jaxxy:


Never make business decisions for women based on emotions. Most are imcompetent and very ungrateful. They are very selfish and self centered if u allow them, they have terrible sense of judgement about those who help or sacrifice for them.

Infact sacrificing too much for a woman is a red flag ure with a leech and the wrong woman. A good woman woman won’t let u run urself down for her, she will have patience and manners not patience with manipulation and attitude.

Ure wife is currently selfishly manipulating u and doesn’t see the adverse effects cos of her greed, poor judgement or bad character.

Actions to take: U better ignore her completely for now till she returns to her normal senses.

If there was a way to like this x10 I would.

And you forgot to add - they always only do what is convenient for them.

distinguish:
We have been married for a year now. We have been trying to conceive. Because of the emotional stress attached my wife said she can't be staying at home alone, it causes her stress. She said she wants to start doing something. At least a business.

I took a loan from my place of work and we started the business for over 2 months now. The issue now is that, I don't always have cash on me anymore. Any little money I got it's for the business. Basically, we mostly feed from the business.

Yesterday, after we returned home, she started giving me attitude, I asked her what the issue was, she started telling me how I am killing the business, not taking good care of her, not having money to take care of her and all sort of rubbish, she brought out how incompetent I am as a husband and what have you. I never said a word to reply her and its eating me up seriously, I could not sleep the whole night. This is the person that I sacrificed a lot for. I was supposed a take a professional course this November, but because of her I had to postpone it.

Please I need your advice.

PS: I did not eat the food she prepared last night.

This is the reason why you should be grounded bfr taking the marriage route. See Ino Dey blame ladies nobody like to suffer. Economy is hard Nd your wife doesn’t see through that angle. You just have to sit her down Nd discuss about your pressing issues. All the best sir.!!!

okoroemeka:
well, for a one year old marriage with no kids yet to be having problems about finance is pointing to a clear and present danger,if children comes with your present financial issues it may be a serious problem with high blood pressure thrown in for you,try and improve your sources to be making money because as long as I can see that is the only problem you have,don't expect your wife to be footing your bills without an attitude,that is how they do and pls don't reject her food it will only make matters worse,I am now married for 21 years and I have been in your shoes and seen how it can pinch,just rethink,restrategize and think out of the box how to improve your finance and you will see your problems fade away.

This is one of the stupid men out here who are slaves in their marriages. They ll go to any length just to make their cheap hoes called wives happy.

Listen @Op, if you follow this fool, you ll never be happy in life. You ll keep pushing and pushing until you drop dead. Women ll always demand for more and more unless you r one of luck men whose wives aren’t materialistic and greedy.

Solution: Take care of yourself first! You come first before anybody. If you run and run for a woman, she ll eventually say you are not doing anything. If you have #500, your wife should be able to manage it with you without running you down with her useless mouth. If she doesn’t understand your financial situation now, trust me, she ll never understand your situation tomorrow. If she can’t do it herself, then tell yourself, why do i need to kill myself on top of a wretched lady who could not set herself up before marriage? Why must it be you? Why?

Don’t throw your happiness away cos of a bitch who could dump your ass tomorrow and go with another man. Go for your professional course regardless how she feels. If she needs money, tell her to go and do something. If you allow this silly myth-“A man must provide for a woman” in your head, you ll be wasted like a lot of men out here.

If you are in doubt, do you see Davido, Wizkid etc, pls compare their lives to those foolish men in marriages, you ll see that 80% of those guys in marriage are miserable. They are scared of being alone, so they ll do anything to keep their wives in their lives.

If she is giving you problems, listen, kick her out. There are thousand women out here that ll cherish 10% of what you have done for that ungrateful bitch.

The reason a lot of Nigerian men are living below poverty line is cos of this stupid mentality of marrying and carrying wretched ladies responsibilities…

Pls be cool,God will ease ur affairs

Oizee:
forget about them......I pray my sons will never come across any of them.
Their parents were a total failure and they now want to put the burdens on a poor guy......
As long as a man is healthy and alive, train ur children well, if they can't get education let them learn a skill, it's still somtin.

Exactly! A typical African lady always assume the man is solely responsible for everything.

BigBashiru:


If there was a way to like this x10 I would.

And you forgot to add - they always only do what is convenient for them.

Yes bro, the tendency to think one sided is dry high with them especially if Ure a good. Only very very few really understand and appreciate ur efforts.

DreamSonInlaw:


God bless you real, real good. I hope lot of Nigerian girls have this your mindset.
It's a big issue for me, I can't marry a girl that only a graduate. Have something doing no matter how little; sewing, baking, interior decor.

What if something happens to me? What then happens to our kids? Or I am not in town you calling me for sugar, water..you know how mentally draining that is

Dalil8:



Spits... Na all this kind stupid advise dey make all these women dey misbehave.

