A first date brings with it the usual nervousness with a mixture of anticipation. Could this lead to something amazing? Could it be another disappointment? What should I wear? I wish I had lost those 5 pounds I promised to work on 5 months ago. All the typical thoughts that race through your mind as you prepare for the big night. But... what are men thinking as they go into all the preparations to meet you? You may be surprised!

If you've read my other articles you know I spent many years interviewing over 2,000 men on the topic of women. From dating to marriage, pet peeves to things that make their heart flutter, I asked these guys 98 questions about romance, relationships and love. What I found was that men are a lot more romantic than women give them credit for. They fall in love faster, believe in love at first sight, and want that special lady in their life to be happy.

So, when it comes to the first date, as they search for the foot that will fit the glass slipper, they are just as nervous as you are. In fact, they are usually more so. Why? Because they are typically in charge of planning the date, choosing the meeting place, driving to meet you, and hoping they look good and will impress you. I asked the Bull Pen of men on my new TV talk show, Troubleshooting Men, What in the World do they want? how hard it is for a guy to meet a new woman. The answer was a unanimous "It's REALLY hard! Men fear rejection more than women do." They went on to talk about being sized up by a female and the need to impress her.

"We wonder if you will like the restaurant we picked out, or what we're wearing, or our haircut, or our cologne, and most of all, our conversation, wit, and accomplishments," said several men on the survey. "We realize women are anxious to put their best foot forward as well, but the guy usually sets up the first date and he puts a lot of thought into where, when and the whole package. Women would be surprised how many guys go out and buy new clothes, a haircut, etc. for that first date."

After all that preparation, what are men hoping will happen on the first date? Both the men in the Bull Pen and the 2,000 gentlemen from my survey all chimed in with "FUN!" They wanted the night to be fun. They wanted to laugh, feel engaged in the conversation, be surprised by her, intrigued and wanting to know more. They wanted to leave work and other worries behind and just remember what it feels like to be a guy feeling those incomparable feelings of romance and laughter.

"Too many women are too serious on a first date," many men commented. "They talk about work and hardships, or they don't relax and smile. They are too busy fussing with their hair and wondering if we think they are pretty. The girl that just enjoys herself, laughs at my jokes, drops hints of a great life she has where she fills her days with cool hobbies and friends, gives us a glimpse of a life we might want to join. No guy wants to sign up for a life of negativity and someone who is hoping you will provide a life for her. What happened to fun?"

So, there you have it. A first date is nervous for everyone, but try to relax, focus on him, thank him for the trouble he went to, to put the date together and choose a place he hoped you would like, laugh, be engaged in the conversation, ask him questions and leave some mystery so that he wants to come back and learn more. Above all, no complaining or negativity! Have FUN!

Make it sparkle!

As for me it turns out like Jumia package. Not what I was expecting after seeing her. Why women use filter on social media to deceive men is another subject of discussion. Nice topic by the way

Holly Gram real matters on top real MATTERZ..



WTF MAN

First date in guy's house?

That's where so many people have been getting things wrong. First date should be at a neutral place where there won't be any distraction.

Do average Nigerians even understand what first date means, some people wouldn't mind to press their phone all through when meeting someone for the first time

helinues:
First date in guy's house?

That's where so many people have been getting things wrong. First date should be at a neutral place where there won't be any distraction.

Do average Nigerians even understand what first date means, some people wouldn't mind to press their phone all through when meeting someone for the first time

at the cemetery na


First dates should be in my house, bedroom specifically. I'm dead tired of waiting for ladies, it's like their culture to waste time. But in my house, as far as say my PS4 go dey when I'm done arranging you can come whatever time you like.


PS- We no go Bleep o

Great write up..na so one boy here dey tell me say if she come over to the location and that she is gonna pay for anything she eats and get for herself...and I was like whats wrong with this baby boy?

Most Nigerian boys don't understand what it means to take a woman out on a date tho..
When it comes to romance 0/100..

BABYharder:
at the cemetery na


First dates should be in my house, bedroom specifically. I'm dead tired of waiting for ladies, it's like their culture to waste time. But in my house, as far as say my PS4 go dey when I'm done arranging you can come whatever time you like.


PS- We no go Bleep o

Do you really understand what a first date really mean?
You are meeting or getting to know a lady for the first time and probably something might work you are here saying at your house..

Dey there dey deceive yourself..

FERNANDEZISBACK:

Do you really understand what a first date really mean?
You are meeting or getting to know a lady for the first time and probably something might work you are here saying at your house..

Dey there dey deceive yourself..

If she can't come to my place she should forgerit. Personally, I'm done with eateries or restaurant kinda dates. Would have opt for fun or interesting places other than restaurants but it seems no girl wanna cite see on first date, they wanna eat hence, I'll cook at home and she'll be my guest.
Cetarus paribus or whatever they call it

BABYharder:

If she can't come to my place she should forgerit. Personally, I'm done with eateries or restaurant kinda date. Would have opt for fun or interesting places other than restaurants but it seems no girl wanna cite see on first date, they wanna eat hence, I'll cook at home and she'll be my guest.
Cetarus paribus or whatever they call it

She might be scared of you hurting her na..haba at least not at home that's quite absurd.. first time first impression..

FERNANDEZISBACK:

She might be scared of you hurting her na..haba at least not at home that's quite absurd.. first time first impression..

Yes o. She should learn how to trust who she's dealing with
Ahbi i ask am out the first day i see am?
Well considering the country we dey and to be Fair, we can still go on with the date at her place

BABYharder:

Yes o. She should learn how to trust who she's dealing with
Ahbi i ask am out the first day i see am?
Well considering the country we dey and to be Fair, we can still go on with the date at her place

At her place is still not
Well since you gat a clear mindset good..

FERNANDEZISBACK:

At her place is still not ..

And where was it written that first dates shouldn't be at residency?
Forget matter o, for area that oyibo culture na wash o, na only men on suit dey do that kind formalities. e get as things go dey, i go carry her go palm wine joint, we go drink and talk tire. Everyone will just go home happily.

BABYharder:

And where was it written that first dates shouldn't be at residency?
Forget matter o, for area that oyibo culture na wash o, na only men on suit dey do that kind formalities. e get as things go dey, i go carry her go palm wine joint, we go drink and talk tire. Everyone will just go home happily.

You have a big point..you must be good at pleasing women..

FERNANDEZISBACK:

You have a big point..you must be good at pleasing women..

Yes o, please bannies wey dey please us

BABYharder:

Yes o, please bannies wey dey please us

Good vibes.. enjoy yourself..