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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Is It True That Ladies From Broken Homes Are Not A Good Wife Material? (18980 Views)
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Re: Is It True That Ladies From Broken Homes Are Not A Good Wife Material? by tpia5: 5:48am On Jun 29, 2011 |
prayer is key really. dont know what else to say because in life there are no guarantees. |
Re: Is It True That Ladies From Broken Homes Are Not A Good Wife Material? by lagcity(m): 7:01am On Jun 29, 2011 |
In Africa, extended family influence on marriages is quite strong. It's kinda hard for a woman to throw her hands up and say "i'm done" when her own parents are still married after 40 years. Her parents would most likely tell her to try harder and stop giving excuses. If divorced parents try to lecture and encourage their daughter to fight for her marriage, the daughter would ask "and how did that work out for you two?" |
Re: Is It True That Ladies From Broken Homes Are Not A Good Wife Material? by shade(f): 7:23am On Jun 29, 2011 |
Dont know about the female angle,but married to a guy 4rm a dysfunctional home and its been three years of constant quarrellings and unwarranted malice. In my opinion a person's family history has great impact on his future. |
Re: Is It True That Ladies From Broken Homes Are Not A Good Wife Material? by ogospec(f): 10:01am On Jun 29, 2011 |
YOU MAY BE CORRECT INDIRECTLY, BUT WHY LADIES, BOTH ARE NOT SUITABLE OR MATURED FOR THE INSTITUTION OF MARRIAGE, YOU MAY BLAMHE THE WOMAN BECAUSE NATURALLY GOD ENDOWED LADIES WITH CORDINATING ABILITY. ON THE CONTRARY WHEN YOU DONT SHOW LOVE TO YOUR WIFE SHE MAY FIND IT DIFFICULT TO SUBMIT SO WHY THE COMPLAIN |
Re: Is It True That Ladies From Broken Homes Are Not A Good Wife Material? by godunia(m): 10:10am On Jun 29, 2011 |
If yr wife or husband is from a broken home background and yr marriage is working,thank God u are simply among d 20% |
Re: Is It True That Ladies From Broken Homes Are Not A Good Wife Material? by duno: 10:50am On Jun 29, 2011 |
allanohize: BEST POST. END OF DISCUSSION |
Re: Is It True That Ladies From Broken Homes Are Not A Good Wife Material? by Nobody: 1:38pm On Jun 29, 2011 |
I think the question should be are ladies from broken homes more likely to get divorced or have troubled marriages and the answer is yes. The first marriage we all know and 80% of what we know about marriage is what we saw from our parents marriage. Unfortunately, if this ended badly then there may be a problem. Some ladies just dont know what a happy home should be and may over-react to just about anything. This is because they come into marriage with a view that the dont want whatever happened to their mother to happen to them, and they may get extra defensive. It takes the grace of God to overcome this and this may be a familiar spirit for some. To summarize, it is clearly a disadvantage. |
Re: Is It True That Ladies From Broken Homes Are Not A Good Wife Material? by yusus: 1:41pm On Jun 29, 2011 |
@Nashville , yes i agree with you true talk |
Re: Is It True That Ladies From Broken Homes Are Not A Good Wife Material? by Tsun(f): 1:44pm On Jun 29, 2011 |
It doesn't work that way. i have an elder brother who married a lady from a broken home, i can beat my chest and say out of the five sister-in-laws we have at home, she's the best, though all are nice to us but this particular lady, has a heart of gold. |
Re: Is It True That Ladies From Broken Homes Are Not A Good Wife Material? by yusus: 1:56pm On Jun 29, 2011 |
that was because she has learnt a lesson from her parent's past mistake while some women are adamant, having low mentality and refused to learn a lesson or take correction, i can do it alone mentality , i can survive without you in my life mentality, Thank God for your brother's wife that she learnt a lesson 1 Like |
Re: Is It True That Ladies From Broken Homes Are Not A Good Wife Material? by otokx(m): 3:10pm On Jun 29, 2011 |
Not necessarily |
Re: Is It True That Ladies From Broken Homes Are Not A Good Wife Material? by Koolking(m): 3:33pm On Jun 29, 2011 |
I don't subscribe to this. good and bad are choices. They are not necessarily the direct result of influences [broken and unbroken homes]. |
Re: Is It True That Ladies From Broken Homes Are Not A Good Wife Material? by fumisko(f): 3:34pm On Jun 29, 2011 |
ye most atyms. i wouldnt marry a man from a broken home either |
Re: Is It True That Ladies From Broken Homes Are Not A Good Wife Material? by 2mch(m): 4:04pm On Jun 29, 2011 |
yep, i think so. A spouse from a stable and balanced home is more ideal. Do proper investigations before marriage and the problems that may come up in marriage will be easier to solve. This also applies to men, not only the women. A woman whose mother was chased from her home for infidelity is much more likely to repeat her mother's mistakes. These mothers are also much more likely to come and interfere in your marriage. They hardly understand the consequences of their destructive behavior. Likewise a man that has seen his father beat, cheat on or insult his mother is more likely to repeat the same behavior. misery needs company. 1 Like |
