Sominablack:
Greeting Nairalanders,
My wifes attitude has been unbecoming, disrespectful, avoiding intimacy for months, insultive and always playing the silent treatment which I have learnt to ignore. Her mum visited and confirmed these attitude, she did counsel and advised her to change yet she was reluctant and stated she dont want to continue being a wife that she has lost love and feelings for me because I want things to be done decently and in order in my family which she is opposed to. Having observed this her mum left angrily and told the matter to her husband to confirm some of the issues of my wifes behaviour which I had stressed on and as a result had a family meeting with her family since I was invited not long ago.

Now with the attitude still being displayed by her, her dad asked me to come down to the village by next week so the issue will be discussed in their larger family so that my wife would come and explain to them why she is behaving the way she is doing, but not up to three months we had a meeting and now this one billed for next week again.I dont feel like honouring the meeting because I have done my best to follow peace even though I cannot fathom where I am at fault. At this juncture what do I do?

My advice to you will be to get professional help from a counselor or therapist. Family members may mean well, but most times they are not equipped with the right tools to solve problems.

Evii:
Since she said she had lost love for you, another guy probably her ex done dey Bleep her. Simple

Chai

theForth:


He doesn't owe her that if they are divorced.

Well if divorced she gets half of whatever he has jointly acquired . So giving some money is my kind Of a way of settling it amicably.

https://www.resolutionlawng.com/sharing-of-property-after-divorce-in-nigeria/

King2019:

African
Have humans become something that can be separated by geography or regions dictated by the past
Everyone is equal before the creator the faster you realise this the better for you.

Don't you know African brand of commonsense dey reach nowhere else on this planet.

Go and married or look for a cheap and humble woman don't allow any woman to cut your Life short

Olosho like all the female in your female including your mother.Fool

Mayeldah:
Sometimes na small thing dey make women behave that way.

You may have been ignoring her complaints, what does she always hammer on when you guys quarel?

Relax your stance on doing somethings in a particular way, let her also have freedom to contribute to family issues and respect her decisions

Above all, give her more money, as much as you can!

If you do all these she no change, then she may be depressed!

I was following until you said money is the most important and should be supplied without limit. Please explain why?

gasparpisciotta:
If she says she doesn’t love you anymore and wants to leave, let her go.

Na Wahala commot for your life so!!!!

Na so Biafra dey talk since o.

Dear op that woman is secretly cheating on you.

baby124:

Hmm. Hope you have not turned your relationship to master-slave relationship. She’s not your child, she’s your wife. Apply flexibility and trust her to take care of things. Maybe you are authoritarian and controlling. She’s tired of it. You can’t fully control and dictate to another human being. It will make your relationship fall apart. All humans desire free will and it is our nature. Try to be flexible and overlook petty things.

Insightful

Sominablack, kindly respond to this.

My guy my wife is like dat, she is a baby and emotional giant. Ignore the punk, go to d meeting and be calm. Let dem battle it dem self. My dear she wil eventually move out of yor house. Just dont care. Be yourself. U dont try, make she go look bush.

Kobojunkie:
Again....There is no wisdom in any of what you asked abeg!

Of course. What else can a blind self deceiving feminist vomit?

SocialJustice:
I was following until you said money is the most important and should be supplied without limit. Please explain why?

Money makes most Nigerian women igonre your irritant attitudes and love you nonetheless. Try it, it works

You may need to hustle more, give her a particular amount every month for her upkeep and buy her gifts always

If you do this, things will soften a bit and she will begin to love you more.

Have this at the back of your mind, love in Nigeria is mostly transactional, you must give something to have it always.

rockycongos:
My guy my wife is like dat, she is a baby and emotional giant. Ignore the punk, go to d meeting and be calm. Let dem battle it dem self. My dear she wil eventually move out of yor house. Just dont care. Be yourself. U dont try, make she go look bush.

Your wife is like that?

