Just show love to your wife because she is now your madam. Quarrels, argument already are part of the marriage package since it is for better or for worse. Show love to her, do not cheat on her or do not hit her and treat her very well, respect her and let your actions do the talking. Pray for her, It takes two to tangle and Let her win the argument, and watch her transform from the devil to an angel. Be assertive not aggressive. When you are angry , walk out to cool off. Practice make perfect, marriage na work for new comers. Happy wife happy life

Administration1:
Oga, let me tell you the bitter truth, Its a long read and full of typos.
The marriage will not last if you continue exchanging words with her, but from my own standpoint, let me give you candid advice.
1. Don't you ever think of resigning!!! Never it cross your mind
2. Get a second phone or better still change the contact of the number of the lady you love, but make sure you tell her that you are married oh, so don't start sending useless love messages back and front.
I got married too to someone I was pressured to get married to, but believe you me, she can never think of touching my phone or suspectign her, I give her all the money or attention she needs, in fact, my salary immediately I am paid, I send it to her including the last kobo, na she dey pay tithe(I still have a relationship with God), but she is in control of it, even when I lack money, I try never to ask her.
3. Get a smallie, probably one of those little decent girls from a well-to-do home as a side chick, go through my profile, you will see one of my posts and learn how to get such a girl. When you do, make it clear from the onset that you are married but you don't love the lady. Right now sef we have broken up because Our Accounts Officer and I have found a way to make ourselves happy irrespective of our marriages.
4. Don't you ever lay your hands on your wife, biko, just avoid her, I even look for ways to make my wife go on trips, in her mind this man loves me, whereas it's just to make me have peace of mind either with the smallie or our Accounts Officer who is also wishing same thing for her husband. The funny thing is that both my smallie and our Accounts Officer visits our home(But I never ever take them to our room to do the thing).
5. Make peace with yourself that your ex can never come back,

This post summarizes what's wrong with most Nigerian marriages.

Mercychen:
Na long throat dey worry you. Because the other lady earns a 7 digit salary that's why she's now the love of your life and your wife is the devil. Shame on you!

See, you brought whatever it is you're facing upon yourself. so, carry your cross in peace. If you had practised self-control, you wouldn't be in this mess today..

Let this serve as a lesson to the likes of you who are still sleeping recklessly around without protection.

What sex is going to cause this generation?

and he is kinda selfish, does the think the ex will have a good time married to him with is baggage. Infact i hope the ex does not come back and both have a fulfilled life. Op please free your ex wish her the best of the best as i dont think you are for her, you are drawn to her for some selfish reasons and not genuine love. Wish you the best sir.

Bonesbreaker:
Baba u be mumu man, solution call your mother and the said lady one day sit them down jejely remove your wedding ring put it into your mother's finger tell her to marry her since she is the one hunting for the said marriage that today you are done stand up and move out that ur one time crush is she still single go and engage her start afresh buh watch the drama your action will cause but u will be free also tell that your ex wife to start staying with your mother as ur done seening her close to your house remember to call her parents to inform them.

Is it the mother that went to the internet to search for wife for him, what I understand is that the mother wants him to be settled well, and not have a scattered marital life. Read well.

Damn

Ogbeni if u no dey comfortable for that marriage "Japa" o

Homeboiy:
Mugu

Your wife did this , your wife did that

Your wife is giving your troubles because you don’t appreciate her.

You know she’s not good for you and you had sex with her raw.

Oga go back and love your wife

And peace you shall receive

they both had sex not like is the guy that planned it alone. Stop seeing sex as the only thing you can offer to a guy. Ochis

SmellySperm:
Hmm marriage wahala here and there. Una com dey mk us fear.

Baba God abeg mk we no fall into the hands of wrong and devilish women wen we finally wan setle down,Amen
But single life sweet abeg

Single life is sweet...but he who finds a WIFE finds a good thing,and obtains favour from the lord....
Not sadness,anger,or the likes.

God go help us find our missing rib...

go back and love your wife, the attention you get from strange woman outside made you lose your home. go back and your wife and love her, all will be well. there is no joy in having BABY MAMA

Oga, just tell us the true that you have find another lady who is Rich and you want to leave your wife

You want to win your ex over when you are still with another woman. You need to call it quit with the woman you are not happy with but always take good care of your child. No man can handle a nagging wife, if you try it, you are gradually digging your own grave. You need to take a time off, travel somewhere quite and think about your next line of action.

