common guys, most you classify every body? Broken home, outside wedlock, name it does not determine who you are though it could contribute to it. Ask yourself how many marriages work these days? even if both couples are from prefect homes, its no guaranty dat it will work. We all go into marriage hoping for the best. Good luck to the singles n to d married hows it going?

coogar:

but the fact this woman saw her parents sticking it through thick and thin is a plus. she won't be too hasty to pack out of the house when she eventually marries because she was not brought up that way. a woman raised from a broken home has more tendency to be impatient and the moment the storm comes, she runs for her dear life because that was what she saw her mum doing when she was young.

ladies from broken homes mostly have issues especially trust issues when their partner is concerned. it has been indoctrinated in their mentality that the men folk can never be trusted. they mostly get extra defensive in relationships, they are mostly self-centred and it's like they always half-expect their male partners to screw up to prove the myth that "all men are dogs".

Wrong at bold, take it from me.  She's less likely to hang in there BECAUSE of what she saw her parents go through.  No one would want to repeat that kind of unhappiness when they've seen it first hand.

It depends on what you consider "good wife material". Yes, a lady from a broken home appears more likely to be truthful about a relationship and to leave if it is getting dangerous. While a lady from a "normal" home is more likely to continue bearing malice and making the man's life hell and may even proceed to kill him  instead of getting divorce.
Which one do you prefer , killer or quitter ? Also a lady from a broken home might be more conscious of what can break a marriage and could therefore strive to prevent it happening. The other lady will be too confident that "nothing can happen" and so continue to torment the man on that basis (just like her mother did to her father and got away with it)

flakkygirl:

common guys, most you classify every body? Broken home, outside wedlock, name it does not determine who you are though it could contribute to it. Ask yourself how many marriages work these days? even if both couples are from prefect homes, its no guaranty dat it will work. We all go into marriage hoping for the best. Good luck to the singles n to d married hows it going?

Yes, women have to be classified.  It plays into justifying someone's small mindedness about women. 

flakkygirl:

common guys, most you classify every body? Broken home, outside wedlock, name it does not determine who you are though it could contribute to it. Ask yourself how many marriages work these days? even if both couples are from prefect homes, its no guaranty dat it will work. We all go into marriage hoping for the best. Good luck to the singles n to d married hows it going?

With human beings there are no guarantees but it still doesnt mean you should ignore omnious signals

N101:

Wrong at bold, take it from me.  She's less likely to hang in there BECAUSE of what she saw her parents go through.  No one would want to repeat that kind of unhappiness when they've seen it first hand.

A girl whose parents never divorced, if she says she want to divorce, who would she go and meet? She would first ask herself how she would tell her parents that she wants to move out

@yusus,being married or single has got nutin,absolutely nutin to do wt ones attitude either in marriage or any relationship.people's experiences from different homes and their ability to handle situation couple with YOU(iwo gangan) is d mata, wo ma soro ju

N101:

Wrong at bold, take it from me.  She's less likely to hang in there BECAUSE of what she saw her parents go through.  No one would want to repeat that kind of unhappiness when they've seen it first hand.

she will hang in there. her mother will remind her constantly that marriage isn't a bed of roses and she must stick with what she's got. the parents will even go as far as telling their daughter not to drag the family name in the mud.

i do not know but my dad has not only advised his sons but has made it a warning for us not to marry a lady from a broken/polygamous home. for my friend, his dad says if he must marry a broken home or polygamous one, he must marry from the first wife.

we are still yet to find out the reason.

I noticed that many women in America raised without a father in the home (i.e by single mothers) have extreme difficulty cohabiting with a man. This is NOT necessarily true in Nigeria. So i only speak for sisters who were raised by a mother who always had men in and out of her life in America.

Their concept of a real man is usually warped and distorted perhaps from their mom's boyfriends . They are the uber independent and "I don't need no man" type of women.  You will do better staying away!

Personal experience, it is not true.

the reason people believe this is because of a pattern the lady is used to that the the troubles she used to in the home. Infact if a lady is not careful she will have the same pattern her parents had in marriage. It takes the determination of the lady, the ability of the lady to build her self up maritally and prayer

tpia@:

you may be right but dont let that prevent you from improving your english.

prof,  can you help me in my sentence please
your type always eager/quick to click on the quote as soon as a room for insult appears. before i modify my word you have already quote me! sorry for ur life.

