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Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? - Family (3) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? (41338 Views)

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Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by showafrica(m): 10:24am On Apr 15, 2022
cj1900:
Hi guys,
I won't take much of your time. I have a very delicate matter in my hands and I need diverse opinions please.

Background
I don't live in Nigeria but me and my wife both have a very comfortable 4 bedroom duplex in Nigeria. We have a one year old baby. I have been in Nigeria for 5 months now and I will be returning to UK in a few weeks.

Ever since I've been in Nigeria, my cousin (mid 30s) has been with us. Quite frankly, it is not very easy for him at the moment and i do care about him as a brother. He is in the process of processing his visa, so its not as if he is loafing about.

The plan is that both me and my wife will be taking turns in visiting each other for the next 2 or so years until I return fully to Nigeria.

The problem
The problem is that I do not feel comfortable leaving just him and my wife under thesame roof whilst I return and he is not showing any signs of leaving when I return to my base.

So, this is my situation and I don't know if I am being insensitive.

I married a very good wife and under most circumstances, I trust her. I am just not comfortable leaving my wife with any man atall under thesame roof.

I need your opinions pls.

Your instinct is right, tell your cousin that you will be traveling to Lagos or Abuja with your wife before leaving, so he has to go. Find him money to rent apartment somewhere. Your wife should be the one reminding you about leaving the cousin behind in the house unless you guys are like intimate brothers now. However, women are insensitive to this kind of trap

2 Likes

Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by MondayOsunbor(m): 10:24am On Apr 15, 2022
cj1900:
Hi guys,
I won't take much of your time. I have a very delicate matter in my hands and I need diverse opinions please.

Background
I don't live in Nigeria but me and my wife both have a very comfortable 4 bedroom duplex in Nigeria. We have a one year old baby. I have been in Nigeria for 5 months now and I will be returning to UK in a few weeks.

Ever since I've been in Nigeria, my cousin (mid 30s) has been with us. Quite frankly, it is not very easy for him at the moment and i do care about him as a brother. He is in the process of processing his visa, so its not as if he is loafing about.

The plan is that both me and my wife will be taking turns in visiting each other for the next 2 or so years until I return fully to Nigeria.

The problem
The problem is that I do not feel comfortable leaving just him and my wife under thesame roof whilst I return and he is not showing any signs of leaving when I return to my base.

So, this is my situation and I don't know if I am being insensitive.

I married a very good wife and under most circumstances, I trust her. I am just not comfortable leaving my wife with any man atall under thesame roof.

I need your opinions pls.

if you are yoruba NO
Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by drlateef: 10:24am On Apr 15, 2022
cj1900:
Hi guys,
I won't take much of your time. I have a very delicate matter in my hands and I need diverse opinions please.

Background
I don't live in Nigeria but me and my wife both have a very comfortable 4 bedroom duplex in Nigeria. We have a one year old baby. I have been in Nigeria for 5 months now and I will be returning to UK in a few weeks.

Ever since I've been in Nigeria, my cousin (mid 30s) has been with us. Quite frankly, it is not very easy for him at the moment and i do care about him as a brother. He is in the process of processing his visa, so its not as if he is loafing about.

The plan is that both me and my wife will be taking turns in visiting each other for the next 2 or so years until I return fully to Nigeria.

The problem
The problem is that I do not feel comfortable leaving just him and my wife under thesame roof whilst I return and he is not showing any signs of leaving when I return to my base.

So, this is my situation and I don't know if I am being insensitive.

I married a very good wife and under most circumstances, I trust her. I am just not comfortable leaving my wife with any man atall under thesame roof.

I need your opinions pls.



I will advise you never to do it. Satan is always lurking around the corner between your wife and him. Find another place for your cousin. You will regret it if you leave him in your house. Even if your wife reassures you don’t listen to her. You will thank me later.
Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by opera1(m): 10:24am On Apr 15, 2022
cj1900:
Hi guys,
I won't take much of your time. I have a very delicate matter in my hands and I need diverse opinions please.