Chai....once your foundation in marriage is faulty, that marriage cannot work... Hmmm... Except God decide to give both of you one special grace like that. Oga, the foundation of your marriage is bad already. Don't start blaming anything on her. You too have your own misdemeanor.

You frequently mentioned that your mom forced you into the union. I think that's a serious issue. But before I advise, I have one question: How old are you?

When life offers your bitter leaf, make bitter leaf soup.

Leaving your wife and your kid for another relationship won't give you the sanity you so desire.
You need to work on your mind and learn to love her again. Focus on her strengths and help her overcome her weaknesses. True love is actually about loving the unlovable. Every woman will respond to genuine love and reciprocate same.
Please don't give up on your wife. Divorce has a devastating effect on kids. It's not going be easy, but I can assure you that it will turn out good if you put in the work.
�

Don't blame your mum. Blame yourself for getting the lady pregnant which must have made your mum put pressure on you to marry so as not to drag the family's reputation to the mud.
Love is like a salt to every relationship that metamorphosed to marriage and if such is found wanting, then the aim of marriage has been defeated. If you feel there's no love in this union, it's better you end it before it eventually ends you. Nevertheless as a man you must take responsibility for your actions, don't give room for societal or family pressure to push you against your wishes.

MyOleSolksjaer:
Dear All,

I need your candid advise on these matters that touch the heart. I got married last year to the mother of my beautiful daughter sometime in August last year during the COVID lock down. The marriage was against my wishes and due to parental pressure. Prior to marrying my wife, I was doing a good job by making sure I take good care of my daughter and the mom. My daughter just turned 2 in July and has already started going to school. My wife and I met online and started dating immediately after our first sexual encounter. Along the line she got pregnant and we started having misunderstandings. We both decided we will keep the baby because I made a vow with God not to abort any child with any woman I impregnate.

However, to cut the story short we both agreed we won't get married and her parents were cool with it as long as I take care of their daughter and my child. Then came COVID and during the events of the lockdown, I entered into a relationship with a Chemical Engineer that earns a 7 figure monthly salary. The relationship lasted for months but my mom never supported the relationship and did everything to make sure I break up with this lovely lady in a bid to marry my baby mama. I was against it knowing fully well that she is very quarrelsome and dramatic. I had inner peace with my lockdown girlfriend. Till now I still miss her and want to be with her despite being married to my wife who is always looking for ways to suspect me for one thing or the other. She has even threatened that if she catch me cheating, she will cheat back.

My marriage for the past 1 year has been full of problems, drama, and even attempted violence. My wife just graduated from Uni and is about to go in for her NYSC. I am even praying she gets posted out of Lagos preferably the North. This marriage has drained me of all my resources and has taken away a lot from me. My wife doesn't appreciate the good I do for her and my daughter. She is always quick to judge me and criticize for every small mistake I make. She nags all the time and always want to pick a fight for bullshit reasons. I don't find my wife attractive anymore and I have lost every desire to have sex with her from the first day we married in August last year.

She gets upset when female colleagues at work call me. I had considered resigning because we had an issue over my boss at work who always calls me for work related stuff. I am not on good terms with my mom because she engineered this marriage against my own wishes. My wife and I don't have a good relationship. It has gotten so bad that we don't sleep in the same room anymore. I had to leave the house for some time to stay in an accommodation provided by my work place so I can have inner peace and regain my sanity.

I am so pained because of my relationship that ended abruptly. I tried getting back with my Ex whom I still love but now she doesn't want to have anything to do with me despite how much I still love her. My question is, should I still try to win my ex over or find another woman? As for my marriage, I consider it dead and over. I don't care what my parents particularly my mom will do. I don't bleeping care anymore. All I want is my love to come back to my life and end this toxic marriage.

You better stay in that marriage and work it out, I see you as the problem here because you don't know what you want, if you do you will take charge as a man and stir the wheels of your marriage the way you want it positively. You can't eat your cake and have it at the same time, is it your mum that went to the internet to pick a wife for you, all she wants is for you to marry who you got pregnant and not have a scattered marital life, you went for your wife, did you ask God if she was the one, you just went into it on your own, got her pregnant and now you want out. See sit up and work on your family and stop acting as if you are not a man. Stop running away from your reality. So because you met an engineer with seven figures you want to follow her, have you asked yourself how you will cope if the engineer start her own woman madness and wahala, and have you even taken the case to God to know what is real for you, now you want to just jump in again. Love is not enough in marriage. Go back to your wife and sort things out like a matured man that you are period!!!