Re: Is It True That Ladies From Broken Homes Are Not A Good Wife Material? by chines4(m): 4:10pm On Jun 29, 2011 |
Sins of the parents will not affect the kids. Igbo's will tell you, that before you marry try and find out how your will be mother-in-law behaves, that that will be the u'r spouses behaviors, But we all know that its is not true. Just know u'r partner and how committed he/she is. |
Re: Is It True That Ladies From Broken Homes Are Not A Good Wife Material? by Fhemmmy: 4:36pm On Jun 29, 2011 |
^^^ Na wa oh |
Re: Is It True That Ladies From Broken Homes Are Not A Good Wife Material? by queensmith: 2:32am On Jun 30, 2011 |
No- depends on the individual. There is no A-Z on a good marriage. So just because your parents were together 100yrs of broke up 2years later never means you will have the same fate + if you come from a broken home your most likely to understand the traits to avoid in a partner of have a better indication of the type of person you shouldnt marry from past experience. Those from different types of families tend to start relationships and move on relatively earlier Even if one came from a broken home mosy of the time the parents did not so the theory is complete BS. |
Re: Is It True That Ladies From Broken Homes Are Not A Good Wife Material? by queensmith: 2:38am On Jun 30, 2011 |
allanohize: GBAM! |
Re: Is It True That Ladies From Broken Homes Are Not A Good Wife Material? by tpia5: 2:48am On Jun 30, 2011 |
People should stick with whatever they feel is right for them because its quite pointless trying to dispel or defend some of these mindsets. Not enough hours in the day. |
Re: Is It True That Ladies From Broken Homes Are Not A Good Wife Material? by wazobiang: 10:15am On Jun 30, 2011 |
life's copy cat and you can only copy what you know. Copy dat. But you always have a choice not to copy and I know of so many dat decided not just to copy but to despise and work against their suffering as people from broken homes. |
Re: Is It True That Ladies From Broken Homes Are Not A Good Wife Material? by Patnoble: 12:42pm On Jul 01, 2011 |
yes,but not all.There some ladies that the situation of the family made them who they are today but not that they cant make good home,but there some that they naturally have that bad attitude in them that you cant even change and when you try to change,they make you look like a fool,those are the kind of people that cannot be guaranted to be a good wife material, [color=#006600][/color] |
Re: Is It True That Ladies From Broken Homes Are Not A Good Wife Material? by Obelomo: 10:38am On Jul 02, 2011 |
[quot allanohize: |
Re: Is It True That Ladies From Broken Homes Are Not A Good Wife Material? by Yeye77(f): 7:02pm On Jul 07, 2011 |
Hmmm, i was able to experience it both ways to an extent. When we were growing up, my mum used to say we shouldn't mix with children from broken homes, that they have bad characters and aren't well brought up. Ironically my parents divorced when i was like 18 or 19. I dare anyone to tell my mom that her children aren't well brought up, bros my mama go finish u! However my parents had a very acrimonious marriage and i grew up in a household with almost no love and encouragement and lots of fighting!! We would sometimes be subtly forced to take sides and then be punished by the opposing parent for doing so. In our opinion, their divorce was like 8 years too late, cos it left all of us with truck loads of baggage, insecurities and issues!It is only after they divorced and actually quite recently that i began to deal with and overcome my issues which had hindered my relationships and progress. Until you experience it you can never understand how traumatizing it is to grow up in an unhappy household. Some of that shit scars you for life. I feel that people who say "stay cos of the kids", need to start really finding out what's best for those kids ooooo! I love my parents, but i can't help wishing they had really taken time out to they were not good for each other much earlier and saved us all the trauma! To some extent what influences my decisions towards marriage and relationships is based more on when my parents were together, than when they separated. I will never ever put any of my children through what i went through! Which to me means i have to think long and hard before i marry, cos i want to marry for life and raise my kids in a happy home. My point being , some women from 'unbroken" homes have just as many issues and are bad wife material. The woman who was stabbed to death recently by her husband, may have still been alive today if she had walked away. i read somewhere that she didn't leave 'cos she didn't want her daughter to come from a broken home'. Unfortunately now the girl doesn't even have a home in the true sense, mother dead, father , ! I can't say authoritatively whether or not ladies from broken homes make good wives, but i do believe that it depends on the individual, we are a result of our own individual choices. External events affect us as much as we choose to let them. However if you're not comfortable with marrying a lady from a broken home, by all means don't. At the end of the day it's what works for you. allanohize: 2 Likes |
