@dstiva99, are you kidding me right now

let me see. Are you saying that guy went missing and only to come back and tell you that he spent the night with his step grandma in hospital and you on the other side was taking this information in and processing it. kwakwakwakwakwakwa!!!  C'mon girl

Your boyfriend is the man. You must give me his number I'd like to be his friend.He is the Shiz Niz!! hahaha!!!

What happens when you guys reconcile and another misunderstanding surfaces? You'd keep begging him cos he had be used to it.
You have said sorry for your immaturity and if that's not enough then you'd be better off without him. It's really that simple

@ OP.
I dont care what you do, but please listen to Mr BrownJ.
Personally, i feel the guy has been looking for a way to call it quits with you and you just played into his hands. THE GUY DOESNT GIVE TWO FORKS ABOUT YOU. CLEAR, SHORT AND SIMPLE.

But na wa o, why do ladies find it difficult to get over guys?? You see girls still sticking to guys that abuse them, disrespect them in every way possible etc If someone dumps you, you forking dump him right back. If you feel someone doesnt treat you right, you forking dump him. Or can anyone explain to me??

Some of these are good points and I have heard. @Nelton, I woke up this morning thinking exactly what you said, I have done all I can do and now if some time passes (a week or two) and he does not get over it and contact me, I will consider the relationship over and move on. I am not perfect but I know that I am a good girlfriend and if he cannot see that, then I do not need to be with him. I think there is a big difference between anger and not caring and if after all I have done, he cannot forgive and move on, then I will assume, as some have said, that he was always looking for a way out of this relationship and there is nothing I could have done to change that. When the time comes, if I have not heard from him, I will just accept it and move on.

^^^ i am happy you are thinking like this i hope when the time comes you will take the right decision.

MRBrownJ:

^^^sista, there is a huge difference between telling (someone you are dating) intimate details about your life AND telling them the reason why you can't be with them. a simple text or call would do instead of disappearing.

@poster
i suggest you accept your fate: this guy doesnt give a damn about you.
see how many times you said I AM SORRY(text, phone, door etc) and yet not even a pip from this man. . . . . . . . . . . .  how more clear do you expect it to be?

think about this for a minute (or two): this guy didnt care much about telling you anything BEFORE, and thus didnt find it important to dwell on what goes on in his life TODAY. what does it say about how he feels about you? especially when you have already told him that you want to be aware of whats going on?

ps the fact that you were born in the US and him in Africa has nothing to do with the issues at hand!

Gbam. 

OP - If you want him back, use reverse psychology.  Dump him and play hard to get when he wants you back.
Whatever you do now, please resist the urge to contact him -- this is for dignity and sanity.

Do this and he will come back crawling -- experts had proven that this method work most of the time.

TheCongo

ONE SIDED TALE. . . I JUST WISH D TALKED BOUT GUY IS HERE TA READ ALL THIS. . . .


I CAN'T BLAME ALL U JUDGES COS U JUDGED ACCORDING TA WHAT SHE(D POSTER)POSTED ON HERE,,,WHAT IMMA TELL YOU IS TA FOLLOW UR INSTINCT COS U NEVER CAN TELL THIS MIGHT BE UR MAN,HOPE U UNDERSTAND WHAT I MEAN. . . GIVE URSELF SPACE ET TIME,GIVE HIM TIME TOO,COS U CAN'T BLAME WHO U DON'T SEE, UR RELATIONSHIP'S STILL YOUNG. . U GOT A LONG PATH TA FOOT. .

All,

As an update, my BF called me yesterday and left a message, as I was en route to another city I missed his call and he left a message saying: "Hi Babe, I just was calling to say hi. I hope you are doing well, I will call you back later" I was shocked that he sounded so casual after a week of not communicating to me at all. Should I call him back today? What should I say if I do? Honestly, I still care about him but the lack of communication really hurt my feelings and I was starting to try to get over him. Now just unsure. Any advice would be much appreciated.

Use reverse psychology.  Dump him and play hard to get if you want him to respect you
Whatever you do now, please resist the urge to contact him right now -- this is for dignity and sanity.