Background
I don't live in Nigeria but me and my wife both have a very comfortable 4 bedroom duplex in Nigeria. We have a one year old baby. I have been in Nigeria for 5 months now and I will be returning to UK in a few weeks.

Ever since I've been in Nigeria, my cousin (mid 30s) has been with us. Quite frankly, it is not very easy for him at the moment and i do care about him as a brother. He is in the process of processing his visa, so its not as if he is loafing about.

The plan is that both me and my wife will be taking turns in visiting each other for the next 2 or so years until I return fully to Nigeria.

The problem
The problem is that I do not feel comfortable leaving just him and my wife under thesame roof whilst I return and he is not showing any signs of leaving when I return to my base.

So, this is my situation and I don't know if I am being insensitive.

I married a very good wife and under most circumstances, lI trust her.I am just not comfortable leaving my wife with any man atall under thesame roof.

I need your opinions pls.
Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by Ken4Christ: 10:24am On Apr 15, 2022
cj1900:
Hi guys,
I won't take much of your time. I have a very delicate matter in my hands and I need diverse opinions please.

Background
I don't live in Nigeria but me and my wife both have a very comfortable 4 bedroom duplex in Nigeria. We have a one year old baby. I have been in Nigeria for 5 months now and I will be returning to UK in a few weeks.

Ever since I've been in Nigeria, my cousin (mid 30s) has been with us. Quite frankly, it is not very easy for him at the moment and i do care about him as a brother. He is in the process of processing his visa, so its not as if he is loafing about.

The plan is that both me and my wife will be taking turns in visiting each other for the next 2 or so years until I return fully to Nigeria.

The problem
The problem is that I do not feel comfortable leaving just him and my wife under thesame roof whilst I return and he is not showing any signs of leaving when I return to my base.

So, this is my situation and I don't know if I am being insensitive.

I married a very good wife and under most circumstances, I trust her. I am just not comfortable leaving my wife with any man atall under thesame roof.

I need your opinions pls.

Please, don't. If you have the money, rent him a room to manage. Prevention is better than cure. You can't keep a goat and yam in the same place and expect the goat not to eat the yam.

2 Likes

Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by DukeNija(m): 10:24am On Apr 15, 2022
2special:
just the way they play with your wife

Lol. So e pain you? I know it hurts, the damage she did playing away match with him but you should heal and stop projecting. His cousin reminds you of your situation abi? Not every woman is like your wife.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by toprealman: 10:24am On Apr 15, 2022
cj1900:
Hi guys,
I won't take much of your time. I have a very delicate matter in my hands and I need diverse opinions please.

Background
I don't live in Nigeria but me and my wife both have a very comfortable 4 bedroom duplex in Nigeria. We have a one year old baby. I have been in Nigeria for 5 months now and I will be returning to UK in a few weeks.

Ever since I've been in Nigeria, my cousin (mid 30s) has been with us. Quite frankly, it is not very easy for him at the moment and i do care about him as a brother. He is in the process of processing his visa, so its not as if he is loafing about.

The plan is that both me and my wife will be taking turns in visiting each other for the next 2 or so years until I return fully to Nigeria.

The problem
The problem is that I do not feel comfortable leaving just him and my wife under thesame roof whilst I return and he is not showing any signs of leaving when I return to my base.

So, this is my situation and I don't know if I am being insensitive.

I married a very good wife and under most circumstances, I trust her. I am just not comfortable leaving my wife with any man atall under thesame roof.

I need your opinions pls.
No
Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by skales67(m): 10:25am On Apr 15, 2022
DukeNija:


Lie from the pit of hell. Visit him as what? Are they dating? You think every woman thinks like those you’re exposed to? Why would a married woman visit her husbands cousin in his absence? Better heal from whatever hurt women have put you through.

