I think it is important to take away sentiments and emotions when analyzing such issues especially when it comes to Marriage and Up-bringing. You are right to assume that coming from a broken home affects the female-child in a negative way, what you cannot determine is whether the girl-child has risen above her parental difficulties to become  strong, independent-willed woman. there are many women from broken homes holding up well in successful marriages and training their children with the benefit of hindsight - There are lots of news about women from good homes and stable families who have turned out horribly wrong.

It is all dependent on the individual, you can let a broken home affect  your psychology to the point that it becomes detrimental or you can rise above the trauma and be somebody.

Being good has to do with individual. a hawk can make a good wife and pastor's child turn to a bad wife. it has to do with the person not broken homes.

No, its not true, at least not completely.

What are the reasons for the girl's broken home?

Who did the girl live with after the break up?

What is the present lifestyle of the parent she lived with?

Regarding your relationship with the girl, what are the parent's opinions?

Does the girl confidently take decisions or does she always have to call either of her parents for advice?

Is the girl rational enough for you?

If she has siblings, what is their relationship with her like?

Has she had other relationships before? If yes, find out what led to the break up.


These are a few guide questions to help you take a decision about marrying such a girl.

Remember, there are female devils who come from a stable home, so the stability or otherwise of the home she comes from should not be the issue here.

dammytosh:

Yes, I think mostly true but not always true.

The factors are simple, A girl from a stable home is afraid to go back home with her luggage that i am done with that useless husband because she knows her mother and father will likely not agree and allow her disgrace them.

But for a child from a broken home, the mother can quickly say, "welcome my dear, i told u all men are the same"

A yoruba adage says that it is better to have a bad wife than a bad in-law.

I believe everything is by conscious effort and God's grace all the same.

-My Opinion.

Sadly so

By fair judgement, it is not true that ladies from broken homes are not a good wife material. A lot of factors are involved before homes are broken. The bible tell us that "till death do you part" but today things have changed. Many marry for reasons; patience of the partner, wealth and riches of the partner, academic differences of one partner, fear of the future, social factors, environmental factors, dedicated and hardworking nature of one partner etc. If you consider all these factors as an agglomeration of expected future plans before marriage (during courtship or relationship before marriage) and the expectation of one of the party as earlier estimated and calculated especially with the level of our dwindling economy coupled with poverty, fights, quarells, between husband and wife could arise therin and could therefore lead to a broken home (I mean differential expectations), hence, it is not true that ladies from broken homes are not a good wife. Remember no one is perfect not to have faults that could cause a broken home but the ability of husbands and wives to understand the drive. Get married and be patient with your partner, endure each other escapades if you truly love. You cannot adjudged this topic until you are equally married because I am.

broken home or unbroken home, it depend on d lady in question not all ladies are d same, so guy shine ur eyes nd look for the Godly ones among them, above all comit every relationship in Gods hand.

it is not always true but she has the seed in her.

chika98:

So because she comes from a broken home she's not good enough for marriage?
When will people lose this type of mentality?

she's more likely to have issues. every individual is a product of his/her environment. no child raised from a broken home will be grounded as the one raised from a steady home where father/mother figure is present. personally, i wouldn't marry any woman from a broken home. of course, there will be an exception to every rule but i won't even take such risks to see if she will be affected by her background or not. it's too steep a price to pay if she turns out a bad wife material. . .

coogar:

she's more likely to have issues. every individual is a product of his/her environment. no child raised from a broken home will be grounded as the one raised from a steady home where father/mother figure is present. personally, i wouldn't marry any woman from a broken home. of course, there will be an exception to every rule but i won't even take such risks to see if she will be affected by her background or not. it's too steep a price to pay if she turns out a bad wife material. . .

Right! Now have you ever thought about the woman who comes from a "stable" home but is nothing to write home about?
Who saw her parents degrade and shout at each other every chance they got? Who never saw her parents show each other love?
They just stayed together for the sake of the children. Thought about that too?

They come with excess baggage.

it's actually getting, or going to get, harder to find people who arent from broken homes, imo.

so, just make do with what you see, as happens in the west.

in certain generations, divorce was rare. In other generations, divorce is the norm.

things like these are why people need christ.

as per the op's question, well, i dont know. Maybe, maybe not.

but being from a broken home automatically puts an albatross around your neck if you're nigerian. If you're not, it isnt a big deal.

however, some people from broken homes do indeed break up their own marriages. But then some people from unbroken homes also do the same.

so, personally, i find it hard to tell.