If he get you on the phone, tell him you need time to think

Please, please, don't be a revolving door to him , you have to set the tone

TheCongo

dstiva99:

All,

As an update, my BF called me yesterday and left a message, as I was en route to another city I missed his call and he left a message saying: "Hi Babe, I just was calling to say hi.  I hope you are doing well, I will call you back later"  I was shocked that he sounded so casual after a week of not communicating to me at all.  Should I call him back today?  What should I say if I do?  Honestly, I still care about him but the lack of communication really hurt my feelings and I was starting to try to get over him.  Now just unsure.  Any advice would be much appreciated.

NO - DON'T CALL.  "After all I did for him" - you did alot already - he knows it and you know it.  But let me clue you baby girl.  You DID NOTHING.  As everything on the planet belongs to God and all God does is shift and move it around placing it in the laps of those who have shown themselves approved unto God.

So let go of "What you did for him and how good of a girlfriend you are" - kill that angle.  Because it will bury you if you don't.

Call him?  HELLLLLL TO THE NOOOOOO.  Why?

Go out and party. Go to the gym.  Bury yourself in work.  Your efforts have been massive on his part - he knows it.  IT'S HIS TURN NOW.  If he wants you, let him be the MAN and step to you.  Get your mind off of him and what is, was, wasn't between the two of you.

If you were that good of a girlfriend, trust me he won't want you to get away and/or been seen in the arms of another.

Get busy.  Don't play games with him and don't allow him to play games with you.  He better man up if he wants you.  Games are for kids.  To get your man, You need to be a woman, not a girl.  Stay quiet, say nothing to him.  Everything has already been said that is to be said.  Action is needed at this point.

Let him be the man.  If he wants you, let him tell you and you be the woman and tell him the same.  Any hint of game playing from here forward.  Dump his backside and don't look back.  This is your life.

^^^^^ yes yes yes!!!

violent:

Fact#   He who cares less about a relationship dominates a relationship.

He knows you'd go  great lengths to have him back, so he's just enjoying the feeling that comes with it!. . .

Solution#

Stop chasing!!!. . .no one enjoys being ignored, especially by the people who they think couldn't live without them!

WORD!!

Shy-One:

NO - DON'T CALL.  "After all I did for him" - you did alot already - he knows it and you know it.  But let me clue you baby girl.  You DID NOTHING.  As everything on the planet belongs to God and all God does is shift and move it around placing it in the laps of those who have shown themselves approved unto God.

So let go of "What you did for him and how good of a girlfriend you are" - kill that angle.  Because it will bury you if you don't.

Call him?  HELLLLLL TO THE NOOOOOO.  Why?

Go out and party. Go to the gym.  Bury yourself in work.  Your efforts have been massive on his part - he knows it.  IT'S HIS TURN NOW.  If he wants you, let him be the MAN and step to you.  Get your mind off of him and what is, was, wasn't between the two of you.

If you were that good of a girlfriend, trust me he won't want you to get away and/or been seen in the arms of another.

Get busy.  Don't play games with him and don't allow him to play games with you.  He better man up if he wants you.  Games are for kids.  To get your man, You need to be a woman, not a girl.  Stay quiet, say nothing to him.  Everything has already been said that is to be said.  Action is needed at this point.

Let him be the man.  If he wants you, let him tell you and you be the woman and tell him the same.  Any hint of game playing from here forward.  Dump his backside and don't look back.  This is your life. 

SPOT ON!!

Gurl, the ball is in your court! You've done enough begging already, dude should not get used to this. Good luck with everything.

Poster,
Call him again and I'll campaign for you to be de-woman-ned! (do we have such a word?) The guy never loved you; never cared. It's that simple. If he did, you would have been the first person he would have called if his "grandmother" took ill. That is a fact. He was looking out for that opportunity to back out. And if he cared about you, he would have looked up to you for support at his moment of pressure. We the men are fibble and weak in the presence of our women. Just chill and pursue other dreams. If you don't you'd be the worse for it. I'm a man and I know exactly what I'm stating here.

TheCongo:

Use reverse psychology.  Dump him and play hard to get if you want him to respect you
Whatever you do now, please resist the urge to contact him right now -- this is for dignity and sanity.