Another SIMP who doesn't know what the power of discreet communication between two members of the opposite sex who have mutual interest is capable of doing (even if the interest isn't there in the first place, can be ignited by one person for the other to respond).

You are not enlightened in the bolded so no need!

2 Likes

Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by paragon40(m): 10:25am On Apr 15, 2022
Favfables1:


OP....
Take this advice...
Rather than send your cousin away, bring in *her* relative or a domestic staff...
Op heed this advice.

1 Like

Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by Biggcake: 10:25am On Apr 15, 2022
frozen70:



Your wife is the issue here not your cousin

If your wife is decent and you trust her with your last breath, you don't need to panic

If she wants to sleep with another man, she will do so even while you are leaving in Nigeria

So even if you get a room self contain for your cousin to pack out, they will meet when they want to meet

So, just talk to your wife by advising her and that's all

Who go cheat go cheat

What if he eventually rapes the wife ?
Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by KingOfAllIgbos: 10:25am On Apr 15, 2022
Don't try it
Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by akinsmyk(m): 10:26am On Apr 15, 2022
This actually happened to me. In this case, I was the cousin. We’re family members. My brothers mum is the elder sis to my own mum so I was living with them right from secondary school days while we were both teenagers. He’s 3years older than I am.

So when my cousin elder bro graduated from uni and get a good job, he moved out from the family house to get an accommodation on the Island coz that’s where he works. When I finished school, I joined him too coz we have been living in the same room as the only males as a teenager.

Before my bro got married, his fiancé used to come to the house and we gist like friends, we all do hang out together to catch fun and go places together. At times I drive our wife to be to the market or shopping malls in my bro’s car if he doesn’t feel like going.

When they were going to be married, I made move to leave but they said that I can stay. It was a 2bedroom apartment tho and we later moved to 3bed.

2years later, my cousin was transferred to Europe to work living behind the wife and me while working her visa too.

I and the wife stayed 6months together in the apartment before her visa was ready without anyone giving thoughts about rubbish or whatever. My own gf do comes to the house too which they know.

So it’s all about knowing who you married and the kind of brother/cousin you have. If you can vouch for them, so why not. Not everyone is immoral and useless. Some things are just so wrong without being told.

14 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by dododawa1: 10:26am On Apr 15, 2022
Who go cheat go cheat even in your PRESENCE,I prefer your wife family to stay to your cousin.
Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by akinsmyk(m): 10:27am On Apr 15, 2022
Biggcake:


What if he eventually rapes the wife ?

That’s a different case. There’s consequences for that
Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by jaxxy(m): 10:27am On Apr 15, 2022
cj1900:
Hi guys,
I won't take much of your time. I have a very delicate matter in my hands and I need diverse opinions please.

Background
I don't live in Nigeria but me and my wife both have a very comfortable 4 bedroom duplex in Nigeria. We have a one year old baby. I have been in Nigeria for 5 months now and I will be returning to UK in a few weeks.

Ever since I've been in Nigeria, my cousin (mid 30s) has been with us. Quite frankly, it is not very easy for him at the moment and i do care about him as a brother. He is in the process of processing his visa, so its not as if he is loafing about.

The plan is that both me and my wife will be taking turns in visiting each other for the next 2 or so years until I return fully to Nigeria.

The problem
The problem is that I do not feel comfortable leaving just him and my wife under thesame roof whilst I return and he is not showing any signs of leaving when I return to my base.

So, this is my situation and I don't know if I am being insensitive.

I married a very good wife and under most circumstances, I trust her. I am just not comfortable leaving my wife with any man atall under thesame roof.

I need your opinions pls.

If u are this concern about it it's better to avoid it completely and nobody can hold u for that. Ur peace of mind and emotional security is vital rather than leaving room for unnecessary suspicion.

There are 2 solutions or options.

1, have another relative a female or her own male family member come and stay with ur wife. This will remove any form of lonliness that will give room for unnecessary attachments.

