian, but a human problem. Human beings, even the ones that scream beauty at any size, always go for good-looking partners if they can. If you google ''plus size models', check out the rich, famous ones (e;g Tess Holiday) and search for their husbands, you will see clearly that even those that have built their career preaching how people should be loved ''for who they are inside'' go for partners are not as fat as them. Even the Nigerian extra-large actress, check out their husbands, I don't wanna call names

If you see a very ugly person with a very ugly partner, if you look well well, you will see that both are too broke to optimize for a beautiful partner. It is not because they don't want, but because they cant. And to avoid time catching up with them, they just grudgingly accept their level and go for what's available. The romance marketplace is cut-throat brutal. Even broke tall men that are fine have it bad, talk more of the not-so-fine, broke, and short ones. When people say they are sapiosexual, they simply mean that they love it when someone they already find attractive happens to be intelligent. Attraction comes before intelligence, not the other way round.

You see, when I look at the romance marketplace and its dynamics, I now understand why after God saw what the humans he created are doing, he regret am instantly, then created a special place called hell, to punish those of us no fork up. Our hypocrisy no be for here.

pansophist:


Hypocrisy is the fundamental building brick that characterizes humans. To be hypocritical is to be human, to be human is to be hypocritical. I do not have a problem with humans being hypocrites, I only have a problem with their lack of self-awareness to recognize their hypocrisy. I remember when a single mid 30's lady asked me what is important for men when looking for a woman to marry, and I told her that it is what a woman has inside, her virtues, that are important to men. That a man wants a good woman, peace, submission (not confused with obedience), and how she can be a good helper.

She was soooo happy. But I lied by omission, also known as a white lie, I didn't tell her that men also want a good-looking wife also. I mean, I don't want to shatter someone's heart. I will rather do some white lie than make a woman feel hopeless about meeting her prince charming. I recognize my hypocrisy, but even she doesn't recognize hers because she was showing me guys on her WhatsApp that were interested in her, but she doesn't want them because they are not fine enough, and rich enough. She could not forgive her toasters for the same thing she is guilty of, the same thing her toasters already forgave her for. Do you see the hypocrisy?

Iyaebe:
You are not so right about this,some wanted her to calm down because they wanted something very serious with her.Men are easily carried away by beauty and endowment and will tolerate a lot of bad habits from a beautiful woman but will not condone such from a not so beautiful woman as pansophist has rightly put it.

sirjamesjnr:
. It depends on the man my dear. let me use myself as a case study.. I have walked out of a lady who has a contract project with MTN simply because she insulted her manager for coming late, looking down on her domestics staff but madly in love with me. I also witness someone I have so much respect for rejecting a political position because the girl that will make that happen, wants marriage though she is beautiful but with a bad character. What am I saying, ending up with a partner you can't reason with is the worst mistake you will spend years correcting. God help you, you didn't end up in marriage.

Iyaebe:
Well you are right, it strictly depends on what a guy wants because some people actually prefer their peace of mind. Anyways some people actually put up some habits here for attention, their personalities may be totally different offline.

placeofallure:


Yes, they could be boring, I agree. Only few ladies can strike a balance between the two. At every slight opportunity I get, I always remind my husband he struck gold when he found me. We're not many.

sirjamesjnr:
I used to believe three things shape a man or a family...Books you read, people you mingle with, and the environment you live but as a grown-ass man, I discovered that who you fall in love with will go a long way to shape what you become. Do you know one of the reasons men to an extend women achieve excellence in their chosen field do so to impress their significant order? One time I have exams I needed to take, I wasn't prepared but I told myself Drfunmi will be disappointed if i throw all that money away then I come home with nothing. I burn the midnight candle. I wasn't doing it for her but then I didn't want her to nag. Being with a loved one who has some level of IQ can help alot. No wonder the Holy book says iron sharpens iron.

pansophist:


Hypocrisy is the fundamental building brick that characterizes humans. To be hypocritical is to be human, to be human is to be hypocritical. I do not have a problem with humans being hypocrites, I only have a problem with their lack of self-awareness to recognize their hypocrisy. I remember when a single mid 30's lady asked me what is important for men when looking for a woman to marry, and I told her that it is what a woman has inside, her virtues, that are important to men. That a man wants a good woman, peace, submission (not confused with obedience), and how she can be a good helper.

She was soooo happy. But I lied by omission, also known as a white lie, I didn't tell her that men also want a good-looking wife also. I mean, I don't want to shatter someone's heart. I will rather do some white lie than make a woman feel hopeless about meeting her prince charming. I recognize my hypocrisy, but even she doesn't recognize hers because she was showing me guys on her WhatsApp that were interested in her, but she doesn't want them because they are not fine enough, and rich enough. She could not forgive her toasters for the same thing she is guilty of, the same thing her toasters already forgave her for. Do you see the hypocrisy?

Iyaebe:
You are right and you will get things rightly done when you are with the right person, they serve as motivation and a push towards being a better version of yourself.

sirjamesjnr:
Thanks for contributing to the thread, kinda breathe of fresh air from bashing one another and some senseless keyboard fight.

pansophist:


It is not a Nigerian, but a human problem. Human beings, even the ones that scream beauty at any size, always go for good-looking partners if they can. If you google ''plus size models', check out the rich, famous ones (e;g Tess Holiday) and search for their husbands, you will see clearly that even those that have built their career preaching how people should be loved ''for who they are inside'' go for partners are not as fat as them. Even the Nigerian extra-large actress, check out their husbands, I don't wanna call names

If you see a very ugly person with a very ugly partner, if you look well well, you will see that both are too broke to optimize for a beautiful partner. It is not because they don't want, but because they cant. And to avoid time catching up with them, they just grudgingly accept their level and go for what's available. The romance marketplace is cut-throat brutal. Even broke tall men that are fine have it bad, talk more of the not-so-fine, broke, and short ones. When people say they are sapiosexual, they simply mean that they love it when someone they already find attractive happens to be intelligent. Attraction comes before intelligence, not the other way round.

You see, when I look at the romance marketplace and its dynamics, I now understand why after God saw what the humans he created are doing, he regret am instantly, then created a special place called hell, to punish those of us that forked up. Our hypocrisy no be for here.

fattprince:

Pansophist, Do you believe in hell? Or you believe it's just as abstract where we are rewarded for our undoings before death, or are you just being outright sarcastic since you used us and fork up?

pansophist:


Sarcasm my friend.

But the hell I believe in is the hell of living in agony, as a result of our bad decisions, or life unfortunate circumstances. Imagine impregnating three different women, jobless and have to pay child support, and addicted to drugs, and from a broken home at the same time. Only one person. Thats hell.

Iyaebe:
Are you a Jehovah witness or an atheist?

pansophist:


None of the above. Sometimes I believe, sometimes I don't believe. So you can say that I'm confused.