Mayeldah:
Money makes most Nigerian women igonre your irritant attitudes and love you nonetheless. Try it, it works

You may need to hustle more, give her a particular amount every month for her upkeep and buy her gifts always

If you do this, things will soften a bit and she will begin to love you more.

Have this at the back of your mind, love in Nigeria is mostly transactional, you must give something to have it always.

Interesting take!

One of the reasons why men go for a second wife or babymama.

Sominablack

Greeting Nairalanders,
My wifes attitude has been unbecoming, disrespectful, avoiding intimacy for months, insultive and always playing the silent treatment which I have learnt to ignore.

Women are quite sensitive, what happened that made her this way? I am sure this disrespectful woman that denies you sex is not the person you married. What made her change?

Her mum visited and confirmed these attitude, she did counsel and advised her to change yet she was reluctant and stated she dont want to continue being a wife that she has lost love and feelings for me because[b]I want things to be done decently and in order in my family which she is opposed to[/b]

Please, can you list the decent ways she's opposed to?

Now with the attitude still being displayed by her, her dad asked me to come down to the village by next week so the issue will be discussed in their larger family so that my wife would come and explain to them why she is behaving the way she is doing, but not up to three months we had a meeting and now this one billed for next week again. I dont feel like honouring the meeting because I have done my best to follow peace even though I cannot fathom where I am at fault.

Choosing not to attend this meeting is a big mistake and insult to your wife's family.

At this juncture what do I do?

I can not give a clear answer here without answers to the questions I raised earlier. Until you answer, do not assume anything about your wife that you will be ashamed of in the end if it turns out wrong.

Sominablack:
Thanks all for the advice, I appreciate. But as it is now, am no longer interested in the relationship any longer, how can I do with my daughter of 7years that's the only issue bothering me now, cos I dont want her to influence her negatively.

Do not divorce your wife. Borrow a leaf from Yul Edochie and live happily ever after.

Mayeldah:


Money makes most Nigerian women igonre your irritant attitudes and love you nonetheless. Try it, it works

You may need to hustle more, give her a particular amount every month for her upkeep and buy her gifts always

If you do this, things will soften a bit and she will begin to love you more.

Have this at the back of your mind, love in Nigeria is mostly transactional, you must give something to have it always.

Money laslas still answers this one. O

elinaxy:
Pls send it here, I'm interested.

Send me an email DM.

Righteousness2:
From your epistle, no one said you are wrong.
As for the meeting, make yourself available for it , if you can.
Explore every avenue to bring peace.
Most Important, commit your Family to GOD ALMIGHTY in Prayers. Conciously bring GOD into your Home.

I Pray for you that My Precious DADDY Heals your Home and restore the Love , Joy , Peace and togetherness that brought you two together , in JESUS Name

abeg my Baba God is busy with me. No body should call for his attention for now.

Mayeldah:


Money makes most Nigerian women igonre your irritant attitudes and love you nonetheless. Try it, it works

You may need to hustle more, give her a particular amount every month for her upkeep and buy her gifts always

If you do this, things will soften a bit and she will begin to love you more.

Have this at the back of your mind, love in Nigeria is mostly transactional, you must give something to have it always.

Na true sha. Make her comfortable, no need to waste money.

The average Nigerian girl only seeks a level of comfort, nothing extravagant. If you are dating a glutton, then she should work the extra money she needs to live her gluttonous life style.

You can choose to fund a trophy babe as you please but finally they are just normal girls. Some never go Dubai self and they want you to put them on N100k to N2m salary monthly.

Providing for your woman does not give you the right to start being obnoxious to her. With all the money you provide, she may detest you to the extent she starts f*cking your friends, colleagues, domestic staff and campus boys while channeling all your money to them. Pray one does not get bold and start suggesting to her to kidnap, rob or even kill you.

koyyess:

A. Control freek...you are lying.

B. Your have a chance to voice your issue and sort things out once and for all. But nairaland seems to be better when no one has heard your wife's side of the story.

C. You want to chicken out because you know your wife will expose every every.

You are the cause of your problem.