2. Tell the young man to find his level as u cannot leave him with ur wife. It is impractical for u. It's that simple.

I cannot be working and thinking of the unthinkable going on in my home.

3 Likes

Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by smasher1(m): 10:27am On Apr 15, 2022
cj1900:
Hi guys,
I won't take much of your time. I have a very delicate matter in my hands and I need diverse opinions please.

Background
I don't live in Nigeria but me and my wife both have a very comfortable 4 bedroom duplex in Nigeria. We have a one year old baby. I have been in Nigeria for 5 months now and I will be returning to UK in a few weeks.

Ever since I've been in Nigeria, my cousin (mid 30s) has been with us. Quite frankly, it is not very easy for him at the moment and i do care about him as a brother. He is in the process of processing his visa, so its not as if he is loafing about.

The plan is that both me and my wife will be taking turns in visiting each other for the next 2 or so years until I return fully to Nigeria.

The problem
The problem is that I do not feel comfortable leaving just him and my wife under thesame roof whilst I return and he is not showing any signs of leaving when I return to my base.

So, this is my situation and I don't know if I am being insensitive.

I married a very good wife and under most circumstances, I trust her. I am just not comfortable leaving my wife with any man atall under thesame roof.

I need your opinions pls.

not wise. even though the man is much younger or older. he's still man. get him an accomodations if possible.
Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by DukeNija(m): 10:28am On Apr 15, 2022
skales67:


Another SIMP who doesn't know what the power of discreet communication between two members of the opposite sex who have mutual interest is capable of doing (even if the interest isn't there in the first place, can be ignited by one person for the other to respond).

You are not enlightened in the bolded so no need!

Your statement is hinged on a baseless assumption that his wife is not to be trusted or has intimate feelings for his cousin, which is clearly your projection. It is his responsibility to separate them to avoid unreasonable intimate feelings. People have trustworthy partners which is something you know nothing about. Heal from past hurt and remember not every woman is a hoe.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by Humphrey2015: 10:28am On Apr 15, 2022
As a man thinked in his heart so he is.
Even though you live you brother is same room with your wife you will think same.
Set your mind free.. so you don't trust your wife and you called a good wife.
Your thought can cause the negative to happen.
So if you are a causin as your brother... You will do same to his wife... Pls be mature and set your self free

4 Likes

Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by 77up(m): 10:29am On Apr 15, 2022
Your cousin and your wife in the same house shocked

You can't afford to do that bro, don't ever try it.
Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by Jucci80(m): 10:29am On Apr 15, 2022
Hey buddy, the truth of the matter is renting an apartment for your cousin wont even solve it.
You just have to talk to your wife. What kind of woman is she? Where did you meet her? What's her background like? Does she have a bad past? Is she is clear,then have some mental romance with her.
Get her assurance and never fail to engage her every now and then, play with her, make her happy, don't create any gap at all. Do your civic duty well. She will be home for you. Let her also engage her self in church activities.
Then look for her sister or brother to also stay with them.
Thank you
Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by tmoneyu: 10:29am On Apr 15, 2022
cj1900:
Hi guys,
I won't take much of your time. I have a very delicate matter in my hands and I need diverse opinions please.

Background
I don't live in Nigeria but me and my wife both have a very comfortable 4 bedroom duplex in Nigeria. We have a one year old baby. I have been in Nigeria for 5 months now and I will be returning to UK in a few weeks.

Ever since I've been in Nigeria, my cousin (mid 30s) has been with us. Quite frankly, it is not very easy for him at the moment and i do care about him as a brother. He is in the process of processing his visa, so its not as if he is loafing about.

The plan is that both me and my wife will be taking turns in visiting each other for the next 2 or so years until I return fully to Nigeria.

The problem
The problem is that I do not feel comfortable leaving just him and my wife under thesame roof whilst I return and he is not showing any signs of leaving when I return to my base.

So, this is my situation and I don't know if I am being insensitive.