We can't control most of the things that happens to us in life but we can sure control our responses to them. A lady from a broken home probably couldn't help her situation then but she sure can handle how she reacts to it and how much of it she'll take to her marriage. In essence, it solely depends on the lady and partly on the husband to make things work. Besides, it doesn't really matter which background a babe comes from, it takes two to tangle, a lot lies with the man too.

i'm not sure if a broken home is worse than a polygamous one where everybody is trying to destroy each other with juju, but some seem to think it is.

they could be right, who knows.

or a home where adultery is the order of the day.

i think the broken here implies a broken covenant or contract, a factor which isnt really present in the same way, in the other examples even when cheating is clearly involved.

anyway, all this one pass my knowledge.

How about those from dysfunctional homes - there are a lot more of those than those from "broken" homes.

Is it true that ladies from dysfunctional homes are not good wife material?

@0p  
OFCOURSE! NO DOUBT ABOUT IT!!
infact 99.9 percent can never ever make a good wife! thats why in some tribe like mine,the man parent asks of the bride parent character.  also cant you see how akata parents behave(do their daughter worth marrying), 
if im to marry and the girl inspite been good to me once tell me how broken their family are! without a second thought she should find her way,

the answer is YES, believe me

Toaskarity:

@0p
OFCOURSE! NO DOUBT ABOUT IT!!
infact 99.9 percent can never ever make a good wife! thats why in some tribe like mine,parent asks of the in-law parent character! and also cant you see how akata parents behave(do their daughter worth marrying),
if im to marry and the girl inspite been good to me once tell me how broken their family are! without second thought she should find her way,

you may be right but dont let that prevent you from improving your english.

chika98:

Right! Now have you ever thought about the woman who comes from a "stable" home but is nothing to write home about?
Who saw her parents degrade and shout at each other every chance they got? Who never saw her parents show each other love?
They just stayed together for the sake of the children. Thought about that too?

but the fact this woman saw her parents sticking it through thick and thin is a plus. she won't be too hasty to pack out of the house when she eventually marries because she was not brought up that way. a woman raised from a broken home has more tendency to be impatient and the moment the storm comes, she runs for her dear life because that was what she saw her mum doing when she was young.

ladies from broken homes mostly have issues especially trust issues when their partner is concerned. it has been indoctrinated in their mentality that the men folk can never be trusted. they mostly get extra defensive in relationships, they are mostly self-centred and it's like they always half-expect their male partners to screw up to prove the myth that "all men are dogs".

^^true.

some women do have a tendency to think all men are dogs, based on their previous interactions with men.

as per men screwing up, i think the test here is if the woman will stay if or when the man screws up, and what her attitude will be towards infidelity and the like.

take the maria shriver case for example- i guess most women from broken homes wouldnt have stayed with arnold that long.

i suppose.

coogar:

but the fact this woman saw her parents sticking it through thick and thin is a plus. she won't be too hasty to pack out of the house when she eventually marries because she was not brought up that way. a woman raised from a broken home has more tendency to be impatient and the moment the storm comes, she runs for her dear life because that was what she saw her mum doing when she was young.

ladies from broken homes mostly have issues especially trust issues when their partner is concerned. it has been indoctrinated in their mentality that the men folk can never be trusted. they mostly get extra defensive in relationships, they are mostly self-centred and it's like they always half-expect their male partners to screw up to prove the myth that "all men are dogs".

Hahaaaaha haaaa so narraw minded. Whatever rocks your boat

^^one cant really dismiss the fears or stereotypes about people from broken homes, since many of them do indeed ring true.

i used to think it doesnt matter, but not anymore.

the percentage however, is what i dont know.

anyway, thank God for Christ.

Mr Poster, why are you trying to dump that babe because she is from a broken home, the other one you are liking from a united home can as well not be a  good wife material

chika98:

Hahaaaaha haaaa so narraw minded. Whatever rocks your boat

i will know better. . . .i date women.
and contrary to what you or other women think, men compare notes of their partners. they analyze, compute data and all these things become clearer to men. narrow-minded? because i don't share your view? you got a lot to learn!

tpia@:

^^one cant really dismiss the fears or stereotypes about people from broken homes, since many of them do indeed ring true.

i used to think it doesnt matter, but not anymore.

the percentage however, is what i dont know.

anyway, thank God for Christ.