NB:I noticed you don't pray, if you do, from your write up it will show, you just believe in your own man power. Na GOD get power oh brother man

Marriage is not for everybody

MyOleSolksjaer:
Dear All,

I need your candid advise on these matters that touch the heart. I got married last year to the mother of my beautiful daughter sometime in August last year during the COVID lock down. The marriage was against my wishes and due to parental pressure. Prior to marrying my wife, I was doing a good job by making sure I take good care of my daughter and the mom. My daughter just turned 2 in July and has already started going to school. My wife and I met online and started dating immediately after our first sexual encounter. Along the line she got pregnant and we started having misunderstandings. We both decided we will keep the baby because I made a vow with God not to abort any child with any woman I impregnate.

However, to cut the story short we both agreed we won't get married and her parents were cool with it as long as I take care of their daughter and my child. Then came COVID and during the events of the lockdown, I entered into a relationship with a Chemical Engineer that earns a 7 figure monthly salary. The relationship lasted for months but my mom never supported the relationship and did everything to make sure I break up with this lovely lady in a bid to marry my baby mama. I was against it knowing fully well that she is very quarrelsome and dramatic. I had inner peace with my lockdown girlfriend. Till now I still miss her and want to be with her despite being married to my wife who is always looking for ways to suspect me for one thing or the other. She has even threatened that if she catch me cheating, she will cheat back.

My marriage for the past 1 year has been full of problems, drama, and even attempted violence. My wife just graduated from Uni and is about to go in for her NYSC. I am even praying she gets posted out of Lagos preferably the North. This marriage has drained me of all my resources and has taken away a lot from me. My wife doesn't appreciate the good I do for her and my daughter. She is always quick to judge me and criticize for every small mistake I make. She nags all the time and always want to pick a fight for bullshit reasons. I don't find my wife attractive anymore and I have lost every desire to have sex with her from the first day we married in August last year.

She gets upset when female colleagues at work call me. I had considered resigning because we had an issue over my boss at work who always calls me for work related stuff. I am not on good terms with my mom because she engineered this marriage against my own wishes. My wife and I don't have a good relationship. It has gotten so bad that we don't sleep in the same room anymore. I had to leave the house for some time to stay in an accommodation provided by my work place so I can have inner peace and regain my sanity.

I am so pained because of my relationship that ended abruptly. I tried getting back with my Ex whom I still love but now she doesn't want to have anything to do with me despite how much I still love her. My question is, should I still try to win my ex over or find another woman? As for my marriage, I consider it dead and over. I don't care what my parents particularly my mom will do. I don't bleeping care anymore. All I want is my love to come back to my life and end this toxic marriage.

When I tell pple to zip up they go think say i no like them. See watn e dn cause

Iyaebe:
You are a gold digger and an opportunist you are only in love with the seven figures and not the lady.

Lol, full stop. They will say God is talking HIS own when he gave commandments, they don't know it's for their own good, nonsense and ingredients.

MyOleSolksjaer:
That is a lie. I knew this lady before I met my wife.

Yet you still went skinny dipping in the vagina of a troublesome woman. Na ojukokoro catch you. This is the kind of trouble unfaithfulness causes people.

Anyway I think you're just catching cruise with your post because judging by your post history, you're obsessed with sex

Godstime234:


My greatest fear of leaving my present marriage. I am also tired of my 3 years old marriage but I am afraid of what the next woman may be

Sometimes, a time apart can do you some good. I will never advice anyone to stay in a miserable relationship. But let’s not be too much in a haste to quit. Take a break, search yourself, rediscover what really makes you happy, and with mutual respect and understanding, you both will find peace, whether you are still together or not.

Godstime234:
The same thing I am going thru presently. I am not happy in my marriage but I dey fear of what another woman I may go for may hold. The devil you know is better than the angel u don't know

You better repent and take the case to God in prayers, you and your wife need God's help and Deliverance I tell you. Everything is in your hands.