I married a very good wife and under most circumstances, I trust her. I am just not comfortable leaving my wife with any man atall under thesame roof.

I need your opinions pls.
oga u better assist the guy by getting him an apartment or help him processing his visa, it's not wise because of the story that touches the heart.. U said u care about him, prove it by assisting him not giving him shelter but teaching him how to fish
Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by 2special(m): 10:30am On Apr 15, 2022
DukeNija:


Lol. So e pain you? I know it hurts, the damage she did playing away match with him but you should heal and stop projecting. His cousin reminds you of your situation abi? Not every woman is like your wife.
wetin pains here, useless pig
Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by MrDebonair: 10:30am On Apr 15, 2022
Op. Are you worried about her shagging your cousin or other men? Cos she could do the two.

Regardless of whatever decision you take, your wife could still cheat if she wants to.

Even if you get your cousin his own apartment, she could still go there and satisfy herself. It may not even be with your cousin.

Even if you relocate your wife and kid with you, she could still cheat if she wants to.

So you can see that your wife cheating is not dependant on your cousin being there or she relocating with you.

It is about you removing the notion in your mind that your wife could give in to another man. And assuming a state of my woman can't cheat until proven otherwise.

All women flirt most women cheat. Just like you could cheat, they could cheat too.

In summary, remove the thoughts in your head about the likelihood of her getting shagged. There is nothing you can do about it as long as you don't find out, so why worry your head.

2 Likes

Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by DukeNija(m): 10:30am On Apr 15, 2022
Humphrey2015:
As a man thinked in his heart so he is.
Even though you live you brother is same room with your wife you will think same.
Set your mind free.. so you don't trust your wife and you called a good wife.
Your thought can cause the negative to happen.
So if you are a causin as your brother... You will do same to his wife... Pls be mature and set your self free

Mr man, he’s not his cousin. They’re not the same person.
Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by petrage(m): 10:30am On Apr 15, 2022
OreoPaschal:


Well, there is no remedy to cheating. Sending your cousin out of the house, still won't restrict your wife from cheating assuming she is a cheat. Sending him away is a breach of trust and insecurity from you end. You have mentioned that you trust her to an extent, give her that benefit of doubt. It is certain your cousin isn't comfortable staying under your roof. No man in such age, will be happy either. Discuss with your wife your fears, and get assurance of her love and loyalty.

Alternatively, get an additional domestic staff or her relative to stay around as well. Every house needs a man to protect it. And whilst, you are away - your cousin will definitely protect your wife.
God bless you....you've said it all, rather than create an impression, a female relative of hers can join them.
Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by FutureIsFemale(f): 10:30am On Apr 15, 2022
cj1900:
Hi guys,
I won't take much of your time. I have a very delicate matter in my hands and I need diverse opinions please.

Background
I don't live in Nigeria but me and my wife both have a very comfortable 4 bedroom duplex in Nigeria. We have a one year old baby. I have been in Nigeria for 5 months now and I will be returning to UK in a few weeks.

Ever since I've been in Nigeria, my cousin (mid 30s) has been with us. Quite frankly, it is not very easy for him at the moment and i do care about him as a brother. He is in the process of processing his visa, so its not as if he is loafing about.

The plan is that both me and my wife will be taking turns in visiting each other for the next 2 or so years until I return fully to Nigeria.

The problem
The problem is that I do not feel comfortable leaving just him and my wife under thesame roof whilst I return and he is not showing any signs of leaving when I return to my base.

So, this is my situation and I don't know if I am being insensitive.

I married a very good wife and under most circumstances, I trust her. I am just not comfortable leaving my wife with any man atall under thesame roof.

I need your opinions pls.
Men can't control their urge.
Things that are likely to happen;
1. Will drug your wife then rape her.
2. Would rape your wife.
Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by twosquare(m): 10:31am On Apr 15, 2022
The parable of the goat and the yam! grin
Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by akinsmyk(m): 10:32am On Apr 15, 2022
cj1900:
Hi guys,
I won't take much of your time. I have a very delicate matter in my hands and I need diverse opinions please.