I no blame una sha, some of una grow up listening to only ur mothers. Dem don brain wash una finish.

When ur woman do wrong abeg no let am slide. Make sure she apologize, then punish am. No dey apologize for problem wey she cause.

She no fit ever respect you if u dey always apologize even when na she fvck up.

Hahahaha!

distinguish:



Being deducted from my salary monthly

simply let her know you expect she will be responsible for repaying the loan so you can use your salary for other beneficial things for the home.

After all, if she took it from LAPO, won't she be responsible for repaying it from the business income?

Marriage is beautiful but it needs finance else it may end in frustration.

Why don't you register for the Fob Empowerment Initiative and change your story.

The Fob empowerment crew is using this medium to congratulate everybody reading this piece.

You are either on the way or about to begin the journey to financial freedom.

Fob is a very simple way via which many people are getting empowered mentally and financially.

It is usually overlooked, written off or underestimated by many.

It is too simple and too affordable to be real.

As much as Fob Empowerment is for everyone, the six primary factors that are key to us are:

Simplicity

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it is affordable such that the pure water seller, the unemployed, the housewives, the students, the challenged, the vegetable sellers and so on can afford it.

After going through the process, the reward is life changing.

You start experiencing the result in no time. It must be something that will be accomplished in a few months.

Another critical attribute of Fob Empowerment is that it is not demanding.
It does not affect what you are doing presently.

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All the above are factored into what today is tagged Fob Recruitment Reorientation and empowerment Initiative.

In conclusion, registering for Fob is a risk but it is a positive risk and it is better than just watching from the sideline.

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distinguish:
We have been married for a year now. We have been trying to conceive. Because of the emotional stress attached my wife said she can't be staying at home alone, it causes her stress. She said she wants to start doing something. At least a business.

I took a loan from my place of work and we started the business for over 2 months now. The issue now is that, I don't always have cash on me anymore. Any little money I got it's for the business. Basically, we mostly feed from the business.

Yesterday, after we returned home, she started giving me attitude, I asked her what the issue was, she started telling me how I am killing the business, not taking good care of her, not having money to take care of her and all sort of rubbish, she brought out how incompetent I am as a husband and what have you. I never said a word to reply her and its eating me up seriously, I could not sleep the whole night. This is the person that I sacrificed a lot for. I was supposed a take a professional course this November, but because of her I had to postpone it.

Please I need your advice.

PS: I did not eat the food she prepared last night.

Your wife is doing what women do. As the husband you have to be emotionally deep to overcome these tantrums. Have a hands-on approach to the business to ensure she doesn't wreck you both financially. Communicate with her firmly but with love on the other things.

Give her some time, she Will change

MISSCONGENIALITY:
The truth is a business that started 2months ago had not grown enough for you to start eating from it. It will run down in a week. Remember each time one goes to the market to restock, prices of goods are never the same. The amount you buy vegetable oil today is not the same amount you will buy it next week. Which means even with the little profit you thought you made, you will still not have enough to restock talk.more or buying extra things for the house. Someone who's starting a business for the first time will find it very hard to make it because the business is still in it's infant stage.
Your wife knows what's she's experiencing and you should understand with her. If you people eat off the 2montjs old business, then be rest assured it will close down soon and that's why your wife is seeing. Things are really hard.

Good perspective

Bola146:
Wahala in marriages especially when the foundation is faulty I'll never advise a idle lady to go into marriage, she must have something little to support her husband at home, she should learn a handiwork or business, instead of spending much on wedding, they can use it for her to start a business and do a low key wedding. If she can't understand your financial condition as an adult and how Nigeria economy is so bad now, I don't know what else she needs. Emotionally she might be disturbed for infertility.

You must be a very good lady for you to say this.

iliyande:
Family issues. Every family you see today mostly passed through issues.

That's scary of marriage. To survive this harsh economic period as a man, marry not necessarily a working class lady but an industrious and independent lady who can turn a thousand to two thousand to complement your effort.

Hello Brother, can we talk via your email. Do relax, there is light at the tunnel. You ll be happy. Mark these words. Changes that will marvel you.

incogni2o:


Rubbish rhetorical talk with no point.

Exactly how your image is

When money is present, love is sweeter.........

distinguish:
We have been married for a year now. We have been trying to conceive. Because of the emotional stress attached my wife said she can't be staying at home alone, it causes her stress. She said she wants to start doing something. At least a business.

I took a loan from my place of work and we started the business for over 2 months now. The issue now is that, I don't always have cash on me anymore. Any little money I got it's for the business. Basically, we mostly feed from the business.