Your wife is not the problem here you are the problem, look at your last paragraph ,since you got married to her, you have lost interest in having sex with her, secondly your mind is with you lock down girlfriend

Definitely the marriage will not work, you do not love your wife. your actions will show you do not love her, I am sure that is the reason for her complain, and nagging, it is still obvious your heart is outside ,

See in life , you must guild your marriage , if you want the marriage .
you said different people are calling you, is it business calls? If yes then she should not complain , if no, different ladies can not be calling you and you expect the woman at home not to complain, she must complain , will you accept her receiving calls from different men anytime and anyhow.


See face your marriage , face your wife , be open to her, stop thinking of one ex, or stop thinking their is one girl outside,
And you will see your marriage working perfectly well.













uote author=MyOleSolksjaer post=106474372]Dear All,

I need your candid advise on these matters that touch the heart. I got married last year to the mother of my beautiful daughter sometime in August last year during the COVID lock down. The marriage was against my wishes and due to parental pressure. Prior to marrying my wife, I was doing a good job by making sure I take good care of my daughter and the mom. My daughter just turned 2 in July and has already started going to school. My wife and I met online and started dating immediately after our first sexual encounter. Along the line she got pregnant and we started having misunderstandings. We both decided we will keep the baby because I made a vow with God not to abort any child with any woman I impregnate.

However, to cut the story short we both agreed we won't get married and her parents were cool with it as long as I take care of their daughter and my child. Then came COVID and during the events of the lockdown, I entered into a relationship with a Chemical Engineer that earns a 7 figure monthly salary. The relationship lasted for months but my mom never supported the relationship and did everything to make sure I break up with this lovely lady in a bid to marry my baby mama. I was against it knowing fully well that she is very quarrelsome and dramatic. I had inner peace with my lockdown girlfriend. Till now I still miss her and want to be with her despite being married to my wife who is always looking for ways to suspect me for one thing or the other. She has even threatened that if she catch me cheating, she will cheat back.

My marriage for the past 1 year has been full of problems, drama, and even attempted violence. My wife just graduated from Uni and is about to go in for her NYSC. I am even praying she gets posted out of Lagos preferably the North. This marriage has drained me of all my resources and has taken away a lot from me. My wife doesn't appreciate the good I do for her and my daughter. She is always quick to judge me and criticize for every small mistake I make. She nags all the time and always want to pick a fight for bullshit reasons. I don't find my wife attractive anymore and I have lost every desire to have sex with her from the first day we married in August last year.

She gets upset when female colleagues at work call me. I had considered resigning because we had an issue over my boss at work who always calls me for work related stuff. I am not on good terms with my mom because she engineered this marriage against my own wishes. My wife and I don't have a good relationship. It has gotten so bad that we don't sleep in the same room anymore. I had to leave the house for some time to stay in an accommodation provided by my work place so I can have inner peace and regain my sanity.

Them no dey engineer person marry, you wanted to get married, end of story... If really you never had the intention of marrying this girl, even heaven for no fit push u to marry. So stop blaming your mom, you are a man and suppose to have the final say in whom you spend your life with. Marriage is too long to spend with a person like you described your wife to be... Even if I don't support broken marriage, but if it pose a threat to your mental health, my brother walk away legally before one woman make u slip into depression..... E Better Make people laugh you than them cry for you... Because if you die as a result of this marriage ur wife go marry again and sleep with another man again Afterall she is young.... If she too mourn you, 2years.

MyOleSolksjaer:
Dear All,

I need your candid advise on these matters that touch the heart. I got married last year to the mother of my beautiful daughter sometime in August last year during the COVID lock down. The marriage was against my wishes and due to parental pressure. Prior to marrying my wife, I was doing a good job by making sure I take good care of my daughter and the mom. My daughter just turned 2 in July and has already started going to school. My wife and I met online and started dating immediately after our first sexual encounter. Along the line she got pregnant and we started having misunderstandings. We both decided we will keep the baby because I made a vow with God not to abort any child with any woman I impregnate.

However, to cut the story short we both agreed we won't get married and her parents were cool with it as long as I take care of their daughter and my child. Then came COVID and during the events of the lockdown, I entered into a relationship with a Chemical Engineer that earns a 7 figure monthly salary. The relationship lasted for months but my mom never supported the relationship and did everything to make sure I break up with this lovely lady in a bid to marry my baby mama. I was against it knowing fully well that she is very quarrelsome and dramatic. I had inner peace with my lockdown girlfriend. Till now I still miss her and want to be with her despite being married to my wife who is always looking for ways to suspect me for one thing or the other. She has even threatened that if she catch me cheating, she will cheat back.