Background
I don't live in Nigeria but me and my wife both have a very comfortable 4 bedroom duplex in Nigeria. We have a one year old baby. I have been in Nigeria for 5 months now and I will be returning to UK in a few weeks.

Ever since I've been in Nigeria, my cousin (mid 30s) has been with us. Quite frankly, it is not very easy for him at the moment and i do care about him as a brother. He is in the process of processing his visa, so its not as if he is loafing about.

The plan is that both me and my wife will be taking turns in visiting each other for the next 2 or so years until I return fully to Nigeria.

The problem
The problem is that I do not feel comfortable leaving just him and my wife under thesame roof whilst I return and he is not showing any signs of leaving when I return to my base.

So, this is my situation and I don't know if I am being insensitive.

I married a very good wife and under most circumstances, I trust her. I am just not comfortable leaving my wife with any man atall under thesame roof.

I need your opinions pls.

This actually happened to me. In this case, I was the cousin. We’re family members. My brothers mum is the elder sis to my own mum so I was living with them right from secondary school days while we were both teenagers. He’s 3years older than I am.

So when my cousin elder bro graduated from uni and get a good job, he moved out from the family house to get an accommodation on the Island coz that’s where he works. When I finished school, I joined him too coz we have been living in the same room as the only males as a teenager.

Before my bro got married, his fiancé used to come to the house and we gist like friends, we all do hang out together to catch fun and go places together. At times I drive our wife to be to the market or shopping malls in my bro’s car if he doesn’t feel like going.

When they were going to be married, I made move to leave but they said that I can stay. It was a 2bedroom apartment tho and we later moved to 3bed.

2years later, my cousin was transferred to Europe to work living behind the wife and me while working her visa too.

I and the wife stayed 6months together in the apartment before her visa was ready without anyone giving thoughts about rubbish or whatever. My own gf do comes to the house too which they know.

So it’s all about knowing who you married and the kind of brother/cousin you have. If you can vouch for them, so why not. Not everyone is immoral and useless. Some things are just so wrong without being told.

4 Likes

Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by LordKO(m): 10:33am On Apr 15, 2022
Yes, unless you are married to an unscrupulous woman and have a rouge as a cousin.

1 Like

Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by objobj: 10:33am On Apr 15, 2022
Fiscus105:



Trust her? Yet still doubting her staying with ur own cousin not friends or outsiders oo.


I think you should more concerned about her exes who may likely play rebound ball after several years of separation.

Are u a kid
Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by Mubiola360: 10:34am On Apr 15, 2022
cj1900:
Hi guys,
I won't take much of your time. I have a very delicate matter in my hands and I need diverse opinions please.

Background
I don't live in Nigeria but me and my wife both have a very comfortable 4 bedroom duplex in Nigeria. We have a one year old baby. I have been in Nigeria for 5 months now and I will be returning to UK in a few weeks.

Ever since I've been in Nigeria, my cousin (mid 30s) has been with us. Quite frankly, it is not very easy for him at the moment and i do care about him as a brother. He is in the process of processing his visa, so its not as if he is loafing about.

The plan is that both me and my wife will be taking turns in visiting each other for the next 2 or so years until I return fully to Nigeria.

The problem
The problem is that I do not feel comfortable leaving just him and my wife under thesame roof whilst I return and he is not showing any signs of leaving when I return to my base.

So, this is my situation and I don't know if I am being insensitive.

I married a very good wife and under most circumstances, I trust her. I am just not comfortable leaving my wife with any man atall under thesame roof.

I need your opinions pls.
Do as much as you can tokeep your camel safe before you pray to God for it safety, even if something later happens, at least you've tried your best and thus, it's destined to happen.
If possible , get an accommodation for your cousin else where.

2 Likes

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