Interesting observation!

GooodHardDick:
Oga, do you need a prophet tell you that your wife has another guy banging her pussy?

Haven't you heard Nigeria girls are so useless, All of them? With her behaviours, you don't need anyone to tell you that your wife secretly and codedly has another dick banging and servicing her pussy. My brother Your wife Na Olosho, just as most Nigeria girls are. your wife is looking for a way to end that marriage and be with her new lover. That meeting definitely won't stop her from hoeing around.

Oga, You better divorce that girl for your complete peace of mind. Stop killing yourself, forget her and move on

So you think Op is as dirty minded as you're with your senseless advice? This is someone's wife you open your sinking mouth to. See your dirty name are you someone one should take advice from!?

theForth:


Do women truly love?
I dont really buy that.

All that is needed for a realtionship to run is respect and everyone pulling their own weight, the man providing and the woman nuturing.

Women never and can never love. See if a woman tells you she loves you it is as a result of careful calculation. You know 90% of women's perspective of life is that life is an adventure that must be explored. A man they feel can offer them the opportunity to adventurous life is who they fall in love with.

Ufithelp:


Women never and can never love. See if a woman tells you she loves you it is as a result of careful calculation. You know 90% of women's perspective of life is that life is an adventure that must be explored. A man they feel can offer them the opportunity to adventurous life is who they fall in love with.

Correct.

Bignuell:
You know what i think, i think marriages has lost it's flavour. What i want to say might not be in line of the OP problem, but the "lost love and feeling" part got me. I believe people want to be free in marriages and exhibit attitude they had while in their father's house. Alot of people go into marriages with plan B, not a plan B in terms of finances or other things that'll benefit both party, the plan B kicks in when there is a shift in the normal routine of exhibiting love for each other. At this stage we can now say marriage is give and take, forget what our fathers told us. People no longer want to be commited, responsible, heed to correction or advice. I always say, the confines of marriages are rigid, someone said she doesn't love her partner and they're calling family meeting, for what exactly, to reinstall an updated version of love. If a woman said that to me, forget, my love for her don die. Somepeople don't want to salvage any marriage, they want out. Instead of asking for a family meeting, ask her in front of her parents if she wants a divorce or not, make we no dey beat around the bush. Tell her to pour her mind. Somepeople don't need your hand while they're drowning, let them be, let the water carry them, if they survive, good, if they choose to be one with the tide, say your goodbyes. Masallam

Flesh and bones did not reveal this to you, This is just the best advise so far and all sominablack needs is definitely contained in this point...

This story get as e be o

You've said hers

She maybe in one group complaining of your own character too

This is a faceless forum always try and open up, so you can get a sincere answer or tips on how to go on.

Marriage needs 1fool and 1knowledgeable person to make it work .

gasparpisciotta:
If she says she doesn’t love you anymore and wants to leave, let her go.

Na Wahala commot for your life so!!!!

if she want to go...let her go and pls make yourself available for the meeting

Sominablack:
Greeting Nairalanders,
My wifes attitude has been unbecoming, disrespectful, avoiding intimacy for months, insultive and always playing the silent treatment which I have learnt to ignore. Her mum visited and confirmed these attitude, she did counsel and advised her to change yet she was reluctant and stated she dont want to continue being a wife that she has lost love and feelings for me because I want things to be done decently and in order in my family which she is opposed to. Having observed this her mum left angrily and told the matter to her husband to confirm some of the issues of my wifes behaviour which I had stressed on and as a result had a family meeting with her family since I was invited not long ago.

Now with the attitude still being displayed by her, her dad asked me to come down to the village by next week so the issue will be discussed in their larger family so that my wife would come and explain to them why she is behaving the way she is doing, but not up to three months we had a meeting and now this one billed for next week again.I dont feel like honouring the meeting because I have done my best to follow peace even though I cannot fathom where I am at fault. At this juncture what do I do?

There are 2 sides to every story. A woam cannot just become stubborn like that. I will prefer to hear from her first