My marriage for the past 1 year has been full of problems, drama, and even attempted violence. My wife just graduated from Uni and is about to go in for her NYSC. I am even praying she gets posted out of Lagos preferably the North. This marriage has drained me of all my resources and has taken away a lot from me. My wife doesn't appreciate the good I do for her and my daughter. She is always quick to judge me and criticize for every small mistake I make. She nags all the time and always want to pick a fight for bullshit reasons. I don't find my wife attractive anymore and I have lost every desire to have sex with her from the first day we married in August last year.

She gets upset when female colleagues at work call me. I had considered resigning because we had an issue over my boss at work who always calls me for work related stuff. I am not on good terms with my mom because she engineered this marriage against my own wishes. My wife and I don't have a good relationship. It has gotten so bad that we don't sleep in the same room anymore. I had to leave the house for some time to stay in an accommodation provided by my work place so I can have inner peace and regain my sanity.

I am so pained because of my relationship that ended abruptly. I tried getting back with my Ex whom I still love but now she doesn't want to have anything to do with me despite how much I still love her. My question is, should I still try to win my ex over or find another woman? As for my marriage, I consider it dead and over. I don't care what my parents particularly my mom will do. I don't bleeping care anymore. All I want is my love to come back to my life and end this toxic marriage.

Don't cause problems for the other lady. You and your freaking wife should go for therapy. Meet a relationship expert and work on your relationship.

Go and complain to your mum abeg. Shebi na she say make you marry the woman. And you sef you listened. Against your wish. Ehn make she settle am na.

Iyaebe:
You are a gold digger and an opportunist you are only in love with the seven figures and not the lady.

Summary:
He a useless man

Ok in all this your mom is to be blame you never knew your wife well but end up marrying her because of parent pressure on getting married, ok now that the house is on fire are they there to help you put the fire out ..? No they are not.....

The elders in the house can say something to you...

BRATISLAVA:
Men who cannot go down on their knees and fight for their marriage have no virtues. Another man would do a better job. All these men who cannot be men in their homes, always looking for the quickest escape.

We need her side of the story. Because OP sounds like a nagging gold digger himself.

Just because they say life is tew short does not mean a man must go on his kneels to fight, moreover fighting for what you don't believe in, is just an intentional waste of time.
Apparently OP thinks he has seen a better choice, except that choice becomes imperfect he will never see any good in his baby mama ...so the best advice is to let him do that he already has in mind

MyOleSolksjaer:
That is a lie. I knew this lady before I met my wife.

okay but have you married this lady and lived under the same roof? Go and marry her and she will treat you like the houseboy you are with all your baggage. She will never fail to remind you that she can do better than you. You’re just a hopeless lapdog lost in the world. You have gold in your hands but you want to throw it away for temporary satisfaction. I pity you.

Administration1:
Oga, let me tell you the bitter truth, Its a long read and full of typos.
The marriage will not last if you continue exchanging words with her, but from my own standpoint, let me give you candid advice.
1. Don't you ever think of resigning!!! Never it cross your mind
2. Get a second phone or better still change the contact of the number of the lady you love, but make sure you tell her that you are married oh, so don't start sending useless love messages back and front.
I got married too to someone I was pressured to get married to, but believe you me, she can never think of touching my phone or suspectign her, I give her all the money or attention she needs, in fact, my salary immediately I am paid, I send it to her including the last kobo, na she dey pay tithe(I still have a relationship with God), but she is in control of it, even when I lack money, I try never to ask her.
3. Get a smallie, probably one of those little decent girls from a well-to-do home as a side chick, go through my profile, you will see one of my posts and learn how to get such a girl. When you do, make it clear from the onset that you are married but you don't love the lady. Right now sef we have broken up because Our Accounts Officer and I have found a way to make ourselves happy irrespective of our marriages.
4. Don't you ever lay your hands on your wife, biko, just avoid her, I even look for ways to make my wife go on trips, in her mind this man loves me, whereas it's just to make me have peace of mind either with the smallie or our Accounts Officer who is also wishing same thing for her husband. The funny thing is that both my smallie and our Accounts Officer visits our home(But I never ever take them to our room to do the thing).
5. Make peace with yourself that your ex can never come back,

You need help honestly, may total Deliverance be your portion. Think about your life