Re: Is It True That Ladies From Broken Homes Are Not A Good Wife Material? by Blendy77(f): 6:16pm On Jul 08, 2011 |
It is not true and can never be true. Most children from broken homes or single parenthood are never happy to find themselves in such situation in the first place so following their mother or father's foot steps is out of it. As a girl from a broken home, u will even be more careful with ur marriage and try to do everything within ur means to make it work than someone who had all the love and care from a stable home because u don't want to be tag "like mother like daughter." I say this because i'm talking from experience. When I was about getting married my inlaws where skeptical about my background cos according to them I was different amongst the 7 daughters-in-law they had, (my hubby is actually the last son). Today after 5 years of marriage my home is what my parents inlaw use as examples to correct their other daugters-inlaw who were from "stable" homes. We even had a situation where one of the son's marriage almost broke up due to the Girl's mother (who is in her husband's house) advice that they should divorce if they are not happy together anymore. It was that bad! Three of my sis are hapily married and I have lots of friends and colleagues who are from broken homes and happily married. I know how many of my friend's marriage i have saved through advice and these are people who are from stable homes. I even think the divorce rate is higher with people from stable homes because they don't how it feels like unlike people from broken homes who have experienced it and will not want their kids to go thru that. So it doesnt follow. You should look at the person in question, does she have what u earnestly desire in a wife? Is she God fearing? If she meets other criteria but from a broken home, pls go ahead and marry her. Divorce is not genetic and can never be inherited! 1 Like |
Re: Is It True That Ladies From Broken Homes Are Not A Good Wife Material? by tpia5: 9:13pm On Jul 08, 2011 |
one of the son's marriage almost broke up due to the Girl's mother (who is in her husband's house) advice that they should divorce if they are not happy together anymore. It was that bad! i was also wondering at the people who insist married women would never advise their daughters to divorce their husbands. when it happens more often than not, i should think. of course i could be wrong? |
Re: Is It True That Ladies From Broken Homes Are Not A Good Wife Material? by Dblank(f): 1:01am On Jul 22, 2011 |
not at all |
Re: Is It True That Ladies From Broken Homes Are Not A Good Wife Material? by denny4ril: 9:01pm On Jul 23, 2011 |
upbringing differs and this is situational. It is not in all cases that ladies from broken homes are bad materials. Some have used their experience in a positive way as they do not want to be a victim of their childhood experience |
Re: Is It True That Ladies From Broken Homes Are Not A Good Wife Material? by Elpieda: 2:47pm On Jul 26, 2011 |
Dear Mr Allanohize, Any other comment after yours is pretty much irrelevant, Infact this thread should have been closed and sent to the recycle bin after your comment, God bless you for your words of wisdom and I hope people will learn from it and realize that marriage is a great risk, You can only reduce the odds of your marriage not folding up prematurely by getting help from the very ONE who created the institution of marriage and reading his 'manual' on "how to use" God bless us all |
Re: Is It True That Ladies From Broken Homes Are Not A Good Wife Material? by Johndoe100(m): 1:17pm On Jul 31, 2011 |
@OP It is very true. Women from broken homes should be avoided when it comes to marriage. They usually end up divorced or seperated themselves. |
Re: Is It True That Ladies From Broken Homes Are Not A Good Wife Material? by Goldieluks: 1:39pm On Jul 31, 2011 |
Am not from a broken home,but i don't think coming from a broken home should determine whether the marriage would last or not.i think it depends on individual, really. |
Re: Is It True That Ladies From Broken Homes Are Not A Good Wife Material? by omalicha2: 8:52pm On Jul 31, 2011 |
I am from a broken home but i do everything possible 2 make my marriage work. My mum always encourage me 2 be a good wife |
Re: Is It True That Ladies From Broken Homes Are Not A Good Wife Material? by tpia5: 9:21pm On Jul 31, 2011 |
^^i dont think you need to explain yourself to anybody. let everyone be convinced in their own minds. |
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