If he get you on the phone, tell him you need time to think

Please, please, don't be a revolving door to him ,  you have to set the tone

TheCongo

hahahahahahahaha . .  Some of you guys are really funny. What is reverse psychology?? . .  Such antics do not move all guys, especially handsome fellas with swagger like me . . . . There are many gals on my waiting list!!   My

gal tried that with me twice and it always  backfired . .  At both times, she came back in less than one week begging. <sub>I do love <3  her tho.


Note; I'm also Nigerian born and raised, while my gal is American born and raised ( Nigerian parents).</sub>

@Metalgoong, I agree that reverse pschology does not work on every man but does begging really work either? I feel like continually chasing a man to beg you to be with him makes a woman look desperate and pushes him away or if he does stay, i feel he devalues the relationship because he feels like she cannot live without him. Now I am all for apologizing when I am in the wrong and for making my man feel special when its warrented but I'd be interested in hearing your thoughts since it seems like you are in a similar relationship re nigerian born vs american born.

@ All: a slight update: I called him back and of course got his vm and left a msg saying that he should call me back when he can and no call yet. We'll see, not sure what else to do at this point.

^^^^ wetin dey worry this poster sef? ehn? wetin dey worry you?

You have been advised several times not to call him that he doesnt feel jack about you. why are you forcing yourself on him? HE DOESNT FEEL NADA FOR YOU. GET IT? Jeez!

dstiva99:

@Metalgoong, I agree that reverse pschology does not work on every man but does begging really work either? I feel like continually chasing a man to beg you to be with him makes a woman look desperate and pushes him away or if he does stay, i feel he devalues the relationship because he feels like she cannot live without him. Now I am all for apologizing when I am in the wrong and for making my man feel special when its warrented but I'd be interested in hearing your thoughts since it seems like you are in a similar relationship re nigerian born vs american born.

@ All: a slight update: I called him back and of course got his vm and left a msg saying that he should call me back when he can and no call yet. We'll see, not sure what else to do at this point.

If you really want him back,and also being fully aware that you were the one that initiated this hiatus between two of you, then I would advice you give him sometime and also show some degree of remorsefulness . . . . I think you really toyed with his emotion by trying to use the "break up" antics to correct him or to express how bad you felt that he didnt tell you that he will be spending some time with his ailing stepmother in the hospital. . . . Also bear in mind that there is nothing wrong with apologizing, especially when you have wronged someone; this is something between only two of you. . . . In case if you guys get back together again, always tell him directly how you feel about things- tete a tete is the only way to avoid this kind of misunderstanding.

Honestly, when I saw your post, I thought it was written by my gal.

[b]OMG, am over whelmed of what dr okpa did for me and i thank God for the existence of the great man if not for him how would i have been able to get back my love who left me for 3years without notice,i have been contacting some fake spell casters online which they made away with my money and i saw no result,there was a day i was waching television when i saw a woman hgiving thanks to dr okpa and telling the world how he was helped, when i heard this i was so surprised because i never believed that there are real spell caster who can bring back lost love, so that was how i collected his email and his cell number,instantly after listening to the testimony i called him and i told him how i got his number and i told him my problem and how i have been scammed by some thiefs who claims to be spell casters online then told me not to worry that my love will surely be back to me within the next 24hours i was surprised i said how could that be possible who told me to watch and see, that was how i decided to wait,i n the next 24hours which he told i could not believe what i was seeing i saw my boy friend who left for 3years in my house he went on hi joy in my heart because this s knees in the presence of my 2 sisters he was pleading and begging me to forgive him, i was so surprised and i was filled up with i have looking for, that was how we started again and now we are living happily than ever before, and the most surprising thing was that he bought me a new car and he also gave me access to his bank account to to let me know that he is not going to leave me again for any reason.I thank you so much sir what you did for me i do really appreciate,casein you want to thank him for me or you need his help you can contact him through his private mail:almightyworldsolutiontemple@gmail.com or his cell number +2348138209842
Country:USA
[/b][i][/i]

dstiva99: Thanks iice. That is good advice. I will give him time.

@190, what is the meaning of what you said. Sorry don't understand naija slang

that`s not a naija slangs,that was PIDGIN,correct naija PIDGIN.