Yesterday, after we returned home, she started giving me attitude, I asked her what the issue was, she started telling me how I am killing the business, not taking good care of her, not having money to take care of her and all sort of rubbish, she brought out how incompetent I am as a husband and what have you. I never said a word to reply her and its eating me up seriously, I could not sleep the whole night. This is the person that I sacrificed a lot for. I was supposed a take a professional course this November, but because of her I had to postpone it.

Please I need your advice.

PS: I did not eat the food she prepared last night.

Both of you are stressing over different things ......
Both of you need to sit down and calculate real figures, not in your heads, but with a pen & paper.....

Put yourselves through stress, would not also hasten her ability to conceive........

Get your finances right before she conceives, because having children is a very expensive business (if you want the best for that child)........

distinguish:
We have been married for a year now. We have been trying to conceive. Because of the emotional stress attached my wife said she can't be staying at home alone, it causes her stress. She said she wants to start doing something. At least a business.

I took a loan from my place of work and we started the business for over 2 months now. The issue now is that, I don't always have cash on me anymore. Any little money I got it's for the business. Basically, we mostly feed from the business.

Yesterday, after we returned home, she started giving me attitude, I asked her what the issue was, she started telling me how I am killing the business, not taking good care of her, not having money to take care of her and all sort of rubbish, she brought out how incompetent I am as a husband and what have you. I never said a word to reply her and its eating me up seriously, I could not sleep the whole night. This is the person that I sacrificed a lot for. I was supposed a take a professional course this November, but because of her I had to postpone it.

Please I need your advice.

PS: I did not eat the food she prepared last night.

Unless where you suspect poisoning, never refuse food that was cooked with your hard earned money.
She must have made a new female friend or currently has an admirer. These majorly two things that make shallow minded women to misbehave

distinguish:
We have been married for a year now. We have been trying to conceive. Because of the emotional stress attached my wife said she can't be staying at home alone, it causes her stress. She said she wants to start doing something. At least a business.

I took a loan from my place of work and we started the business for over 2 months now. The issue now is that, I don't always have cash on me anymore. Any little money I got it's for the business. Basically, we mostly feed from the business.

Yesterday, after we returned home, she started giving me attitude, I asked her what the issue was, she started telling me how I am killing the business, not taking good care of her, not having money to take care of her and all sort of rubbish, she brought out how incompetent I am as a husband and what have you. I never said a word to reply her and its eating me up seriously, I could not sleep the whole night. This is the person that I sacrificed a lot for. I was supposed a take a professional course this November, but because of her I had to postpone it.

Please I need your advice.

PS: I did not eat the food she prepared last night.

welcome to marriage brother. That's women for you. They don't care about the sacrifices you make for them rather they care only about themselves and their wants. You would be shocked she is measuring you and comparing you with her friends. My advise for you is to keep on working hard not for her but for your unborn kids. Leave the business for her and look for other ways to generate money and please let her not know about it.

People and words. Going through difficult times is normal but to now be insulting your partner during those times is something I cannot stand.

Job's wife told him to curse God and die. She insulted and left Job. Job wasn't a poor man. He was going through difficult times.

How a partner behaves during difficult times is hard to predict. However a partner bringing nothing to the table and starts insulting their spouse during difficult times is the very height of immaturity and stupidity. That person is a liability.

simplepee:
You did not eat the food. Ebi ni o pa e..


When I tell girls, stop rushing into marriage because of just love. They say I too like money. Yes, I like money. Reason I have let love rest and buckled up my shoes to chase money, more money and money.. When I am a bit comfortable, I will look for love.

By the time hunger wire you for marriage. And you can't afford basic decent things for yourself, that love will clear from your eyes..

Carry your cross op and continue "managing". Shebi suffer dey sweet una??

ɭɷɭ.ىҽҽ taɭk. wɧҽŋ ʏɷųɾҽ a bɩt cɷmʆɷɾtabɭҽ ʏɷųɭɭ maɾɾʏ. aىɩʆ ų ɧɩɖҽ a ɧųىbaŋɖ ىɷmҽwɧҽɾҽ wҽʏ ų ɠɷ pɩck ųp ɠɷ .maɾɾʏ aʆtҽɾ ʏɷųɾҽ cɷmʆɷɾtabɭҽ

distinguish:
We have been married for a year now. We have been trying to conceive. Because of the emotional stress attached my wife said she can't be staying at home alone, it causes her stress. She said she wants to start doing something. At least a business.

I took a loan from my place of work and we started the business for over 2 months now. The issue now is that, I don't always have cash on me anymore. Any little money I got it's for the business. Basically, we mostly feed from the business.

Yesterday, after we returned home, she started giving me attitude, I asked her what the issue was, she started telling me how I am killing the business, not taking good care of her, not having money to take care of her and all sort of rubbish, she brought out how incompetent I am as a husband and what have you. I never said a word to reply her and its eating me up seriously, I could not sleep the whole night. This is the person that I sacrificed a lot for. I was supposed a take a professional course this November, but because of her I had to postpone it.