Not really true but like they say, like mother like daughter and there are a few others that want better

@OP
Your past should not determine your present or your future. Just because one is from a broken home, does not mean they are not a good wife material.

@ precipi1, i think you got it rite.women see their old man in their hussy.i've been for sometime now to make my wife trust that the fact her dad is randy and unfaithful to her mum does not make me same.
@op, its subjective in d sense that not all women from disfunctioned home makes terrible wiffy. just pray you get your rib/wife.

Toaskarity:

prof, can you help me in my sentence please
your type always eager/quick to click on the quote as soon as a room for insult appears. before i modify my word you have already quote me! sorry for your life.

sorry oh!!!


just giving you a heads up because you seem more concerned about things unrelated to your questionable command of english.

i'd have thought this would take precedence over chasing away any broken home product who you caught eyeing you for marriage.

dayokanu:

A girl whose parents never divorced, if she says she want to divorce, who would she go and meet? She would first ask herself how she would tell her parents that she wants to move out

A girl whose parents never divorced but argue and fight all the time and are rarely/barely happy.  If she told them she wanted to divorce they have no moral position to tell her she is wrong.  

Just because they stayed unhappily together she should be grateful for their "example"? smh

coogar:

she will hang in there. her mother will remind her constantly that marriage isn't a bed of roses and she must stick with what she's got. the parents will even go as far as telling their daughter not to drag the family name in the mud.

She may let her mother tell her whatever she likes and still make contingency plans.  The "shame" of divorce nowadays is not as much of a stigma as it used to be.  Unless you live in the village.

The thing that you forget is that those of us who have seen these things will do our best to avoid them, especially if you are a good observer of people.  Which is why I refuse to believe that everyone from a broken home will break their own home. I've seen loads of relationships to the contrary.

Sagamite:

Not necessarily, it is just more likely than one from a more stable home. It also depends on the experience in the broken home in my opinion.

If she suffered tremendously emotionally or financially in the broken home, she might be more likely to try and keep a steady home of hers.

If she grew up with a mother that wore a single-mother-badge-of-honour saying "women can do it on their own" and the mother was able to cater for the kids all by herself, the risk is quite high. It is likely the child might think single motherhood is not a big deal (or even a sign of strength/female empowerment) and will be more willing to rock the boat.

That first part is the intent.

The second problem is the knowledge. Someone that has not grown up seeing a functioning male-female relationship is more likely to struggle to create one of her own.

That said, personalities counts a lot, and she might just be right and alright.

+1

More balanced response.

In my humble opinion and based on statistics the answer is a resounding yes.

Now having said that I'll refer you to a saying in my native tongue, "Ti Eniyan Banba Esu Jeun, Oni Lati Lo SIbi Togun".

So if you do marry one then be prepared for any eventuality.

Nope not true and not even close, would you say men from broken homes make "bad fathers", .
Of course not,rather I would say the opposite as having strife would make for a spouse who absolutely hates that kind of situation and does their utmost to avoid it in their marriage.

I talk from experience, it is True in some sense. For a lady like that, you will have to do a lot of reorientation to help her come to terms with the fact that she is in a new family with you now not the old one with her parents. They seem to remember and compare you with their dad in the case of a lady that has had an unfair father. You will have to exercise patience and love to help her heal or you both will get burnt.

idk

In fact on the contrary, ladies from broken homes have a better tendency to make better wives especially in Nigeria. Just like children from poor homes have a better tendency to be good financial managers.

They have suffered the pains of not being with both their parents. They have seen their friends from stable homes. They lived their lives wishing to have stable homes. They learnt the hard way what stable homes can provide to the psyche of children. They swore that they would do everything possible not to repeat the mistakes of their parents.

Children from stable homes are more likely to take too many things for granted. They are more likely to grow up not understanding the amount of sacrifice needed to keep a home together. Most people commenting so far are only doing so because in Nigeria, we have been conditioned to believe in the superstitions of ancient times. In Europe, America and other developed countries where divorce is very common, ask this same question and you will see a different class of opinions from respondents.

At the end of the day, it boils down to the individual and not the background of the individual per se! Too many things will come to play.