Yeah go'head and join him in that boat. Like I said whatever rocks it and cool.

I think it is the person's personality that you have to look into. Just the fact that one is from a broken home does not mean the person should be stereotyped. Broken homes do affect the children both negatively and positively. Some influential people in our society today are what they are because they came from a broken home and had to start fending and surviving on their own from a tender age while others turned out bad because they did not have the nurturing they were supposed to get also at a tender age. People are what they make of themselves, please do not judge someone by his/her background but on their own merit.

coogar:

i will know better. . . .i date women.
and contrary to what you or other women think, men compare notes of their partners. they analyze, compute data and all these things become clearer to men. narrow-minded? because i don't share your view? you got a lot to learn!

*Jumps rope nearby*

chika98:

Yeah go'head and join him in that boat. Like I said whatever rocks it and cool.

believe me, i'm not joining him anywhere but just acknowledging that sometimes the fears are justified. Not always however.

it's ok to have some knowledge of what you're getting into in marriage, and how someone's background could influence their behaviour when married.

it's up to the people involved how they're going to handle this knowledge, and how it will affect their feelings for their potential partner.

i wouldnt advise someone who isnt comfortable with the idea of dating a person from a broken home, to go ahead and do it anyway. People should stick with whatever they think they can handle, or what they're comfortable with.

it doesnt mean people from broken homes wont get partners or will not find love.

however, we also shouldnt have the notion that coming from a broken home automatically makes the person an angel. This isnt always true, though i think many people from broken homes do take their relationships very seriously. And they're sort of disadvantaged to begin with, as a matter of fact. Society is very unforgiving.

coogar:

but the fact this woman saw her parents sticking it through thick and thin is a plus. she won't be too hasty to pack out of the house when she eventually marries because she was not brought up that way. a woman raised from a broken home has more tendency to be impatient and the moment the storm comes, she runs for her dear life because that was what she saw her mum doing when she was young.

ladies from broken homes mostly have issues especially trust issues when their partner is concerned. it has been indoctrinated in their mentality that the men folk can never be trusted. they mostly get extra defensive in relationships, they are mostly self-centred and it's like they always half-expect their male partners to screw up to prove the myth that "all men are dogs".

True they tend to very impatient and too independent.

Those ladies feels they do not need to sacrifice for any relationship since their parent didn't sacrifice.

tpia@:

believe me, i'm not joining him anywhere but just acknowledging that sometimes the fears are justified. Not always however.

it's ok to have some knowledge of what you're getting into in marriage, and how someone's background could influence their behaviour when married.

it's up to the people involved how they're going to handle this knowledge, and how it will affect their feelings for their potential partner.

i wouldnt advise someone who isnt comfortable with the idea of dating a person from a broken home, to go ahead and do it anyway. People should stick with whatever they think they can handle, or what they're comfortable with.

it doesnt mean people from broken homes wont get partners.

That's cool. No problem with that at all.

I agree with that notion cos in most cases we individuals are formed from our experiences growin up.

There is a reason why studies show that Children of single mothers have a higer probability of being single mothers and Children from broken homes have a higher tendency of divorce . Surely there would be exceptions but Its worth putting it in mind.

If I see a girl whose mother hops from one mans house to another, and has done about 5 men in her lifetime, I would be cautious about marrying her.

emmatok:

True they tend to very impatient and too independent.

Those ladies feels they do not need to sacrifice for any relationship since their parent didn't sacrifice.

and they don't give second chances. they are not compassionate and they're merciless!

Toaskarity:

@0p  
OFCOURSE! NO DOUBT ABOUT IT!!
infact 99.9 percent can never ever make a good wife! thats why in some tribe like mine,parent asks of the in-law parent character!   and also cant you see how akata parents behave(do their daughter worth marrying),
if im to marry and the girl inspite been good to me once tell me how broken their family are! without second thought she should find her way,

After reading a lot of your posts, any girl that you tell to find her way is a fcking lucky girl.

She needs to give 80% of her earnings as tithe for that month.