Please I need your advice.

PS: I did not eat the food she prepared last night.

Your words are nerve calming, reassuring and comforting. But you didn't add prayer,very important. Kudos!



The person I quoted is a rare breed on NL. Everywhere is full of garbages in here.

angelfallz:
I agree it is not a foundation issue. But i disagree that it is financial.

Remember the OP said they are trying to conceive. The keyword is "trying". It is possible that not being able to conceive yet, is playing on the woman's mind. Hence making her act irrationally and looking for things to distract her or take her mind of the issue. It is probably why she wants to get out of the house.
It is also possible that, she is fearful that her husband might be thinking of getting another wife, hence her accusations that he is not taking good care of her.

if there have money, i tell you, this issue will not arise. forget the trying to conceive issue. they are just 1yr in the union.

Is marriages compulsory?

distinguish:
We have been married for a year now. We have been trying to conceive. Because of the emotional stress attached my wife said she can't be staying at home alone, it causes her stress. She said she wants to start doing something. At least a business.

I took a loan from my place of work and we started the business for over 2 months now. The issue now is that, I don't always have cash on me anymore. Any little money I got it's for the business. Basically, we mostly feed from the business.

Yesterday, after we returned home, she started giving me attitude, I asked her what the issue was, she started telling me how I am killing the business, not taking good care of her, not having money to take care of her and all sort of rubbish, she brought out how incompetent I am as a husband and what have you. I never said a word to reply her and its eating me up seriously, I could not sleep the whole night. This is the person that I sacrificed a lot for. I was supposed a take a professional course this November, but because of her I had to postpone it.

Please I need your advice.



PS: I did not eat the food she prepared last night.

When one party is making a huge sacrifice for the survival of the marriage and the other party fails to recognize and appreciate it out of a deep sense of entitlement, is always the begging of crisis in marriage.

OP, you need to know that pains of ingratitude and betrayal in marriage kill faster than cancer. A lot of men have developed high blood pressure and other related sickness because of pains of betrayal. Don't be emotional about your marital issues, and take everything off your mind and remain focused. Find a way to improve yourself and take care of yourself at all times. Don't reject food because it is yours. The kind of person you marry will determine the kind of sacrifice you will make, therefore, not all sacrifice is worth making. You will certainly pay back the loan alone, even though appreciation has already gone down the drain.

okoroemeka:
don't expect your wife to be footing your bills without an attitude,that is how they do

pls don't reject her food it will only make matters worse

I am now married for 21 years and I have been in your shoes and seen how it can pinch.

A man's advice. Much respect. 21 years experience is not child's play.

That's a Board Member of Marriage Institution.

I salute you sir.

DreamSonInlaw:


God bless you real, real good. I hope lot of Nigerian girls have this your mindset.
It's a big issue for me, I can't marry a girl that only a graduate. Have something doing no matter how little; sewing, baking, interior decor.

What if something happens to me? What then happens to our kids? Or I am not in town you calling me for sugar, water..you know how mentally draining that is

Very important. The woman must be able to bring money into the home.

I pray no man marries a woman who would rather have a spend mindset rather than a growth mindset. Every tree needs nutrients and foundation to grow strong. No seed germinates immediately.

I am not so worried for Nigerian women. I am aware that the noise makers are a minority of the female populace. However that minority, flee from them. They add no value to your life - absolutely none!!

Davash222:

A man will kneel and beg a woman to marry him
Same man will still pay bride price
Same man will still train and set up the woman

Just for procreation


We need to revisit and readjust some ethics in this institution called marriage.

Who made it a law that you must kneel down to propose to a woman? This is an alien culture that is exogenous to the institution of marriage. In other words I don't think the marriage institution in it original and pure form has any ethical flaw.

What we need to adjust are the wrong notions, ideologies and mindsets we have associated with the institution, because all that God created was good.

silvoclaira:
@Op I feel for you and the family. Things are really expensive out here and money nor reach.

https://www.nairaland.com/6853192/inflation-women-please-pity-husbands

Please just take it easy on your wife. The pressure on you is the same kind of pressure on her too.

Things are really hard this times in Nigeria, so we only have to be patient and try absorbing all the shocks okay.

I believe you are a good man, your wife is a good woman.

If She is into business which is a daily thing so, she should know how tough things are today and you both can work it out better. You both should have a honest discussion of what is on ground today.

Lastly try and be in your best mind and shape, eat food. Take care of yourself and be healthy.

Who is pressurising her? The economy?

Lexusgs430:
When money is present, love is sweeter.........

If it depends on money then it's not love.