Arsenal is better than Man U!

Does this argument hold any sense? Depending on what your bias is, you can always make a case either for or against the above statement.

Eba is sweeter than amala! Depending on what you prefer, you can argue for or against.

Children whose parents did not beat them can never make good fathers! What nonsense! My parents never, ever, beat me, I am 34 presently with 4 kids, and I can boast of being one of the best Nigerian dads ever to pass through this world.

Some of my uncles and aunts once told me that Edo girls are all prostitutes and never make good wives! I married from Edo state, and she is from a double broken home, she did not even know her father until she was 21 years old, yet she remains a blessing and an angel to me. I am from not from Edo state.

I read some posts above and people were saying, "the girl is likely to follow her mother's footsteps and break her own home". For your information, men cause 85% of broken homes, either directly or indirectly. The girl's mother might have been an angel which her father never appreciated due to, say, drunkenness, womanising, gambling and all what not. Does it mean that her mother, having divorced the father for such irresponsible behaviours after enduring it for many years, will not be able to bring her children up properly to be good, godly and fit for marriage? No!

Guys, read my earlier post on this issue, there are things you look out for in a lady you intend to marry, and her coming from a broken home or not is certainly not one of them.

Yoruba girls are dirty, so don't marry them.
Ibo girls will finish your money, so don't marry them.
Calabar and Edo girls are promiscous, so don't marry them.
Ebira and igala girls will use juju on you so don't marry them.
Hausa girls will train their children to be bokoharamists so don't marry them.
Port harcourt girls will kill you to inherit your property, so don't marry them.
etc etc etc!!

Absolute nonsense, all these statements. Whatever characteristics you see in any lady from one tribe, you will get thousands from another tribe with such habits as well.

For as many girls who come from broken homes that make bad wives, you will see just as many from stable homes who are bad too!

End of discussion!

I really dont think it is true, It all just depends on the individual.

Ermmm. . . . .a very rhetorical question. in most cases, it is not the broken home alone that influences the child, many factors are usually involved. Lets not forget that everyone has got issues of their own as well. . . . plus including and not excluding the angels (girls from stable homes).

Below are cases of different people i know, their family status and mentality towards marriage

Case 1: a young lady with a mother and father, married for over 24yrs who had serious issues as a child, told the parents but nothing was done to protect her. . . .i tell u this, she is psychologically and emotionally damaged and i know but hey, shes from a stable home so a good wife material isnt it? lets not forget the fact that she's always wondering how one can live with anoda human being for over 20yrs? (her words not mine). she does not understand y people marry or commit to each other


Case 2: a young lady whose father never had a real interest in her until after her teenage years, brought up by mum, hates her father but nt men in general, very adamant to keeping hold of her man with the mentality that the man will have to use his hands to pack her things out of the house before she leaves her hubby's house. . . .no matter wat happens (as long as he's nt a criminal and or a murderer)

Case 3: young lady whose dad decided to become useless, parents nt together but not divorced. her mentality towards men and marriage is to take her time to look for ''the one'' before getting married even if dat means getting into her late 30's and above.

Case 4: girl from a stable home (to outsiders ofcos) whose father takes joy in battering the mum whenever he want. her opinion on men and marriage is quite normal


Bottom line is, we all come with different baggage(s) and the way these baggages affects us depends on US . . . amongst other contributing factors.

i dont think i've ever done as much nitpicking as i see on nl, over who to date.

i leave that level of concern, to nosy relatives- not saying it's not necessary though.

but, to each his own.

just dont force yourself to date anyone you're not comfortable with, and dont be stalking them either since it's really not your business.

Live and let live.

everyone or every family cant be perfect.

stick with the family background you approve of and let others be.

allanohize:

End of discussion!

Atlas a few sensible people exist on this forum still. Well said!

There are no shortcuts to finding good wife/husband material.

Someone from a broken home may be more likely to run at the sign of trouble.
Someone from a broken home may be more likely to stick it out because they don't want their children to suffer.

Someone from a stable home may be more likely to stick it out in times of trouble.
Someone from a stable home may be more likely to run because they don't understand the impact it may have on their children.

You have to study the person. Their words, personal beliefs, actions, reactions, friends, ect. And just pray that you are being guided in the right direction.